So when the National Rifle Association decided it would be really cool if their Eddie Eagle coloring books be distributed in her school, my mom said no way.
"I have a real concern of having children coloring guns," said Sharon J. Campbell, principal of Jones Elementary School, who reviewed some of the Eddie Eagle material. "I'm not sure a coloring book is the best way to teach gun safety." Others feel the same.Alderman Pete Karas is leading the charge against the books. Among the evidence for his concerns was a 2002 study by the American Academy of Pediatrics that found the Eddie Eagle program was "effective for teaching children to reproduce verbally the gun safety message," but that many children didn't act out the lessons in role-playing games.
In fact, 1999 TV news report from ABC's "20/20" suggested the full Eddie Eagle program, which includes the coloring books, didn't work. In the report, of 20 children who completed the gun-safety training, 17 found guns in a test. Of the 17 who found the guns, three called police; the others played with the guns."I am more convinced than ever that not only is this program ineffective, but also harmful to our children," Karas said.
And, if that weren't enough, Wisconsin, in its every expanding vision of making itself even more like a southern state, has decided to lower the age from 12 to 8 years old allowing children to legally hunt. Eight! That's only two years older than my oldest child and the thought of her handling a gun.....yikes!!
If there is one area where we, as a country, are unbelievably stupid, it's guns. And when I say guns, for the purpose of this column, I am excluding hunting rifles and shotguns. Even though they can be dangerous, they are legitimately used for sport. Everything else is just bloody ridiculous.I want to go on the record and say that I think the NRA is the largest collection of assholes ever organized and assembled. Of all the lobbying groups in the country, I can safely say that I fucking hate them with all of my heart and soul AND they represent everything that I loathe about this country.
They are a group of paranoid, fear-mongers who can't get it up without their guns. They make Richard Nixon look mentally balanced. "From my cold dead hands...." means what exactly? I can't function in society without my gun? Does it mean that "I am so afraid that 'they's a comin' that I need to have my gun?" Oh my gun! OHHHH!! I must have it and caress it and fondle it until I ejaculate in my pants!People that proudly wip out their NRA cards at parties are quite honestly the biggest turnoffs since God invented cold showers. I have seen this happen a few times and let me tell ya, it really makes the ladies all hot and wet......NOT!!
You might ask me, though, hey Mark! I thought you were a military hawk and yet you hate the NRA? What the??!?? That doesn't make any sense at all. Actually it does, buckaroo, and here's why.
To quote one of my favorite Americans, General Wesley Clark, "Ordinary Americans have no business owning any kind of gun, other than rifles and shotguns, for sport. If someone NEEDS to have an Uzi, handgun or an assault rifle, then they should get themselves a pair of boots and see me. I have a job for them."
Of course, most NRA pussies would probably shart themselves if saw any real kind of action and are quite happy and content to fantasize about killing their neighborhood niggers than actually doing something brave like serving their country. No, no...you won't catch any NRA chickenhawks actually fighting for their country. They are content to swill Busch light, watch fucking NASCAR, and scream about the liberal homos that are trying to "destroy" their homes.
I don't have any problems with guns, per se, if they are in the hands of professionally trained people like Army rangers or police officers. I think we will ALL agree, however, that most of the people that have guns in this country are FUCKING MORONS and will end up shooting themselves or someone they love. Statistics don't lie....just ask any police officer. And you can start with a friend of mine who happens to be a Hennepin Country Sheriff. He'll tell you that if less people had less guns then his job would be a whole lot easier.Maybe the NRA should direct its Eddie Eagle coloring book campaign about gun safety at our vice president. For those of you who don't know, Vice President Cheney (left) accidentally sprayed one his companions in the face with bird shot on a hunting exhibition last week. Oh well, if he hadn't have gotten those four deferments in Vietnam, maybe he would have learned how to handle firearms .
Anyway, I guess now that the NRA has made my mom's life more strained than it already is, I need to make it another one my missions in life to reveal the NRA for what they truly are: a bunch of fear-mongering, mouth-breathers who don't know the first thing about the word bravery. Hey that sounds a lot like the neo-con douchebags that are currently running our country! What a coincidence.....
