WATERGATE: THE NEXT (but still the same fuckers) GENERATION PART TWO

The spring of 1969 was a special time. That's when Dick Cheney met Donald Rumsfeld. It was love at first sight.

They served together in the Nixon Administration and, for at least three years, the world was their oyster. They learned to skirt around pesky issues like the Bill of Rights, flick their bic lighters at the Constitution, how to use the press as a propaganda machine, and how to destroy people that got in their way. And then a sad thing happened.

Watergate. There was no denying it. People in the Nixon administration broke the law and Tricky Dick tried to cover it up. The press suddenly turned against them and before they knew it, Dick and Don saw a peanut farmer from Georgia being sworn in. God, how that must have been awful for them.

I suspect that it was around this time that the two of them had lunch together. This is pure conjecture, mind you, but I suspect the conversation went something like this:

DON: Well, this sucks.
DICK: Sucks, dude.
DON: We had it all and we got caught. Well, at least we didn't get caught.
DICK: Yeah, God I hate the press. I wish we could control them like Goebels did. What a brilliant man! This blows.
DON: Maybe someday.....I wish that we could just do whatever we want and no one will question us. Too much stuff comes out. We just need to classify everything....fucking historians. People need to learn and know LESS not more. They are easier to manipulate that way.
DICK: You know what we need? We need to find a candidate that's not very bright. Maybe someone who is down on his luck. Someone that people in the south can rally around. We can really control those folks down there. Talk about the Bible, guns, and gays....and we're back, baby!
DON: It would have to be someone really lazy. Someone who doesn't want to work all that hard. Then we could run things behind the scenes. I'll tell you what I want is some of that oil from the Middle East, that's for sure. We get that kinda money and then we can start manipulating whole countries. And ours, too. People love their cars!

DICK: I have some pals in business that could really help us out on this one. We could give them tax breaks. Think of it. All we need to do is get about 40-50 million people to believe that we have good, decent morals and these hippie scumbags, that are ruining our country, don't have them.
DON: Yeah, you know how this country is...everyone loves a winner but people love a RICH winner more. Hee Hee!
DICK: Haw Haw...good one Don! But you know what we really need? A Pearl Harbor like event to really scare the shit out of people so...y'know...everyone will be afraid and all and then we can REALLY do whatever we want. People will be shitting themselves, can't you see it? "Oh, please protect me," they'll say, "I don't care how many of my freedoms you take away....help us, please!"
DON: Yeah, I can totally see that dude. And then the rest of the country will hate us and it's perfect. Divide and conquer, baby!




DICK: Hey, you know what? Maybe, we could do what our pals in Texas did to that traitor Kennedy....just...you know....look the other way if something comes along that could help us.....
DON: Yeah.....

That's how I bet it started....in the wind.

And there is documentation to back this up. The Project For the New American Century, a conservative think tank that Cheney and Rumsfeld have been heavily involved with over the years, had the following to say in the publication Rebuilding American's Defenses in September of 2000:

Further, the process of transformation, even if it brings revolutionary change, is likely to be a long one, absent some catastrophic and catalyzing event..like a new Pearl Harbor.

This quote appears in Chapter V, entitled "Creating Tomorrow's Dominant Force", which discusses the perceived need for the Department of Defense to "move more aggressively to experiment with new technologies and operational concepts."

But do you know what my favorite quote is?

Don Rumsfeld told talk show host Larry King that at eight o'clock on the morning of the 9-11 attacks he was meeting with Congressmen. During the meeting, Mr. Rumsfeld says that he stated to the group "sometime in the next two, four, six, eight, ten, twelve months there would be an event that would occur in the world that would be sufficiently shocking that it would remind people again how important it is to have a strong healthy defense department."

That is exactly what they have right now.

Loyal readers, Dick Cheney and Don Rumsfeld have realized their dream. We have a society that is completely divided and afraid. On the one hand we have the liberals who are unorganized, scared to say anything, and have no central message with which to challenge Bush Co.

On the other hand we have the conservatives who have effectively brainwashed an entire generation of people in the exact same way that Hitler Co. did. They can do pretty much whatever they want and if they are questioned, then they cry partisan politics or treason. It's perfect!

Some of my conservative friends think that Cheney, Rumsfeld and the rest of the neocons aren't that bad...that they are the minority. Well, they are THAT bad and if weren't not careful it's going to get worse. They are NOT in the minority. They are running or ruining, as it is more appropiate, our country.

Cheney and Rumsfeld planned well for the future. They knew then what sort of condition the country would have to be in to seize control and now they have it. Sure, the polls might show that people hate them but no one is doing anything about it. And if they do, they are ridiculed endlessly on talk radio.

Dick and Don have their revenge for Watergate. We have a country filled with people now who blindly believe in anything George Bush says or does. Even though, in my mind, he is nothing more than a criminal.

In the end, it may well be true, that he may not be charged with any of the six transgressions I mentioned in last week's column. None of those items, though, can really hold a candle to the worst failure of all on the part of this president: the complete and utter disregard for the two men directly responsible for the 9-11 attacks.

Osama Bin Laden and Dr. Ayman al Zawahari are still at large and, the last time I checked, planning a major attack on the United States. The sad thing is that if it does happen, the same shit will happen all over again. People like Laura Ingraham, Rush Limbaugh, and Sean Hannity will all say that it is our fault for not supporting the president's policies.

At least 40-50 million of us will gladly cheer them and the sound of democracy ending will be that of thunderous applause.