The FINAL Word

Ok. That's it. I have had it. I have just received the final straw, via yet another dumb ass email from a NCD, that has broken this camel's back. I can't take it anymore and I am putting this subject to rest once and for all. So here it is:

The media is not liberal.

Once again, for the red states, THE MEDIA IS NOT LIBERAL!!!

Between the emails that I receive everyday and posts on this blog, there are some people that need some serious education in regards to their completely ignorant view of the media and so, after devoting a line or quip here and there, it's time I showed these folks what they probably don't know or refuse to see.

How am I going to do this? First, let's define media. Well, most people watch television and listen to the radio. This country has decided, in the last five and a half years, that reading is for fags so I am leaving the New York Times etc. out of this conversation except to say that I laugh my fucking ass off when a NCD spouts off about the evil, liberal New York Times...Especially after Judith Miller went to jail for Dick Cheney, they sat on the NSA wiretaps story for a year, they constantly run "warm, fuzzy stories" about President Bush (like the one last week about his 60th birthday), and they negotiated, along with the Washington Post and Wall Street Journal, with Bush Co for weeks on how to "release" the information about the government gaining access to private citizens financial transactions. God, what a bunch of commies!

Really, though, most Americans watch TV so let's take a look at the major news outlets. Fox News is owned by News Corp which is owned by Rupert Murdoch (left). He is a very conservative man who gives millions of dollars to conservative causes. So, I think we can all agree that he is not liberal.

Next we have CNN which is owned by Time Warner, which owns scores of film, music, and publishing companies. Hmm, giant corporate conglomerate....will they support the Democrats, who will not give them any tax breaks and actually take money away from them or the Republicans who will give them tax breaks and look the other way in any.....Questionable business decisions? My guess is the latter....so CNN is not a liberal, commie, anti-American pile of hogwash.

NBC/MSNBC is majority owned by General Electric. Here is a picture (left) of their CEO, Jeffrery Immelt. According to files from the Federal Election Commission Mr Immelt has made several large donations to the Republican Party over the years. He has made none to the Democratic Party.

They have a home in Connecticut that is worth several million dollars and host Republican fundraisers there on a regular basis. The CEO before Immelt was Jack Welch, best pal and golf buddy of George H.W. Bush.



ABC is owned by Disney Company. The CEO there is Robert Iger. Here is a picture of him (left). I think that the rule that applied for Time Warner applies here. Disney makes billions of dollars worldwide. Why would they seek to put out information, through ABC News, that would ultimately be harmful to their bottom line?

To me, Disney is the ultimate form of capitalism. They sell you the same movie over and over again...VHS, DVD, DVD-HD.....Because they know that your kids have you by the balls. Are you really going to deny them the latest Pixar DVD?

So, this corporate giant has a vested interest in keeping things status quo.

And now we come to the NCDs favorite whipping boy....CBS. Ah, Dan Rather. The butt of every joke in the conservative locker room. Funny, though, I despise Dan Rather too, not for his supposed liberalness, but because 40 years on the man is still suffering from the delusion, based solely on the conviction of his own vanity, that Oswald was the lone assassin against Kennedy.

It might interest all of you to know that CBS is owned by Viacom, another giant corporate conglomerate, which was run, until recently by this man (left)....Sumner Redstone. Viacom is now run by Tom Freston but Mr. Redstone is still the Chairman of the Board. His estimated net worth is 7.7 billion dollars. He contributed large quantities of cash to the Bush campaign in 2000 and 2004 and is a staunch conservative, attending several Republican events and fundraisers. He has never donated any money to Democratic election campaigns or causes.

So, let's take a look at these men and the companies they run. You tell me, does this group of ridiculously rich, white men look like the liberal kooks that the right makes them out to be? Do you honestly think that these men would do anything to harm their bottom line? Do they look like they are going to be out giving out welfare checks to a mom with 7 kids on crack? Or do they look like President Bush might run into them by on Hole #4?

I think that the NCDs have developed a very clever strategy of putting out large quantities of propaganda and disinformation that would make George Orwell proud It is designed to make people believe that everything on the news is a lie. Then, the people will turn to the government for all of the "correct" information and the zombie idiot making machine rolls merrily along.

And as far as radio is concerned, don't even talk to me about anything even remotely liberal on the radio. Air America's reach, while getting stronger, is nothing compared to the plaque that is infecting most rural areas of our country. The fact is that if you live in a remote area, the only radio, other than the shit kicker FM station, is Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, or Laura Ingraham. Those stations are all owned by Clear Channel Communications, another corporate conglomerate, which is just to the right of Adolph Hitler, politically speaking.

Much of this information I have discussed here is detailed in the wonderful film, Orwell Rolls In His Grave. The film details that much of the media is just a subsidiary of Corporate America. Their agenda is not liberal but to make money. Complicated stories of corporate involvement in the run-up to the Iraq War, scandals involving rich white buddies of the ones picture above, serious abuses of power, and stark tragedies never make the news because stories of abducted white women and black men robbing convenient stores are considered popular.

I used to laugh at the absurdity of the Jerry Springer show and now, the same general themes and attitude are on every single newscast and cable news station on a nightly basis. The film also examines, among other things, the shocking revelations that two children of the Supreme Court justices, who voted that George Bush won the election in 2000, later got jobs in the Bush administration.

A review from Amazon. com states that "the film states, in very plain detail, that the U.S. media is an ANTI-democratic force, a weapon of "doublespeak,", a subsidiary of corporate America which shapes and determines the legality, constitutionality, and 'facts' of democratically newsworthy events and issues from official, inside sources, instead of(and quite OPPOSED TO, in fact) true journalism, or even any vague sense of it."

So, the next time same moron comes at you with their "liberal" media garbage, ask them if they know who owns the media. Point out the details I have listed above and urge them to watch the movie, Orwell Rolls In His Grave.

Or you can just chuckle and walk away knowing what is really going on with those lying, liberal bastards on the news!

GRAB BAG VOLUME 4

Sorry about the "no column" last week. I am working on a column about the "liberal" media and it is slow in coming. So rather than throw out a half ass piece, I thought I would work on it some more and, in the meantime, do another Grab Bag.



SOOOOOOOOO WRONG
There seems to be a pattern lately of people coming up to me and telling me how badly they feel about voting for Bush Co in 2004. This is also true of people in the media, including Doug McIntyre the morning man on KABC. He wrote an extremely long apology recently on how deeply sorry he is for supporting Bush. In the letter, he called Bush "the worst two-term President in the history of the country. Worse than Grant. I also believe a case can be made that he is the worst President, period." Huh. Well, that's news to me! I wonder how long I will have to wait for apologies from just-Dave, Crabmaster, and my Uncle Bill? I think when the first ice flow is sighted in hell....

You can read the full apology here. And speaking of our president....

COURT TO BUSH: NO!
Hey, maybe the systems of checks and balances does work. The Supreme Court ruled, 5-3, this week that the Bush administration could not conduct prosecution of Gitmo prisoners the way they have been. Aw, shucks, I guess torturing the shit out of people is out now. Too bad..because I was hoping we would become even MORE like the animals we are trying to stop.

Oh well, back to the fucking drawing board!




MY FAVORITE GOVERNOR
Governor Tim Pawlenty gave a speech at the Republican State Convention when he accepted his party's nomination. He said the following:

I can tell you what your worst nightmare is. It's one of the big-spending, tax raisin, abortion promotin', gay marriage embracin', more welfare without accountability lovin', school reform resistin', illegal immigration-supportin' Democrats for governor who believe that Hillary Clinton should be president of the United States.

Huh. It's a good thing that conservatives aren't into fear mongering at all. And big spending? How can he say that with a straight face after the last six years of drunken frat boy-with daddy's-credit card spending that this administration has done?

CHRISTIANITY UPDATE
Hey, did everyone hear? Guns are cool now at church. Especially when a convicted felon is bringing them along! Grace Church in Eden Prairie, Minnesota recently co-sponsored an event along with AM 1280 (The Patriot) to salute our veterans with Oliver North as their speaker. Hmmm...nothing shows more respect to our veterans than having as your guest speaker a man who was convicted on three federal counts....after pleading it down from sixteen. I guess morals and family values are pretty high over there at Grace Church.