Hey, NRA goons....if you need to get an erection, lose the gun, dude. Just use porn like everyone else. I recommend the "Caught From Behind" series from the 1980s. Very educational.....
14 comments:
I don’t know much about the Eddie Eagle coloring book program, first I’ve heard of it. The reaction you are having to it though sounds a whole lot like the reaction Mrs. Brenny had to the billboard in one of your previous columns. The context may differ but the reaction is still the same.
I guess this would make me a member of the largest collection of assholes ever assembled since I am a member of the NRA. Indeed I have shown my NRA card at parties a couple times (just to annoy a liberal) during conversation. I could care less what some woman thinks about it since I have a pair of balls and enough self confidence to do things without regard to what the women around me might think about it. Only a PC pansy with no backbone lets the possible reactions of women, or anyone for that matter, guide their every behavior. Speaking of parties, I went to one in uptown a few years ago with Phil Tegtmeier. The host of the party was one of the biggest metrosexuals you have ever seen in your life. About 11:30 a group of 3 women began laughing at him because they noticed he had eye makeup on. Yeah, what a turn on – eye makeup. Homo.
In the NRA magazine I get, called “Americas first freedom”, there is a section called “The Armed Citizen” where it details where a firearm was used to PREVENT a crime. You neeeeeeever hear about those stories on the evening news even though they outnumber gun crimes.
Not sure what being a member of the NRA has to do with the ability to get an erection. I guess if you truly knew women you would know that there are women that live outside of the big cities in this country and they like men who drive pickups, work a blue-collar job, go hunting, get a little dirt under the fingernails, a rugged Marlboro man type (notice those things have nothing to do with being an alcoholic, playing video games, having a gambling problem, etc). True, some women may like Brokeback Mountain, many more women will take John Wayne’s character in Big Jake.
I guess my father would also be one of those who fantasizes about killing niggers. As you know already, he is a life long union member who voted democrat his entire life..he’s a member of the NRA and a gun owner as well who didn’t vote for Gore because he was anti-gun. Looks like even Kerry felt the need to connect a bit with his Ohio “goose hunt” in 2004. Our Centerville, OH office was bursting with laughter at Kerry who was trying to make people think he could just fly out of the hamptons for a goose hunt. You’ve already told me you are voting for Hillary Clinton. How much combat has she seen? Looks like you have one set of standards for conservatives and another for liberals. Typical. Even more typical is people like Rosie O Donnell and Michael Moore (2 of the biggest anti-gun celebrities) who applied for and received conceal carry permits so their bodyguards could carry a firearm. I guess protection is OK for elitist liberals and not OK for the rest of us.
Statistics don’t lie? Why didn’t you post some? Like the ones showing that the areas of this country with the strictest gun control laws actually having the highest amount of gun deaths. Before you post anything about “child” gun deaths be sure to see if their definition of “child” includes 17 year old inner city gang members.
Then your comments about the Dick Cheney incident fit right in with the political left these days...they will use any situation to advance their agenda or to take a swipe at someone on the other side of the political spectrum. (Wellstone memorial? Corretta Scott King funeral?) With that paragraph you proved that you are a fucking moron with regards to talking about hunting at all. I told you that I personally know 2 people that this very thing has happened to and that it happens hundreds of times each year but I guess we can’t let facts get in the way. Cheneys Vietnam situation has nothing to do with anything here. Heck using your logic, I wonder what you think about what happened to Pat Tillman? You obviously have never been quail hunting because you would know that they are not exactly standing still when people are shooting at them – the dog flushes a covey of quail and 8 birds explode off the ground in all different directions and shooting them is pure reaction. This whole story is only a big deal in the Washington press corps and nowhere else and trust me – the red states are laughing at some liberal Washington press type referring to Cheneys gun as a “28 caliber shotgun” (hint – there is no such thing as a 28 caliber shotgun). Only a lib could use a hunting accident to take a jab at a political opponent because the ends justify any means in their world. Even the man he shot got out of the hospital and said “I don’t know what all the fuss is about”.
