A Giant Pile of Steaming...(Part 2 of 7)

Continuing on with the email forward I received from a friend.

Scenario:
Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car
and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1958 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal,
goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2008 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse.
Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang.
State psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers
being abused herself and their dad goes to prison.
Billy's mom has affair with psychologist.

Actually, what 1958 should read is this:

Billy has a wide variety of mental and emotional issues related to the physical abuse his dad inflicted on him, fails to go to college or land a decent job, and grows up to abuse his own kids because that's WHAT ACTUALLY FUCKING HAPPENS IN THE REAL WORLD AS OPPOSED TO NEVER NEVER LAND!!!

The person who wrote this email clearly has never spent any time with abused children or adults and is completely lacking in any sort of knowledge of even rudimentary psychology and behavior development. To them, these fields are probably just "more liberal bullshit" which is quite apparent in their view of 2008. What a bunch of over exaggerated nonsense.

In addition, what's with the violence thing again? Seriously, I honestly think that people that view the world this way get off on beatings and death. It reminds me of the time I watched the Passion of the Christ a few years back. I was with some friends of mine who are very right wing Christians and, for many of them, it was their third or fourth time! Honestly, I could only watch Jesus Christ being beaten and mutilated once. It was sad and nauseating. They didn't seem to mind, though, as they were over taken by emotion and, strangely, almost seemed to enjoy it.

Put that together with how they seem to always have to find an enemy to blow up somewhere and it really makes you wonder. Maybe they might fit in just fine in Iran or Saudi Arabia.

A Giant Pile of Steaming...(Part 1 of 7)

Last week a friend of mine sent me an email forward that I have decided to make the topic of the week. I want to be clear up front that the person that did sent to me is a very kind hearted and wonderful human being who viewed this email as a joke. I am hoping that when all of you read it you will find it to be yet another excellent example of a giant pile of steaming right wing tap into your inner rage horse manure that, sadly, she did not recognize.

Each email consisted of a comparison between a school in 1958 and a school today. There were 8 comparisons and a concluded paragraph which ordered

This email should hit every email box to show how stupid we have become.

So, let's take a look at how "stupid" we have become and start off our Monday with two comparisons.

Scenario:
Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students.
1958 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the Principal.
Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2008 - Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie.
Tested for ADD. School gets extra money from state
because Jeffrey has a disability.

Scenario:

Jack goes quail hunting before school,
pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.
1958 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun,
goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
2008 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail
and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselor called in
for traumatized students and teachers.

Let's begin the idiocy in the first example of beating a child with ADD. Really? Is that a solution for someone who has a learning disorder...violence? As we go through the week, we will see more examples of how violence seems to be the only answer for people who think like this...which, of course, begs the question...aren't believers in Christ supposed to support non violence?

And of course, we do have the rip about the school "getting money from the state" which is right wing douche bag code word for "evil" big government taking YOUR money and giving it some retard somewhere. If only that gimp could heed those magic words of the right....just pull yourself up by your bootstraps and everything will be fine.

The second example shows an oldie but a goodie...Gubmint's a comin' to take our guns! I loves my guns! And then Jack is going to be sent away...to jail! What a pantload. First of all, who goes quail hunting before school? And if they do, it is probably in Montana or Wyoming where no one is going to call the FBI. I do quite enjoy the counselors getting called in thing though because everyone in education, of course, are all a bunch of lily livered faggots who are all a-feared of guns...right?

Now, the do have a good point about the over medication which is why I paired these two together. If Jack were on an SSRI (Serotonin Re-Uptake Inhibitor), then he would probably go on a school shooting spree. Drugs like Paxil, Prozac, and Lexepro should never be given to any person under the age of 21 as they tend to make their still developing minds think more violently (1 out of 100 young adults!) and possibly act that way. Look at any school shooting in the last ten years and ALL of the gunmen have been on anti depressants.

But seriously...this makes us "stupid?" That we want to take care of people that are mentally challenged? That we don't want our children to carry guns in schools? That we don't beat our kids anymore?

Folks, the word "stupid" is actually right wing douche bag code for "weak." Essentially, problems are too complex for them in today's society so...let's resort to violence, which seems to be their answer for everything. Anyone want to guess what countries in the world still beat their students and mistreat children that are mentally challenged?

Iran, Saudi Arabia, Syria, Pakistan...

So I guess the right wants us to be just like them:)

Cool.

The Grudge Match

Rush Limbaugh, who I guess is now the head of the GOP now that Michael Steele wussed out, has challenged President Obama to an on air duel. While it's doubtful that it will ever happen, it does bring up some interesting ideas.

A few weeks ago I wrote about how President Obama made his first mistake by even mentioning Rush Limbaugh. For the most part, I think this is still true. He has much more important things on his mind than to address an entertainer. But now this entertainer has hilariously been set up as the head of the opposition which, in all honesty, is fucking great, I hope Rush stays in the news for a long time. Why?

Now the entire country can truly see what the GOP has become...an ignorant, hate filled group of jingoistic psychotics who subscribe to a divisive belief system. Either you are with us or you are a traitor, is their motto and they will shout it to the highest tree tops in identifying who are the enemies of the state...who are the "real" Americans and who are not.

If President Obama is even marginally successful in his efforts to help the economy, it will be the end of the douche bagedness of the conservative movement in this country. It might even be the end of the GOP period. Check out this quote from another blog I post on:

We will fracture from the Repubes and go by a new party name-the Limbaughians. And then he can head things up. I will gladly go to work for him. He loves smart women, pays very well, and we are on the same page ideologically. I could never work for a liberal.

Cool.

Pelosi on Hannity

Here is a clip of Alexandra Pelosi hawking her HBO special on Hannity. They show another clip from the doc which is very interesting...Hannity as the messiah.

Also, check out how much he fawns over Alex:)

A Clip

As promised, here is a clip from Right America: Feeling Wronged.

A Sad Tale

Last week I had the pleasure, if you can call it that, of watching the HBO documentary Right America: Feeling Wronged directed by Alexandra Pelosi. Yes, she is the daughter of Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi. Before all you righties out there start screaming about bias, Alexandra did direct the wonderful film Journeys With George which chronicled the 2000 campaign of George W Bush. President Bush and Ms. Pelosi became friends during the filming in which she was allowed complete access to him. They are still friends to this day so please...leave the fucking "tap into your inner rage about liberal media bias" thing over at the Kool Aid stand.

Her latest film examines the aftermath of President Obama's election and its effect on right wing America. I started it and stopped it at least three times (had it on TiVo) because I just could not take the magnitude of the ignorance in the 50 minute piece. Finally, as any political wonk would, I somehow managed to get through it. I'll put up a clip tomorrow from the film but I urge all of you who have HBO to watch this documentary. It will be airing on HBO all month. After you do, let me know if you reach the same conclusions that I did, which are:

• Complete vindication of my assertion that the loons in the Republican Party are far more abundant, organized, and strong than the loons on the left. In fact, they are the base of the conservative movement.
• Just as with the loons on the left, their complete and utter ignorance knows no bounds.
• Their ignorance is willful...again just like on the left.
  