And a 21 gun salute at a church? When I think of Jesus Christ, the first image that comes to my mind is a large collection of guns. Yeah, that's what he was all about.

Oh, and if you visit their web site you can sign a petition to help people to know the "truth" about that direct-from-satan book, The Da Vinci Code.




ANN COULTER: FELON?
Could it be true? Did the Queen Bitch of the Universe break the law? Apparently, Ann Coulter violated the law when she illegally voted in the wrong district in Florida in a special election in earlier this year. In Florida, that is felony and now she is currently under investigation for what some witnesses have called a "bizarre" incident involving her usage of her real estate agent's address as her own address.

Nothing would please me more to see this sad excuse for a human being serving as Big Bertha's cigarette bitch in Cell Block D. Her delusional support of Bush Co goes way beyond mentally challenged...driving her to say things like the widows of the 9/11 victims, in their criticism of the Bush Administration's piss-poor terror attack preparedness, were just after the limelight and were pawns of liberalism. I don't use this word often but Ann Coulter is a cunt. We need to completely and utterly ignore her until the end of time.




THE END TIMES
According to the Family Research Council, several Fortune 500 companies have tolerant policies towards gay people. Gasp! In addition to the horrendous transgression of actually hiring gay people, these companies, which include our very own Wells Fargo and Target Corporation, allow domestic "partners" to be included in benefits packages. The Council is calling for boycotts of these companies to show support for employees with "real" families.

I find it interesting that an organization that calls itself The Family Research Council has no understanding at all about what being a family actually means and needs to do some research itself. Tony Perkins, President of the Organization, can start by googling the words "Compassion" and "Jesus Christ." In addition, perhaps they should MIND THEIR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS!!!

THE BEST BLOG EVER, DUDE
In closing, I can't say enough good things about my friend Pete's music blog. It just keeps getting better and better. If you love music as much as I do, make it a regular surfing stop. You can find it here.

Well, that's all for this week, kids. How about you? Anything in your grab bag? Leave a comment below

Don't Get Your Gay On Me!!

In the last two weeks, the Republican leadership in Congress has decided to tackle three extraordinarily pivotal issues, the outcome of which could determine our very fate as a nation. So important are these issues that the Senate Majority Leader, Bill Frist, the one who sets the agenda in Congress, has said that he will not excuse the Senate until they solve these three problems!!!
They are:

1. Estate Tax. (aka the Paris Hilton law)
2. Flag Burning (an oldie but a goodie)
3. Gay Marriage.

If anyone wants to spend time on the first two items, feel free to leave your comments about these earth shattering issues in the comments section below. I, however, will be talking about that ol' favorite of faves....top of the pops issue on the mind of conservative lawmakers....gay people's personal lives!!

Let's hear it for that old hit from 2004 because, as we all know, conservatives across the country are shitting themselves at the thought of losing in November because the president they blindly supported is moronically incompetent and people are finally starting to wake up to that fact. And what better issue to dangle, carrot like, in front of their frustrated conservative base.

Before we go any further, let's take a look at some facts. Gay marriage is against the law in this country on both a federal and state level. Let me repeat myself because I am sure 29 percent of you didn't understand me the first time. Gay marriage is illegal in this country. So why does our government want to add an amendment to the Constitution stating the marriage is between one man and one women?

Because activist judges (aka judges who actually read the Constitution and understand what discrimination means) could allow these "people" to be married and, by gum, the Conservatives in Congress NEED to add a "double, anti-faggot, secret protection" law to the Constitution.

Interestingly, the chief sponsor of the marriage amendment, Wayne Allard, Republican Senator from Colorado, see here in this picture at left, seems to have....um...well....a male lover of his own. I am not sure who this person is to Mr. Allard's right but the look on his face reveals his innermost passions.

Do Bill Frist, Wayne Allard and the other cronies in Congress realize that: a) our country is at war, b) people are dying the war because our leaders are myopic and incompetent, c) 40 million people do not have health care in this country, d) hurricane season is upon us and we might want to start planning now, and e) there are terrorists that want to detonate a nuclear bomb in this country?

I guess not. Because the institution of marriage is under attack by sinners. Well, one sinner happens to be the daughter of Vice President Cheney. Mary Cheney was recently on CNN's The Situation Room talking about her new book, Now It's My Turn : A Daughter's Chronicle of Political Life. Ms. Cheney stated that Bill Frist is just plain wrong. The discrimination that is going on against homosexuals is akin to what happened 40 years ago with interracial marriage. The Republican Party is behind the times and if they want to survive they need to stop treating gay people like 3/5 ths of a person.

I believe they need to go one step further. Conservatives need to "know" gay people. People in this country are woefully ignorant of gay people and what they are really like. I know several gay people and count at least a half dozen among my closest friends. Sadly, it seems that the media, supposedly rife with homosexuals, is part of the problem as well.

Earlier this year, a show called "Welcome to the Neighborhood," produced by ABC was shelved because the subject matter was deemed too controversial. The reality show told the story of a gay couple, with adopted son in tow, moving in to a conservative neighborhood. As the show progressed, several neighbors gave testimonials about how their bias changed in time as they got to know the gay couple. In other words, they went from slinging homophobic barbs to feeling regret at their sub-human behavior.

It played out, in my mind, in the same way our country could begin to embrace gay people as intregal parts of our society. ABC really missed the boat here but, hey, that's the "liberal" media for you!!

Maybe what our country needs is a program similar to the Netherlands. In order to become a citizen in Holland, each prospect must view a series of images which reflect everyday life in the country. Several photos and videos include men having sex with men and women having sex with women. The idea here is to root out people, in this case Islamists, who go berserk and start shooting people due to offense taken at homosexual acts. If candidates are offended, they are asked to withdraw their application for membership.

Imagine, if you will, Markadelphia armed with photos and videos of gay men and women....maybe not having sex (too personal) but, say, paying their mortgage while holding hands. Or reading to their children. Or (gasp) mowing their lawn with a large gas powered implement! Ah, yes, I can hear the cries of discontent screaming from the right already.

Bringing this down to a personal level, the other day when I dropped my daughter of at school I saw a 700 Club bumper sticker on a parent's car that said "Marriage= (male symbol) + (female symbol) ." My first reaction was to have a little chat with the fucking idiot who was driving that car (I restrained myself.) Why? Because my daughter, who can read and understand symbols, asked me about it. She wanted to know why my wife and I were "married" and our neighbors, Carrie and Ann, who have two children were not "married." Why can't two women or two men be married, she asked?

Taking my wife's advice, which is to never lie to my children, I told her it was because people in this country are ignorant and they haven't advanced along enough on the evolutionary ladder to understand that we are all equal in the eyes of God.

After I told her all of this she was quiet for a minute or so and then said (completely true, btw),"Well, maybe if they just read the Bible and learn about how Jesus loves everyone no matter what then they wouldn't be so angry."

Pearls of wisdom from the future of our country.

The Last Human Being

Last week US Armed Forces targeted and killed the self proclaimed leader of Al Qaeda in Iraq, Abu Musab al-Zarqawi. My initial reaction was one of great relief that such a high profile terrorist finally met his end. He has been responsible for many, many deaths of US soldiers, Iraqi citizens and scores of other people in Iraq. His hideous decapitation of Nic Berg, a private contractor in Iraq, was truly despicable. So, this was a good thing, right?

I remember the whole Nic Berg thing and how truly horrible it was. So when I saw an interview with his dad, Michael Berg (below) I decided to give the article a read. Here is the interview:

O'BRIEN: Mr. Berg, thank you for talking with us again. It's nice to have an opportunity to talk to you. Of course, I'm curious to know your reaction, as it is now confirmed that Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, the man who is widely credited and blamed for killing your son, Nicholas, is dead.
MICHAEL BERG: Well, my reaction is I'm sorry whenever any human being dies. Zarqawi is a human being. He has a family who are reacting just as my family reacted when Nick was killed, and I feel bad for that. I feel doubly bad, though, because Zarqawi is also a political figure, and his death will re-ignite yet another wave of revenge, and revenge is something that I do not follow, that I do want ask for, that I do not wish for against anybody. And it can't end the cycle. As long as people use violence to combat violence, we will always have violence.


