Profiles In Courage (Part Four: A Sacred Voice)

This Friday, May 19th, the much anticipated film adaptation of the best selling novel, The Da Vinci Code, by Dan Brown opens in theaters across the country. Throughout the course of this week and in the weeks after the film's release, I suggest that all of you buy as much stock in Fruit of the Loom, Jockey, and all other major producers of underwear. Why?


Evangelicals, Catholics, and other strict disciplinarians across the nation will be shitting themselves so much that the "last garment to be removed before the fun begins" could be an unusually scarce commodity. Pseudo-Christians around the country will be screaming at the top of their lungs about how "their" Jesus Christ is being attacked...as if Christ was owned personally by them...

Personally, I can't wait to see all the hubbub and brouhaha that is going to unfold in the next week. Protesters, malcontents, and strict religious fervents will all be lining up to blast the film and the book as being sacriledge, hogwash, and full of lies. I mean, the very thought, that Jesus could have been married and been a father as the result of (gasp!) relations with a woman. A WOMAN! What heresy! Everyone knows that all women are evil and should eternally be subordinate to men, right?

I know it's horrible to think that son of God could in anyway be normal, loving, caring or devoted. And you really can't blame Dan Brown. After all, his book is just a spy thriller. No...no the problem really lies within our own culture and our inability to accept that a woman was actually held in the highest esteem by the Son of God.

Most of the citizens of our great society, for all of its forward thinking, still believe that Mary Magdalene was a prostitute, a belief that was finally set right by the Catholic Church in the 1960s. She was, in fact, not a prostitute, but, in my opinion, the OD....Original Disciple. And I think, until recently, the lost voice of True Christianity.

What do I mean by True Christianity? Well, it's hard to find people like that in this country, that's for sure, what with all the folks here who are against abortion and yet have no problem with 100,000 dead Iraqi civilians.....many of them children.

True Christianity can be found in the New Testament (the parts about of loving each other, be tolerant, abhorring war, not judging people, respecting the earth) and the so called Gnostic gospels which detail another sort of history of the earliest followers of Jesus. These people believed in sacred feminine power, the divine goddess, and it's relation to the the natural energy our earth gives us. They believed in ancient healing techniques, Tantric sex, and the harmony of man's aggression with women's compassion.

Sadly, these people were at first ostracized and then executed by evil, gluttonous men who hijacked Christianity in the 4th century. These men knew that they could consolidate their power by using "their" version of the story of Christ to control and manipulate people....people who were better off, in their mind, NOT knowing about this ancient wisdom because after all, an ignorant population is easier to control.


Hmm...sounds familiar, doesn't it?

Well, it should because that is who is running all three branches of our government right now. Conservative lobbyists and right wing talk show hosts disseminate their propaganda to "educate" the public on what it means to be a Christian. There are a few people, thanks to Dan Brown, who are getting out the truth. One of them has carried the message of the sacred feminine to the 21st Century, inspired much of the Da Vinci Code, and become my favorite author in the last two years. Her name is Margaret Starbird.

Margaret Starbird (left) holds BA and MA degrees from the University of Maryland where she concentrated in comparative literature, medieval studies and German language, studies she pursued on a Fulbright Student Grant at the Christian Albrechts Universitat in Kiel, Germany. She later studied at Vanderbilt Divinity School in Nashville, TN.

Ms. Starbird's theological beliefs were profoundly shaken when she first encountered the suggestion that Jesus Christ was married and that his bloodline survived in Western Europe. Shocked by such heresy, this Roman Catholic scholar and former University instructor set out to refute it, but instead found compelling evidence in support of the forgotten Bride of Jesus.

She has lived and traveled extensively in Europe including pilgrimages to Black Madonna and Mary Magdalene shrines and Cathar citadels in Provence. Starbird and her husband of 37 years now reside in the Pacific Northwest. They have five grown children and two grand- children. Starbird conductnationwidede seminars and retreats honoring the Sacred Union at the heart of Christianity.

She has written several books on the subject including The Woman with the Alabaster Jar, Magdalene's Lost Legacy, The Goddess in the Gospels, The Feminine Face of Christianity, and the most recent Mary Magdalene: Bride in Exile. I urge all of you to read these books as I believe they represent the most courageous pieces of literature to be released in our times.

Ms. Starbird illustrates, through historical documents and evidence in the scriptures, the importance of Mary Magdalene in Christian history. If she was the Bride of the Jesus, than the history that we have been taught our entire lives is a half truth...a fabrication and distortion made to minimalize the role of the female in the last 2000 years.




In effect, Ms. Starbird illustrates how many of the world's ills could have been avoided if we had embraced the sacred feminine and restored the balance that should exist between man and woman.

Currently, we are out of this balance. Our society, and the world in general, is run by violent men who have lost touch with their feminine side and need to be reminded where it is. Or educated on how to find it. Now, I am not saying that Ms. Starbird would make a good president necessarily. But how abou Secretary of Education. Or Secretary General of the UN? She has been undeniably courageous in asserting what she profoundly believes. We NEED a voice like this in our leadership!!

Her ideas and beliefs need to be spread, particularly in this country. She has said

The "sacred union" of Christ and Magdalene which, I believe, was always at the heart of the Christian story, is only a model for this much deeper "partnership" of "God" and "man/woman"--the "divine" and the created vessel (each individual as well as the entire 'human family') in which it is incarnated.

These beliefs are not in contrary to many of the basic teachings of Jesus. In fact, I believe that if Christ was married, embraced the goddess power, fathered a child, and believed in harmony between and man and a woman that makes him MORE appealing as my savior. All of these idiots that are protesting this movie are missing this point completely.

For the record, I believe that Jesus is the Son of God, the King of Kings and is the most wonderful being to ever grace this planet. As with many of us, he had a partner who was with him every step of the way. She was his equal, his teacher, and his pupil.

She was Mary. She was his beloved. And, in these troubled times, we need to hear that sacred voice again.

Profiles In Courage: (Part Three: California Girl)

I had drinks recently with a female friend of mine who is every active in the local political scene. We spoke of many things: the state of health care in our country, terrorism, the education system....all the major issues we, as a nation, face everyday.

Towards the end of the conversation she said something to me that I thought was very poignant. "Y'know, Mark, the future of politics rests in the hands of women. The next president should focus their agenda on women's issues because that is where elections will be won and lost." We went on to discuss what those issues were. Most women, in poll after poll, consider health care, education, and the environment to be the most pressing issues of our time...not the war or the economy.

If you think about it, this really makes sense. Women make up the majority of voters in this country and being a mom myself, I have become deeply concerned about similar issues. I think about what kind of a place we are going to leave our children and then I look at what our current government is doing with health care, education, and the environment and it just isn't good enough. In fact, it's downright awful.

So, what better person to tackle women's issues than a.......WOMAN. Folks, we need a female president. It has been way too long. Not only do we need a female president, but we need female leadership overall. I am sick and tired of seeing a bunch of old, fat men in suits getting their guns off for four to eight years. Our country desperately needs someone who can put these three issues at the forefront of the country's agenda.

Surprisingly, there is a certain woman Senator in our government who has fought long and hard on these three issues and has achieved some success in addressing these concerns. She is extremely popular in her home state, winning her last election by a margin of 20 percentage points, the largest in direct election history.

Oh, and her first name is not Hillary. It's Barbara.

Barbara Levy Boxer was born on November 11, 1940 in New York. She attended Brooklyn College and got a degree in economics in 1962. She married Stewart Boxer and moved to Marin County California where she worked as journalist, congressional aide and the first female president of the Marin County Board of Supervisors.

She was elected to the US House of Representatives in 1982, representing Marin country, and served for five terms. During this time she has focused on human rights, environmental protection, military procurement reform and pro choice issues. She was also involved in seeking protection for whistleblowers in government, and pushed for higher budget allocations for health, biomedical research, and education.

