Most of you know that I am a stay at home parent and, as a result, spend most of my time with women. Single moms, married moms, single women all seem to gravitate in my circle of life and I have noticed a peculiar tendency amongst all of these women that I find troubling. Before I state what it is, however, I want to make it clear that I am not singling out any ONE of my female friends. ALL of you are guilty of this, or have been at one time or another, and I would like an explanation.
WHY DO YOU INSISTS UPON DATING OR BEING MARRIED TO THE BIGGEST FUCKING LOSERS IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD?
I can't begin to count how many men I have met, especially in the last two years, that are dating fellow school moms, single friends, or are fellow husbands that the word DOUCHEBAG is actually a compliment in reference to them.This is a problem that has gone on since I was in high school, really. The hot chicks always dated the biggest assholes just because they were jocks or whatever and for some bizarre reason that has carried over to adulthood.
I have heard it defined as the "bad boy" phase but some of these idiots don't have enough energy to put down their video game controllers to cause any trouble. Heck, that would at least make them interesting if they got into a scrap or something. Woman after woman always describes their boyfriend/husband as "sweet" and yet when I meet one of these morons, they have several or all of the following characteristics:
1. Unemployed or in nowhere job
2. Loves Video Games
3. Drinking and/or Drug Problem
4. No Ambition (and that's being kind)
5. No Money and yet finds some for the weekly casino trip
6. No Capacity for Intelligent Thought (aka Dumb as a Sack of Hammers)
7. Fat (aka: can't see girlfriend's butt crack during from-behind action to due to stomach overhang)
8. Extremely Immature (aka never got over being 12 years old.)
9. Thinks George Bush is really smart
10. Has at least one child by ex-girlfriend (birth control? hello!)
11. Verbally abusive (psychotic drunken episodes, weight and hair accusations, etc)
12. Physically abusive (psychotic drunken episodes II: electric boogaloo)
13. Makes ignoring girlfriend/wife an art form
14. Extraordinarily insensitive especially at the most inappropriate times
Ok, so I threw in number 9 just for the hell of it. But the rest? All true. Every single one of them. Ladies, please chime in . Why are you dating or why did you date these men? What do you see in them? How can you let a guy like this put his dick inside of you? Are you flipping nuts, woman? I can't imagine dating any woman that would treat me like that. Fuck 'em in the ear! And yet sadly, most guys that I know, realize that you have to be a complete dick, aloof, and insensitive to score big with the babes., especially the hot ones.Ladies, do not try to deny this. You know it is true. Because if you are a guy and stuck with the label "nice" when you meet chicks, you might as well plan on getting to know your right hand a whole lot better.
I have my own theory on this so y'all can tell me if there is any truth to it. I think that most women are very insecure. They think they are overweight (hardly ever true), ugly (never, ever true) or stupid (everyone has their own definition of intelligence). Thus, they feel that any guy that is really into them must be a weirdo because "why would anyone like me?" They are more comfortable with a guy who will treat them like shit because they feel they are not worthy. They are used to their own voice putting themselves down so when dickhead makes a comment it feels normal
The reality is that the only thing women should feel insecure about is their insistence upon being with fucko after fucko in their dating career!
Another theory I have is that nice guys automatically fall into the "safety" category. Safety guys are cool but not hot. Friend material but not dateable. Guys that ignore women, are apathetic, and treat women like shit are a challenge, right? Guys like that are sooooo hot, aren't they?Maybe you will be the one to finally change them. Thank goodness! Or is that you are or were too emotionally challenged and need time to realize that there is nothing actually wrong with sweet guys and they are actually, imagine the miracle, a lot of fun?
Then again, maybe I am looking at this from the wrong side. Is it that the pool of men out there are so bad that you have to settle for someone who is just a slob and a deadbeat as opposed to a slob, a deadbeat, and an abuser?
Men are welcome to chime in but, seriously, I want to see some Comments below from women with a fucking explanation. I am so sick of this and need answers!
7 comments:
With regards to bad boys…bad boys do have a leadership quality to them and a confidence that women like. The bad boys know how to handle rejection and simply view it as part of the game and move on to the next one. I guess the other end of the spectrum are the guys who are too chickenshit to say “Hey, how about dinner sometime?” Young women may crave the attention they get from nice guys but that does not make those nice guys worthy of respect. Then again, when I go to a restaurant or a mall I see all kinds of nice looking women with guys who are obviously not “bad boys” so the bad boy thing is certainly not set in stone. I guess it all comes down to personal taste – I remember watching a show on vegetarians and this dude was like “I’m a vegetarian by marriage”...and he said that with a very feminine, almost gay tone of voice. His wife obviously likes dudes like that. Consequently, my ex-girlfriend Denise prefers to date guys who have a good amount of upper body muscle.
