Only in this fucking state....

...would this be headline news. Sometimes, I have to say, I wonder why I live here.

The headline from WCCO.com

Man With Workout-Ball-Slashing Fetish Charged

From the article....

Court documents say Bjerkness told police he slashed the rubber balls to satisfy a sexual urge. Experts said he has an unusual attraction to inflatable exercise devices.

With every challenge we have facing us in this state as well as our nation, this warrants top billing?

What a load of shit.

Yep

"I love these folks who helped get us in this mess and then suddenly say, 'Well, this is Obama's economy.' That's fine. Give it to me! My job is to solve problems, not to stand on the sidelines and harp and gripe"

-President Barack Obama, July 14, 2009.

Back In Black

Sorry about the lack of posting lately folks. Been busy with school, kids and coaching tennis. I thought I would return with a doozy of a quote from our president. He was talking about parenting.

"We have to accept our responsibility to help them learn. That means putting away the Xbox. Putting our kids to bed at a reasonable hour. It means attending those parent teacher conferences. And READING to our children."

Man, I love that guy!

Honestly, they need to ask why?

I spent this last weekend at my in-laws. Being that they know I love a good political discussion, they asked me why I thought Sarah Palin quit as governor of Alaska. My ultra conservative brother in law was perplexed.

"Why would she do that? It doesn't make sense, damnit!" he asked vehemently, "I only voted for McCain because she was on the ticket."

My wife, who is a moderate liberal, couldn't understand it.

"What...she's a quitter? I don't get it."

They both turned to me waiting to hear a political wonk (see:obsessive) 's point of view...the same one I have had since she first opened her mouth.

"She's a fucking moron."

Thank You, Michelle!

MN-06 representative Michelle Bachmann stated last week that she would not fully fill out her census report in the next federal census taking set to take place in 2010. She cited ACORN (eep urp bleep....output: insta right wing hot flaming anger) as one of her reasons. She went on to say that "between 1942 and 1947, the data that was collected by the Census Bureau was handed over to the FBI and other organizations at the request of President Roosevelt, and that's how the Japanese were rounded up."

!!!??

Someone please give this woman a guest spot on every major news network in the nation. And let's give her that spot....oh...around the fall of next year:)

The story, of course, gets better. By failing to fill out her census report fully and by encouraging others in her district to do so, the chances are raised significantly then when they reduce the districts from 7 down to 6 in Minnesota, the Sixth will be the first one to go due to a not so real population drop because incomplete surveys will not be accepted.

So, if you live in the Sixth, please listen to your congresswoman!

Neda

A Good Run

Well, the mainstream media had a good run recently in regards to actually covering events that fucking matter. CNN led the way with wall to wall coverage of the amazing events going on in Iran. Other news networks and outlets followed with heretofore unseen and in depth coverage of a pivotal point in that country's history. I was elated to see your ordinary Joe on the street asking me about Iran and talking about it with a higher level of knowledge. People seemed to care about what was going on there and frivolous stories were nowhere to be found.

Then Mark Sanford, Governor of South Carlolina, went on a walkabout and....they started dropping like flies in CelebrityWood.

While I feel sad for their families (and am especially bummed that the passing of Ed McMahon got swept aside quickly...no one EVER will come close to him and Johnny), the deaths of Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson, and Billy Mays are not "Breaking News" in the way that a revolution in a fucking country is news. My cup had already runneth over with Michael and now there will be no escaping it for the next month or possibly more.

And people will return to caring about shallow, meaningless bullshit when they were so close (!) to turning the corner and focusing on poignant matters like Iran, Pakistan, health care, energy, and Iraq. Do we really need to know the intimate details of Governor Sanford's life? I don't care. It's his business and I don't judge him for his actions...although I do find it HILARIOUS that my colleagues on the right are very sympathetic. Where was that sympathy from 1998-2000?

If any of you are wailing uncontrollably at the death of Michael Jackson, first of all....get a fucking life. You didn't know the guy. Save your sadness and empathy for people in your own life for crying out loud. And, if you must weep for someone you don't know, check this site out tomorrow for the video that changed my life.