I got kind of lost re: the point of the posting. Not that I've ever claimed to be too bright. Was it anti-NRA? Anti-gun? Anti-stupid people? Anti-Bush/Cheney? (Just can't pass up the chance to take a jab at Bush/Cheney, can ya?)
If you're anti-gun, that confuses me, because the Bill of Rights clearly provides for the right to bear arms. And since you've established precendent for adherence to the rights afforded us by the Constitution and Bill of Rights (church and state, free speech, freedom of religion,...) it seems a no-brainer that you'd support the right to carry a gun.
If you are anti-NRA then I'm on your side. Not necessarily because I have the same stereotypes regarding the membership, but because they have a history of supporting (or opposing, as the case may be) legislation regarding guns that nobody in their right minds should think they need. Although I don't own a gun, I have no problem with somebody carrying a handgun. There's a line there, though, and the NRA consistently crosses it. (assault weapons and the Brady bill come to mind)
If you're anti-stupid people then once again I join you. However, people being stupid shouldn't preclude them from owning a gun any more than it should prevent them from driving or procreating. Hell, let's kill two birds with one stone....let's take away the right of people to drive. It makes the job of law enforcement easier (which is your qualification for taking away guns) and it will solve our dependence on oil. That's no more ridiculous than taking away guns because some stupid people do stupid things with them.
I'm sorry that the Eddie Eagle coloring books have made your mom's job tougher. The quote from Alderman Karas kind of worries me, though. It may be that the program is ineffective....it's certainly something to look into. (The program has been endorsed by the Justice Dept and the National Sheriffs' Association, for what that's worth.) But the Alderman goes to say that "..not only is it ineffective, but also harmful to our children." How's that? By providing them with safety information on the guns that they see indiscriminately plastered on tv and movies thousands of time a year?
I don't really have much to respond to PL about....we seem to agree more these days than disagree. Glad to hear you feel the same way I do about the NRA.
But Crabby....ah Crabby...where did your mother and I go wrong? Only you would equate guns (my column this week) and sex (Mrs Brenny)...
You always here stories on the evening news about gun deaths or attacks or assaults. I hear them all the time....that is when I can actually stomach watching the evening local news as that is ALL it is about. So, your first paragraph is just plain false...
Women like John Wayne in Red River or Rio Lobo...not Big Jake when he was fat and old.
I will vote for Hillary but she won't be as qualified to be President as Wesley Clark due to here lack of military experience...someone who would be a far better choice. I exclude Guilliani from this rule because of how well he handled the 9-11 crisis.
I do think that Hillary will be less inclined to send our troops into frivilous endeavors than either President named Bush.
It's my understanding that bodyguards are trained proffesionals so what's your point here? Michael Moore is a member of the NRA.
Google anything related to gun deaths and you will find that more often than not people who own guns shoot themselves or cause some kind of an accident than "defend" themselves.
That's just saying that I think most United States citizens are irresponsible with guns. If our country weren't so fucking dumb about guns, then the whole issue would be moot. Canada has tons and tons of guns but it doesn't occur to them to SHOOT EACH OTHER WITH THEM.
I laughed my ass off when Dick Cheney, Mr. Pro Gun right wing asshole, shot his friend in the face. What an idiot! Do you know what surprises me? If Al Gore did it, you would be saying the same thing I am saying.
Someone sent me this today...more food for thought
http://www.nytimes.com/books/first/b/bellesiles-arming.html?_r=1&oref=slogin
Only I would equate guns and sex? Did you get the amnesia special at Culvers today because your column reads “Oh my gun! OHHHH!! I must have it and caress it and fondle it until I ejaculate in my pants!” as well as “wip out their NRA cards at parties are quite honestly the biggest turnoffs since God invented cold showers. I have seen this happen a few times and let me tell ya, it really makes the ladies all hot and wet”. I didn’t equate guns with sex anyway, I was pointing out that your reaction Eddie Eagle is very similar to Mrs. Brennys reaction to the billboard in question in one of your previous columns.
My first paragraph was false? I thought my third paragraph mentioned that many times guns are used to prevent a crime and those are the situations that go unreported.