• Complete destruction of Jonah Goldberg's fucking dumb ass theory that liberals are secretly fascists. Watch this documentary and you will see that the conservative movement is about fervent and warped nationalism fed by very strict views on race, gender, religion, and sexual orientation....all key ingredients to a fascist state (more on this later in the week).
  

Now, Pelosi says that "while not representative of the entire Republican Party, these are just some of the party faithful who turned out at campaign rallies along the way." Of course she has to say that in an attempt to sound fair and balanced. And even I am willing to admit that, after numerous arguments over the years about Yassar Arafat being a "freedom fighter," the left is full of shit about many things.

But where is the left's equivalent of Rush Limbaugh...or should I say Herr Limbaugh? His speech delivered at the CPAC conference over the weekend was nauseating. He talked a lot about freedom...freedom as long as its his way, mind you. Where is the left's equivalent of CPAC? Or Grover Norquist? Or Sinclair Broadcasting? Or Clear Channel? Oh, that's right. That would be the delusion that NBC, ABC, and CBS are all liberal.

Honestly, folks, I just don't see any sort of organizing principle on the left like I do on the right...like we clearly see in this documentary. To simply say that "there are just as many crazies on the left as on the right" is overly simplistic. Jerry Falwell said it best when he said that the conservative base is the largest minority voting bloc in this country. Guess what?

They all turned out for Alexandra Pelosi.

Still Laughing (and hurting from it)

Thanks to Last in Line for sharing this with me...this is the funniest thing I have seen since "Jizz in My Pants."

Once Again, Remarkable

Yesterday, President Obama called various leaders of Congress, of both parties, as well as key US financial minds to the White House for a meeting on fiscal responsibility. In what has to be one of the most interesting things I have ever seen, he set up the event like a press conference in which he was standing at the front fielding questions and everyone else was out in the audience. I'm not sure I have ever seen a president do this before...certainly not the last four. It sets the tone for how different our new leader is going to run the show.

He took some tough questions and had some very interesting answers..one of which was a promise to reduce the federal deficit by half. He said that the economic crisis “will require us to make difficult decisions" and that he “going through our budget line by line to root out waste and inefficiency,” and “eliminating programs that don’t work.” In addition, he “will stop the fraud and abuse” and “make more tough choices,” he said, “to start living within our means again." All of this said after last week's remarks regarding cuts in Social Security, Medicare and a reformation the tax code. What the? Is he really a Democrat?

But talk isn't enough...which is what most Republicans said who attended the meeting...I think with good cause. As our new President addresses Congress tonight and unveils his budget on Thursday, let's all take an honest look to see if he is going to actually make cuts and raise revenues.

Alright, conservatives, if you see the cuts are you going to give him credit or will you continue to do the "tap into your inner rage and find fault with everything" rag?

And My Pick Is.....

Tonight are the Oscars. It seems like Slumdog Millionaire has all the momentum. Of the five films nominated, I think that Milk is the best but I think Slumdog will win. Milk has really hung with me in the last week and it is such an amazing film.

If I had to rate the rest of them I guess Frost Nixon is a close second followed by Benjamin Button, then Slumdog and finally The Reader.

Where It All Began

I thought I would save Frost Nixon, the fifth of the five films to be nominated for this year's Academy Awards, for last. Why? Of all of the films nominated this year, Ron Howard's latest gem is the most congruent with the subject matter of this blog.

To begin with, the film is excellent. Frank Langella and Michael Sheen are absolutely stunning in their performances. The supporting cast, consisting of Sam Rockwell, Kevin Bacon, and Oliver Platt, is also quite good. The film is based on the great interviews that David Frost had with Richard Nixon in 1977.

For me, the most intriguing part of the film (actually using the interviews themselves as dialog) was the haunting similarity between Nixon's explanations of Watergate/Vietnam and President Bush's explanations of...well everything he did. Dick Cheney and Don Rumsfeld both worked for Richard Nixon in his second administration and they learned well from the master. The complete and utter bald face lies told time and again in the face of basic facts is as nauseating today as it was 31 years ago.

The money line:

"I'm saying that when the president does it, it's not illegal"

Sound familiar?

Tell Me A Story

Braving the relatively minor snowfall last night which, for some reason, inexplicably causes the new wimpy Minnesotan to drive like total douche bags (see: green light means FUCKING GO, BITCH), I trekked over to neighboring Edina to see The Reader.

Based on the novel, the film tells the story of a young man named Michael who has a chance encounter with an older woman named Hannah. They have an affair over the spring and summer of 1958 in which he learns the art of love making. It's been awhile since I was turned on...in that way...by a regular film and some of scenes gave me the screaming thigh sweats!

Hannah moves unexpectedly and leaves Michael wondering what happened. Years later, Michael is a law student and goes with this class to watch trials of suspected Nazi sympathizers. It turns out that Hannah is one of the suspects and the story unfolds from there in a very tragic yet terribly romantic way.

Ralph Fiennes plays the older version of Michael who is essentially a man who never got over his one true love. The main hook of the story, which I want give away, is very near and dear to me as I am a vociferous reader. Kate Winslett is her usual wonderful self and has several nude scenes ( great ass btw). David Kross plays the young Michael and is the real star of this film. He does silence better than any actor I have seen in a long while.

For those of you looking for a night of tragic passion and unrequited love, check this one out.

Life Outside the Bubble

Slumdog Millionaire was the first of the five films nominated for Best Picture that I saw. Generally, I had an idea what it was about but had no idea that it would be as compelling as it was.

The film tells a story of a young man named Jamal Malik and his rise from the slums of Mumbai all the way to a chance appearance on the Indian version of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. Jamal is played by Dev Patel who I knew I was going to like because of my obsession with the British TV show Skins.

As he recounts his life to a police office who is torturing him for information as to why he made it onto the game show in the first place, we see the horrors of poverty, the insanity of the human condition, and, of course, the power of love. For most Americans, the sight of the slums in India is horrific. When I saw the film, there were actually people shouting at the screen because they couldn't believe what young Jamal had seen and done in his life.

Convectional wisdom says this is the one that is going to win. I'm holding out my pick until I see The Reader tomorrow night.

Americana At Its Best

Continuing with the Oscar nominations for Best Picture, last Sunday night I took in The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Of the five films nominated, I thought this one would be the one I would like the least. It turned out to be one of my favorites.

The film tells the story of a man born old and living backwards...getting younger and younger as the years roll on. His story begins in 1918 and moves forward to present day. The first hour of the film is typical period piece, shoo in for and Oscar nom fare. As we get into the World War Two years, the tone becomes a little more stark. Right about at mid point (the film is almost three hours) you realize that this is a movie about the relationships that one has in one's life. In particular, how the people you love are dynamic...in a constant state of change...and are highly unpredictable.

I have been going through some tough stuff with one such relationship in my life recently and, as usual, the reason why I love films as much as I do was fully illustrated in this narrative. The relationship between Benjamin (Brad Pitt) and Daisy (Cate Blanchett) was nothing short of extraordinary. I have always had questions in my head, for my whole life really, about relationships....questions like why does love seem eternally unfilled...confused...sad..and ultimately lonely?