O'BRIEN: I have to say, sir, I'm surprised. I know how devastated you and your family were, frankly, when Nick was killed in such a horrible, and brutal and public way.
BERG: Well, you shouldn't be surprised, because I have never indicated anything but forgiveness and peace in any interview on the air.
O'BRIEN: No, no. And we have spoken before, and I'm well aware of that. But at some point, one would think, is there a moment when you say, 'I'm glad he's dead, the man who killed my son'?
BERG: No. How can a human being be glad that another human being is dead?
O'BRIEN: There have been family members who have weighed in, victims, who've said that they don't think he's a martyr in heaven, that they think, frankly, he went straight to hell ...
You know, you talked about the fact that he's become a political figure. Are you concerned that he becomes a martyr and a hero and, in fact, invigorates the insurgency in Iraq?
BERG: Of course. When Nick was killed, I felt that I had nothing left to lose. I'm a pacifist, so I wasn't going out murdering people. But I am -- was not a risk-taking person, and yet now I've done things that have endangered me tremendously. I've been shot at. I've been showed horrible pictures. I've been called all kinds of names and threatened by all kinds of people, and yet I feel that I have nothing left to lose, so I do those things.
Now, take someone who in 1991, who maybe had their family killed by an American bomb, their support system whisked away from them, someone who, instead of being 59, as I was when Nick died, was 5-years-old or 10-years-old. And then if I were that person, might I not learn how to fly a plane into a building or strap a bag of bombs to my back?
That's what is happening every time we kill an Iraqi, every time we kill anyone, we are creating a large number of people who are going to want vengeance. And, you know, when are we ever going to learn that that doesn't work?
O'BRIEN: There's an alternate reading, which would say at some point, Iraqis will say the insurgency is not OK -- that they'll be inspired by the death of Abu Musab al-Zarqawi in the sense of he was turned in, for example, we believe by his own No. 2, No. 3 leadership in his ranks.
And, that's actually them saying we do not want this kind of violence in our country. Experts whom we've spoken to this morning have said this is a critical moment where Iraqis need to figure out which direction the country is going to go. That would be an alternate reading to the scenario you're pointing to.
BERG: Yes, well, I don't believe that scenario, because every time news of new atrocities committed by Americans in Iraq becomes public, more and more of the everyday Iraqi people who tried to hold out, who tried to be peaceful people lose it and join -- what we call the insurgency, and what I call the resistance, against the occupation of one sovereign nation.
O'BRIEN: There's a theory that a struggle for democracy, you know...
BERG: Democracy? Come on, you can't really believe that that's a democracy there when the people who are running the elections are holding guns. That's not democracy.
O'BRIEN: There's a theory that as they try to form some kind of government, that it's going to be brutal, it's going to be bloody, there's going to be loss, and that's the history of many countries -- and that's just what a lot of people pay for what they believe will be better than what they had under Saddam Hussein.
BERG: Well, you know, I'm not saying Saddam Hussein was a good man, but he's no worse than George Bush. Saddam Hussein didn't pull the trigger, didn't commit the rapes. Neither did George Bush. But both men are responsible for them under their reigns of terror.

Under Saddam Hussein, no al Qaeda. Under George Bush, al Qaeda.
Under Saddam Hussein, relative stability. Under George Bush, instability.
Under Saddam Hussein, about 30,000 deaths a year. Under George Bush, about 60,000 deaths a year. I don't get it. Why is it better to have George Bush the king of Iraq rather than Saddam Hussein?

And then cometh the right wing shitstorm...and with it, a change in MY attitude.

Everyone from Laura to Rush to the psychos on ham radio went ape shit and called Michael Berg....the man who lost his son to a decapitation for fuck's sake....a PUSSY!

Ah, America. What a special place. According to Mr Berg, this is not a recent occurrence. Apparently, when has spoke of peace and trying to get along with everyone, people have.....THREATENED HIM AND SHOT AT HIM? You know, you really gotta love this fucking place. I guess they proved him right!!

I am absolutely disgusted at the reaction to this interview especially by Laura Ingraham (left). She made a joke out of it and said, "Well I am happy that he is dead!" This coming from the same woman who two weeks previous had proudly proclaimed how she is Pro Life. Well, which is it honey? If you think all life is sacred, why is this OK?

The Red States of America answer is: Killin' is alright when WE judge them to be bad. God has given America the power to judge people and it is our job to carry out His judgment.

Now, my rant here aside, I don't think we should stop looking for Bin Laden or al Zawahari. It is clear to me that they will stop at nothing to detonate a nuclear device in our country. They have declared these intentions and we need to stop them. It is unfortunate and sad but NOT our fault.

Iraq is our fault. Abu Musab al-Zarqawi is our fault and reading the interview made me realize that there is a very clear distinction between him and bin Laden. Zarqawi was "created" by our own foreign policy. He saw an opportunity to make himself into something bigger than he would ever be. The proof of how much of a Noriega-like buffoon he was is in a hilarious video of him trying to fire a gun. He can't figure out how to clear the gun when it jams for crying out loud. Bin laden, on the other hand, knows how to fire a gun, and the last time I checked, was ACTUALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR THE 9-11 ATTACKS.

So, while all you chuckleheads out there in zombie land are drinking Busch Light and firing your guns into the air to our "victory" in Iraq, maybe you should take a step back and listen to the words of man who actually has lost someone over there. Ask yourself, is there any truth to what he is saying? Can we change?

Can we?

You're In The Jailhouse Now

A few weeks back, an ultra conservative friend of mine, whom we will call Chet, forwarded an email to me about a very special place. In Maricopa County, Arizona, Sheriff Joe Arpaio has set up a "real" prison. Unlike the luxury prisons in the rest of the country, where anal rape, HIV transmission, nightly beatings/stabbings and bribery occur, Sheriff Joe's prison is a really TOUGH one.


Sheriff Arpaio (left) has jail meals down to 40 cents a serving and charges the inmates for them. He stopped smoking and porno magazines in the jails, and took away their weightlifting equipment and cut off all but "G" movies. He started chain gangs so the inmates could do free work on county and city projects. Then he started chain gangs for women so he wouldn't get sued for discrimination.

He took away cable TV until he found out there was a federal court order that required cable TV for jails. So he hooked up the cable TV again only allowed the Disney channel and the weather channel. When asked why the weather channel he replied, so they will know how hot it's gonna be while they are working on my chain gangs. He cut off coffee since it has zero nutritional value. When the inmates complained, he told them, "This isn't the Ritz/Carlton.If you don't like it, don't come back."




He bought the Newt Gingrich lecture series on videotape that he pipes into the jails. When asked by a reporter if he had any lecture series by a Democrat, he replied that a democratic lecture series might explain why a lot of the inmates were in his jails in the first place.

The response at the end of the email was:

Way to go, Sheriff! Maybe if all prisons were like this one there would be a lot less crime and/or repeat offenders. Criminals should be punished for their crimes - not live in luxury until it's time for their parole, only to go out and commit another crime so they can get back in to live on taxpayers money and enjoy things taxpayers can't afford to have for themselves.

The email left out the fact that, according to the Phoenix Times, Sheriff Joe "was once Arizona's most popular politician. But his popularity is plummeting as the public learns details of horrendous jail conditions, reckless police operations and Gestapo-like activities against political rivals. "

He also seems to have a habit of having a perfectly prepared statement anytime a camera or microphone is aimed in his direction. And a closer look at Maricopa County's rate of repeat crimes shows that it is among the worst in the country. But hey, who am I to argue with the reality that this email has created?

Ah, conservative fear-mongering and paranoia. It is soooo grounded in fact and reality it's almost hard to question, isn't it? I guess my first question is this: does Chet feel that because I am a "liberal" (whatever that means), that I am FOR crime? Apparently he thinks that Democrats across the country are holding hands with convicts, supplying them with baby oil and porn, and making sure that all victims of crimes are actually the ones punished.

Is this the right wing mentality? And they call left wingers too full of emotion and not grounded in fact? What a bunch of fucking nonsense! Do you want to know why I will NEVER be a conservative
(whatever that means)? It is because of this complete sack of bullshit email that was sent to me last month. Pardon me while I LAUGH MY ASS OFF FOR THE REST OF THE SUMMER AT THIS COMPLETELY FUCKING IGNORANT, MOUTH-BREATHING POINT OF VIEW!!!