Rosie O Donnell, on her show several years back when she was involved in the million mom march, said ALL guns should be outlawed, then it turns out she wants her bodyguard to carry a gun to protect her. My point is that the most vocal anti-gunners have one set of rules for themselves, another set of rules for everyone else.
Well, I pay car insurance a hell of a lot more than I get into accidents. Doesn’t mean I’m going to stop buying car insurance.
I think most American gun owners are responsible with guns. Where are your statistics proving that most of them are irresponsible? (oh yeah, statements like that can never actually be proven). Accidents do happen, so do inaccurate, broad generalizations of people in the southern part of the US who you know nothing about. I suspect you know several gun owners, how many of them would you consider irresponsible? So 1 accident involving a public figure happened a couple weeks ago, that means 99% of active hunters didn’t have an accident that particular weekend.
Your last paragraph is 100% complete fucking bullshit. I could care less what you say about Cheney but don’t you DARE ever think that I would laugh at the thought of a hunting accident when 2 people I grew up with have had the exact same thing happen to them. I guess I didn’t make it clear enough how close to home it hit me, I lost a hunting buddy because of an accident exactly like this. Saying “If Gore did it you would be laughing” is hardly justification for your statements about laughing at an accident where someone almost died, not to mention it’s 100% false. You “laughed your ass off” when someone got hurt in an accident simply because you disagree with the politics of one of the men involved? You lefties have no shame – you will use any situation, any event to advance your agenda or take a political swipe at someone.
No the reaction isn't the same. Mrs Brenny's reaction is about being prudish about sex. My reacion is about young children learning about fucking firearms for crying out loud. If you equate being uptight about sex as the same as being uptight about guns....wow...they aren't even in the same ballpark.
And I am not upight about guns. I am not "against" guns. I am against the people (ordinary citizens) that need to have them.
Rosie O Donnell does not carry a gun herself, her bodyguad (aka trained professional) carrys one. Rosie O Donnell is a celebrity who gets death threats on a regular basis.
Willis T Otis, however, is a fucking redneck who can't tell his wife's ass from her mouth and has no business owning an Uzi, handgun, or any kind of firearm really because he is an itiotic mouth breather.
I don't think that anyone getting hurt in a hunting accident is funny. What is funny is that a macho asshole like Dick Cheney, who is JOE PROGUN, made such a stupid mistake and then tried to hide it. Oh but that's right...somehow it's the liberal media's fault again.....poor ol neo cons....they never get a fair shake, do they?
If it were Gore or if Kerry had shot someone on his goose outing, how do YOU think the right would've reacted? Do you think it would've been the same as with Cheney or different...hmmm...let me think about that one for a minute...
I didn't realize that this sort of thing hit so close to home so I do apoligize for that but Crab, c'mon, shouldn't Cheney at least have his license put on probation? Should he be required to undergo safety training again? When you get into a car accident, your rates go up so doesn't the same apply here?
Here's something else I don't really get it...maybe it's because I am a liberal and therefore, I don't get hunting.
How does someone (Cheney) accidently shoot someone (WHittington) in the face with bird shot at a distance of 30 yards when the target is over 6 feet tall? Don't the logistics of that seem interesting? Is Cheney that good of a shot?
Methinks something ain't right.....
No comment on Alans post? I thought statistics didn’t lie? I have many statistics just like that at home, I just don’t have the time to research the issue while here at work. The program has been used by 22,000 schools already? Haha...owned.
Methinks something ain't right also…the fact that you don’t know very many gun owners and haven’t been hunting very much in your life if even at all and that your initial emotional, knee-jerk reaction of “guns bad! NRA bad!” has made you arrive at conclusions that aren’t supported by the facts in Alans post.
Take the number of gun owners you know, multiply that number by 5, then you’ll have the number of gun owners I know and not one of them fits the description of “Willis T. Otis” that you described. We’re getting to the root of it all now – you are stereotyping the majority of gun owners as stupid, uneducated, alcoholic, wife-beating hicks with no teeth from the south. I think you have a much better chance of getting harmed by Jamal or Lamont’s gun than the character you described and anyone who isn’t blinded by political correctness knows that to be true. I remember in the county-by-county comparison of the 2000 election, average gun deaths in the counties that voted for GWB were 1.2. Average gun deaths in the counties that voted for Gore was 10.2.