Hot women are probably used to men fawning all over them that when a guy all of sudden doesn’t take interest they wonder why. Some women see that as a challenge…a guy who prefers hanging out with the guys over oogling over them is a break from the norm.
With regards to women dating losers...let’s look at my roommate. He is about $30,000 in credit card debt, he has a gambling problem, he has a drinking problem (he got a DWI last February and regularly comes home completely shitfaced at least 2 times a week), he spends whatever money he makes right away, he has gained 50 lbs in the last 6 months due to his steady diet of Taco Bell and McDonalds on a daily basis, he has been fired from several of his jobs, his bedroom always looks like a bomb went off in it, he owes all his friends money, he couldn’t even take care of a plant that he had in the living room (so how does anyone think he can take care of a house or a child), yet he has a very nice looking girlfriend who is a school teacher. They never go out...every Saturday night they are on the couch in my living room and they order a pizza (romantic huh?). I know no one is perfect and that everyone in a marriage/relationship has to accept the good qualities as well as the bad qualities about their mate but aren’t there any dealbreakers anymore? I think far too many women fear “being alone” so they will actually stay with and bang dudes like this for security reasons. Then again, going out and meeting people/beginning a new relationship is hard work, just sitting at home with some bum is easy. Could be other things too – all her friends are married so she probably feels some sort of idiotic “pressure” to keep up with her friends.
It also could be that the reason women are with guys like this is because the image these project to the world would only attract a bum. I think you are correct about the insecurity thing - women who place value on themselves don't want mean, troublesome guys who ignore them. They like humorous, confident men who are fun to be with.
The new technology in video games is impressive, even I like the occasional trip to Gameworks downtown but when some dude sits in 1 spot on the couch playing video games for the entire weekend that is lame.
Fat – I shall quote Dr. Phil when he was talking about overweight women because I think the same logic can be applied to men as well...”Hey – he married you when you were 120lbs, not 220 lbs”. Then again - every society has a segment that succumbs to weakness within that society's fabric. It's a constant in humanity that some people insist on doing what feels good with no regard for their well being. To me, obesity is indicative of a weakness of character and laziness. Fair or not, horrible or not, no amount if new age attempts at re-education will erase that image.
Has at least one child out of wedlock – sounds like the area of Illinois I grew up in. Everyone on my softball team down there got their girlfriends knocked up when they turned 20. It ain’t that hard to prevent that for cripes sake. Some even made the conscious decision to have children out of wedlock. Duuuuh!
Ignoring the girlfriend being an art form – goes back to what I said before. Women seem to get all bothered when they aren’t #1 so they will try harder to “get” you. I believe young women keep growing to want more out of a relationship. Women many times see a relationship as a dynamic thing, always changing and growing. They want a guy to keep things interesting and at times they will 'make' something happen (drama) to add some spark. Conflict, whether internal or external, does make things interesting. It is not so much that they are looking for abusive drama and want to call in restraining orders, but they need some type of excitement. Far too many women think that the only thing they have to offer in a relationship is their ass.
While you can't say it about every woman....every woman I've ever dated/known that has been confused about what a healthy relationship with a man is supposed to look like lacked a strong bond with a father figure early in their lives. It turns out that the women I know who are very controlling, expect drama in their relationships, and who are overall psycho nuts all had very dysfunctional relationships with their father when they were young.
I think it's super that you've realized that today's females like to SAY they want a nice guy who respects women but when you turn around, you see these same women with some bad boy who treats women like dogs feces. So I know why they go for guys like that, I just don’t play that game. I tend to judge them by their actions, not what they say. Grown-ups don't play silly little games to fool people in relationships.
Hi Mark et al, long time no see.
When I am dating a nice women and meet her friends and family I often get poor reviews. Mostly because I am not interested in impressing them. I am into my girlfriend, not her entourage.
What BS!! Could it perhaps be that there just aren't that many "perfect" men out there that women will overlook one or two flaws because the rest of the package is good?
I'd never put up with items 5 - 9 and 11 - 14, but the rest I could deal with if the rest of the package was there. An attentive, sexy, awesome lover, who makes enough money to have fun but doesn't want to be as rich as Bill Gates could fall into items 1 and 4, but that's okay with me - as long as he can pay his bills.
I want a best friend who is an awesome lover. Fortunately, I've found it.
Female Friend,
I am not saying you should strive for a perfect man. Just like the myth of the perfect woman, they don't really exist. Everyone has minor flaws.
My point was that many of the women I know put up with more than just 1 and 4 on the list. It sucks and they can do better but for some reason, the chose not to do so.