Chet, I hate to be the one to inform you of this but if you want to know why criminals are "running free" take a look in the fucking mirror. As I write this article, if someone is caught with an ounce or more of marijuana, they will serve mandatory prison time up to 25 years with NO eligibility for parole. If someone rapes or beats a woman, it is more than likely that they will be out of prison in less than two years, if they even go in at all, and this is according to the Hennepin County Sheriff's office. This is based on federal laws that were made by people that YOU voted for, Chet; CONSERVATIVE lawmakers and their leadership who don't want the drug trade interfering with their own drug business (aka the Pharmaceutical Industry).

So, just to recap: smoking a joint and listening to The Beatles: BAD! Time for prison, pal! Raping and beating the shit out of a woman: NOT AS BAD! Time off for good behavior. Oh, and how was she, by the way?

But, hey, you know what? I thought that maybe I should give Chet the benefit of the doubt so I decided to find out how our society was really treating convicted criminals in our very own state of Minnesota. I sauntered into my local police department and had a conversation with a sergeant there whom I will call Smith.

Sgt. Smith explained to me that the conditions in most prisons in Minnesota and around the country were actually quite unpleasant. (Gasp!) In addition to confirming that the items I mentioned in the first paragraph really do happen, he cited small, unwashed cells, disgusting clothes and laundry as well as harsh treatment of prisoners. When I asked him if the Democrats were at fault for all the criminals running around, he laughed and said that maybe crime would really be over in this country if our leadership in Washington would set a better example.

And his comment gave me a great idea.

Chet, maybe you, Joe Arpaio, and I have more in common than I thought. I have three perfect candidates for Sheriff Joe's prison camp:




















That's right, folks. Our president, vice president, and secretary of defense could all benefit from a stint in Sheriff Joe's prison to ponder the errors of their ways. The long days spent on a chain gang in 138 degree weather in pink shorts and eating green bologna would offer them time to reflect upon their crimes of negligent homicide, conspiracy to commit murder, theft, bribery, libel, and purgery. Rather than the Newt Gingrich videos, perhaps the staff of the tent prison could broadcast images such as this one:

This is one of the families that was shot in the head, execution style, by our very own Marine Corps in Hidatha, Iraq last November. The original cause of death was listed as a car bomb but now the Pentagon itself is saying that this was an actual massacre of innocent civilians by our armed forces. Notice the smaller body, second from left. That is a child. A CHILD!! A child that was shot in the head execution style. Take a look at that body and explain to me what justifies this action.




While the Marines involved clearly are responsible for these actions, our leadership sent them there in the first place. They put them in this position and they are the ones that are ultimately responsible for this atrocity.

What's that you say? The ol' liberal, Bush-hater Mark spouting off again?

Well, maybe we should ask Sergeant Smith's opinion. He told me that apparently, and this totally whackey, dude, but, hypothetically speaking, if Bob hires Jeff to go steal a can of gas from Jim and, in the course of the robbery, Jeff kills Jim then Bob is also guilty of murder. Huh. Imagine that.

So, Sheriff Joe, are you reading this? And can you do it without moving your lips? I have some new customers for you. Their names are George, Dick, and Don. I think they will fit in nicely with the rest of the murderers and thieves, don't you?

Wait. The image of a sweaty Dick Cheney in pink shorts eating a green bologna sandwhich came into my head.....hee hee...hoo hoo.....BWA HAH HAH AH AH....hey, maybe Sheriff Joe could teach him how to handle a gun! Hee Hee.......

Profiles In Courage (Part Six: We Are In A Different Place, Now)

For as long as I live, I will never EVER forget that day. I couldn't sleep the night before and woke up with a headache. My daughter was just 1 1/2 years old and I decided to take her to the gym so she could play in the nursery and I could work out. I had an appointment with a trainer and we were going to work on some volleyball specific training.


When I dropped off my girl, I heard one of the moms at the nursery say that it was "just crazy today." I thought she was talking about the kids there. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw CNN on the television and heard one of the other employees say that a helicopter had crashed into the World Trade Center. When I got down to see the trainer, my friend Ryan, informed me that America was under attack.

I sort of sleepwalked through the session, with Ryan and I talking about what was happening...who was under attack and where. After the hour was up, I picked up my daughter and went home to watch TV. The utter horror and devastation that unfolded before my eyes was tempered by the sight of one man and the sound of his voice...the person who I considered to be our leader for the next 48 hours.

His name was Rudy Giuliani.

Rudolph William Louis "Rudy" Giuliani III was born on May 28th, 1944 in Brooklyn, New York. He was raised in Garden City South on Long Island and attended Manhattan College before graduating from New York University School of Law magna cum laude in 1968. Between the years of 1970 and 1980 he rose to prominence in the field of Public Law eventually making it to Associate Attorney General, placing him in the third-highest position in the Department of Justice.

In a well-publicized 1982 case, Giuliani testified in defense of the US government's "detention posture" of interning over 2,000 unlawfully-immigrated Haitian refugees in refugee camps, at one point stating that there was "no political repression" under President Jean-Claude "Baby Doc" Duvalier (source: Wikipedia)

In 1983, Giuliani was appointed U.S. Attorney for the Southern District of New York. It was in this position that he first gained national prominence by prosecuting numerous high-profile cases, including the successful prosecutions of Wall Street figures Ivan Boesky and Michael Milke for insider trading. He also spearheaded the effort to jail drug dealers, combat organized crime, break the web of corruption in government, and prosecute white-collar criminals. He amassed a record of 4,152 convictions with only 25 reversals. (source: Wikipedia)

It was in 1983 that Giuliani indicted Marc Rich on charges of tax evasion and making illegal oil deals with Iran during the hostage crisis. (Sonds like my kinda guy!)

Mr. Giuliani ran for the Mayor of New York for the first time in 1989 as a Democrat AND a Republican ultimately losing the election to David Dinkins. He ran again in 1993 and defeated Dinkins by 56 thousand votes. He became the first Republican elected Mayor of New York City since John Lindsay won re-election in 1969.

Giuliani won primarily on his position on cracking down on crime. He felt that if smaller crimes such as jaywalking or turnstyle jumping were actually prosecuted, the trickle effect of actually obeying the law would spill over into larger crimes. It worked. Crime dropped drastically in New York City.

Many critics cited an improved economy as the main reason why crime dropped nationwide in the 1990s but I believe that Rudy really cleaned up New York by showing people how to respect ALL law, regardless of who they were or what color they were. His early days of prosecuting white collar criminals carried over to his tenure as mayor as "Wall Streeters" found themselves with all sorts of misdemeanor citations!

On the morning of September 11, 2001, Mayor Giuliani felt as though he had become irrelevant. Primary season was about to begin and his term as Mayor was over. He had served his two terms and was finished. When news reached him that a plane had hit the First Tower at the World Trade Center, against the advice of his aides, he rushed to the scene to set up a command post. When the second plane hit, his temporary command post was almost destroyed with him in it. As the fire and glass burst into the sky, Mayor Giuliani looked up to the towers and saw people jumping out the buildings. He turned to one of his aides and said:

"We are in a different place, now."

As I write this, I can feel myself beginning to well up again at the thought of what happened on that day. The sadness that I feel at the loss of life on September 11th....why is it more powerful...more stinging....harder to overcome than when I see it every other day in the news?

Everyone has seen the pictures of people jumping but have any of you seen the ones after they have landed? I have seen a few and they are utterly horrific. I also remember video of that day called 9/11, shot by two French filmmakers, in which you could hear the bodies landing on the street. I look at all the bullshit going on in the news today and does anyone but me remember what happened? Does anyone still care?






I think Rudy Giuliani does and I will never forget his service to our country on that day. While President Bush was busy reading My Pet Goat and being secured in an undisclosed location, Mayor Giuliani, as Time Magazine put it, "took to the airwaves to calm and reassure his people, made a few hundred rapid-fire decisions about the security and rescue operations, and toured hospitals to comfort the families of the missing." (Time Magazine)

He was the one who seemed like he was in charge on that day and most of the next day as well. He made key decisions about how to organize rescue efforts, when to open the New York Stock Exchange, and attended funeral after funeral.