From the time I was 12 years old till the time I was 27 years old my Saturday and Sunday mornings during the months of October, November and December were spent hunting with my father along with about 40 or so other hunting buddies we had (depending on what we were hunting) with many more hunters in our social circle but with whom we never actually went hunting with. We hunted deer, pheasant, quail, rabbit, squirrel, ducks, and geese. It’s because you are a liberal with a massive superiority complex that you think you can comment on Cheneys shooting abilities when anyone who has ever hunted quail will tell you that when a covey of quail is flushed, Quail go in every direction and many stay low to the ground upon taking off to take advantage of the protection offered by the tall weeds that make up their habitat. Birds like quail and pheasant don’t reach adulthood without being very, very smart.
So Rosie O Donnells life may be in danger every day – I thought it was only right wingers whose actions were guided by fear? It isn’t about her bodyguard being a trained professional, it’s the fact that she thinks she should be protected while attempting to deny the rest of us that same right.
Please tell us how Cheney tried to hide it. Is it because he told the local sheriff instead of calling the Washington press corp right away? (We’ll need more than that) It isn’t a liberal/neo-con issue whan you say that you “laughed your ass off” when somebody was shot in the face SIMPLY because you disagree with the politics of one of the parties involved. Just another of the 1345 incidents when you should have engaged brain before engaging mouth. It doesn’t matter how I “think” the “right” would have reacted but I suspect that you know your reaction was a bit wrong and you are trying to project your failings onto “the right” now. I can assure you that Rush, Hugh Hewitt and Dennis Prager would have commented on the matter but would not have laughed at all.
I think Cheney should be fined and should pay the fine for hunting without a license, just like us peasants would have to. When one is involved in a hunting accident there are no “rates” to increase and no special safety courses to take. Just learn to be more careful. I’m sure he feels bad enough as it is.
Btw Cubs tickets go on sale this Friday and the Cubs/Cardinals game on Thursday July 27 is a night game. Boo-ya.
HMHC - with all due respect to Mr. Cheney, the fact that "he feels bad enough already" doesn't absolve him from the responsibility of knowing how to handle firearms safely. I'm on Markadelphia's side when it comes to the notion that, not only should he be responsible for paying any fines, etc., but it is certainly common sense for somebody involved in an accidental shooting to be required to attend gun safety 101 if they want to handle a gun again. The consequences of "just learning to be more careful" can be far too high. The nonchalance with which you address that issue is part of the problem I believe Markadelphia addresses, no doubt obscured by his naked disdain for Bush/Cheney.
It's incredibly disturbing to me that, as an adult in Minnesota, for a nominal fee I am allowed to charge into the woods carrying a loaded weapon. Aside from the fact that I feel no compulsion to slaughter defenseless animals just for the sport of it, I'd just be lucky to point the working end of the gun in approximately the right direction. But at least I'm bright enough to recognize my own ignorance. Markadelphia's bane seems to be the collection of humanity that is not so cognizant of their shortcomings. The more hoops that a gun owner/carrier has to jump through, the better, as far as I'm concerned.
An organization such as the NRA that paves the way for people to own guns but bears no responsibility for the consequences is a gigantic blight on this country, in my book. I do commend their continued efforts to provide education opportunities, but I don't know that those opportunities keep up with the need. To Alan's point about how "Parents should decide how their children are taught about guns"....that's spot-on from a common sense perspective, but it falls short from a practical perspective. Wishing that people (kids and adults) aren't learning about guns from the news, movies, tv, video games, etc., doesn't make it so. To quote the most sagacious fictional boxing trainer that I know:
You can wish in one hand and crap in the other, and see which one gets filled first
Indeed my statements don't absolve him from any responsibility which is why I said "I think Cheney should be fined and should pay the fine for hunting without a license" in my last post. I wouldn't conclude that Cheney doesn't know how to handle firearms safely from this incident. Using that same logic, I've only been in 1 car accident and received 1 parking ticket in my 15 years of driving, does that make me a bad driver in need of more training? I guess my statements came from a perspective of "this is the way things are now" with regards to him just learning to be more careful. If you think more can be done following an incident like this I don't disagree and that sounds like an idea that, if implemented, I wouldn't have a problem with. Even though in the eyes of the law I was not at fault in my car accident (it was a bang-bang-bang situation and I was the middle guy)I knew what I did wrong and I didn't need to go to class to have someone tell me what I did wrong.
