Showing posts with label Hermain Cain. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hermain Cain. Show all posts

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Hermanizer, Hermanizer, You're a Hermanizer

Political campaigns often adopt popular songs as their anthems. Earlier this year Michele Bachmann played "American Girl" at rallies until Tom Petty got his panties in a bunch. Petty also went after George W. Bush for playing "I Won't Back Down." Bush backed down and stopped playing the song.

In 2008 John McCain angered John Mellencamp, Van Halen and Jackson Browne for playing their songs at rallies, in part because the McCain campaign wasn't paying ASCAP fees to the artists.

Not long ago Jimmy Fallon raised a ruckus for playing the song "Lyin' Ass Bitch" when Michele Bachmann appeared on his show. NBC forced Fallon to apologize, but if you look at Michele Bachmann's long, long record of outrageously incorrect statements of fact, it's obvious that Fallon's choice was dead on.

Herman Cain got into the act by playing the song "I Am America" at his rallies. Cain, however, got permission from the singer, Krista Branch. The song is as jingoistic as you'd expect from the title, but also has some very creepy lines: "I've got some news; we're taking names, We're waiting now for the judgment day."

Cain, who loved to call himself the Hermanator before he became enamored with Black Walnut and being the flavor of the month, is now "reassessing" his campaign, according to an article in the National Review.

Why? A woman named Ginger White says that she carried on a thirteen-year affair with Cain, that he paid for her to fly to cities around the country, lent her money, and called her frequently for years. As proof of the affair she showed reporters her phone bills, which showed that he called and texted her frequently. She even gave reporters Cain's number, and Cain himself called them back.

Cain says he's just friends with White, but -- and Cain has admitted this -- how many men give money to other women without telling their wives about it? Unless they're having an affair? At this point, it seems more and more likely that Herman Cain really has done all the things the things the half-dozen woman have claimed he has. Since White claims that Cain bought her many plane tickets to cities coinciding with his appearances, a thorough investigation of his credit card and travel records will reveal the truth in short order.

So, I think it would be fitting for Herman Cain to adopt a new theme song to play at his appearances for the remaining few days of his campaign. One would be tempted to just take Britney Spears' "Womanizer" and use it as is.

But that's not the Hermanator way. The Black Walnut should hire Weird Al Yankovic to write a parody of "Womanizer" called "Hermanizer," and adopt Hermanizer as his new nickname. Don't deny it. Revel in it!

But really, this is just the last nail in the coffin for Cain. Over the last few weeks we've seen how truly weak a presidential candidate he was. And it had nothing to do with his womanizing, and everything to do with him not having a clue on Libya, or the president of Ooz-becky-becky (Uzbekistan, you nitwit!), or what health care options are best for the country, or his pizza-priced tax plan.

Cain was never a serious presidential contender. It was all about his ego, getting his name out there, and selling his book. Just like Trump, and Palin, and Bachmann, it was only ever all about self-promotion. These four "candidates" have absolutely no intention of ever actually becoming president. They were just running to cash in.