When Saudi Prince Alwaleed bin Talal suggested that the attacks were an indication that the United States "should re-examine its policies in the Middle East and adopt a more balanced stand toward the Palestinian cause," Giuliani met the assertion with defiance, declaring:

"There is no moral equivalent for this [terrorist] act. There is no justification for it... And one of the reasons I think this happened is because people were engaged in moral equivalency in not understanding the difference between liberal democracies like the United States, like Israel, and terrorist states and those who condone terrorism. So I think not only are those statements wrong, they're part of the problem."

With that, New York City rejected the prince's $10 million donation to disaster relief in the aftermath of the attack. (source: Wikipedia)

He tried to make some sense of what happened on that day. He looked as we all did: shocked, bewildered, and deeply saddened.

He was our "Everyman" and we saw 9-11 through his eyes and became a singular, collective broken heart.

I remember that every time I saw him on TV in front of that podium, I felt better. I have to admit that on more than one occasion during that day, I pretended he was our president.





Maybe in 2008 I won't have to pretend anymore. While he has not formally announced his candidacy, he is the leader in poll after poll for the Republican nomination for the Presidency. He easily beats Senator Clinton by over 10 points in every poll and is another example, like Colin Powell, who has across-the-board appeal.

Imagine any disaster with President Giuliani at the helm and you can instantly picture how he would react as we have already seen him in that capacity....decisive, strong, organized, and intelligent.....four traits that have been conspicuously absent these last six years.

So, Mr. Mayor, how about you throw your hat in the ring? You will probably get this "stinkin liberal's" vote.

Profiles In Courage (Part Five: The Reluctant Warrior)

I have always felt that the mark of good president would be a person who could easily admit his faults and learn from mistakes. On September 13, 2004, Colin Luther Powell testified before the Senate Governmental Affairs committee that his testimony of Feb 5th, 2003 to the UN regarding Saddam Hussein's weapons program was wrong and filled with half truths. Many people viewed this as a sign of weakness or capitulation to Bush critics.

I viewed it as a man who was telling the truth.

Colin Powell was born on April 5th, 1937 in the Bronx in New York. Powell was educated in the New York City public schools, and gained a bachelor's degree in geology from CCNY. While at City College Powell joined the ROTC. He later described it as one of the happiest experiences of his life: finding something he loved and could do well, he had "found himself". Powell was a professional soldier for 35 years, during which time he held a variety of command and staff positions and rose to the rank of 4-star General. Powell obtained an MBA from George Washington University in 1971 and then served a White House fellowship under President Richard Nixon.


During his service he received many awards, most from his service in the Vietnam War. They included the Legion of Merit with oak leaf cluster, the Bronze Star Medal with "V" device, Presidential Medal of Freedom, Presidential Citizens Medal and the Purple Heart. At the age of 49, Powell served as National Security Advisor under Ronald Reagan from 1987 to 1989. In 1989, he became the Chairman of of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, the youngest man to ever serve at that position and his last military position.

It was during this time that he earned the nickname "the reluctant warrior" citing diplomacy and containment as preferable to war. In his autobiography, My American Journey, he talks of being haunted by the Vietnam War and the utter inhumanity on both sides during the conflict. I believe it was there they he developed his distaste for bloodshed and an outspoken eagerness to solve international crisis peaceably.

In 1997 Powell founded America's Promise with the objective of helping children from all socioeconomic sectors. Powell often wears the logo of the organization in the form of a red wagon pin on his lapel.

In 2001, he became the Secretary of State of the United States, becoming the first African American to hold such a high rank in the government. He was perceived as a moderate in the administration and argued vociferously against invading Iraq as a part of the War on Terror. In the end, he was promised by President Bush that international support would prelude any invasion. He then gave his reluctant support.

When he gave his fateful UN Address in Feb of 2003, I believe that he thought he was doing the right thing for America. I also felt that he was telling the truth. Most of you probably don't remember or won't believe that I was originally a supporter of the War in Iraq. I, like General Powell, made a horrible mistake and am still having trouble forgiving myself. Powell announced on November 15, 2004 that he would be stepping down as Secretary of State and return to private life. I believe that he felt that his moderate voice was not being heard in an administration determined to pursue their reckless policy in Iraq.

Since leaving office, he has popped up here and there with very moderate criticism of the war and an unbelievably apologetic tone in regards to his involvement in the run up to the Iraq conflict. I am hoping this changes soon because I believe that the honest person inside of him is in conflict with the duty bound officer.

I think that the time is right for General Powell to stand up and tell us what he thinks about Bush Co. I believe that he was "quietly" courageous in countering the Rumsfeld/Cheney penchant for war in Iraq. His objections went under-reported and his thoughts unheard. I also think he would be an excellent candidate for the Presidency. Why?

I have always said that I yearn for a candidate who fully realizes the horrors of war. Done. I want someone who is honest. Done. His work with America's Promise shows that he cares about the future of our country by caring about its children. He is pro-choice, would be against any constitutional amendment banning gay marriage and is fiscally honest enough that many of our country's financial woes would be diminished under a Powell presidency. And that's not even what's really great about a Powell candidacy. Care to guess what that is?

EVERYONE loves him. Democrats, Republicans, Independents...hell, even Markadelphia, Just Dave, John Waxey, PL and Crabmaster Scratch would vote the same way if Powell ran. I wonder what would happen if we were all (shudder) in agreement about something?

Maybe our country could finally start out on a path to a better place. For real, this time. Imagine a country with citizens that all loved their president. That hasn't happened in a long time...at least 40 years.

So, what do you say, General Powell? How about one last tour of duty?

Profiles In Courage (Part Four: A Sacred Voice)

This Friday, May 19th, the much anticipated film adaptation of the best selling novel, The Da Vinci Code, by Dan Brown opens in theaters across the country. Throughout the course of this week and in the weeks after the film's release, I suggest that all of you buy as much stock in Fruit of the Loom, Jockey, and all other major producers of underwear. Why?


Evangelicals, Catholics, and other strict disciplinarians across the nation will be shitting themselves so much that the "last garment to be removed before the fun begins" could be an unusually scarce commodity. Pseudo-Christians around the country will be screaming at the top of their lungs about how "their" Jesus Christ is being attacked...as if Christ was owned personally by them...

Personally, I can't wait to see all the hubbub and brouhaha that is going to unfold in the next week. Protesters, malcontents, and strict religious fervents will all be lining up to blast the film and the book as being sacriledge, hogwash, and full of lies. I mean, the very thought, that Jesus could have been married and been a father as the result of (gasp!) relations with a woman. A WOMAN! What heresy! Everyone knows that all women are evil and should eternally be subordinate to men, right?

I know it's horrible to think that son of God could in anyway be normal, loving, caring or devoted. And you really can't blame Dan Brown. After all, his book is just a spy thriller. No...no the problem really lies within our own culture and our inability to accept that a woman was actually held in the highest esteem by the Son of God.

Most of the citizens of our great society, for all of its forward thinking, still believe that Mary Magdalene was a prostitute, a belief that was finally set right by the Catholic Church in the 1960s. She was, in fact, not a prostitute, but, in my opinion, the OD....Original Disciple. And I think, until recently, the lost voice of True Christianity.

What do I mean by True Christianity? Well, it's hard to find people like that in this country, that's for sure, what with all the folks here who are against abortion and yet have no problem with 100,000 dead Iraqi civilians.....many of them children.

True Christianity can be found in the New Testament (the parts about of loving each other, be tolerant, abhorring war, not judging people, respecting the earth) and the so called Gnostic gospels which detail another sort of history of the earliest followers of Jesus. These people believed in sacred feminine power, the divine goddess, and it's relation to the the natural energy our earth gives us. They believed in ancient healing techniques, Tantric sex, and the harmony of man's aggression with women's compassion.

Sadly, these people were at first ostracized and then executed by evil, gluttonous men who hijacked Christianity in the 4th century. These men knew that they could consolidate their power by using "their" version of the story of Christ to control and manipulate people....people who were better off, in their mind, NOT knowing about this ancient wisdom because after all, an ignorant population is easier to control.