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button answers these questions quite well which, as films often do, made me feel a lot better about the aformentioned relationship.

And it is a very nice tapestry of Americana, from a rabid historian's point of view.

Harvey Delivers from the Grave

A couple of nights ago I called my 91 year old grandmother to check in. I try to call her at least a couple of times a week since my grandfather passed away last April. She was doing just fine.

My grandmother has been a staunch conservative for her entire life. She has gone to the same church for over 60 years and is a strict believer in the word of God.

So, it came as a real surprise to me that she told me that she saw the film MILK recently with her friends. The movie, currently nominated for several Oscars including Best Picture, Best Actor, and Best Screenplay, tells the story of Harvey Milk, the first openly gay man to be elected to a public office.

Milk was elected to the San Francisco Board of Supervisors in 1977. He also was instrumental in defeating Proposition 6, a state wide referendum which would have banned all homosexuals from teaching in public schools. He, along with Mayor George Muscone, was assassinated by another member of the Board named Dan White on November 27, 1978. White's motive was anger over the liberal, multi cultural turn that the board had taken. In addition to electing the first gay man, the Board had also elected its first single mom and first Chinese American, two other people that White had planned on killing but changed his mind after he shot Muscone 4 times (3 in the head) and Milk also 5 times (2 in the head) with hollow point bullets.

I had recently seen the film as well, being a part of my usual Oscar blitz at this time of year, and both of us talked about it. She remarked of the horrible treatment by fellow Americans that gay people have had to endure which is depicted quite vividly in the film. She was angry at how un-Christian supposed followers of Jesus were when the topic of homosexuality comes up. And then she dropped a bomb shell on me.

She told me that homosexuals are born the way God intended them to be and it was not learned behavior like some people thought. Wow! Even 20 years after he was shot, Harvey is still changing people's minds.

Needless to say, I was very happy. We talked some more about the film and how incredibly sad it was that America has so many stories about people who try to stand up and change things to make people happier only to be gunned down by psychotic morons.

If you go see the film, a word of warning: they show everything in the assassination scene. It is very difficult to watch. I have no qualms about saying that I wept like a baby before, during and after it.

Guess What?

Well that didn't take long. From CNN.com

Blogger Michelle Malkin, in a story on the conservative Web site TownHall.com on Wednesday, said that if Hughes "had more time, she probably would have remembered to ask Obama to fill up her gas tank, too."

"The soul-fixer dutifully asked her name, gave her a hug and ordered his staff to meet with her. Supporters cried, 'Amen!' and 'Yes!' " she added.

"How does a 61-year-old homeless woman who's living in a pickup truck with her son JUST HAPPEN to get a ticket so she can VERY PUBLICLY ask Prez. Obama for a HOUSE? Anyone? Who pushes her up on stage? She's right at the front of the crowd. Did she just happen to get a seat there?" asked reader Erik E.

I don't know, Erik but as is the usual with the right, you have demonstrated a complete lack of taking any sort of responsibility and completely missed the point.

What a fucking shock.

Wait For It

President Obama spoke today at a rally in Ft Meyers, Fl to pitch his stimulus package to the American people. Ft Meyers has been hit hard by foreclosures so the audience was filled with people in economic trouble.

He took questions and the woman at left, Henrietta Hughes, got up and told him how rough her life had been lately. I predict the right will pile on her like flies on shit in the next 48 hours. She is a perfect example of who they love to rip apart. Let's keep an eye out, shall we?

The Sad Return of a Monster

Well, Dick didn't waste anytime did he? Less than two weeks after leaving office, former Vice President Cheney said that there is a "high probability" that terrorists will attempt a catastrophic attack on US soil and the policies of President Obama will make it easier for them to do so.

Dipping deeply into the "fear and shit your pants" bag of old tricks, Dick specififed that the closing of Guantanomo Bay will lead to a nuclear attack on this country. Protecting the country’s security is “a tough, mean, dirty, nasty business,” he said. “These are evil people. And we’re not going to win this fight by turning the other cheek.” He went on to say that if these kind of policies continue, the United States will be at risk in more ways than we can possibly understand.

DUM DUM DA!!!

I don't mean to make light of something as serious as our national security but I'm sorry.....I laughed my fucking ass off when I read this. He sounds like a character from a cartoon for crying out loud. And highly simplistic and child like one at that. Thank God this fucker isn't in charge of anything anymore and we can finally get down to the business of stopping these guys.

Someone needs to ask the former vice president if he is so concerned about Al Qaeda, why are Osama bin Laden and Ayman El Zawahari, the men responsible for 9-11, still at large after SEVEN AND A HALF FUCKING YEARS! Why did he insist on invading Iraq and allow Al Qaeda to reconstitute itself as it has been fully proven in this NIE report. In fact, Dick should review this blog post and come back to reality.

As for the rest of us, in light of Dick's outburst, why don't we review what appeal to fear means.

Siimply Wonderful

So, where does my guy go when needs to "get out of the White House" for awhile?

A school, natch. It's so refreshing to have a president that relaxes by hanging out a school...the place where the future begins.

And anything can be fixed:)

Liberal Media Watch

There has been an awful lot of talk on all the major news networks regarding President Obama's cabinet picks and their failure to pay taxes. Actually, it's been wall to wall coverage and every day, it seems, a new appointee has come out with yet another sob story about "honest mistakes."

Hmm...what I am missing here?

I thought that the media was all liberally and soft and shit on Obama. Could it be that (gasp!) the media is actually more interested in ratings and profit than political leanings?

Nah, can't be.

The Most Liberal Agenda?

Conservatives have been trying since inauguration day to paint President Obama as pursuing the most liberal agenda in modern history. At first it just seemed silly what with our new president keeping on Robert Gates, appointing life long Republican James Jones to be National Security Advisor, and appointing Ray LaHood to be Secretary of Transportation.

Today, it will sound absolutely ludicrous.

In about an hour, President Obama will appoint Judd Gregg, yet another Republican, to be Commerce Secretary and serve in his cabinet. Gregg is a fiscal conservative and staunchly pro life. The American Conservative Union, which is THE congressional ratings association for Republicans, gives him a lifetime rating of 78 percent.

Now, how can our president be pursuing the most liberal agenda in our country's history and still have people like this on his team? Is it because, unlike my esteemed colleagues on the right, that my guy actually likes to listen to (gasp!) alternative viewpoints?

A Quick Goodbye Please

Alright, I know I am biased but Tom Daschle should withdraw his nomination for Secretary of Health and Human Services. Geithner I can forgive because he has talents and skills we sorely need right now but Daschle does not have any such skills. In fact, I always cringed whenever he was on TV stumping for Obama. Why my guy made him the co-chair for his election is still a head scratcher for me.

Tom Daschle represents so many things that I loathe about the Democratic Party that I am hoping and praying that he goes away soon to a life of quiet rumination.

