A Giant Pile of Steaming...(Part 7 of 7)

The best for last, natch!

Scenario:
Pedro fails high school English.
1958 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English and goes to college.
2008 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state.
Newspaper articles appear nationally
explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist.
ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system
and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core curriculum.
Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up
mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

What a grand display of hyper inflated over exago bull crap. And, yes, FUCKING RACIST! This is the exact kind of bullshit that will piss me off no matter who the fuck is president. The fact that...and I know this is true because I hear about it every day from some of my conservative friends....these people think that if you don't learn English you end up mowing lawns is, without a doubt, the purest example of ego centrism combined with jingoism I have ever seen. Guess what, d bags? We aren't number one anymore largely thanks to the buffoon who occupied the oval office from 2001 to 2009. If any language should be learned, it's Chinese, not English.

"English banned from core curriculum?" Douche Bag Code for "Them firners are a comin'!"

"ACLU files...?" Douche Bag Code for "Please release your inner racist or you will be speaking firner soon."

"Newspaper articles appear nationally..." Douche Bag code for "All media are liberal commies who should be taken to camps and/or shot in the head."

"Pedro's cause is taken.." Douche Bag code for "Liberals are fascists who want to take your guns."

How much longer are we going to listen to this crap? People that say these types of things are fucking liars. Period. Liars who seek only to instill fear and fan rage.

The real reason why Pedro has failed high school English was that he was probably given a standardized test (see: No Child Left Behind) that has no sensitivity whatsoever to his learning style or his culturally diverse background. This essentially means that it is the worst fucking gauge of his actual intelligence.

In addition, his instructor was more than likely a lazy ass and did not pay attention to Pedro's differentiated learning style. If, instead of lecture, he had been taught in one of the other MILLION instructional strategies available to teachers, he would NOT have failed. Off the top of my head, if I have an ELL (English Language Learner) in one of my classes, I try to use as much audio and visual material as I can. I certainly don't stand up there and jabber away with an ego the size of a hot fucking air balloon while my students doodle, text, or pass out from boredom.

So, all of you...please...the next time you hear anything remotely like this, call the moron on their bullshit. Tell them to take a walk down Main Street and see who actually lives in our country now as opposed to the make believe land they have in their delusions.

A Giant Pile of Steaming....(Part 6 of 7)

More silliness...

Scenario:
Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee.
He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.
1958 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2008 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job.
She faces 3 years in State Prison.
Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.

Ok, this happens every day at my kid's school and no one is accused of being a sexual predator. In fact, I would wager that it goes on in most schools and this is just more "code" for psychology is a myth and if everyone just pulled themselves up by their boot straps, their lives would be fine.

A Giant Pile of Steaming....(Part 5 of 7)

This one is sort of vague.

Scenario:
Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July,
puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed.
1958 - Ants die.
2008- BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called.
Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, FBI investigates parents,
siblings removed from home, computers confiscated,
Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list
and is never allowed to fly again.

I assume they mean at school? If not, this happens pretty much all summer long in my neighborhood and no one so much as lifts a finger.

A Giant Pile of Steaming...(part 4 of 7)

This one is just plain silly.

Scenario:

Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1958 - Mark shares aspirin with Principal out on the smoking dock.
2008 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations.
Car searched for drugs and weapons.

First of all, smoking dock? I asked everyone I know who was alive in 1958 if their school had a smoking dock and the answer from everyone was no. Teachers could smoke in the teacher's lounge but students got in trouble if they got caught with cigarettes.

As a parent, I can also relate that there are a wide variety of forms that parents can fill out to allow their kids to take aspirin, Tylenol, or anything else they might need. No police are called, no cars are searched, and no one is expelled.

The conceptual lens of people who think this way is in desperate need of an anti-bacterial wash.

A Giant Pile of Steaming...(Part 3 of 7)

Continuing with the email forward...

Scenario:
Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.
1958 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins.
Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2008 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark.
Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it

They shake hands and end up buddies? Seriously, is this person writing this email FROM the year 1958 and is his Dad named Ward Cleaver?

I showed my mom this and she laughed. As a principal, she told me what actually happens as opposed to what happens in ignorant over exago land.