In 1992 she was elected to the US Senate and has since served three terms. She almost didn't run in 2004 but decided that someone should "fight for the right to dissent" against the conservative agenda. In her terms as Senator she has:

1. Authored successful bipartisan legislation to accelerate America's contribution to the global war on AIDS.
2. Written a bill to make health insurance tax deductible and another bill to let any American buy into the same health insurance program that members of Congress have.
3. Supported comprehensive prescription drug coverage through Medicare and the right of all consumers to purchase lower-cost prescription drugs reimported from Canada.
4. Been a strong supporter of stem cell research.
5. Increased autism awareness
6. Introduced legislation providing federal funding for local after-school programs, which have been shown to increase student performance while decreasing juvenile delinquency, crime, and drug use. Her 'Computers in Classrooms' law encourages the donation of computers and software to schools.
7. Established the Excellence in Education award to recognize teachers, parents, businesses and organizations that are working to make positive changes in education.
8. Successfully led the 2003 Senate floor battle to block oil drilling in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge In 2005, Boxer voted again to block oil drilling at ANWR.
9. Been an original co-sponsor of Senator Jim Jeffords (I-VT) Clean Power Act. This legislation would reduce emissions of four pollutants coming from power plants; sulfur dioxide, nitrogen oxides, carbon dioxide and mercury.

(Source: Wikipedia)

Oh, and on the subject of national security, Senator Boxer voted against the war in Iraq, authored a bill to protect commercial airliners against attacks by shoulder-fired missiles, and wrote the law allowing airline pilots with special training to carry guns in the cockpit. She also wrote the High-Tech Port Security Act, and sponsored the Chemical Security Act to address terrorist threats against chemical plants. Senator Boxer also cosponsored comprehensive rail security legislation.

What the??!!?? A Democrat concerned about national security? I thought all Democrats were "lilly livered, chicken faggots who want to hand the keys of America over to the evil doers" (source: FOX News).

What makes me the most proud of Senator Boxer is her tireless, unnoticed work on international women's issues. In 1997 the Senate passed a Boxer resolution calling on the United States not to recognize the Taliban as the official government of Afghanistan because of its human rights abuses against women. In October 2001, Boxer successfully authored a resolution calling for the inclusion of women in the temporary government of Afghanistan.

In March 2005 the Senate Foreign Relations Committee passed Boxer's amendment to the Foreign Affairs Reauthorization Bill strongly urging Saudi Arabia to permit women to run for office and vote in all future elections.

And thousands of Saudi men just sharted themselves at the thought of women governing.....

Which brings me to my final point of why it would be great to have a female president: what better weapon in the War on Terror than a WOMAN fighting and winning against a bunch of Arab men? Can you imagine the looks on their faces when they see President Boxer ordering an assault on their Bat Cave hideouts?

As a matter of fact I have a better punishment for the recently imprisoned for life Zaccarias Moussaoui and any other psycho Islamist that is captured by US forces. They are all to be put to work on a chain gang building abused women shelters across the country. Oh, and all of the police in charge of said chain gang will be female. So, Marwan el-Suckditch gets to spend the remainder of his days working for and helping women. How's that for some REAL torture?

Anyway, I know that Hillary is the one to beat but I think if she is elected then our country would be still be too divided. There are so many people that just hate her. We would be right back to square one and make no progress in unifying this country. Barbara seems more pure to me.....she seems to really stick to her guns, regardless of whether or not it is popular.

The achievements I mentioned above are just a small portion of the service she has given this country. She has raised awareness to issues that are not very popular (Florida and Ohio voting irregularities, voting against Bush judicial nominees, weapons bans) and come out bluntly in defense of issues that are very much in the minority (gay marriage, troop withdrawal from Iraq).

It takes courage to take a stand on these things and I find that appealing. And, dude, I'm sorry I hate to be a total guy here but.......Barabara is hot. I have seen her on several chat shows and she is bloody gorgeous. I don't get the screaming thigh sweats for many 64 year old women but she just does it for me. Maybe, as always, it's the slightly more than average sized love shaker.

Anyway, as we head to the polls in 2006 and 2008, let's think about selecting a candidate who will focus on these issues with great care, gentleness, intelligence, and inner strength.

In other words, how about a woman?

Profiles In Courage (Part Two: The Man Who Can Bring The Cheese)

Most of you who know me are aware of the fact that I think baseball is one of the most beautiful things to grace our world. I look forward to every season on pins and needles with bated breath. In April, I watch the season unfold in all it's glory and hang on every pitch...every hit that my beloved Cardinals make. Throughout the season, I thoroughly and completely enjoy the ONLY sport that one can say is truly part of God's magnificent creation.

In baseball, one of the prerequisites a pitcher must have is the ability to throw a fastball. Obviously, the faster he can throw, the more outs he gets. When a pitcher throws the ball really fast, they say that he can bring the cheese.

On Oct 25, 2001, the US Senate voted on the Patriot Act and it passed 98-1. One Senator, Mary Landrieu from Louisiana did not vote. Another Senator, from Wisconsin, cast the lone dissenting vote.

His name was Russ Feingold. And being from the land of neverending dairy, my homeboy can bring the cheese.





Russell Dana Feingold was born on March 2, 1953 in Janesville, WI. As a child his three heroes were John F Kennedy, Robert Kennedy and Martin Luther King (funny, those three gentlemen sit in poster form above my desk and look down upon me every week as I write....). He went to the University of Wisconsin, Madison, Oxford, and then earned a law degree from Harvard.

He began his career as a Wisconsin State Senator and in 1992, was elected to the US Senate with a surprising victory over Republican incumbent Bob Kasten. One of the main reasons he got elected was an "underdog, grass roots campaign" that symbolized the everyman running against big government. He went so far as to put five promises on his garage door which read:

1. I will rely on the Wisconsin citizens for most of my contributions.
2. I will live in Middleton, Wisconsin. My children will go to school here and I will spend most of my time here in Wisconsin.
3. I will accept no pay raise during my six-year term in office.
4. I will hold a "Listening Session" in each of Wisconsin's 72 counties each year of my six-year term in office.
5. I will hire the majority of my Senate staff from individuals who are from Wisconsin or have Wisconsin backgrounds

Upon his election, Feingold promised: balancing the budget by raising taxes, cutting unnecessary military spending, campaigning finance reform (the McCain-Feingold bill), and a national health care system. Members of Congress on both sides of the aisle attacked him for being too liberal...too out of touch....a quirk election....obviously a one term Senator.

In 1998, he ran again for Senate. During that campaign he refused soft money from lobbyists and prohibited them from running ads in his favor. Groups such as the AFL-CIO scratched their heads and said, "Oh well, he can't possibly win."

He won the Senate again in 1998.

In 2001, less than two months after 9-11, Senator Feingold was the only dissenting vote against the Patriot Act. He believed that too many provisions infringed upon the civil liberties of US citizens. He was one of the few members in Congress that actually read the bill. At this point, all talk of Senator Feingold centered around two words: "political suicide"

In 2004, he ran again. He won by his biggest margin yet, 56 to 44 percent, and even carried many of the counties where George Bush defeated John Kerry. I guess this proves that, even though people in Wisconsin suck ass because of all their Packer bullshit, they actually know a good, decent man when they see him.

His "maverick" attitude is continuing to this day. At one of his famous listening sessions, Feingold gave his opinion about gay marriage.

"Gay and lesbian couples should be able to marry and have access to the same rights, privileges and benefits that straight couples currently enjoy," said Feingold. "The proposed ban on civil unions and marriage is a mean-spirited attempt to divide Wisconsin and I think that it should be defeated."