Show Me A Child

In his first ever interview on Arab TV (in an interview with Dubai based Al-Arabiya), President Obama told the Muslim world that the United States is not their enemy. He proposed immediate engagement with various Muslim leaders as well as a pledge to speak from a Muslim capital within his first 100 days. The balls on him...:)

The best bit though was when the interviewer asked about Al Qaeda and how they seemed nervous about the Obama era. Our new president responded by saying

They are nervous. They are nervous because they are going to see a changed America on my watch. No longer will they have a devil to point at and the world will see their ideas for what they are..completely bankrupt. Show me a child that Al Qaeda has helped during the last eight years. The only way they understand is violence.

My guy hits one out of the park...all the way past Waveland.

His First Mistake

President Obama, in a meeting with Congressional lawmakers on Friday, said to the Republican representatives "you can't just listen to Rush Limbaugh and get things done." While he was stating the obvious, he made a critical error.

By mentioning Limbaugh in a meeting regarding the stimulus package, our new president has now empowered him and elevated him to the status of having a seat at the table. Rush Limbaugh should have no such fucking seat at the table when it comes to anything related to the direction of our country. He is an entertainer and lacks, in just about every way, the intellectual and moral strength that it takes to run this country. Or any country for that matter.

Now, someone like myself (a fourth rate blogger who only has about 200 readers as opposed to Rush's 13.7 million listeners) can mention Rush and get away with it as it usually makes my page loads go up. The fact that President Obama lowered himself by mentioning Rush's name nauseates me. Rush's ideas regarding where this country should go are akin to a 5th grader who is on an eternal temper tantrum...never admitting fault...never shutting up....never, EVER being wrong.

I knew he'd make mistakes, and I think the economic stimulus is going to hold a big one for him, but I didn't think he would ever make a dumb one like this so early. Ah well, he is only human:)

Oh....no.

From rld in comments earlier this week

you are going to be in the same boat as Jon Stewart and Olberman, as in what are they going to talk about now?

Well....

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Changefest '09 - Obama's Inaugural Speech

Barack Obama Interview
John McCain Interview

Sarah Palin Video
Funny Election Video

Oh...no. That's going to leave a mark:)

"I Hope He Fails"

These were the four words uttered by Rush Limbaugh on his radio program yesterday in regards to Obama's economic plans.

Setting aside the fact for just a moment that if President Obama does fail that will mean a worse economic situation than we have now, I think Rush is beginning to sound desperate. Odd, because he still gets around a 5 share which, in radio lingo, is pretty amazing in ratings . Obama HAS to fail because if he doesn't or even if he is marginally successful it proves that Rush and other conservatives are wrong (see: End Times).

It is absolutely unconscionable that Rush Limbaugh, in this truly challenging and uncertain time, wants the president of the United States to fail. Doesn't he have even the slightest sensitivity for the people in this country that are hurting right now? If he is the patriot he claims to be, he will set aside his own hubris and attempt to be helpful.

Think he'll do it?

Um...wow...

Well, I guess he didn't waste any time did he?

This is only a small clip of the whole speech which I heard on NPR today. If I find the full speech, I'll put it up. White House wages are being frozen, a stern reminder was handed out that government serves the people not the other way around, and then there was this secrecy thing...

Someone needs to check to see if mother (Dick Cheney) needs help going to the toilet today:)

44 is in the House!

Today

Today...means so much when you consider Tomorrow..

Happy Birthday, Dr. King!

The End and The Beginning

On Tuesday, Barack Hussein Obama will take the oath of office and become our nation's 44th President. I have to admit I am still in a state of disbelief.

If you would have asked me one year ago that the man I wanted to be president more than just about anyone else on the political scene was actually going to win, I would've told you that you were nuts. In fact, I probably would've chalked the whole idea up to a pipe dream. There is no way that a country that elected George W. Bush twice would vote for a man like Barack Obama. The last eight years have produced an America that is a three headed monster...a monster that would never elect a man like our next president. It's just not possible, is it?

Before we take a look at how it happened let's take a look at what we have become in the last eight years. What are the three heads...exactly?

1. Hate. For all of our talk of loving thy neighbor, we sure have done an awful lot of hating in this country. Turn on any right wing radio dick and you will hear what I am talking about. They will tell you of the traitors in this country that continually plot to ruin our way of life. These traitors are...well...our next president and anyone else that supports him. They are the media. They are the teachers. They are you and they are I.

Of course, the irony is that they will also tell you that it is the LEFT that is full of hate but I think we can all see, after their convention in my home state of Minnesota, that they should take a look in the fucking mirror. There is no doubt that there is hate on the left. It's just not as prevalent and well organized as it is in the current incarnation of the Republican Party. Even President Bush is appalled by it which is ironic because he helped to create it.

2. Fear. The right does a great job with this one. My eight year old daughter has been told by fellow classmates, whose parents are conservative, that Barack Obama, after he becomes president, is going to give guns to babies so they can kill each other thus leading to infant genocide. I suppose it's possible that something was lost in the translation but I think you get my point.

Bush, Rove, Cheney and minions have been extremely successful in making many people in this country so hysterical with fear that they truly believe that Barack Obama is going to destroy them. Their propaganda has been so effective that I have had people tell me that I "best purchase" a gun to fight off the liberals that are going to take my family away from me and put them in camps. Three people told me this. I am not fucking kidding. And I thought the "liberals are fascists" argument was loony. The cheese is just flying off the cracker now.

3. Ignorance. This one is key. Destroy the credibility of the media and education (e.g. all commie liberal traitors), and you can get #1 and #2 with ease. An ignorant population is easier to control. If twenty percent of this country believe that the media and public education are doling out biased information, where are they going to turn? Either to the Republican Party's various information outlets or nowhere. More than likely it's the latter.

It's not just enough to get people to tune out or follow the party line. They have to be happy about it. Somewhere along the line it became cool to be a fucking moron. We like smart doctors, elite athletes, and business savvy CEOs but when it comes to our government-specifically our president-we want someone with whom we can have beer. Being smart is the absolute last thing many of us seem to want in president. I offer as evidence of this Governor Sarah Palin who has broad support amongst many conservatives.

So, folks on the right have done a great job of crafting this three headed monster in order to essentially gut this country as the mob would bust a joint out that it has taken over. Take a look around you. Know anyone that has lost a job recently? I bet you do. Where did all the money go? It's pretty obvious...the people who are on their way out the door. And funny thing...they don't really care. They got what they wanted from a bunch of hateful, fearful, and ignorant people who STILL believe in them. I have a friend who works in the mortgage industry who is just about destitute and will not, under any circumstances, admit any fault on the part of any conservative. It's all Barney Frank's fault!

So, how is it possible that through all of this we elected a man like Barack Obama? There's the crappy economy, the failed policies in the Middle East, and the shit stained image of the United States in the world...all things that I'm sure helped contribute to the victory. I say it's something else.

When Barack Obama takes the oath of office on Tuesday morning, it will be because the good guys are finally starting to win. I want to be very VERY clear about this. The good guys are not just Democrats. They are Republicans and even far right conservatives. They are independents, socialists, communists, constitutionalists and everyone in between. The good guys are people exactly like our next president...people who have an infinite supply of intellectual and moral strength. People who are going to show those who have succumbed to the three headed monster the true meaning of patriotism.

And there were just enough of them to win an election.