Hmm...sounds familiar, doesn't it?

Well, it should because that is who is running all three branches of our government right now. Conservative lobbyists and right wing talk show hosts disseminate their propaganda to "educate" the public on what it means to be a Christian. There are a few people, thanks to Dan Brown, who are getting out the truth. One of them has carried the message of the sacred feminine to the 21st Century, inspired much of the Da Vinci Code, and become my favorite author in the last two years. Her name is Margaret Starbird.

Margaret Starbird (left) holds BA and MA degrees from the University of Maryland where she concentrated in comparative literature, medieval studies and German language, studies she pursued on a Fulbright Student Grant at the Christian Albrechts Universitat in Kiel, Germany. She later studied at Vanderbilt Divinity School in Nashville, TN.

Ms. Starbird's theological beliefs were profoundly shaken when she first encountered the suggestion that Jesus Christ was married and that his bloodline survived in Western Europe. Shocked by such heresy, this Roman Catholic scholar and former University instructor set out to refute it, but instead found compelling evidence in support of the forgotten Bride of Jesus.

She has lived and traveled extensively in Europe including pilgrimages to Black Madonna and Mary Magdalene shrines and Cathar citadels in Provence. Starbird and her husband of 37 years now reside in the Pacific Northwest. They have five grown children and two grand- children. Starbird conductnationwidede seminars and retreats honoring the Sacred Union at the heart of Christianity.

She has written several books on the subject including The Woman with the Alabaster Jar, Magdalene's Lost Legacy, The Goddess in the Gospels, The Feminine Face of Christianity, and the most recent Mary Magdalene: Bride in Exile. I urge all of you to read these books as I believe they represent the most courageous pieces of literature to be released in our times.

Ms. Starbird illustrates, through historical documents and evidence in the scriptures, the importance of Mary Magdalene in Christian history. If she was the Bride of the Jesus, than the history that we have been taught our entire lives is a half truth...a fabrication and distortion made to minimalize the role of the female in the last 2000 years.




In effect, Ms. Starbird illustrates how many of the world's ills could have been avoided if we had embraced the sacred feminine and restored the balance that should exist between man and woman.

Currently, we are out of this balance. Our society, and the world in general, is run by violent men who have lost touch with their feminine side and need to be reminded where it is. Or educated on how to find it. Now, I am not saying that Ms. Starbird would make a good president necessarily. But how abou Secretary of Education. Or Secretary General of the UN? She has been undeniably courageous in asserting what she profoundly believes. We NEED a voice like this in our leadership!!

Her ideas and beliefs need to be spread, particularly in this country. She has said

The "sacred union" of Christ and Magdalene which, I believe, was always at the heart of the Christian story, is only a model for this much deeper "partnership" of "God" and "man/woman"--the "divine" and the created vessel (each individual as well as the entire 'human family') in which it is incarnated.

These beliefs are not in contrary to many of the basic teachings of Jesus. In fact, I believe that if Christ was married, embraced the goddess power, fathered a child, and believed in harmony between and man and a woman that makes him MORE appealing as my savior. All of these idiots that are protesting this movie are missing this point completely.

For the record, I believe that Jesus is the Son of God, the King of Kings and is the most wonderful being to ever grace this planet. As with many of us, he had a partner who was with him every step of the way. She was his equal, his teacher, and his pupil.

She was Mary. She was his beloved. And, in these troubled times, we need to hear that sacred voice again.

Profiles In Courage: (Part Three: California Girl)

I had drinks recently with a female friend of mine who is every active in the local political scene. We spoke of many things: the state of health care in our country, terrorism, the education system....all the major issues we, as a nation, face everyday.

Towards the end of the conversation she said something to me that I thought was very poignant. "Y'know, Mark, the future of politics rests in the hands of women. The next president should focus their agenda on women's issues because that is where elections will be won and lost." We went on to discuss what those issues were. Most women, in poll after poll, consider health care, education, and the environment to be the most pressing issues of our time...not the war or the economy.

If you think about it, this really makes sense. Women make up the majority of voters in this country and being a mom myself, I have become deeply concerned about similar issues. I think about what kind of a place we are going to leave our children and then I look at what our current government is doing with health care, education, and the environment and it just isn't good enough. In fact, it's downright awful.

So, what better person to tackle women's issues than a.......WOMAN. Folks, we need a female president. It has been way too long. Not only do we need a female president, but we need female leadership overall. I am sick and tired of seeing a bunch of old, fat men in suits getting their guns off for four to eight years. Our country desperately needs someone who can put these three issues at the forefront of the country's agenda.

Surprisingly, there is a certain woman Senator in our government who has fought long and hard on these three issues and has achieved some success in addressing these concerns. She is extremely popular in her home state, winning her last election by a margin of 20 percentage points, the largest in direct election history.

Oh, and her first name is not Hillary. It's Barbara.

Barbara Levy Boxer was born on November 11, 1940 in New York. She attended Brooklyn College and got a degree in economics in 1962. She married Stewart Boxer and moved to Marin County California where she worked as journalist, congressional aide and the first female president of the Marin County Board of Supervisors.

She was elected to the US House of Representatives in 1982, representing Marin country, and served for five terms. During this time she has focused on human rights, environmental protection, military procurement reform and pro choice issues. She was also involved in seeking protection for whistleblowers in government, and pushed for higher budget allocations for health, biomedical research, and education.

In 1992 she was elected to the US Senate and has since served three terms. She almost didn't run in 2004 but decided that someone should "fight for the right to dissent" against the conservative agenda. In her terms as Senator she has:

1. Authored successful bipartisan legislation to accelerate America's contribution to the global war on AIDS.
2. Written a bill to make health insurance tax deductible and another bill to let any American buy into the same health insurance program that members of Congress have.
3. Supported comprehensive prescription drug coverage through Medicare and the right of all consumers to purchase lower-cost prescription drugs reimported from Canada.
4. Been a strong supporter of stem cell research.
5. Increased autism awareness
6. Introduced legislation providing federal funding for local after-school programs, which have been shown to increase student performance while decreasing juvenile delinquency, crime, and drug use. Her 'Computers in Classrooms' law encourages the donation of computers and software to schools.
7. Established the Excellence in Education award to recognize teachers, parents, businesses and organizations that are working to make positive changes in education.
8. Successfully led the 2003 Senate floor battle to block oil drilling in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge In 2005, Boxer voted again to block oil drilling at ANWR.
9. Been an original co-sponsor of Senator Jim Jeffords (I-VT) Clean Power Act. This legislation would reduce emissions of four pollutants coming from power plants; sulfur dioxide, nitrogen oxides, carbon dioxide and mercury.

(Source: Wikipedia)

Oh, and on the subject of national security, Senator Boxer voted against the war in Iraq, authored a bill to protect commercial airliners against attacks by shoulder-fired missiles, and wrote the law allowing airline pilots with special training to carry guns in the cockpit. She also wrote the High-Tech Port Security Act, and sponsored the Chemical Security Act to address terrorist threats against chemical plants. Senator Boxer also cosponsored comprehensive rail security legislation.

What the??!!?? A Democrat concerned about national security? I thought all Democrats were "lilly livered, chicken faggots who want to hand the keys of America over to the evil doers" (source: FOX News).

What makes me the most proud of Senator Boxer is her tireless, unnoticed work on international women's issues. In 1997 the Senate passed a Boxer resolution calling on the United States not to recognize the Taliban as the official government of Afghanistan because of its human rights abuses against women. In October 2001, Boxer successfully authored a resolution calling for the inclusion of women in the temporary government of Afghanistan.

In March 2005 the Senate Foreign Relations Committee passed Boxer's amendment to the Foreign Affairs Reauthorization Bill strongly urging Saudi Arabia to permit women to run for office and vote in all future elections.

And thousands of Saudi men just sharted themselves at the thought of women governing.....

Which brings me to my final point of why it would be great to have a female president: what better weapon in the War on Terror than a WOMAN fighting and winning against a bunch of Arab men? Can you imagine the looks on their faces when they see President Boxer ordering an assault on their Bat Cave hideouts?

