Contributors

Friday, June 23, 2017

Jobs Trump Says He Saved Going to Mexico

As a candidate Donald Trump claimed he would completely stop the flow of jobs to Mexico. In December he claimed he forced Carrier to keep jobs at a plant in Indiana.

But it was all a lie. Six hundred people at the plant in Indianapolis are getting laid off between now and Christmas, even after the state gave them $7 million in tax gimmicks. It was all a scam: the money Carrier is getting will be used to finance greater automation at the plant, not hire workers.

Trump is breaking all his promises: the health care plan Republicans are working will cost more and cover less. The people who voted for Trump will be screwed worst of all.

After criticizing George W. Bush for military adventures in the Middle East, Trump is ramping up the US military forces in Afghanistan, shooting down Syrian warplanes, sucking up to Saudi Arabia and badmouthing allies like Qatar as terrorists while simultaneously selling them billions of dollars of military hardware.

Trump promised a Muslim travel ban, but the courts have shut it down, mostly because Trump sabotaged his own executive order by flapping his big fat yap and Twittering with his fat, stubby fingers in the middle of the night.

Trump complained that Obama golfed too much, and in just five months he's been golfing more than Obama ever did.

Speaking of golf, Trump is so fat and out of shape that he drove a golf cart on a green at the course where the women's U.S. Open will be held next month. I guess that'll put those women in their place.

His staff is divided into at least two warring camps (pro-Bannon and pro-Kushner), all of whom are leaking furiously to the press to make the other guys look bad.

Trump's press secretary Sean Spicer has banned the press from recording the daily briefing because Trump keeps contradicting everything Spicer says, and the administration tired of looking like a pack of confused and lying idiots.

After claiming he has accomplished more than any president in history in his first 100 days in office, Trump has in fact accomplished nothing in five months except make himself look like a petty, foolish puppet of Vladimir Putin.

Three different lawsuits have been filed against Trump for violating the emoluments clause of the Constitution for receiving money from foreign governments from the businesses he refuses to divest from.

And, of course, Trump is now under investigation for obstruction of justice after firing FBI Director James Comey for refusing to drop the investigation of Michael Flynn's Russian connections.

And what does Trump do? He goes to Iowa to hold a campaign rally when the next election is three god-damned years away!

To quote Trump verbatim: how stupid are the people of Iowa?

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