Under The Weather

Hey folks, sorry it has been so long since the last post. School has been busy and my whole family got socked with the stomach flu.

Inauguration next week...the day after Dr. King's birthday...

Now That's What I Call A Bail Out!

Sometimes I wake up in the morning, read the news, and wonder what country I am living in. It seems that one of the many industries...pardon me while I stop for a moment to laugh my fucking ass off...that wants a bail out from the US government is.....THE PORN INDUSTRY.

Larry Flynt, of Hustler fame, and CEO of Girls Gone Wild Joe Francis are going to ask Congress for $5 billion to help them through these tough times. Spokesman for Flynt, Owen Moogan, says, "The porn industry has been hurt by the downturn like everyone else and they are going to ask for the $5 billion. Is it the most serious thing in the world? Is it going to make the lives of Americans better if it happens? It is not for them to determine.”

Most of you know that I do take my porn seriously but folks, c'mon, this is completely ludicrous. I know it's sad that people aren't spending as much money at lovemyass.com as they should be but aren't there more important things to be dealing with now?

Hmm...

A report is out that Vice President Dick Cheney has admitted to FBI investigators that he altered certain talking points to the press so Valarie Plame's name would come to light. Murray Waas is the reporter that somehow got access to the document, still highly classified, and wrote about what he saw.

Waas, you may recall, is an investigative journalist who helped break the Iran-Contra scandal. He has been a finalist for the Pulitzer Prize and has won the Goldsmith Prize for Investigative Reporting, awarded by the Joan Shorenstein Barone Center on The Press. So the guy is no hack.

I'm going to wait until the report comes out before I completely believe Mr. Waas. I suspect it won't be out until later this year. If it is true, will we have enough balls to put Cheney in jail?

Happy New Year!

Thank the Lord that 2009 is here. There were some pretty rotten things that happened in 2008 in this country. The inauguration is less than three weeks away. Yea!

I wonder what is going to happen this year....

Best New Year's Present

Well, I got a nice end of the year gift with some great news. One of my all time favorite bands is getting back together...BLUR!!

That's right....Damon and Graham have buried the hatchet. They are going to rehearse in early 2009 and "see what happens." They scheduled a gig for Hyde Park in July that sold out in 2 minutes! So they added another one the day before. They have promise more tour dates (in America!) and possibly a new album.

Happy New Year!
I am a very happy man:)

BEST OF 2008

What a year. I have to say that when it comes to entertainment, 2008 was really mega. I saw many great bands, some really fantastic films, and a few really groovy TV shows. So, the following is a list of those artistic endeavors that really stood out in my mind in each of aforementioned categories. If you have any you would like to share please do so in comments at the end of this column. I would welcome them.

Without further adieu, here is my list...

BEST CD

A Tortured and Wonderful Howl From the Heart
In April of 2006, Billy Lunn, guitarist, singer, and songwriter for the Welwyn Garden City, Hertforshire, England trio The Subways, was diagnosed with nodules on his vocal chords. They canceled several appearances in support of their wonderful first album Young For Eternity, including one that I had tickets for here in Minneapolis. Doctors said that years of intense screaming during his songs may have damaged his voice permanently and it was entirely possible that he would never be able to sing again. His scream, in many ways, is one of the best in the history of rock and roll. It epitomizes that Janovian wail that only true disciples of the medium can capture and convey. An excellent example of its supremacy can be heard in the song "Rock & Roll Queen", from Young For Eternity, a high-octane, balls-to-labia shag tune that is a must for any playlist. Shortly after the diagnosis, Lunn and his girlfriend (and bass player in the band), Charlotte Cooper, broke up. The question of whether the band would even continue weighed pretty heavily on the trio. With the future of the group in doubt, Billy started writing.

And what we wrote has become the album of 2008: All Or Nothing.

In fact, it may be the album of the decade and is, without a doubt, in my top 25 records of all time. To borrow from the late Heath Ledger from Brokeback Mountain, I can’t quit this album. It is absolutely infectious on just about every level. As I listened to it the first few times, I could smell the beer, the smoke (if not illegal in your city), the vodka-Red Bulls, the sweat, the women, and the absolute human glory that is the CLUB. Every time I listen to it I get the urge to be body passed in a slimy, hoard of humanity…my Chucks flailing uncontrollably…as I revel in the majestic splendor of the pit. Clearly, Billy's voice got all better:)

Much of this feeling is due to the stellar production work of Butch Vig (of Garbage and Nirvana fame), and one really gets the sense that this is the next logical progression from Nevermind… Brit-Style. The first four songs are like Ali’s fucking fist (”Girls and Boys”, “Kalifornia”, “Alright”, and “Shake Shake”), pummeling you with such might that you are immediately brought to your knees in gratitude for hearing such great music. The next track, “Move to Newlyn”, is a wonderful travelogue that brings you on a journey of self discovery around the United Kingdom. We get back into the power with the title track, “I Won’t Let You Down” (his scream at the end…OMG!), “Turnaround”, and “Obsession”, the latter of which has a terribly haunting harmony vocal by Charlotte.

Then we get to the track of the album: “Strawberry Blonde”. To say that this song is gorgeous is the understatement of… history. It is three levels above gorgeous and there hasn’t been a word yet invented to define the truth and beauty of this instant top ten love song. I will say, like any great song, it reaches into my heart, pulls out a jumble of words, and puts them together to describe exactly how I feel. The album finishes with “Always Tomorrow” and “Lost Boy”, another shovel-to-the-head stunner of a track.

I have listened to this CD pretty much every day since I bought it last summer and still have not grown tired of it. You won’t either. No one will.

Because Billy approaches life like I do…fucking mega or fuck you…All or Nothing….and it is magnificent. Thank God.

BEST TRACK

From the moment I heard the opening seconds of it, I knew it was the song of the year. I also knew that there was a reason why I liked it but I couldn't figure out why. Then when I visited the Essex band Magistrates' web site and saw that their favorite two bands were Prince and The Talking Heads, I realized why I instantly fell in love with "Make This Work." Talk about a combination! I adore the Talking Heads and my hometown boy? Let's just say that Prince's super funk charged and deliciously dripping with sexuality music has made me a happy lover throughout the years...

Looking at it from this perspective, "Make This Work" is a fucking gorgeous gem that makes you believe that all romance and all love are possible in spite of the simple fact that most people are dicks. In all honesty, the hope of this song is something I really need right now and so should you!

BEST FILM

It is a rare thing when a film changes your life. My pick for 2008 Best Film changed certainly changed two lives as well as my own. Woody Allen's Vicky Christina Barcelona is an emotional gut wrencher in the most positive way you can imagine. The film reached into my heart, tore it open, and laid it bare for the whole world to see. Life, as the film states repeatedly, is lonely, dark, and often boring. This is why everyone needs to seize whatever moments of passion they can...regardless of how crazy it makes you...and cast aside conventional wisdom, and sometimes even emotional balance, to get to THAT place. For those of you who have been there, you know what I am talking about...:)

The story revolves around two women who visit Barcelona for the summer and how they each come to view romance, love, and passion through the events that unfold over the course of the narrative. What makes Allen's film so interesting is that it is not just about these two women. Every character in the film...even minor ones with only a few lines...convey very specific and wonderful ideas about the human condition as it relates to the female-male relationship. I found bits and pieces of myself in EVERY character in the film which lead to an enormous amount of self reflection after each viewing. I have seen the film three times and each time its impact on me grew, driving me to ask an amazingly intense question of my friends and of myself:

When faced with the choice of the comfort of boredom or the insanity of lust...which would you choose?