Not Even Close

The next time you hear a conservative tell you that our government is close to socialism, show them this.













And then gently direct them to the nearest mental institution.

Another Classic (at 2:00)

"I don't want to be on your team. Pick another kid."

Given a recent post by Kevin Baker regarding last week's New Rules, I hope he checks this one out too:)

"We don't have a left or right party in this country anymore. We have a center right party and a crazy party. Over the last 30 odd years, Democrats have moved to the right and the right has moved into a mental hospital....they actually worry that Obama is a socialist. Socialist? He's not even a liberal."

And many of his commenters as well. I can already feel their heads exploding.

Wow.

"We had one vote and we gave it to Mousavi. We have one life and we'll give it up for freedom."

Anonymous Twitter from Tehran.

The Twitter Revolution

Like many of you, I am stunned by the events in Iran. Each day's news brings more excitement and more danger. The Supreme Leader of Iran, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, issued a warning today to protesters saying that the government would crack down on further dissent.

While they have been able to block some transmissions from Iran, the government has had a difficult time controlling all of the Twittering that has gone on. Everyday citizens have become global reporters pushing real time information out to the rest of the world. It's an amazing thing to watch a lumbering old and out of step theocracy sadly attempt to block free speech.

And, I have to say, my chiding of Twitter of late amongst my social circles seems to have come back and bitten me on the ass. I'm still not a big fan of people having to know and tell other people what they are doing exactly at every second of their lives but if you live in Tehran....I say Twitter away, revolutionary brothers and sisters!

Yet another reason to smile:)

Wow. They continue to amaze me. Just when I thought there was a smidgen of hope that the GOP might pull together and be a little smarter about how they communicate, this happens.

Really?

No prob, Hugh. We'll take all those votes off your hands:)

The Best

A few years back, the tennis world (mostly overzealous and irritating announcers like Mary Cirillo) claimed that Roger Federer was the best player in the history of the game. This was back when he had won a few Wimbledons and the US Open.

Many of my tennis pals said that he was the best ever and I reminded them that until he wins the French, my guy Andre is still the best. To win all four slams in a career had only been accomplished by Agassi, Laver, Perry, Emerson, and Budge. To understand how difficult this is, stand in your back yard and bounce a ball off of grass, a muddy patch, and your driveway. Watching how differently it bounces and you will get the idea. The French, played on clay, eluded Federer for years.

But yesterday, he fucking won it. And in convincing fashion.

So, it is NOW official. Roger Federer is the greatest player in the history of tennis. If he wins Wimbledon this year, he will have passed Pete Sampras (with whom he is currently tied at 14) with 15 Grand Slam wins. And Pete never even won the French!

Congrats, Roger. You are the man!

65 Years Ago Today

He said...what?

Check out this story from Andrew Sullivan. Apparently, Bill O'Reilly called the recently murdered Dr. George Tiller "Doctor Killer."

(Shakes head sadly)

And they wonder why the DHS is going to crawl up their ass with a fucking tweezers....

First Look

An intrepid (and large breasted) female friend (who recently declared open house to all comers :) on titty fucking if she ever gets breast cancer and has to have a masectomy) sent me this link and comment in regards to President Obama's meeting with King Abdullah (aka the "Saudi guy")

Note in the photo how he keeps his distance. I hope no photo surfaces showing them strolling and holding hands.

p.s. that Saudi guy still looks pregnant

Sweet...

Only The Beginning

Last Sunday, Scott Roeder walked into Reformation Lutheran Church in Wichita, KS and shot Dr. George Tiller, killing him for being a late term abortion provider. From my local paper:

Roeder's family life began unraveling more than a decade ago when he got involved with anti-government groups, and then became "very religious in an Old Testament, eye-for-an-eye way," his former wife, Lindsey Roeder, told The Associated Press. "The anti-tax stuff came first, and then it grew and grew. He became very anti-abortion."