He is an outspoken critic on War in Iraq. He voted against the use of force in Iraq. He has called repeatedly for an exit strategy and has said that not having one plays into our enemies hands. His position on gun control is as follows:

"I have never accepted the proposition that the gun debate is a black and white issue, a matter of 'you're with us, or you're against us.' Instead, I have followed what I believe is a moderate course, faithful to the Constitution and to the realities of modern society. I believe that the Second Amendment was not an afterthought, that it has meaning today and must be respected. I support the right to bear arms for lawful purposes — for hunting and sport and for self-protection. Millions of Americans own firearms legally and we should not take action that tells them that they are second-class citizens or that their constitutional rights are under attack. At the same time, there are actions we can and should take to protect public safety that do not infringe on constitutional rights."

On March 13, 2006, the Man who can bring the Cheese "committed political suicide" again by calling for the censure of President Bush because he did not follow the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act of 1978 (FISA) which mandates use of a surveillance court for approval of wiretaps on Americans. In its history, the court has understood the request for intelligence and in only rare instances has turned down a request. Feingold made a 25 minute speech on the Senate Floor declaring that Congress must "hold the president accountable for his actions".

Hmm...sound like Mr. Feingold might have something here. Be honest...follow your heart....follow your conscience....do what you know to be right and just, whether or not it is popular....ignore loud, blowhards (ie neocondouchbags) because, in the end, they will get what's coming to them....and people will notice that you took a stand.

Well, Senator Feingold, I have noticed. And as a result, I think you would make an excellent choice forpresidentt of the United States in 2008. Imagine our country under a Feingold presidency:

1. The War on Terror...actually fighting and policing those who are trying to attack us.
2. Universal Health Care...similar to Massachusetts (Republican governor btw)
3. Improved Education system
4. Sensible gun laws
5. Campaign finance reform for REAL.
6. Equal Rights for all (sorry ncds, gay people will be married. I know it frightens you to think about what gay people are doing in the privacy of their own homes but, TOO FUCKING BAD, bitch!)

Since these things all make sense, are just and honest, and for the general good of all, I guess it is time to hear the NCD spin about how this is all impossible, evil, and anti-patriotic....change being a word that most people on the right seem to not have in their vocabulary.

My only hope is that the completely inept Democratic leadership does not look passed Mr. Feingold in the their myopic quest for a Hillary Clinton presidency. He has obviously defied the odds and is extremely popular, with seemingly unpopular views, in a state that by all rights should be located somewhere between Mississippi and Alabama....politically speaking.

Harry Reid,Howard Dean, and Chuck Schumer take note.....do you really want to win?

Russ is your man.

Profiles In Courage (Part One: General of Peace)

During the years 1954-1955, John F. Kennedy was on leave from his post as US Senator recovering from back surgery. From his bedside, he wrote an astounding book titled Profiles in Courage. The book focused on eight US Senators' (both Republican and Democrat) acts of bravery and integrity throughout American history. The book won the Pulitzer Prize in 1957 and propelled JFK to national celebrity status.

In keeping with this theme put forward by my favorite President (seen at left during his heroic service in the Navy), I have decided to write a series of columns profiling a handful of Americans who I think would be fantastic leaders of this great nation of ours.

Rather than continuing to bitch about the bullshit going on right now in our government, I am going to continue, for awhile anyway, my search for President (almost) Perfect. I am going to base my selections on the type of people JFK selected for his book. People who are willing to stand up and fight for what they believe in....people who made of stern stuff....people who exemplify the best qualities of what it means to be an American.

People who are looking forward to the New Frontier.




On August 26, 2002 the Veterans of Foreign Wars had a convention. Vice President Dick Cheney was guest speaker and this is a quote from his speech.

"Simply stated, there is no doubt that Saddam Hussein now has weapons of mass destruction. There is not doubt that he is amassing them to use against our friends, against our allies and against us."

Sitting near him, behind the podium, was a man being honored that day for his years of service in the military. This man was General Anthony Zinni and Cheney's remarks caused him great bewilderment.

Anthony Charles Zinni was born on September 17, 1943 and is a retired general in the United States Marine Corps. He is also a former Commander in Chief of US Central Command (CENTCOM). He has received the Defense Distinguished Service Medal, Defense Superior Service Medal, Legion of Merit, Bronze Star Medal, and the Purple Heart in his illustrious career in the military. In 2002 he was selected to be a special envoy of the United States to Israel and the Palestinian Authority. And, yes, he is one of several generals that have come forward in recent weeks who have been critical of the Iraq War.

General Zinni discussed the VFW convention and Cheney's remarks on a recent edition of Meet the Press with Tim Russert. I urge all of you to go and read the full transcript of the show which you can find here.

Here is a part of the transcript of that show:

MR. RUSSERT: After that event, The Washington Post captured your thinking in a conversation with you. Cheney's certitude bewildered [retired General Tony] Zinni. ... In my time at CENTCOM, I watched the intelligence, and never - not once - did it say, 'He has WMD.' Though retired for nearly two years, Zinni says, he remained current on the intelligence through his consulting with the CIA and the military. 'I did consulting work for the agency, right up to the beginning of the war. I never saw anything. I'd say to analysts, 'Where's the threat?' Their response, he recalls, was, 'Silence.'Zinni's concern deepened as Cheney pressed on. ... Zinni's conclusion as he slowly walked off the stage was that the Bush administration was determined to go to war. A moment later, he had another, equally chilling thought: 'These guys don't understand what they're getting into.'""

Here we have a more than qualified member of the military...one of many....stepping forward and telling the truth about the situation in Iraq. He went on to say later in the show that the current Iraq policy is"an insult to the troops who, for 10 years, ran the containment: those brave pilots who flew the no-fly zones, those sailors who enforced the maritime intercept operations, our soldiers and Marines that were on the ground out there that responded to every crisis, our support for the efforts of the inspectors that were in there. "

His assesment of pre-war planning, the current situation, and the future in the Middle East, should we continue blindly following the lead of the dolts that are presently running this show, is chilling at best....horrifying at worst. General Zinni feels that unless we drastically alter our policy, Iraq is going to continue to degenerate, become more unstable, and ultimately achieve complete failure in the War on Terror..a failure which could prove to be very costly for American both in innocent lives lost and in our economic standing in the world.


General Zinni does put forward a plan for the Middle East in his new book Battle For Peace. In the book he says:

"The Battle for Peace is not a battle in the classical sense - a battle that follows the sudden crisis blow that triggers a military conflict. The battle is the constant struggle to develop and build the measures, programs, systems, and institutions that will prevent crisis. The battle is the constant struggle to shape and manage the harmful elements in the environment that generate instabilities.

One review of his book summed up my feelings for General Zinni perfectly.

Tony Zinni is one of my heroes. He not only understands asymmetric warfare and the urgency of getting serious (that is to say, professional, which we are not at this time) about global instability in the intangible non-military dimensions, but he is a clear-headed diplomat and warrior-philosopher who knows how to make big bureaucracies do his bidding. I hope the day comes when we have a chance to work together to save this great Republic from the morons that have broken the piggy bank, cost us all moral legitimacy in the eyes of the world, and started a 100 year six front war we did not need and were not ready for. BRAVO ZULU and GUNG HO.

Most of you have heard me speak often and loud about the need for a "JFK" type of leader....a hero that we can all rally around.....a person who is both strong and intelligent. I believe that General Zinni IS that man. As he has made the rounds on talk shows, I have noticed a quiet seriousness about the man. It's as if he deeply understands all that is at stake in the Middle East and knows that the time for a new direction is now. He doesn't take kindly to joking about our current situation and, in many ways, is a consumate professional

He has stood up and given us some very harsh truths about the current state of US Foreign Policy. I am praying that people in our government start listening to him. I am praying that he runs for President in 2008. He is a man of great bravery and integrity and I would be proud to follow him.

Our Next President

The last couple of posts have been kinda depressing, especially the last one. I have really been wrapped around the axle about the nutters that are running our country lately. And, although I haven't commented on it, I have been reliving my 9-11 anger, sadness, and frustration in reading about the Zacarias Moussaoui trial.