BEST TV SHOW

For the second year in a row, Mad Men is the best show on television. Honestly, I didn't think it was possible given how amazing the first season was. The second season was an absolute stunner. It picks up a little under two years after the end of the first season...the height of Kennedy era cool, which basically means I just jizzed in my pants.

So, Jack is president and women are either looked at as a Marilyn or a Jackie. Mega! Every episode was fucking incredible (mainly due to my girl, Christina Hendricks (left) and her amazing hips!) but the most interesting one was "The Jet Set" in which our hero, Don Draper, goes off the map on a David Lynchian experience in the wilds of California.

If you aren't watching this show, there is something seriously wrong with you and you need to get the first season on DVD immediately. The second season will be out in the first quarter of next year. If you do watch the show, can someone please tell me what the fuck Pete Campbell was doing with the shotgun at the end of the show?

Those are my picks for the year. What are yours? Leave comments below...

The Situation In Gaza

Before I put up my Best of 2008, I thought it more appropriate to address the situation in Gaza.

When Israel pulled out of Gaza, I lauded the move and was roundly chastised by several conservatives for being "weak" on terror. I predicted that some time would pass, Israel would lose patience, and then attack them as one sovereign country would attack another.

For those of you who don't know, the Israeli military has decided to end the mortar attacks from Hamas once and for all. They have been pounding Gaza for the last three days and well over 300 people in the Hamas stronghold have been killed.

While I find this loss of life to be terribly sad, I think the amount of restraint Israel has shown has been remarkable. Most of you who know me know that I am a staunch supporter of Israel so this opinion will not come as any surprise. Hamas has two central goals in mind in their operations: abuse their own people by ripping them off financially and killing Jews. It's just that simple. When they broke with Abbas and the real Palestinian governing body, they basically made their bed. It's sad that innocents in the Gaza Strip have to suffer as a result but I don't see that they have any other recourse.

As a holocast survivor once said, "When someone says they want to kill you, believe them."

Merrry Christmas

To all of you who read Notes From The Front, I wish you and your family a very Happy Christmas. Thank you for being such loyal and devoted readers.

Hee Hee....what? Really?

I was flipping around the news channels the other day and I caught a little of Bill O'Reilly. He was talking about the War on Christmas. At first, I thought it might be an old tape or a nostalgia bit but no...oh no...it was live and this year. It was the usual rant about liberals hating Jesus, wanting to outlaw Santa, and force people into celebrating Kwansa at gunpoint. In other words, it was the classic "They's a comin'" bit.

Apparently, O'Reilly and other conservatives have not gotten the message that our country has much bigger problems to deal with than how people greet each other at the holidays. General Powell was correct. It's time for the right to decide if they want to continue to yell and be divisive (i.e. lose election after election) or if they want to showcase their message, several items of which would have an appeal to a great number of Americans, in a more positive way.

I wonder what they will decide?

Holiday Grab Bag

It's been way too long since I did a Grab Bag. To be honest, since my guy won the election I haven't really felt the urge to be mean. Sure, I have noticed things that have driven me up a mother fucking tree but any such annoyances are quickly washed away by uttering the magic three words:

President Elect Obama.

But, as luck would have it, the last couple of weeks have been extra special bowls of Campbell Soup so I think I now have just the right combination of venom, irritation, and semen to revisit some of the things that have really pissed me recently. Happy Christmas!

THE J WORD

A friend of mine and I were walking through the Eden Prairie Mall recently and having a conversation. We passed by a mother and two kids, roughly around 9 and 7.

Friend: I can't stand that guy.
Mark: Yeah, he's a real jerk.
9 Year Old: Gasp! Mommy, he said the J word!
Mommy: Just move away quickly from that serial rapist/murderer, son. Get away! GET AWAY! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!

As they scurried away in apparent fear, I wondered to my friend if the J word really meant the word jerk. "Beats me," he replied. I passed the whole thing off as me misreading things...as I often do:)

About a week later, I was at the Big 10-a restaurant here in Minneapolis. There was a family of five eating dinner and I was by myself-grabbing one of their great subs while studying. One of the kids said that he heard another kid at school use the J word. The dad told his son that the kid who uttered that word would be thrown into a boiling pit of sewage for eternal damnation. The smallest of the three kids asked quite loudly, "What's the J word?" To which the mother whispered, loud enough so I could hear, "Jerk. And don't you ever use that word or call anyone that. Keep your voice down."

Being the person that you all know and love, I turned to them and asked, "Since when is the word 'jerk' such a bad word?"

The parents looked at me as if I had just asked their children to videotape their mom swallowing one of their Dad's bowel movements (coming directly out of his butt and into her mouth) while I fucked her in the ass.

After they recovered from their astonishment, they replied, "The J Word is the meanest word in the world. It is a terrible, awful word that no one should ever EVER use. Please leave us alone."

I turned back to my homework, not dignifying them with a response and shaking my head at the sad fucking state our society has become. Now, I know for sure that there are plenty of you who laughed your asses off at what I wrote two paragraphs above this one. To be certain, there is one woman in Aurora, Illinois who just peed her pants. But there are probably many of you out there who were massively offended at what I wrote. By our society's standards, it was, in fact, offensive. I have no problem with that.

But....the J word? Really?

Have we become so vanilla, so PC, so terribly lame that we can't even call someone a jerk anymore? The word is universally accepted everywhere...even in G rated movies or films from the 1940s for cripes sakes....as being alright to call someone who cuts in front of you in line. Or steals a kid's ice cream cone. Or who won't use the butt crack to wipe it off before it goes back up into her mouth. Or who laughs at you when you are trying to push your car out of the snow.

Well, maybe the third one on the above list is more a common courtesy issue than jerk behavior but you get my point. I am so sick of this culture and its completely ridiculous and massively uptight rules about language. I feel like I am being shackled and thrown into an ever shrinking prison cell of what is acceptable discourse and I fucking hate it. Words can be made into anything they want. Say the word 'fuck' enough and it loses its appeal. I use it all the time and I don't have a single thought about it. It's just a word and it can mean anything you want it to mean.

Take, for example, the word 'chair.' In a recent discussion with an abnormally uptight individual who gets his jollies heaping and piling more restrictions on language, I told him that every time I said the word chair, I thought of a giant cock going into a big fat chick's ass. I then proceeded to say the word chair seventeen times over the course of the next two minutes. He became flabbergasted and cried, "I'll never use the word chair again" to which I replied,

"See? Now you know how I feel."

MEN THAT WON'T DO WHAT?