As a matter of fact I have a better punishment for the recently imprisoned for life Zaccarias Moussaoui and any other psycho Islamist that is captured by US forces. They are all to be put to work on a chain gang building abused women shelters across the country. Oh, and all of the police in charge of said chain gang will be female. So, Marwan el-Suckditch gets to spend the remainder of his days working for and helping women. How's that for some REAL torture?

Anyway, I know that Hillary is the one to beat but I think if she is elected then our country would be still be too divided. There are so many people that just hate her. We would be right back to square one and make no progress in unifying this country. Barbara seems more pure to me.....she seems to really stick to her guns, regardless of whether or not it is popular.

The achievements I mentioned above are just a small portion of the service she has given this country. She has raised awareness to issues that are not very popular (Florida and Ohio voting irregularities, voting against Bush judicial nominees, weapons bans) and come out bluntly in defense of issues that are very much in the minority (gay marriage, troop withdrawal from Iraq).

It takes courage to take a stand on these things and I find that appealing. And, dude, I'm sorry I hate to be a total guy here but.......Barabara is hot. I have seen her on several chat shows and she is bloody gorgeous. I don't get the screaming thigh sweats for many 64 year old women but she just does it for me. Maybe, as always, it's the slightly more than average sized love shaker.

Anyway, as we head to the polls in 2006 and 2008, let's think about selecting a candidate who will focus on these issues with great care, gentleness, intelligence, and inner strength.

In other words, how about a woman?

Profiles In Courage (Part Two: The Man Who Can Bring The Cheese)

Most of you who know me are aware of the fact that I think baseball is one of the most beautiful things to grace our world. I look forward to every season on pins and needles with bated breath. In April, I watch the season unfold in all it's glory and hang on every pitch...every hit that my beloved Cardinals make. Throughout the season, I thoroughly and completely enjoy the ONLY sport that one can say is truly part of God's magnificent creation.

In baseball, one of the prerequisites a pitcher must have is the ability to throw a fastball. Obviously, the faster he can throw, the more outs he gets. When a pitcher throws the ball really fast, they say that he can bring the cheese.

On Oct 25, 2001, the US Senate voted on the Patriot Act and it passed 98-1. One Senator, Mary Landrieu from Louisiana did not vote. Another Senator, from Wisconsin, cast the lone dissenting vote.

His name was Russ Feingold. And being from the land of neverending dairy, my homeboy can bring the cheese.





Russell Dana Feingold was born on March 2, 1953 in Janesville, WI. As a child his three heroes were John F Kennedy, Robert Kennedy and Martin Luther King (funny, those three gentlemen sit in poster form above my desk and look down upon me every week as I write....). He went to the University of Wisconsin, Madison, Oxford, and then earned a law degree from Harvard.

He began his career as a Wisconsin State Senator and in 1992, was elected to the US Senate with a surprising victory over Republican incumbent Bob Kasten. One of the main reasons he got elected was an "underdog, grass roots campaign" that symbolized the everyman running against big government. He went so far as to put five promises on his garage door which read:

1. I will rely on the Wisconsin citizens for most of my contributions.
2. I will live in Middleton, Wisconsin. My children will go to school here and I will spend most of my time here in Wisconsin.
3. I will accept no pay raise during my six-year term in office.
4. I will hold a "Listening Session" in each of Wisconsin's 72 counties each year of my six-year term in office.
5. I will hire the majority of my Senate staff from individuals who are from Wisconsin or have Wisconsin backgrounds

Upon his election, Feingold promised: balancing the budget by raising taxes, cutting unnecessary military spending, campaigning finance reform (the McCain-Feingold bill), and a national health care system. Members of Congress on both sides of the aisle attacked him for being too liberal...too out of touch....a quirk election....obviously a one term Senator.

In 1998, he ran again for Senate. During that campaign he refused soft money from lobbyists and prohibited them from running ads in his favor. Groups such as the AFL-CIO scratched their heads and said, "Oh well, he can't possibly win."

He won the Senate again in 1998.

In 2001, less than two months after 9-11, Senator Feingold was the only dissenting vote against the Patriot Act. He believed that too many provisions infringed upon the civil liberties of US citizens. He was one of the few members in Congress that actually read the bill. At this point, all talk of Senator Feingold centered around two words: "political suicide"

In 2004, he ran again. He won by his biggest margin yet, 56 to 44 percent, and even carried many of the counties where George Bush defeated John Kerry. I guess this proves that, even though people in Wisconsin suck ass because of all their Packer bullshit, they actually know a good, decent man when they see him.

His "maverick" attitude is continuing to this day. At one of his famous listening sessions, Feingold gave his opinion about gay marriage.

"Gay and lesbian couples should be able to marry and have access to the same rights, privileges and benefits that straight couples currently enjoy," said Feingold. "The proposed ban on civil unions and marriage is a mean-spirited attempt to divide Wisconsin and I think that it should be defeated."

He is an outspoken critic on War in Iraq. He voted against the use of force in Iraq. He has called repeatedly for an exit strategy and has said that not having one plays into our enemies hands. His position on gun control is as follows:

"I have never accepted the proposition that the gun debate is a black and white issue, a matter of 'you're with us, or you're against us.' Instead, I have followed what I believe is a moderate course, faithful to the Constitution and to the realities of modern society. I believe that the Second Amendment was not an afterthought, that it has meaning today and must be respected. I support the right to bear arms for lawful purposes — for hunting and sport and for self-protection. Millions of Americans own firearms legally and we should not take action that tells them that they are second-class citizens or that their constitutional rights are under attack. At the same time, there are actions we can and should take to protect public safety that do not infringe on constitutional rights."

On March 13, 2006, the Man who can bring the Cheese "committed political suicide" again by calling for the censure of President Bush because he did not follow the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act of 1978 (FISA) which mandates use of a surveillance court for approval of wiretaps on Americans. In its history, the court has understood the request for intelligence and in only rare instances has turned down a request. Feingold made a 25 minute speech on the Senate Floor declaring that Congress must "hold the president accountable for his actions".

Hmm...sound like Mr. Feingold might have something here. Be honest...follow your heart....follow your conscience....do what you know to be right and just, whether or not it is popular....ignore loud, blowhards (ie neocondouchbags) because, in the end, they will get what's coming to them....and people will notice that you took a stand.

Well, Senator Feingold, I have noticed. And as a result, I think you would make an excellent choice forpresidentt of the United States in 2008. Imagine our country under a Feingold presidency:

1. The War on Terror...actually fighting and policing those who are trying to attack us.
2. Universal Health Care...similar to Massachusetts (Republican governor btw)
3. Improved Education system
4. Sensible gun laws
5. Campaign finance reform for REAL.
6. Equal Rights for all (sorry ncds, gay people will be married. I know it frightens you to think about what gay people are doing in the privacy of their own homes but, TOO FUCKING BAD, bitch!)

Since these things all make sense, are just and honest, and for the general good of all, I guess it is time to hear the NCD spin about how this is all impossible, evil, and anti-patriotic....change being a word that most people on the right seem to not have in their vocabulary.

My only hope is that the completely inept Democratic leadership does not look passed Mr. Feingold in the their myopic quest for a Hillary Clinton presidency. He has obviously defied the odds and is extremely popular, with seemingly unpopular views, in a state that by all rights should be located somewhere between Mississippi and Alabama....politically speaking.

Harry Reid,Howard Dean, and Chuck Schumer take note.....do you really want to win?

Russ is your man.

Profiles In Courage (Part One: General of Peace)

During the years 1954-1955, John F. Kennedy was on leave from his post as US Senator recovering from back surgery. From his bedside, he wrote an astounding book titled Profiles in Courage. The book focused on eight US Senators' (both Republican and Democrat) acts of bravery and integrity throughout American history. The book won the Pulitzer Prize in 1957 and propelled JFK to national celebrity status.

In keeping with this theme put forward by my favorite President (seen at left during his heroic service in the Navy), I have decided to write a series of columns profiling a handful of Americans who I think would be fantastic leaders of this great nation of ours.

Rather than continuing to bitch about the bullshit going on right now in our government, I am going to continue, for awhile anyway, my search for President (almost) Perfect. I am going to base my selections on the type of people JFK selected for his book. People who are willing to stand up and fight for what they believe in....people who made of stern stuff....people who exemplify the best qualities of what it means to be an American.