The fundamental difference between car accidents and shooting accidents being the fact that there are countless scenarios (yours and mine included) where you can be in an accident and have done nothing wrong, whereas you cannot accidentally shoot somebody without having done something wrong.
I have no doubt that, if in the same situation, you'd know exactly what you did wrong. I'm confident that Cheney knows exactly what he did wrong and feels awful about it. I'm not worried about you two as much as I am the untold segment of the population that either doesn't know any better or, even worse, thinks they do.
To continue with the driving comparison....at least there is a basic skills examination required to legally get behind the wheel of a car. There's no such examination required to own and operate a gun. That's frightening when you sit back and think about it. Not to suggest that the driver's examination is a foolproof litmus test of competency...we all know it's not. But I don't know of anybody who failed the driver's test who has ever bitched about their rights being violated. I don't know of anybody objecting to laws currently in place to prevent vehicles from being on the road that serve no practical purpose and would only endanger lives. I don't know of a lobby dedicated to getting people behind the wheel and then washing their hands of responsibility for the outcome.
Again, I commend the NRA for their education programs. I commend the NRA and state organizations like the MN-DNR who urge people to take firearms safety courses. I just believe it's appropriate to recognize that, rather than take away guns from everybody, we can do more to ensure that people who have guns know what they're doing.
....interesting
I own several guns, have done a minimum of hunting and am not a supporter of the NRA. There are elements in many social and political groups that are over zealous and I believe that the NRA has more than its share. I don't support groups with that kind of character, but that being said, I do believe people have the right to own guns. I think that there is a slight mischaracterization or confusion between those that believe in the right to bear arms and the NRA being the only viable means of expressing that right.
I don't think that school is a good place to teach children about guns. I know that it falls into the public safety and health category, but being a shooter, and a father, I don't think that kids can be taught what they need to know in a school setting and that by bringing to bear cartoon figures that instruct children how to handle guns there is the risk of confusing the issue. Cartoon figures don't die, aren't severly maimed or spurt blood (typically) and I think from the get-go there is a problem with having that sort of figure as an instructor. The message to kids should be very simply that they should not touch guns that they find and that they should tell an adult. Period. Simple, clear, message that is difficult to confuse.
As for Dick Cheney...I think there are alot of problems with the whole thing. I don't like the fact that an ex-alchoholic was drinking and then going out hunting. I think that shows bad judgement. As for accidents, of course it was an accident. It was one that could have and should have been prevented by following the simple rules of hunting in a group. If you don't know where your other party members are, you don't discharge your weapon. A clear shot at an identified target is the rule of thumb. Can a quail hunt be chaotic...I'm sure that it can be, but by following the rules, you can prevent from shooting people. I don't like the lateness of the reporting of the accident and I don't like that it took Cheney as long as it did to come clean. Even if there is nothing fishy behind it, it doesn't wear well to keep this sort of thing on the back burner for a couple of days. I think that it was poor decision making on Cheney's part. He should pay the applicable fines and should be made to take a safety course, just like other people have to do. I agree with Markadelphia that Cheney is a dislikable man, I find it repulsive that someone who has put so much energy into advocating a war was one of the bunch that took deferment after deferment for his turn to serve. The same goes for Bush.
I made the last comment...for some reason it listed me as anonymous
"No, no...you won't catch any NRA chickenhawks actually fighting for their country."
Of course it's not a good thing to fight for one's country when said fight is evil and wrongheaded, like that in Iraq. FACT. I'm not an NRA chickenhawk, but I would never fight in Iraq since it's wrong to the very core.
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