A couple of summers ago, I fixed up a female friend of mine (very hot) with a male friend of mine. About a month and a half into the relationship, she called me up and said, "What the fuck is up with your boy?" I asked her what she meant. "He won't fuck me." She then continued to tell me that he just liked to cuddle and kiss.

Now, normally I have no problem with this...some people like to wait. He just didn't seem the type, though, and when I asked him if he liked my friend and thought she was hot, he said, "Oh, yeah." Okkkkkaaaayyy....

Bit by bit over the course of the last two years, I have had woman after woman complain to me that their boyfriends/husbands/dates don't fuck them. Some go weeks...months...even YEARS without having their man make love to them. Excuse me?

In fact, it has gotten to be so many women (at least a couple dozen), that I'd like to know if I have slipped into an alternate universe...a universe where men are fucking lame. It goes without saying that women have traditionally been the ones to withhold sex. The fact that it continues is a bummer but a sadly universally accepted truth. But men? As I heard story after story, the rage inside of me began to build.

What the fuck is the matter with these d bags!!!???

Perhaps it is for religious reasons although none of the men I have met who have this problem strike me as church goers.

Perhaps they are gay and don't know it. Fine. Go suck some cock and stop wasting your time fucking with hot chick's minds.

Or perhaps (and very likely) it has to do with video games, the easy chair, the flat screen, fantasy football, Mountain Dew, Coors Light and mother fucking Cheetos. Men are just flat out lazy and have gotten use to a lifestyle that requires minimal or no effort. There seems to be no set age range in this group of twats. I have had woman complain about these men in their 20s, 30s, and even 40s. I have talked to some of these men and they offer many excuses.

"I'm just tired. It's too much effort."
"I really need a nap when I get home from work and then after that I am just shot."
"I just got a new video game."
"My fantasy football league had a late meeting and I ate too many cheese sticks."
"I'm hungry."
"Waaaah."

Believe it or not, this barely scratches the surface of the problem. There is also a group of men, mainly ages 19-29, who refuse to eat pussy. I know...I know...please calm down. You might have to be calm for me because right after I wrote the second sentence of this paragraph I wanted to go out to the garage and get my shovel for an Albert Pujols swing right to the forehead of these suckditches.

Apparently, they just think it's gross or have a general principle (largely generated by social pressure) not to do it. To say that this offends me as man, as a lover, as a devotee of chowing box is the understatement of the fucking millennium. If you don't eat pussy, you are a suckwad. If you don't take care of your woman, you are a complete loser.

Dude, it's a chick's ass and vag...is there anything hotter?

If anyone has any other ideas as to why this disturbing new trend of men being mega lame is occurring, please post them in comments because, even with the ideas listed above, I still don't fucking get it.

WHEELS ON BACKPACKS

I was at the gym the other day and I saw a woman wheeling her tennis bag behind her. In her small bag was....one tennis racket...and as far as I could see that was it. Now I suppose it is slightly possible that she had a 20 pound weight in there but really the bag was so small (it looked like a child's bag) that I'm sure she just had some tennis balls maybe and some personal items.

At my children's school, I see kids with backpacks that have wheels on them. Sure, some might have heavy books but (cue grumpy old man voice) when I was a kid, we carried our heavy backpacks on our back. Have we become so lazy in this culture that we now have to wheel minimally weighted bags around like it's a 50 pound suitcase packed for a week long trip to Hawaii?

The answer is yes....yes we have.

And people wonder why America is falling behind in the world.

VISORS

Look at this geek. Is there a way to gather all of the visors in the world and burn them? Visors are fucking stupid. About the only group of people that can pull of visors are women, especially the ones with long hair.

Men of any shape or size should not be wearing a visor. The fat bald ones who wear them look like morons. Bottom line (re: George Carlin): it's half a hat. Take it back to the store, say you were ripped off, and buy a real fucking baseball cap.

Dorkwad.


LANYARDS

I guess the new millennial look for 17-21 year old women is in and it is this: T Shirt (preferably athletic themed), men's athletic shorts (preferably knee length), sandals (even in winter), hair tied up, and a fucking stupid ass lanyard around their necks with their keys, ID, iPod, birth control, lipstick, and whatever else they can fit on their because they don't have any pockets in their shorts and don't want to carry a purse so they can look all tricked out with that 'just come from the gym or pool' look.

There was a period of time a few months back when, quite literally, every young woman I met looked exactly like this. It was as if they had been churned out in a factory....manufactured by the thousands. Whatever happened to originality? It was murdered...killed by the lanyard!

And finally, for those of you who have commented to me in the past (via email, comments, phone calls, or personal contact) that I need to be more positive...have no fear! I may be extra curmudgeonly of late but I still plan on putting up my annual Best of 2008 before the end of the year.

Stay Tuned!

Will Everyone Please Calm Down?

Taking a break from politics and turning to sports, people in my home state are once again making the mistake of thinking the Vikings are going to go somewhere in the playoffs. Yes, I know they need one win or one Bears loss and they win the division but let's not break out the big ass drum of boiling oil and have ourselves a clam bake yet.

Only true Vikings fans know (as nearly as long suffering as Cubs fans), they are going to take a dump in these last few weeks. If it's not in the regular season, it will be in the first round of playoffs. So, please, stop with the over hyper predictions of Brad "Denny's Menu" Childress taking this team to the Super Bowl and winning.

It is not going to happen.

My Guy

He's done it again.

President Elect Barack Obama has once again shown what this country is going to start looking like during his presidency. By selecting evangelical Rick Warren to deliver the invocation at his inauguration, our soon to be president has shown that we are not all divided and that many of us, regardless of our political stripes, share common beliefs.

While the left squawks (and man oh man are they squawking-hilarious:)) about Warren's anti gay and pro life beliefs, a more reasoned mind can look at Pastor Warren's beliefs and action regarding world poverty and social injustice. He believes, as I do, that it is every Christian's duty to fight against these two things and make whatever sacrifices are possible to end them.

I also think that Pastor Warren really challenged PE Obama's way of thinking on several issues when he was at the Saddleback debate last summer. If you look at PE Obama's life, these are the kind of people that he has surrounded himself with...people with diverse points of view who will take him to the mat and help him learn and grow. I'm sure Mr. Obama, being the reflective man that he is, realized how unimpressive he was in that discussion last summer and felt that Pastor Warren is someone from whom he could learn.

And it is a great move politically. Evangelicals, some of which believed the paranoid and delusional propaganda that has come out about PE Obama over the last 2 years, can now look at him in a different light. Maybe he's not a terrorist-Muslim-communist-pinko-socialist-baby killer-ultra left wing maniac as we have been lead to believe.

As I have said previously and ad naseaum, Barack Obama is going to piss off the left more than he is the right. So far he is right on track to do that.

That's my guy!

Liberal Media Watch

For being "puppets" of Barack Obama, MSNBC and the New York Times sure have a funny way of showing it. Both have been beating the Governor Blagojovich story into the ground even going as far as teaming up by interviewing each other on what could actually be in the "secret" documents that are going to be released next week regarding the ongoing investigation.

In fact, several anchors on MSNBC as well as reporters for the Times have said that President Elect Obama is answering questions in a manner similar to President Bush. Whether or not you agree that is true, it is kind of a head scratcher considering what the "all media are agin' us" crowd on the right are saying about both of these news organizations.

