...and the best answer I have ever seen was posted. In addition to this being the best answer I have ever seen, it's also one of the finest examples of satire I have ever seen. Here it is in its entirety...
The questions was how exactly are Christians under attack in the United States?
I'll tell you how:
1. Churches in the USA are regularly burned down by atheists, Muslims, and other anti-Christians, and the secular law enforcement agencies here won't even investigate. That's why you rarely see a church that can be identified as a church in the US. Mostly, Christians meet in hidden locations to avoid detection.
2. It's almost impossible for Christians to get elected to public office. As soon as word gets out that a candidate is Christian, s/he can kiss that election good-bye.
3. The Bible has been banned in the United States. You can't get it here legally, and if you're caught with one you'll go to prison.
4. Christian kids live in fear of their schoolmates discovering they're Christian, because it's bound to lead to teasing, bullying, even getting beaten up.
5. All broadcasting of Christian views has been censored. Try as you might, you will not find a Christian radio or TV station in the US. They do not exist.
6. Christian holidays are forbidden. You'll never hear a peep about Christmas or Easter in the US -- people are simply too afraid to openly celebrate these holidays. Which is a shame for people like me because there would be oodles of marketing opportunities around those events, but alas, no.
7. All Christian symbols are banned. You cannot find Christian jewelry, bumper stickers, t-shirts, or anything like that in the US.
8. Christians who dare reveal their identity, or who are even suspected of being Christian, are regularly beaten in the streets by angry mobs. And again, the secular law enforcement here does nothing to stop it.
9. Christians in America are forced to publicly deny their faith, and to perform public actions to prove they are not Christian, such as being forced into a gay marriage. The alternative is life in prison, or execution.
10. People who are openly Christian here cannot own a business, are harassed at the voting booth so that many do not even attempt to vote, are subjected to special taxes no one else has to pay, and must have a cross stamped on their driver licenses, Social Security cards, and passports.
In short, America is a brutal and frightening place if you're a Christian. I wouldn't go there if I were you.
The answer has gotten over 3,000 views already with my question over 8,000 views. No wonder...it's completely brilliant and makes conservative Christians look fucking ridiculous.
The only thing that is under attack is the ability of a conservative Christian (see also, fucking hypocrites) to force their opinion on the rest of Christianity. That's what they are really pissed off about.
We are calling them on their bullshit.
3 comments:
Apparently the people at Quora don't understand the concept of satire.
Whether it's religious leaders or government leaders, nosing themselves into other people's business is wrong. People should be allowed to live their lives with as little intrusion as possible. Christians are not under attack in this country so you are right. They are just angry that they don't have as much of a right to tell people what to do anymore.
I guess Ernie is appealing his answer to be uncollapsed. It's clearly not a "joke" per se and is great hyperbole to illustrate the reality that Christians enjoy an overwhelming hegemony in this country.
It's pretty clearly satire. Or this person is off their meds and thinks .gov is using chemtrails to control the weather and minds, or some such nonsense.
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