I guess I still can't believe that four and a half years later that the man directly repsonsible for the 9-11 attacks is still at large and our leaders have taken their eye off of what should be the real focus of the War on Terror: the border region between Pakistan and Afghanistan. I have to admit that I was heartened to see airstrkes by the CIA there a few months back even if they missed the Al Qaeda number 2, Ayman Al Zawahari. I hope these operations will continue in earnest.

I talk to my friends who are supporters of this administration and they really believe that fighting in Iraq is the same thing as fighting anywhere in the War on Terror. They are wrong. It is a failed policy and, sadly, we will all know it when, not if, another major attack happens inside our country. There will be even more heart-wrenched families like the ones who currently testifying at the Moussaoui trial (left).


But out of this depression I began to imagine what our next president could be like. I guess, as a proud American, I have always wanted to look to our president as a person of great intelligence and honor....a leader who I will proudly follow. Rather than focus on the shit we are in right now, I began to feel hopeful as I imagined President Perfect and wondered what characteristics make a great president. And what would I like to see out of our next president?

1. Strength WITH Intelligence. I want a president, preferably with military experience, who will truly understand the conflict that we are in without being sullied by corporate interests. We are quite literally in a fight of good vs evil and we need to have a leader that understands the complexities of the region. I am absolutely for using the military when we need to but it has to be in a thoughtful and intelligent manner.

2. Homeland Security. The ports fiasco has shown how absolutely porous our borders are. More funding needs to be given to beefing up security on our borders. We need to have a leader who makes this a top priority.

3. Health Care. The state of Massachusetts recently passed a Universal Health Care bill. The first thing the next president should do is insure all children immediately. If we can spend billions of dollars on weapons that don't ever get used, I think we can spare some change to give the nation's children free health care.

4. Education. My ideal president would come up with a national education system that is totally new....something that would challenge the norm and re-write how we think about knowledge. People in this country need to be smarter and I would like to see a president who speaks to this.

5. Green Friendly. Whatever is causing global warming, it IS happening. We need to take better care of this earth. We are not doing it now and things are going to get worse if we don't work to understand exactly how global warming is affecting our environment. Again, money that is wasted in the military can be spent on developing strategies to take better care of our planet. Make no mistake....I am not so vain as to think the human race can destroy the planet with our current horseshit attitude about the environment but we will destroy our ability to live comfortably here. I would hope that my President Perfect would feel the same way.

6. Socially Liberal. The time has come for us to recognize that other people's sex lives are nobody's business....least of all the government's business. I see President Perfect as someone who keeps the government out of people's private business. If someone is not harming anyone or disturbing minors, then they are free to be married, be in a civil union, or do whatever they want to do. And if Joe or Jane Evangelical is offended by this, then they can FUCK OFF! And while we are on the subject of religion....



7. I see my ideal president as a person of PRIVATE faith. And I would want the president to keep religion and government as far apart as possible. There will be no references to God in any public institution. That is what church is for. My ideal president would basically bitch slap the evangelicals and their Nazi-esque agenda of enforcing their morals on me.

8. Energy independent. The country of Brazil recently became energy independent using sugar for fuel. That is what this country needs to do. The next president should put us on a path so that we don't have to be beholden to oil interests that directly threaten our nation's security. President Perfect will have no ties to the oil industry.

So those are just some of the traits I would like to see in our next leader. I guess the next question is....is that person out there? Cynics would say that all the good people never run for president but I believe there are several outstanding candidates, on both sides, that I would like to see as president.

What do you think? What would you like to see in our next leader?

Jesus of Paranoia (The New America Part Two)

Last week I wrote about The Alliance of Four (the military, Congress, corporations, and lobbyists) and their stranglehold on the American economy. I also discussed how personal liberties have taken a hit as a result of this "machine" chugging along at a brisk pace in the last five years. But, really, even those four groups of people alone could not garner the complete and utter capitulation that is going on in our country today.

Such a task could only be accomplished by faaaaaaaaaaaavorite group of people: The Evangelical Christians.

Vision America, a group headed by Rick Scarborough (left), famed author of Liberalism Kills Kids, held an event on March 27th-28th at the Omni Shoreham Hotel in Washington D.C. The War on Christianity and Values Voters conference was organized to whip up support amongst the conservative base. Guest speakers, including Tom DeLay (bye, bye dickhead!), spoke angrily of an America that is attacking their values. They screamed of how Christians across the country are being persecuted for their beliefs and how our society as a whole is corrupt.

Huh?

Bill Maher, host of Real Time on HBO, I think commented on it best when he said:

People who run everything can't complain that they're underdogs. To whit, this week, there was a highly-attended conference in Washington called "The War on Christians." Because nothing quite says "I'm oppressed," like the opulent Regency Ballroom of the Omni Shoreham Hotel.

Ah, yes, whatever happened to that plucky little cult, Christianity? Oh, that's right, they're 80% of the American people, and have taken over all three branches of government, country music, and public schools...

Did you know that the Missouri legislature recently felt the need to propose a resolution declaring Christianity Missouri's majority religion. No kidding. Really, you mean people aren't saying, "Gosh, I'd like to go to Missouri, but...nah.....to Jewish." In Savannah, recently, a children's book about a baby penguin who is raised by two male penguins - ahh! - was removed from the library for its homosexual overtones. Because you know penguins, in those tuxedos, with the dreamy eyes. Huge fags!

The Christian right are now officially the party of paranoia. Secularists are attacking Christmas! Gays are attacking marriage! Liberals are attacking values! White girls are being abducted at an alarming rate!

And the worst part is, the people bitching loudest about being persecuted for their Christianity aren't Christians at all. They're demagogues and conmen and scolds. And the only thing they worship is power. If you believe Jesus ever had a good word for war or torture or tax cuts for the rich, or raping the earth, or refusing water to dying migrants, then you might as well believe bunnies lay painted eggs.

Thomas Jefferson called the type of Christian who trumpets his own belief in the divinity of Jesus rather than the morality of Jesus "pseudo-Christians." And that's who's running our country today...

I have written several columns about this new paranoia NCDs (neocon douchebags) seem to have but now I see the real reason why they do what they do: VOTES.

The evangelical Christian base helped George Bush win in 2004. They viewed him as being a man of honesty and good values. They are the ultimate lobby of psychotic morons who, when you wave the Bible, a few choice pics of gays, and cock your gun, will ALWAYS support the Alliance of Four out of plain ignorance and simple fear. And that's how personal liberties can so easily be given away....

Paul Hackett, last year in his run for Congress in Ohio, said that the Republican Party has been hijacked by people that aren't all that different from Osama bin Laden. He is absolutely right. In fact, there is an astounding book, just released, called American Theocracy by Kevin Phillips which details this unholy marriage of religion, oil and politics. This former Republican strategist main theme is that our "reckless dependency on shrinking oil supplies," a "milieu of radicalized (and much too influential) religion," and a "reliance on borrowed money" (domestic and international debt, that is) have all coalesced into our country being on the brink of collapse.

I will take it a step further. Take these ideas and mix them with the thought of a spend happy military always needing a war, corporations only happy to make more money, an inept Congress, and group of lobbyists, the biggest of which believe that we are in the "End Times." What do you have?



The United States of America in the 21st Century.

Folks, we are at a crossroads, and I for one would like to move forward and it feels like we are moving backwards into the stone age. I mean, they are debating evolution as a "theory" right now in Washington. We have a president who, according to Senator Joe Biden, goes with his instincts, regardless of the facts presented to him, and then prays later that he will be right. For crying out loud!

The combination of watching the film Why We Fight and then hearing about these lunatics yell about a supposed war on Christians has really gotten me down. I don't see any way out of this. The Democrats are so weak and just plain pussy about everything that I can't rely on them. So, who then? Who is going to lead us in this time of great turmoil?And do we have the strength to change?