Ah, well...best not think about it too much. It's been a hard few weeks for some folks on the right and we all know how they need to have their enemies...even if they are, in no way, real.

White Folk Are All A-Feared (cuz he's a comin')

Earlier this week, the Star Tribune ran an article regarding how gun sales have picked up since Barack Obama was elected president. I have tried, very hard, all week to write a column about this but every time I start typing, I start laughing. In fact, I laugh so uncontrollably that my hands and fingers fly around my office, gripping my stomach in the pain of losing oxygen, and I nearly pass out!

After I calm down, one word pops immediately into my head which accurately describes the people that are rushing out to buy weaponry.

SUCKERS.

The NRA and other gun lobbyists are clearly exaggerating Obama's anti gun stance to make more money. And they have a whole line of chuckleheads that are willing to believe anything they say. As Sue Fust puts it in the article:

The anti-Obama vitriol has been a fear-mongering tactic that encourages some very fringe folks who are paranoid and convinced that the United States government will really need to be overthrown one day by citizens with guns. This helps to sell firearms. It is therefore important for those selling guns who want to make money to either try to create new markets or increase sales to existing gun owners.

No shit. I guess Obama's line about clinging to guns and religion may have been more astute than originally thought. Thankfully, not all gun owners are are losing their marbles.

Considering all the problems the country faces, "you have to wonder how high a priority [guns] will be," Joel Rosenberg (local gun enthusiast) said. "It's going to cost millions of dollars" to institute new gun laws, "and how much political capital is he willing to spend right away? I'm telling people who ask, 'Don't do anything you wouldn't do anyway,'" he said. "If you were already thinking of getting a carry permit or ... a semiautomatic, well, maybe go ahead and do it."

No shit. And thank you, Joel for being sane.

Intelligent Minds Think Alike

Check out this video from CNN's web site.

Note to Rush: Buh Bye....

And isn't all of it exactly what I have been saying for the last....um...forever?

Check Out This Blog

My friend, Melissa Lynn, has started her own blog. She writes some pretty intense and wonderful prose.

Click here to check it out. Leave comments as she would much appreciate it!

Freddie Did What?

Remember all that talk in psycho conservative land about how Freddie Mac was all fucked up because the government was running the show? Well, it turns out (as it often does) that was all a big, steamy pile of shit.

In records obtained by the Associated Press, Freddie Mac fended off regulation by (gasp!) paying off a bunch of people in Washington to keep the government off their backs. Internal Freddie Mac budget records show $11.7 million was paid to 52 outside lobbyists and consultants in 2006. Power brokers such as former House Speaker Newt Gingrich were recruited with six-figure contracts. Freddie Mac paid the following amounts to the firms of former Republican lawmakers or ex-GOP staffers in 2006:

-Sen. Alfonse D'Amato of New York, at Park Strategies, $240,000.

-Rep. Vin Weber of Minnesota, at Clark & Weinstock, $360,297.

-Rep. Susan Molinari of New York, at Washington Group, $300,062.

-Susan Hirschmann at Williams & Jensen, former chief of staff to House Majority Leader Tom DeLay, R-Texas, $240,790.

The tactics worked - for a time. Freddie Mac was able to operate with a relatively free hand until the housing bubble ultimately burst in 2007. The internal Freddie Mac documents also show that 17 of the lobbying firms and consultants paid in 2006 were specifically directed to focus on Republicans and four on Democrats, with varying targets for the rest.

So, can someone...some conservative someone who has been bemoaning too much government interference as the cause of all our financial woes...explain to me how less regulation is the answer when it seems like less regulation was the intent and goal that got us into trouble in the first place?

Retribution

On February 25, 2003, General Eric Ken Shinsecki testified before the Senate Armed Services Committee regarding the invasion of Iraq. When asked about the size of force required, he responded

I would say that what's been mobilized to this point -- something on the order of several hundred thousand soldiers are probably, you know, a figure that would be required. We're talking about post hostilities control over a piece of geography that's fairly significant, with the kinds of ethnic tensions that could lead to other problems. And so it takes a significant ground-force presence.

Shortly afterward, then SecDef Donald Rumsfeld and Deputy Sec Paul Wolfowitz called Shinsecki's estimate "far off the mark" and "wildly off the mark" repsectively. Wolfowitz went on to say that it was "hard to believe" that more troops, than the 150,000 that he and Rumsfeld recommended, would be required to stabilize Iraq.

Five years later....Rumsfeld was asked to resign after the 2006 elections, Wolfowitz resigned in disgrace as President of the World Bank, and General Eric Ken Shinsecki is President Elect Barack Obama's pick to be Secretary of Veteran's Affairs.

It just keeps getting better and better, doesn't it?

This Just In: Hell Frozen Over

Earlier this week, my staunch conservative and evangelical friend at the gym walked over to me and said the following:

"I'm happy to be wrong."

For a moment I thought I was in a parallel universe in which men flew, cars ran on garbage, and commenters on Kevin Baker's blog were rational. I asked him what he meant and what exactly he was wrong about. He went on to tell me how happy he was that President Elect Barack Obama picked James Jones to be National Security Adviser. He repeated how wrong he was about Obama being "soft" on military issues and even went as far to say that it was a better pick than Condeleeza Rice. Wow!

It does my heart proud to see this type of reflection coming from someone who I thought incapable of looking inward. It gives me...hope:)

Send in the Marines...Finally!

As I have told many of my conservative friends over the last few months, President Elect Obama is no softie when it comes to the security of this nation. In fact, I think there are going to be many ways in which he will be tougher (and clearly smarter) than President Bush when it comes to taking out Al Qaeda.

I realize this goes against all of the right wing propaganda out there about Barack Obama, surely eliciting the usual EEP! BLURP! QUARK! from some brainwashed minds, but with the nomination of former Marine Commandant James Jones (to the right of President Elect Obama and Senator Clinton in the photo) to be National Security Advisor, it is now a fact that our next president is determined to take out those who would use terror as a weapon.

In addition to being a 40 year Marine veteran, Jones has served as Supreme Allied Commander of NATO and as Special Envoy to the Middle East. He also acted as key advisor to President Bush early in his first administration. Jones is a Republican and has been described by many as a "warrior-diplomat." That is exactly what we need right now...someone who has the intellect to defeat the enemy in addition to being a blunt instrument, which is what ALL marines are.

This pick sends a message to Al Qaeda in Pakistan: Your days are numbered. With the head of the marines (and PE Obama) calling for months for a troop redeployment to Afghanistan, I think we can safely predict a major strategy shift in that part of the world. Factor in the recent attacks in India and there is no doubt in my mind that our future president is going to be pretty darned hawkish in the region.

With his plate full of economic woes, the pick of Jones, the continuance of Gates tenure as SecDef, and the choice of Hillary Clinton as Secretary of State, President Elect Obama has a team in place rife with experience and knowledge. He can spend more of his time trying to get our financial difficulties straightened out and rest easy knowing that the marines are on the job.

It's about fucking time.