Time for another Grab Bag. I have left off the "irritation" this time because I am going to rave about some cool shit in addition to ranting about some not so cool shit.
For this and future Grab Bags, please feel free to click on Comments below the column and leave your own rants and raves.
LOVING THE MONKEYS The Arctic Monkeys are the best band in the world right now. Their premiere album,
Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not, is totally MEGA. It is quite literally a generation defining album much in the same way as Sgt Pepper, London Calling, or Nevermind. They sound like The Beatles, The Jam, The Clash, The Libertines and Franz Ferdinand all rolled into one beautiful British cup of tea. I haven't been this taken by a band in a loooong time.
The lyrics of the album tell a story of what it's like to be young, hitting clubs, falling in love....all within the UK (yea, baby!) as the setting. And what a beautiful story it is...I can't say enough about how great this band sounds. They will be performing on
Saturday Night Live this Saturday March 11th. You must own this record and see them live when they come to your town. Here's to Sheffield!!
THOSE HOLIDAY BLUESIs it just me or is there a holiday every other week? And what is the deal with people taking them realllllllly seriously? Last May, I had a woman ask me what I was doing for the holidays to which I replied......"you mean Christmas in seven months?" She looked at me, with an ashen white, shocked face, and replied, "It's Mother's Day this weekend." So, Mother's Day is now "the holidays?"
When I was a kid, we celebrated Thanksgiving and Christmas and watched football on New Year's Day. And that was the end of "the holidays" until the next fucking year. These days, kids celebrate President's Day. What the?!!? Even more confounding is the fact that several business were shut down on President's Day this year.
Well, it's no wonder the US is lagging behind in the world....we take off stupid-ass holidays! Next thing you know everyone will be out fondling trees on Arbor Day for crying out loud!
GIANT COCK

Sean Hannity is a fucking douchebag. Does anyone out there actually believe that he is more than just a mindless sycophant? Last week, when everyone and their uncle in the newsmedia was talking about how stupid George Bush was with the whole ports deal, this toolbox (left) grudgingly ran a bit about DPW at the top his show,
Hannity and Colmes, and then launched into a tirade about Al Gore. Gore, Hannity said, had accepted money from the bin Laden family to speak at an engagement in Saudi Arabia and so, therefore, he was a traitor.
Excuse me? Sean, do you really want to go down the path of "the Saudis and who, in our government, is friendly with them?" Especially the bin Ladens? I think that YOUR President has been fucking up so much lately that you have run out of material.
Fuck off, you no talent ass clown....I bet all your listeners, who think that you are "fighting the good fight" for the common folks, would be interested to know that you insist upon a private jet and tens of thousands of dollars to speak at events and functions.
And would someone please ring the producers of Hannity and Colmes and let them know that Alan Colmes should replaced by Markadelphia? That way, Sean can actually have a real man to spar with and not an alien-human hybrid like Mr Colmes.
AT LAST!
I guess more conservatives are listening to me now.
Bruce Bartlett, longtime Conservative intellectual and Reagan aide, is releasing a book on how George Bush is basically full of shit, ruining this country, and (gasp!) not really a conservative. Mr Bartlett was recently fired from his job at the conservative think tank,
The National Center for Policy Analysis, for being too critical, personally, of President Bush. His book arrived in stores on Feb 28th.
Many conservatives are also speaking out against the wiretaps now. Maybe it's because of....Uh....what is that thing again that they don't trust....um.....BIG GOVERNMENT? Oh yeah....that's it....good thing we don't have that now......yeeesh.
And, if that weren't enough,
House republicans plan to rip the Bush administration a new one over the Katrina response and gross mismanagement of funds allocated for said disaster. Well, at least some people in our government have the spine to stand up to mountain of crap from the last five years. Lord knows the Democrats won't. And speaking of the Democrats...
LAME LIBSFor those of you who think I am too one sided, the Democrats really pissed me off two weeks ago when they forced
Paul Hackett (left) out of the Senate race in Ohio. If there is ever a straight shooter, Paul is the one. If there are ever stupider people, the Democratic Leadership are the ones to beat.
Democratic Leaders like Charles Schumer and Harry Reid felt that Hackett's bluntness and coarse language would be unpopular with voters so they encouraged donors to give to his opponents. What a couple of toolboxes! Hackett, you may recall, nearly won a congressional seat in a largely Republican Ohio district last year. He called President Bush a "loser" and an "idiot" and referred to the Iraq War as "total fuck up" by the White House. He would know. He is the first Iraqi War Veteran to run for office.
He also said that the Republicans were being "hijacked by the religious right who aren't all the different from Osama Bin Laden." (Hee Hee...oh that is so funny....bwa hah hah....hoo hoo...hee)After he was asked to apologize, he said, "I stand by what I said."
A Democrat with balls?
I think I just came in my pants.
OIL FOR SNOW 