Do we?

Justice and Liberty For All? (The New America Part One)

In last week's "Comments" section it was suggested to me that I write a column about how our personal liberties have strayed from the founding fathers original vision of our country and have eroded over the last five years. I thought that might make an interesting column but it needed a spark....something a bit more.

I found the "bit more."

I recently had the opportunity to view a film called Why We Fight. It is the most extraordinary documentary I have ever seen. Quite frankly, it puts Fahrenheit 9-11 to shame. I have included a link here and I urge all of you to go and watch some clips of the movie on the official web site, particularly the clip of President Eisenhower. It is an insightful, unbiased view of our country that will change your perception of the little rose colored reality we have created.

The film's basic premise is the main point behind President Eisenhower's farewell address: our country's economy is based around feeding the military industrial complex. We have to constantly be in a state of war to survive. The narrative unfolds to show an unholy alliance between the military, Congress, Lobbyists, and the corporations of this country who are all making billions of dollars off of war and thus, "create" enemies for us to fight.

The film has had a profound impact on me and I can't stop thinking about it. And one of the reasons why I am stuck on it has to do with personal liberties and, in particular, how they have been removed from us in the last five years.

One section of the film in particular struck me with it's starkness. On Oct 10, 2002 Congress signed resolution #114 which effectively ended the way our country was supposed to work; they gave President Bush the power to attack Iraq without approval from them or the UN, relinquishing the power that they and they alone were supposed to have. The elected officials that represent US and our interests essentially gave away our rights to be adequately represented. Now we are represented by one man who is essentially beholden to corporations and lobbyists who helped get him elected.

And the founding fathers rolled in their graves for the great Republic they created was truly dead....

The people who started this country did not intend for the President to have this much power. They installed a system of checks and balances by having Congress and the Supreme Court round out our governing body. And they certainly did not intend to have unelected officials wielding so much power behind the president.

This resolution provided cover for the president to take "all necessary steps" to protect the American people from Iraq. Taken with the Patriot Act, this new resolution essentially gave carte blanche to the president to wiretap anyone he wanted to without a warrant. It was around this time that the program began. Oddly, President Bush spent the summer of 2004 giving speeches saying that the "government needs warrants to perform any sort of wiretapping....so personal liberties would not be eroded." This was a lie. Bush Co had been doing it for nearly two years.

The NSA program was underway and the "liberal rag" the New York Times knew about it and sat on the story until nearly a year after the election. Gee, I wonder why.

Apparently the Patriot Act, even with its ability to seize guns and property without warrants, was not enough. Resolution #114 and the Patriot Act together have made our country a place where people can be halled off and tortured, without a warrant, and without anything other than perhaps a questionable phone call.

All this and yet the 9-11 commission says we are still doing a horrible job fighting the war on terror and that is what really ticks me off about this. As if the erosion of personal liberty weren't enough, certain people in this country are using the fear of another terrorist attack to get away with whatever they want while all the while completely ignoring Al Qaeda and the warnings of hundreds of experts.




The Alliance of Four (military, corporations, Congress and lobbyists) have pushed the average American citizen into a corner where the only choice she or he has is to go along with....whatever....for freedom.

Don't like war? Well, if there weren't a war then your city or county would lose 2000 jobs. And your Congressmen that you like so much won't get re-elected and will be replaced by someone more Alliance of Four friendly. Made a phone call to Gaza lately? See you at Gitmo. Now that there is a war on, we need to hear stuff cuz bad people are doing bad stuff and stuff. Do you want to know what is really going on? Can't....national security....which leads us to our last little tidbit of personal liberty erosion.

Our government....YOUR government....has decided to re-classify thousands of documents, that have been unclassified for years, as highly secret and essential to national security. I have read stories of historians and academics researching in the National Archives only to have documents taken away on the grounds of national security. The program started in 1999 but stepped up as soon as President Bush got elected. It is my opinion that the current administration would like us to have less information rather than more. And they would like whatever information that does get out to be filtered through their PR firm, Fox News.

The more information we have the more we know what they are really up to....and that just wouldn't do....

Whose it to blame? Us? Maybe. We have become a nation of lazy, fat morons that have given away our rights and allowed this sort of system to flourish. We have an Imperial Presidency. Unless something insanely ridiculous comes along like the Dubai Ports Deal, there are now like minded people in all three branches of government that have been placed there, on purpose, to carry out an agenda of much greater control of the citizenry than our founding fathers intended. They all just go along with whatever the president wants to do, which explains why President Bush has never used a veto yet....all the bills that come to him are all hand crafted to fit his vision!

So, we have these four groups that are flicking their bic lighters at the Constitution. There is a fifth group, however, whose power and influence are growing everyday.....along with their paranoia. The film does not mention them but I think they are every bit as integral as the other four to the erosion of our liberties . And every bit as dangerous.

Stay tuned for who they are and their agenda in Part Two of The New America......next week!

Our New Generation of Traitors

Nothing surprises me anymore. In this day and age of warped perceptions, twisted facts and spun stories, the chances of me being shocked are very remote. These days, when my conservative friends send me articles, pictures, or debate with me over drinks, I become profoundly sad and sometimes angry at their complete and utter disregard for reality.


Last week a conservative friend of mine sent me a picture (left) of Hillary Clinton shaking hands with a soldier in Iraq a while back. Notice what the red circle around his left hand is indicating. His hand is formed into the sign of coercion. This is how captured soldiers signify they are under duress, if held in captivity, to their superiors. According to what I have read about this soldier, he hates all Democrats, especially Hillary because she alledgedly said she loathes the military. My friend thought this was funny. I think it's sad.

There are so many things wrong with this that I don't know where to start. I guess it reminds me of someone I met at party recently. I have mentioned this story before but it bears repeating. The young man I met had recently returned from Iraq. I asked him if he believed in what we were doing over there. He said that he did. We got to talking about politics and he said that he would feel obligated to kill any Democrat that got elected to the Presidency. I thought he was joking but he was not. I asked him why he felt this way and he said it was because Democrats are all pussies and make our country weak. He went on to say that all true patriots voted Republican and ALL Democrats were traitors.

I bet you my CD collection that the soldier in the picture above feels EXACTLY the same way. He has been completely brainwashed, most effectively, by the ruling party of this country and their brain dead minions (talk radio, Fox News, etc).

This is our country today, ladies and gentlemen. If Hillary Clinton is elected president, probably around half of our armed forces will think these same things. And you know what? If I were their commanding officers, they'd all be in their way to fucking Leavenworth for being TRAITORS! While they were there, I would inform them of these pesky little facts.

1. The President, regardless of party affiliation or sex, is their commander in chief. They serve at the pleasure of the president. This is the reason why, when you ask the troops in Iraq today how they feel about Bush, they say they love him. Of course they do! They HAVE to love him as he is their boss. I have always loved the rose colored glasses view of the military as being pro Republican. The fact is that it is split down the middle, just like our country, because people in the military come from different backgrounds. Naturally they are going to have different political views.

And, in a recent anonymous poll down by Gallup, 30 percent of the troops said we should leave Iraq now, 30 percent say 6 months from now, and another 30 percent say we should leave in a year with 10 percent saying we should stay until the mission is over. Hmmm....




2.Hillary has never publicly stated that she loathes the military. She has said that she hates the fact that we have to have one due to the violent nature of this world. Spoken like a true woman, which is the real reason why the douchebag above has a problem with her.

3. From Wikipedia...Dick Cheney was of military age and a supporter of the Vietnam War but he did not serve in the war, applying for and receiving five draft deferments. On May 19, 1965 , Cheney was classified as 1-A "available for service" by the Selective Service. On October 26, 1965 the Selective Service lifted the constraints on drafting childless married men. However, after his daughter was born, Cheney applied for and received a reclassification of 3-A, gaining him a final draft deferment. In an interview with George C. Wilson that appeared in the April 5, 1989 issue of the Washington Post, when asked about his deferments the future Defense Secretary said "I had other priorities in the '60s than military service."