I'm sad to report that I'm certain this is only the beginning. As I have been saying for months, the real danger in regards to domestic terrorism is from the right, not the left. The right is far more organized, greater in number, getting more armed every day, and fucking pissed off as hell. And people gave me shit for the DHS report...

What I find to be most interesting about this latest incident in relation to the DHS report is how the right complains of "profiling" when they do the exact same fucking thing every day with Muslims. How many times have we heard the line "not all terrorists are Muslims but all the ones that are attacking us are Muslims?"

Not anymore.

The people that are going to cause the most violence in this country in the next year are exactly what Ms. Roeder described above...anti government, anti tax, old testament, anti abortion.

Sound like the base of a certain party to anyone?

A Pefect Solution

I think I have a perfect place for the right to vent their anger....HERE. Check out this story from the Christian Science Monitor regarding the situation in Pakistan. As if President Obama's current policy of letting the weak government fight a proxy war wasn't bad enough for my blood pressure, now we have this bullshit. I am issuing call to all gun owners who currently stock piling their armories...donate a gun to a Pakistani woman. At the very least, donate your time by encouraging and/or training her to use it.

Now most of you know that for the most part, I am a peaceful man. But when it comes to fucking garbage like this...well...I am reminded of Sean Connery in the Untouchables.

Jimmy: You want to get Capone? Here's how you do it...he pulls a knife, you pull a gun. He puts one of yours in the hospital, you put one of his in the morgue.

Yep.

Knee Jerk Hate

Today, President Obama nominated Sonia Sotomayor to the Supreme Court. As expected, conservatives around the country, condemned her as a liberal, activist judge who is going to kill babies, take away guns and legislate from the bench.

Taking our shuttles back from the orbit of Planet Hate-Paranoia-Fear (or just plain Planet NO to everything President Obama does), we find several interesting items regarding Ms. Sotomayor:

• She was initially nominated to US District Court by President George H.W. Bush who, unless Limbaugh and Cheney have now thrown him out as a heretic, is a Republican.
• Orin Hatch, Richard Lugar, Susan Collins, Olympia Snowe, Thad Cochran, Judd Gregg, and Robert Bennett...all Republicans...vote for her nomination to the US Court of Appeals in 1998.
• She upheld the Bush administration's implementation of the Mexico City Policy which requires foreign organizations receiving U.S. funds to "neither perform nor actively promote abortion as a method of family planning in other nations".
• She dissented from her colleagues’ ruling that the NYPD could terminate an employee from his desk job who sent racist materials through the mail. Sotomayor argued that the First Amendment protected speech by the employee “away from the office, on [his] own time,” even if that speech was “offensive, hateful, and insulting," and that therefore the employee's First Amendment claim should have gone to trial rather than being dismissed on summary judgment.
• In cases where Sotomayor and at least one judge appointed by a Republican president were on the three-judge panel, Sotomayor and the Republican appointee(s) agreed on the outcome 95 percent of the time.

Wow. Sounds to me like she's a stinkin' commie.....IN NEOCON BIZARRO WORLD.

Anyway, President Obama has made a fine choice in Ms. Sotomayor. Her track record proves she is a moderate through and through and a perfect choice to replace the court's current moderate...David Souter. As we all know, though, these days anything to the left of Atilla the Hun is FUCKING STATIST SOCIALISM BENT ON DESTROYING ALL LIBERTY AND FREEDOM EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So when you hear the rage against the choice of Sonia Sotomayor, try hard to not listen to the direction from which it originates: white men (ages 45-130)....their ball sweat ever increasing in lather as they realize that our country is now populated by people who (gasp!) have non white men opinions (see: end of all that is holy) because (double gasp!) there are a lot less white men around these days.

Kindly input the RRRC (Reverse Racism Redirect Code) and begin sadly projecting onto me (and others) your own hilariously obvious bias.

Giving Thanks

On this Memorial Day, 2009, I find my thoughts drifting to my grandfather who passed away last year. Pop was a member of the combat engineers in WWII and served on pretty much every island in the Pacific from 1942 to 1945.

Here is to him and all the men and women who have given their lives for our country....