I
Every wonder where all that money goes to in the Middle East that we spend on oil? Well, look no further than the pictures above (provided to me by a fan of Notes From The Front).
The United Arab Emirates, currently in charge of the Department of Homeland Security, have a ski hill in Dubai.....in the middle of the desert.
That seems profoundly helpful and deeply beneficial to mankind. Thank goodness that they are using their money for something good instead of say....educating the Muslim world on how NOT to blow themselves up and kill people over art. And while we are on the subject of Dubai...
MORE PORTS SHIT
Rep. Peter King (R) of New York, chairman of the House Homeland Security Committee, said officials from the Homeland Security and Treasury departments told him weeks ago that their 30-day review of the deal did not look into the question of links between DP World and al Qaeda.
What in the fuck do we even have a Department of Homeland Security for? Holy Hannah, what a bunch of idiots.
Port of New Orleans (left)
THE TUBE
Battlestar Galactica (left) is the best show on TV. Laugh all you want because I know the 70s version was cheesy but the revamped version....dark and gritty.....is filled with deeply passionate acting and characters that are extremely well written.
I have found myself standing up, talking to the TV, and downright yelling during some episodes of this wonderful show because it is so fucking intense.
And the chicks are so hot, dude....my God, I feel like I am a 14 year old boy again every time Kara Thraice (played by
Katie Sackhoff, above, right) comes on the screen. I definitely have plenty of whipped cream for that vanilla shake of hers......
It starts with a
mini series and there are
2 DVD box sets available which are set immediately after the mini series. This show is so good....you must watch it.

I find it sad that NBC cancelled the wonderful show
"The Book of Daniel." (left) Conservative Groups like the
American Family Association fought to have the program off the air because it depicted a vicadin addicted Episcolpalian priest, with a gay son and pot selling daughter, who had regular conversations with Jesus Christ. So...I believe in Jesus....what's the problem here?
I think the show was an accurate, poignant potrayal of family life in the 21st century. It was also very funny. I think the Jesus character was played very honestly and humbly portrayed. Oh well, that's life in Bush country. They know what's best for me, I guess! And since they all KNOW EXACTLY what Jesus was like....well....we must submit to their vision!!!!!
You know what I love? People that decide for me what is good and what is bad. Here's a thought...if a show offends you...DON'T WATCH THAT SHOW!!. I loathe TV evangelists but they have a right to have their fucking show. Just like I have a right to watch Book of Daniel. I wanted to watch it but I can't now because of people in this country who want to DICTATE morality to me. Fuckers....
US DROPS TO NUMBER 2 IN THE WORLDI know it's sad but it's true.
Iran has replace the United States as the country with the most negative impact in the world. The study, which asked 39,435 people in 33 nations across the globe, listed Russia, China and India as rounding out the top five.
And the response from the NCD's (Neo-Con Douchebags)? "Ah, they's all a bunch of fir'ners. Let's kill 'em. And while you're at it, get me a Busch Light from the fridge, bitch. The race is a gonna be on right quick. Hee Haw!"
DRUGGED OUT IN MNIn an effort to further squeeze the American consumer out of his last nickel,
US Customs has begun seizing prescription drugs from Canada claiming that they are illegal contraband. People in Minnesota have been hit particularity hard by this as these drugs are available to order through the State of Minnesota web site. Governor Pawlenty has championed this cause and now faces even more pressure from his pals in the Bush Administration to disallow this practice.
This issue really hits home for me as many elderly family members and friends that I know were skipping pills because they were too expensive. They started buying the pills from Canada because they were tons cheaper (and the exact same drug btw) and thus, they can take them everyday like they are supposed to do.
Yes, yes I know. American Pharmaceutical companies need that money for cancer research. NOT! What a bunch of bullshit.....classic spin...what they really need it for is to keep that salary up around 20 million a year so their golf buddy, Anderson T. Wilson, oil exec, doesn't poke fun of them at the next country club party. And we are stupid enough to put up with this?
FINAL WORDAnd I can truly say that it is, too. For all of you NCDs out there that have claimed for years that the media is liberally biased, I have two words for you: SHUT THE FUCK UP! The media has never been liberally biased....most of the time acting like unofficial spokespeople for the government....and now a study has been done to back it up.
The study took the Sunday Morning News shows on ABC, CBS, and NBC as an example. From the years 1997-2005 the conservative voices on these shows consistently outrated the liberals in quantity.
Another study, which set out strongly to find liberal bias in the media, failed because the study itself was too conservatively biased from the outset and, as a result, it became flawed.
Sorry, neo-cons, but the old "poor me" attitude about the liberal media won't fly anymore. You really need to give up on this one. It really is too bad when someone criticizes you, isn't it? Gosh, it's tough when reality hits you in the fucking head as you realize that you....yes YOU...are capable of making mistakes and someone else is actually going to call you on your shit. That doesn't mean that they are liberal for cripes sakes. Holy Hannah!
COMMENTS
How about you? What are you chawing on this week? Good or bad....leave some comments below..................