Hmm....I would say that's MUCH FUCKING WORSE THAN ANYTHING HILLARY HAS EVER SAID OR DONE!!

So, buttwipes, how come we don't see the hand symbol for coercion when you shake Tricky Dick II's hand?

4. George Bush skipped out on his tour of military duty thanks to his rich daddy pulling strings. Righties, there really should be no debate about it anymore. He did it. Deal with it. Your president and vice president are chickenhawks, a term roughly defined as people who are aggresively pro-war yet have never served in the military due to opting out on dubious grounds.

Now that I have gotten all of that out of my system, I can safely say that I am not entirely sure Hillary would make a great president. I like her. I do know this: If she does win, the day after her inaugural address will be the beginning of the end of our health care system as we know it. Thank God!

I also think that more attention will be paid to women's issues which, in my opinion, is really how we need to look at the world in the 21st Century. Issues like health care and education consistently rank as higher priorities with women than terrorism and the economy, which rank higher with men.

I find as I talk to more and more women that, generally, they have a much more complete way of looking at this grey world of ours. They seem to be able to grasp complex issues in a softer, graceful, and intelligent way. The issues that are important to them, being that there are more women in this world than men, are going to be at the forefront of future elections.

And yet, I am reasonably certain that Hillary has done some crooked shit in her life....most of it being NOWHERE NEAR the criminal behavior of Bush Co....and maybe, just maybe, where there's smoke there's fire. So she is definitely not perfect and not THE president that we so desperately need right now. By that,I mean, we need a FDR, Harry Truman or JFK for the 21st century to lead us through these turbulent times. And, in my humble opinion, a woman.

I am certain of one thing, though. Hillary Clinton is the most powerful woman in America. She has been part of certain groups in this country and the world that, until she came along, only men were allowed in their inner circles. So, for those of you out there biting your nails and sweating about HC possibly being Chief, it probably will happen.

As Bette Davis said long ago, strap in and get ready for a bumpy ride!

WATERGATE: THE NEXT (but still the same fuckers) GENERATION PART TWO

The spring of 1969 was a special time. That's when Dick Cheney met Donald Rumsfeld. It was love at first sight.

They served together in the Nixon Administration and, for at least three years, the world was their oyster. They learned to skirt around pesky issues like the Bill of Rights, flick their bic lighters at the Constitution, how to use the press as a propaganda machine, and how to destroy people that got in their way. And then a sad thing happened.

Watergate. There was no denying it. People in the Nixon administration broke the law and Tricky Dick tried to cover it up. The press suddenly turned against them and before they knew it, Dick and Don saw a peanut farmer from Georgia being sworn in. God, how that must have been awful for them.

I suspect that it was around this time that the two of them had lunch together. This is pure conjecture, mind you, but I suspect the conversation went something like this:

DON: Well, this sucks.
DICK: Sucks, dude.
DON: We had it all and we got caught. Well, at least we didn't get caught.
DICK: Yeah, God I hate the press. I wish we could control them like Goebels did. What a brilliant man! This blows.
DON: Maybe someday.....I wish that we could just do whatever we want and no one will question us. Too much stuff comes out. We just need to classify everything....fucking historians. People need to learn and know LESS not more. They are easier to manipulate that way.
DICK: You know what we need? We need to find a candidate that's not very bright. Maybe someone who is down on his luck. Someone that people in the south can rally around. We can really control those folks down there. Talk about the Bible, guns, and gays....and we're back, baby!
DON: It would have to be someone really lazy. Someone who doesn't want to work all that hard. Then we could run things behind the scenes. I'll tell you what I want is some of that oil from the Middle East, that's for sure. We get that kinda money and then we can start manipulating whole countries. And ours, too. People love their cars!

DICK: I have some pals in business that could really help us out on this one. We could give them tax breaks. Think of it. All we need to do is get about 40-50 million people to believe that we have good, decent morals and these hippie scumbags, that are ruining our country, don't have them.
DON: Yeah, you know how this country is...everyone loves a winner but people love a RICH winner more. Hee Hee!
DICK: Haw Haw...good one Don! But you know what we really need? A Pearl Harbor like event to really scare the shit out of people so...y'know...everyone will be afraid and all and then we can REALLY do whatever we want. People will be shitting themselves, can't you see it? "Oh, please protect me," they'll say, "I don't care how many of my freedoms you take away....help us, please!"
DON: Yeah, I can totally see that dude. And then the rest of the country will hate us and it's perfect. Divide and conquer, baby!




DICK: Hey, you know what? Maybe, we could do what our pals in Texas did to that traitor Kennedy....just...you know....look the other way if something comes along that could help us.....
DON: Yeah.....

That's how I bet it started....in the wind.

And there is documentation to back this up. The Project For the New American Century, a conservative think tank that Cheney and Rumsfeld have been heavily involved with over the years, had the following to say in the publication Rebuilding American's Defenses in September of 2000:

Further, the process of transformation, even if it brings revolutionary change, is likely to be a long one, absent some catastrophic and catalyzing event..like a new Pearl Harbor.

This quote appears in Chapter V, entitled "Creating Tomorrow's Dominant Force", which discusses the perceived need for the Department of Defense to "move more aggressively to experiment with new technologies and operational concepts."

But do you know what my favorite quote is?

Don Rumsfeld told talk show host Larry King that at eight o'clock on the morning of the 9-11 attacks he was meeting with Congressmen. During the meeting, Mr. Rumsfeld says that he stated to the group "sometime in the next two, four, six, eight, ten, twelve months there would be an event that would occur in the world that would be sufficiently shocking that it would remind people again how important it is to have a strong healthy defense department."

That is exactly what they have right now.

Loyal readers, Dick Cheney and Don Rumsfeld have realized their dream. We have a society that is completely divided and afraid. On the one hand we have the liberals who are unorganized, scared to say anything, and have no central message with which to challenge Bush Co.

On the other hand we have the conservatives who have effectively brainwashed an entire generation of people in the exact same way that Hitler Co. did. They can do pretty much whatever they want and if they are questioned, then they cry partisan politics or treason. It's perfect!

Some of my conservative friends think that Cheney, Rumsfeld and the rest of the neocons aren't that bad...that they are the minority. Well, they are THAT bad and if weren't not careful it's going to get worse. They are NOT in the minority. They are running or ruining, as it is more appropiate, our country.

Cheney and Rumsfeld planned well for the future. They knew then what sort of condition the country would have to be in to seize control and now they have it. Sure, the polls might show that people hate them but no one is doing anything about it. And if they do, they are ridiculed endlessly on talk radio.

Dick and Don have their revenge for Watergate. We have a country filled with people now who blindly believe in anything George Bush says or does. Even though, in my mind, he is nothing more than a criminal.

In the end, it may well be true, that he may not be charged with any of the six transgressions I mentioned in last week's column. None of those items, though, can really hold a candle to the worst failure of all on the part of this president: the complete and utter disregard for the two men directly responsible for the 9-11 attacks.

Osama Bin Laden and Dr. Ayman al Zawahari are still at large and, the last time I checked, planning a major attack on the United States. The sad thing is that if it does happen, the same shit will happen all over again. People like Laura Ingraham, Rush Limbaugh, and Sean Hannity will all say that it is our fault for not supporting the president's policies.

At least 40-50 million of us will gladly cheer them and the sound of democracy ending will be that of thunderous applause.

WATERGATE: THE NEXT (but still the same fuckers) GENERATION PART ONE

In the Sunday paper, a week ago, I picked up the Opinion section to read a column by Garrison Keillor. The jist of the article was that the United States Congress should impeach President Bush. I admit that I chuckled to myself and said outloud, "Well, that will never happen, " to which my wife, in the other room, replied, "Who are you talking to? What?" This sort of thing happens often in our house as I have many conversations with newspapers, web sites, blogs, and news channels.