People who are looking forward to the New Frontier.




On August 26, 2002 the Veterans of Foreign Wars had a convention. Vice President Dick Cheney was guest speaker and this is a quote from his speech.

"Simply stated, there is no doubt that Saddam Hussein now has weapons of mass destruction. There is not doubt that he is amassing them to use against our friends, against our allies and against us."

Sitting near him, behind the podium, was a man being honored that day for his years of service in the military. This man was General Anthony Zinni and Cheney's remarks caused him great bewilderment.

Anthony Charles Zinni was born on September 17, 1943 and is a retired general in the United States Marine Corps. He is also a former Commander in Chief of US Central Command (CENTCOM). He has received the Defense Distinguished Service Medal, Defense Superior Service Medal, Legion of Merit, Bronze Star Medal, and the Purple Heart in his illustrious career in the military. In 2002 he was selected to be a special envoy of the United States to Israel and the Palestinian Authority. And, yes, he is one of several generals that have come forward in recent weeks who have been critical of the Iraq War.

General Zinni discussed the VFW convention and Cheney's remarks on a recent edition of Meet the Press with Tim Russert. I urge all of you to go and read the full transcript of the show which you can find here.

Here is a part of the transcript of that show:

MR. RUSSERT: After that event, The Washington Post captured your thinking in a conversation with you. Cheney's certitude bewildered [retired General Tony] Zinni. ... In my time at CENTCOM, I watched the intelligence, and never - not once - did it say, 'He has WMD.' Though retired for nearly two years, Zinni says, he remained current on the intelligence through his consulting with the CIA and the military. 'I did consulting work for the agency, right up to the beginning of the war. I never saw anything. I'd say to analysts, 'Where's the threat?' Their response, he recalls, was, 'Silence.'Zinni's concern deepened as Cheney pressed on. ... Zinni's conclusion as he slowly walked off the stage was that the Bush administration was determined to go to war. A moment later, he had another, equally chilling thought: 'These guys don't understand what they're getting into.'""

Here we have a more than qualified member of the military...one of many....stepping forward and telling the truth about the situation in Iraq. He went on to say later in the show that the current Iraq policy is"an insult to the troops who, for 10 years, ran the containment: those brave pilots who flew the no-fly zones, those sailors who enforced the maritime intercept operations, our soldiers and Marines that were on the ground out there that responded to every crisis, our support for the efforts of the inspectors that were in there. "

His assesment of pre-war planning, the current situation, and the future in the Middle East, should we continue blindly following the lead of the dolts that are presently running this show, is chilling at best....horrifying at worst. General Zinni feels that unless we drastically alter our policy, Iraq is going to continue to degenerate, become more unstable, and ultimately achieve complete failure in the War on Terror..a failure which could prove to be very costly for American both in innocent lives lost and in our economic standing in the world.


General Zinni does put forward a plan for the Middle East in his new book Battle For Peace. In the book he says:

"The Battle for Peace is not a battle in the classical sense - a battle that follows the sudden crisis blow that triggers a military conflict. The battle is the constant struggle to develop and build the measures, programs, systems, and institutions that will prevent crisis. The battle is the constant struggle to shape and manage the harmful elements in the environment that generate instabilities.

One review of his book summed up my feelings for General Zinni perfectly.

Tony Zinni is one of my heroes. He not only understands asymmetric warfare and the urgency of getting serious (that is to say, professional, which we are not at this time) about global instability in the intangible non-military dimensions, but he is a clear-headed diplomat and warrior-philosopher who knows how to make big bureaucracies do his bidding. I hope the day comes when we have a chance to work together to save this great Republic from the morons that have broken the piggy bank, cost us all moral legitimacy in the eyes of the world, and started a 100 year six front war we did not need and were not ready for. BRAVO ZULU and GUNG HO.

Most of you have heard me speak often and loud about the need for a "JFK" type of leader....a hero that we can all rally around.....a person who is both strong and intelligent. I believe that General Zinni IS that man. As he has made the rounds on talk shows, I have noticed a quiet seriousness about the man. It's as if he deeply understands all that is at stake in the Middle East and knows that the time for a new direction is now. He doesn't take kindly to joking about our current situation and, in many ways, is a consumate professional

He has stood up and given us some very harsh truths about the current state of US Foreign Policy. I am praying that people in our government start listening to him. I am praying that he runs for President in 2008. He is a man of great bravery and integrity and I would be proud to follow him.

Our Next President

The last couple of posts have been kinda depressing, especially the last one. I have really been wrapped around the axle about the nutters that are running our country lately. And, although I haven't commented on it, I have been reliving my 9-11 anger, sadness, and frustration in reading about the Zacarias Moussaoui trial.


I guess I still can't believe that four and a half years later that the man directly repsonsible for the 9-11 attacks is still at large and our leaders have taken their eye off of what should be the real focus of the War on Terror: the border region between Pakistan and Afghanistan. I have to admit that I was heartened to see airstrkes by the CIA there a few months back even if they missed the Al Qaeda number 2, Ayman Al Zawahari. I hope these operations will continue in earnest.

I talk to my friends who are supporters of this administration and they really believe that fighting in Iraq is the same thing as fighting anywhere in the War on Terror. They are wrong. It is a failed policy and, sadly, we will all know it when, not if, another major attack happens inside our country. There will be even more heart-wrenched families like the ones who currently testifying at the Moussaoui trial (left).


But out of this depression I began to imagine what our next president could be like. I guess, as a proud American, I have always wanted to look to our president as a person of great intelligence and honor....a leader who I will proudly follow. Rather than focus on the shit we are in right now, I began to feel hopeful as I imagined President Perfect and wondered what characteristics make a great president. And what would I like to see out of our next president?

1. Strength WITH Intelligence. I want a president, preferably with military experience, who will truly understand the conflict that we are in without being sullied by corporate interests. We are quite literally in a fight of good vs evil and we need to have a leader that understands the complexities of the region. I am absolutely for using the military when we need to but it has to be in a thoughtful and intelligent manner.

2. Homeland Security. The ports fiasco has shown how absolutely porous our borders are. More funding needs to be given to beefing up security on our borders. We need to have a leader who makes this a top priority.

3. Health Care. The state of Massachusetts recently passed a Universal Health Care bill. The first thing the next president should do is insure all children immediately. If we can spend billions of dollars on weapons that don't ever get used, I think we can spare some change to give the nation's children free health care.

4. Education. My ideal president would come up with a national education system that is totally new....something that would challenge the norm and re-write how we think about knowledge. People in this country need to be smarter and I would like to see a president who speaks to this.

5. Green Friendly. Whatever is causing global warming, it IS happening. We need to take better care of this earth. We are not doing it now and things are going to get worse if we don't work to understand exactly how global warming is affecting our environment. Again, money that is wasted in the military can be spent on developing strategies to take better care of our planet. Make no mistake....I am not so vain as to think the human race can destroy the planet with our current horseshit attitude about the environment but we will destroy our ability to live comfortably here. I would hope that my President Perfect would feel the same way.

6. Socially Liberal. The time has come for us to recognize that other people's sex lives are nobody's business....least of all the government's business. I see President Perfect as someone who keeps the government out of people's private business. If someone is not harming anyone or disturbing minors, then they are free to be married, be in a civil union, or do whatever they want to do. And if Joe or Jane Evangelical is offended by this, then they can FUCK OFF! And while we are on the subject of religion....



7. I see my ideal president as a person of PRIVATE faith. And I would want the president to keep religion and government as far apart as possible. There will be no references to God in any public institution. That is what church is for. My ideal president would basically bitch slap the evangelicals and their Nazi-esque agenda of enforcing their morals on me.

8. Energy independent. The country of Brazil recently became energy independent using sugar for fuel. That is what this country needs to do. The next president should put us on a path so that we don't have to be beholden to oil interests that directly threaten our nation's security. President Perfect will have no ties to the oil industry.

So those are just some of the traits I would like to see in our next leader. I guess the next question is....is that person out there? Cynics would say that all the good people never run for president but I believe there are several outstanding candidates, on both sides, that I would like to see as president.

What do you think? What would you like to see in our next leader?