Again, I ask, why?
I got this in an email a while back...obviously written from a bitter-male point of view but there are elements of truth in it.
If you work too hard,
there is never any time for her.
If you don't work enough,
you're a good-for-nothing bum.
If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, it's exploitation.
If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your butt and find something better.
If you get a promotion ahead of her, it's favoritism.
If she gets a job ahead of you,
it's equal opportunity.
If you mention how nice she looks,
it's sexual harassment.
If you keep quiet,
it's male indifference.
If you cry, you're a wimp.
If you don't, you're insensitive.
If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist pig.
If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.
If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination.
If she asks you, it's a favor.
If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain.
If you don't, you're a slob.
If you buy her flowers,
you're after something.
If you don't, you're not thoughtful.
If you're proud of your achievements, you're an egotist.
If you're not, you're not ambitious.
If you want it too often, then all you think about is sex.
If you don't want to, there must be someone else.
If you cheat and seek a divorce, you are a scumbag.
If she cheats and seeks a divorce, she is seeking freedom and liberation from an oppressive situation.
I have to say that this topic falls under the category "not very interesting." At this point in our lives, we are mostly adults and have been so for decades in some cases. In my time as being an adult I have come to realize that people will do as they wish whether you approve of it or not and that no one can live someone elses life nor influence it in ways that are not completely endorsed by the person in question. I think it is interesting that some people have the "Great Society" desire in which they feel it is important to feel for everyone that they love, but the reality is that there is nothing anyone can do to change someone else. Is this complete indifference? Maybe, but I believe that people should be allowed to make bad decisions. If a woman or a man were to ask my opinion of a prospective mate or companion (the operative word here is "ask", I would feel compelled to tell them my truth. But under no circumstances would I expect them to take my advice. Some people must experience life through their own lens. If that means getting tied down to someone who is lazy, inconsiderate, or stupid, then it is a lesson that they must learn themselves, or they are doomed to repeat it again and again. If they were to continue to repeat their mistakes, I would have to wonder about their ability to make good decisions, but it would have absolutely nothing to do with me. I can't suffer with or truly understand someone elses home-generated problems and the consequences that are derived from them.
Crabby's last post was (as forewarned) fairly bitter, and it would be untrue if I said I had not felt some of those things. Truth to tell, after being involved with someone who was very difficult when it came to the relationships between men and women, I learned the very simple truth that I don't want to be with someone who treats me badly, holds their sex and/or gender over my head, or expects certain favoritism in society. The perpetual victim routine gets old, but hey, it is only pertinent if you buy into it. I believe in making my own way in this world despite the perceived roadblocks set in front of me by changing social values. We all are participants in this society, we help to create its culture, but we also have some choices about the level in which we participate.
I choose not to get riled up about perceived differences between men and women. If a woman gets promoted over me, I have the choice to quit the job or make a stink about it. If a woman complains that I am not working hard enough, I have the ability to walk away from that person.
Its all about the choices we make and living with the consequences of our own decision. Its called RESPONSIBILITY. I'm not sure why Markadelphia would be interested in other peoples bad decisions and since he is out of the game of seeking a new mate, what difference does it make? Once the marriage thing happens, it doesn't matter what other people think about the married person and he is out of the running for finding someone else, so learning the answer to a mystery of why some women choose bad mates is irrelevant.
I am more interested in how the Spread of Democracy in the Middle East has led to the increased and officially endorsed role of Hamas in the Palestinian territories (I think that is the term that dum-dum used this morning). Quite a pickle to find oneself in given the wholehearted endorsement of the democratic method in the Middle East. There doesn't seem to be an answer to those that blindly advocated democracy when the people of the region have chosen individuals considered unsavory by this administration. Makes me wonder what the Iraqis would have chosen for themselves if we did not have a military presence in the country.
Let Democracy decide...POWER TO THE PEOPLE!
Ultimately, attraction is mutual. You stay with someone because the connection is deeper than money, looks - anything tangible. Nice finds nice - assholes find assholes. And you stay with them because it's familiar.
You have to also list the pros with the cons because people come with both, and we grow to accept both and love both. If the guy is super fat, but great with the kids, or, plays too many video games, but makes terriffic love...
When's the last time any gal friend, or guy friend for that matter, spoke up about the wonderful person they were involved with, or what they did recently to make their world special. To many people, that's just not as interesting as tearing someone down, so, the perception gets distorted when it's all cons.
And, it's mostly about agenda anyway. What are you bringing to the table - what needs can you fill. The perfect man or woman? Insecure? My istinct tells me that attraction is more primitive than you think.
Post a Comment