The column stirred something in me, though. I recalled an article on page 900 of that "liberal rag" the New York Times, back in 2003, in which a Democratic congressmen, John Conyers, from Michigan called for an impeachment of the President on the ground that he lied about our reasons for going to war with Iraq. I remember chuckling when I read that as well. Looking back, I wonder why the media chose to bury that story and really hasn't talked much about it since that time.

The same column also made me think of a comment that was made recently on Real Time with Bill Maher. Graydon Carter, Editor of Vanity Fair, said that if you were to tell a person in the year 2000 what the United States would look like in the year 2005, they probably wouldn't believe you. Our country has gone so far away from what it should be that it is, quite simply, a travesty. The United States of 2005 looks nothing like the Unites States of 2000. I did not chuckle at all upon hearing this charge. Why?

Because I realized that our country now reminds of a lot of the 1972-74 United States of America. We all fondly remember those days, don't we? When our president lied, broke the law and resigned. And several members of his staff went to prison for breaking all sorts of laws. Isn't it soooooooo funny that my two pals, Dick Cheney and Don Rumsfeld, just happened to be serving in the government during that time.

Dick Cheney's political career began in 1969, during the Nixon administration. He held a number of positions in the years that followed, including serving on the Cost of Living Council, at the US Office of Economic Opportunity as a special assistant to Donald Rumsfeld beginning in the spring of 1969.

Speaking of the devil, Don Rumsfeld resigned from Congress in 1969 during his fourth term to serve in the Nixon Administration as Director of the US Office of Economic Opportunity, Assistant to the President, and a member of the President's Cabinet (1969-1970); Counselor to the President, Director of the Economic stabilization Program; and member of the President's Cabinet (1971-1972).

So, all of these things have been percolating in my mind and have sort of coalesced into this week's topic. The same people that were abusing power back then are abusing it today. The only difference is that this time they are succeeding beyond their wildest dreams.

The difference between today and yesterday is that are at least 40 million people in this country that, unless President Bush is caught with a live boy or a dead girl, will believe anything the White House says. And they will never, EVER, believe that a Democrat could do a better job.

Democrats, as an ultra-conservative told me recently at a party, should all be killed for treason. Thank god he is currently serving in the armed forces, eh? Because we all know that a Democrat could neeeeeeeeeeever support our troops, right?

At the very least, I think that Bush Co have done the WORST job in the history of our country running our government and they should be fired for gross negligence i.e. a recall vote similar to California. At medium best, I think Bush should be impeached and let's have the Congress poke around into all the shit the White House has been getting into lately. And at the very best, I think Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Rove, and few other folks should go to jail.

You can call me crazy, if you want, but President Clinton was impeached by the Senate for lying about having extramarital sex. Thus far, Bush Co has lied about or concealed the truth about (and this is just the short list):

1. WMDs in Iraq. Looking back at President Bush's speeches we see him say over and over again that Saddam Hussein has weapons of mass destruction. Today, we know that he did not as we had pretty much destroyed his program in the first Gulf War. Bush pointed the finger at faulty intelligence so either our government is inept or liars. Which makes you feel better? And why are our young men and women sacrificing their lives again?



2. Hurricane Katrina Response. President Bush said they had no idea that they levees would break and yet there is video out that clearly shows the President being informed that there was a danger of severe flooding in New Orleans. He told everyone that the Federal Government was ready. Again, he is either inept or a liar.

3. NSA Wiretaps. He concealed the truth about domestic spying and then used the old line about how the release of this information helps the enemy. Gee, I guess the terrorists had NOOOOOOOOOOO idea whatsoever that someone could be listening to them. There are good arguments on both sides of this issue but I really have to call into question the people that are so afraid that they are willing to give up freedoms and give the executive branch of government more power (regardless of whether or not it is legal).

4. Signed off on a deal to let a nation that supports terrorism (UAE) administer six our ports. I think the facts here speak for themselves.

5. Cheney outed a CIA agent to retaliate for said agent's husband's critical comments about the the Iraq War. This is clearly against the law. If Al Gore had done it, the Republicans would demand that he be put in prison immediately.

6. Prisoner Abuse. A touchy issue with me as I think that Al Qaeda would torture our men and women without batting an eyelash. But aren't we supposed to be better than that? Didn't we sign the Geneva convention? And why is Zaccarias Moussoui, a known accomplice in 9-11, being treated well in prison and the enemy combatants at Guantonomo Bay being tortured.?

Gasp! Wait. I just realized something. By saying all of these things, I am helping the evildoers. I am aiding and abetting the enemy. I must not be a patriot. Oh no.....

And now you see the culture that these people have created. Our current government has created a country where no one is allowed to question authority. If you do, then you are branded a traitor. I don't think many of you reading this know how dead fucking serious these people are about controlling us. I have seen it in person and in recent documentaries like This Divided State.

And THAT is how our government is like Hitler's. Sure, we will not see people rounded up and sent to camps. But we have seen a concerted effort on the part of the NCDs (Neo Con Douchebags) in this country to effectively silence or make a fool of anyone who speaks up.

Pick up any newspaper, turn on any news station, or listen to any radio show....Especially the right wing shows....and you will hear the government's propaganda machine percolating along.

I know that the NCDs think that all these accusations are a liberal plot to destroy our way of life and help the enemy.....That's a given. But I think, and this is coming from someone who has voted for several Republicans in my voting career, that it is FUCKING MUCH WORSE than the Clinton deal and we, as citizens, should be ashamed for letting this sham continue.

The sham actually began 30 years ago when my best pals Dick Cheney and Don Rumsfeld served under the great bastion of presidential honesty, Dick Nixon. But how does that relate to today? Why did I mention it? What do they hope to accomplish? How did it all begin and what is the ultimate goal of Cheney and Rumsfeld?

These questions will be answered in next week's column.

GRAB BAG VOLUME 3

Time for another Grab Bag. I have left off the "irritation" this time because I am going to rave about some cool shit in addition to ranting about some not so cool shit.

For this and future Grab Bags, please feel free to click on Comments below the column and leave your own rants and raves.

LOVING THE MONKEYS
The Arctic Monkeys are the best band in the world right now. Their premiere album, Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not, is totally MEGA. It is quite literally a generation defining album much in the same way as Sgt Pepper, London Calling, or Nevermind. They sound like The Beatles, The Jam, The Clash, The Libertines and Franz Ferdinand all rolled into one beautiful British cup of tea. I haven't been this taken by a band in a loooong time.

The lyrics of the album tell a story of what it's like to be young, hitting clubs, falling in love....all within the UK (yea, baby!) as the setting. And what a beautiful story it is...I can't say enough about how great this band sounds. They will be performing on Saturday Night Live this Saturday March 11th. You must own this record and see them live when they come to your town. Here's to Sheffield!!

THOSE HOLIDAY BLUES
Is it just me or is there a holiday every other week? And what is the deal with people taking them realllllllly seriously? Last May, I had a woman ask me what I was doing for the holidays to which I replied......"you mean Christmas in seven months?" She looked at me, with an ashen white, shocked face, and replied, "It's Mother's Day this weekend." So, Mother's Day is now "the holidays?"

When I was a kid, we celebrated Thanksgiving and Christmas and watched football on New Year's Day. And that was the end of "the holidays" until the next fucking year. These days, kids celebrate President's Day. What the?!!? Even more confounding is the fact that several business were shut down on President's Day this year.

Well, it's no wonder the US is lagging behind in the world....we take off stupid-ass holidays! Next thing you know everyone will be out fondling trees on Arbor Day for crying out loud!

GIANT COCK
Sean Hannity is a fucking douchebag. Does anyone out there actually believe that he is more than just a mindless sycophant? Last week, when everyone and their uncle in the newsmedia was talking about how stupid George Bush was with the whole ports deal, this toolbox (left) grudgingly ran a bit about DPW at the top his show, Hannity and Colmes, and then launched into a tirade about Al Gore. Gore, Hannity said, had accepted money from the bin Laden family to speak at an engagement in Saudi Arabia and so, therefore, he was a traitor.

Excuse me? Sean, do you really want to go down the path of "the Saudis and who, in our government, is friendly with them?" Especially the bin Ladens? I think that YOUR President has been fucking up so much lately that you have run out of material.

Fuck off, you no talent ass clown....I bet all your listeners, who think that you are "fighting the good fight" for the common folks, would be interested to know that you insist upon a private jet and tens of thousands of dollars to speak at events and functions.

And would someone please ring the producers of Hannity and Colmes and let them know that Alan Colmes should replaced by Markadelphia? That way, Sean can actually have a real man to spar with and not an alien-human hybrid like Mr Colmes.

AT LAST!
I guess more conservatives are listening to me now. Bruce Bartlett, longtime Conservative intellectual and Reagan aide, is releasing a book on how George Bush is basically full of shit, ruining this country, and (gasp!) not really a conservative. Mr Bartlett was recently fired from his job at the conservative think tank, The National Center for Policy Analysis, for being too critical, personally, of President Bush. His book arrived in stores on Feb 28th.

Many conservatives are also speaking out against the wiretaps now. Maybe it's because of....Uh....what is that thing again that they don't trust....um.....BIG GOVERNMENT? Oh yeah....that's it....good thing we don't have that now......yeeesh.

And, if that weren't enough, House republicans plan to rip the Bush administration a new one over the Katrina response and gross mismanagement of funds allocated for said disaster. Well, at least some people in our government have the spine to stand up to mountain of crap from the last five years. Lord knows the Democrats won't. And speaking of the Democrats...


LAME LIBS
For those of you who think I am too one sided, the Democrats really pissed me off two weeks ago when they forced Paul Hackett (left) out of the Senate race in Ohio. If there is ever a straight shooter, Paul is the one. If there are ever stupider people, the Democratic Leadership are the ones to beat.

Democratic Leaders like Charles Schumer and Harry Reid felt that Hackett's bluntness and coarse language would be unpopular with voters so they encouraged donors to give to his opponents. What a couple of toolboxes! Hackett, you may recall, nearly won a congressional seat in a largely Republican Ohio district last year. He called President Bush a "loser" and an "idiot" and referred to the Iraq War as "total fuck up" by the White House. He would know. He is the first Iraqi War Veteran to run for office.

He also said that the Republicans were being "hijacked by the religious right who aren't all the different from Osama Bin Laden." (Hee Hee...oh that is so funny....bwa hah hah....hoo hoo...hee)After he was asked to apologize, he said, "I stand by what I said."

A Democrat with balls?

I think I just came in my pants.

OIL FOR SNOW


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Every wonder where all that money goes to in the Middle East that we spend on oil? Well, look no further than the pictures above (provided to me by a fan of Notes From The Front).

The United Arab Emirates, currently in charge of the Department of Homeland Security, have a ski hill in Dubai.....in the middle of the desert.

That seems profoundly helpful and deeply beneficial to mankind. Thank goodness that they are using their money for something good instead of say....educating the Muslim world on how NOT to blow themselves up and kill people over art. And while we are on the subject of Dubai...

MORE PORTS SHIT
Rep. Peter King (R) of New York, chairman of the House Homeland Security Committee, said officials from the Homeland Security and Treasury departments told him weeks ago that their 30-day review of the deal did not look into the question of links between DP World and al Qaeda.

What in the fuck do we even have a Department of Homeland Security for? Holy Hannah, what a bunch of idiots.

Port of New Orleans (left)

THE TUBE
Battlestar Galactica (left) is the best show on TV. Laugh all you want because I know the 70s version was cheesy but the revamped version....dark and gritty.....is filled with deeply passionate acting and characters that are extremely well written.

I have found myself standing up, talking to the TV, and downright yelling during some episodes of this wonderful show because it is so fucking intense.


And the chicks are so hot, dude....my God, I feel like I am a 14 year old boy again every time Kara Thraice (played by Katie Sackhoff, above, right) comes on the screen. I definitely have plenty of whipped cream for that vanilla shake of hers......

It starts with a mini series and there are 2 DVD box sets available which are set immediately after the mini series. This show is so good....you must watch it.

I find it sad that NBC cancelled the wonderful show "The Book of Daniel." (left) Conservative Groups like the American Family Association fought to have the program off the air because it depicted a vicadin addicted Episcolpalian priest, with a gay son and pot selling daughter, who had regular conversations with Jesus Christ. So...I believe in Jesus....what's the problem here?

I think the show was an accurate, poignant potrayal of family life in the 21st century. It was also very funny. I think the Jesus character was played very honestly and humbly portrayed. Oh well, that's life in Bush country. They know what's best for me, I guess! And since they all KNOW EXACTLY what Jesus was like....well....we must submit to their vision!!!!!

You know what I love? People that decide for me what is good and what is bad. Here's a thought...if a show offends you...DON'T WATCH THAT SHOW!!. I loathe TV evangelists but they have a right to have their fucking show. Just like I have a right to watch Book of Daniel. I wanted to watch it but I can't now because of people in this country who want to DICTATE morality to me. Fuckers....

US DROPS TO NUMBER 2 IN THE WORLD
I know it's sad but it's true. Iran has replace the United States as the country with the most negative impact in the world. The study, which asked 39,435 people in 33 nations across the globe, listed Russia, China and India as rounding out the top five.

And the response from the NCD's (Neo-Con Douchebags)? "Ah, they's all a bunch of fir'ners. Let's kill 'em. And while you're at it, get me a Busch Light from the fridge, bitch. The race is a gonna be on right quick. Hee Haw!"

DRUGGED OUT IN MN
In an effort to further squeeze the American consumer out of his last nickel, US Customs has begun seizing prescription drugs from Canada claiming that they are illegal contraband. People in Minnesota have been hit particularity hard by this as these drugs are available to order through the State of Minnesota web site. Governor Pawlenty has championed this cause and now faces even more pressure from his pals in the Bush Administration to disallow this practice.

This issue really hits home for me as many elderly family members and friends that I know were skipping pills because they were too expensive. They started buying the pills from Canada because they were tons cheaper (and the exact same drug btw) and thus, they can take them everyday like they are supposed to do.


Yes, yes I know. American Pharmaceutical companies need that money for cancer research. NOT! What a bunch of bullshit.....classic spin...what they really need it for is to keep that salary up around 20 million a year so their golf buddy, Anderson T. Wilson, oil exec, doesn't poke fun of them at the next country club party. And we are stupid enough to put up with this?

FINAL WORD

And I can truly say that it is, too. For all of you NCDs out there that have claimed for years that the media is liberally biased, I have two words for you: SHUT THE FUCK UP! The media has never been liberally biased....most of the time acting like unofficial spokespeople for the government....and now a study has been done to back it up.

The study took the Sunday Morning News shows on ABC, CBS, and NBC as an example. From the years 1997-2005 the conservative voices on these shows consistently outrated the liberals in quantity. Another study, which set out strongly to find liberal bias in the media, failed because the study itself was too conservatively biased from the outset and, as a result, it became flawed.

Sorry, neo-cons, but the old "poor me" attitude about the liberal media won't fly anymore. You really need to give up on this one. It really is too bad when someone criticizes you, isn't it? Gosh, it's tough when reality hits you in the fucking head as you realize that you....yes YOU...are capable of making mistakes and someone else is actually going to call you on your shit. That doesn't mean that they are liberal for cripes sakes. Holy Hannah!

COMMENTS

How about you? What are you chawing on this week? Good or bad....leave some comments below..................