No Swat team is called and no charges are filed. Both Johnny and Mark are shown to my mom's office. She asks them what happened. They both lie. Their parents are called in and told that the children are suspended for a day or more (depending upon the severity of the fight). They come back to school and avoid each other for awhile eventually becoming more concerned seeing the latest comic book movie.

A Giant Pile of Steaming...(Part 2 of 7)

Continuing on with the email forward I received from a friend.

Scenario:
Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car
and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1958 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal,
goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2008 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse.
Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang.
State psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers
being abused herself and their dad goes to prison.
Billy's mom has affair with psychologist.

Actually, what 1958 should read is this:

Billy has a wide variety of mental and emotional issues related to the physical abuse his dad inflicted on him, fails to go to college or land a decent job, and grows up to abuse his own kids because that's WHAT ACTUALLY FUCKING HAPPENS IN THE REAL WORLD AS OPPOSED TO NEVER NEVER LAND!!!

The person who wrote this email clearly has never spent any time with abused children or adults and is completely lacking in any sort of knowledge of even rudimentary psychology and behavior development. To them, these fields are probably just "more liberal bullshit" which is quite apparent in their view of 2008. What a bunch of over exaggerated nonsense.

In addition, what's with the violence thing again? Seriously, I honestly think that people that view the world this way get off on beatings and death. It reminds me of the time I watched the Passion of the Christ a few years back. I was with some friends of mine who are very right wing Christians and, for many of them, it was their third or fourth time! Honestly, I could only watch Jesus Christ being beaten and mutilated once. It was sad and nauseating. They didn't seem to mind, though, as they were over taken by emotion and, strangely, almost seemed to enjoy it.

Put that together with how they seem to always have to find an enemy to blow up somewhere and it really makes you wonder. Maybe they might fit in just fine in Iran or Saudi Arabia.

A Giant Pile of Steaming...(Part 1 of 7)

Last week a friend of mine sent me an email forward that I have decided to make the topic of the week. I want to be clear up front that the person that did sent to me is a very kind hearted and wonderful human being who viewed this email as a joke. I am hoping that when all of you read it you will find it to be yet another excellent example of a giant pile of steaming right wing tap into your inner rage horse manure that, sadly, she did not recognize.

Each email consisted of a comparison between a school in 1958 and a school today. There were 8 comparisons and a concluded paragraph which ordered

This email should hit every email box to show how stupid we have become.

So, let's take a look at how "stupid" we have become and start off our Monday with two comparisons.

Scenario:
Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students.
1958 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the Principal.
Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2008 - Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie.
Tested for ADD. School gets extra money from state
because Jeffrey has a disability.

Scenario:

Jack goes quail hunting before school,
pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.
1958 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun,
goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
2008 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail
and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselor called in
for traumatized students and teachers.

Let's begin the idiocy in the first example of beating a child with ADD. Really? Is that a solution for someone who has a learning disorder...violence? As we go through the week, we will see more examples of how violence seems to be the only answer for people who think like this...which, of course, begs the question...aren't believers in Christ supposed to support non violence?

And of course, we do have the rip about the school "getting money from the state" which is right wing douche bag code word for "evil" big government taking YOUR money and giving it some retard somewhere. If only that gimp could heed those magic words of the right....just pull yourself up by your bootstraps and everything will be fine.

The second example shows an oldie but a goodie...Gubmint's a comin' to take our guns! I loves my guns! And then Jack is going to be sent away...to jail! What a pantload. First of all, who goes quail hunting before school? And if they do, it is probably in Montana or Wyoming where no one is going to call the FBI. I do quite enjoy the counselors getting called in thing though because everyone in education, of course, are all a bunch of lily livered faggots who are all a-feared of guns...right?

Now, the do have a good point about the over medication which is why I paired these two together. If Jack were on an SSRI (Serotonin Re-Uptake Inhibitor), then he would probably go on a school shooting spree. Drugs like Paxil, Prozac, and Lexepro should never be given to any person under the age of 21 as they tend to make their still developing minds think more violently (1 out of 100 young adults!) and possibly act that way. Look at any school shooting in the last ten years and ALL of the gunmen have been on anti depressants.

But seriously...this makes us "stupid?" That we want to take care of people that are mentally challenged? That we don't want our children to carry guns in schools? That we don't beat our kids anymore?

Folks, the word "stupid" is actually right wing douche bag code for "weak." Essentially, problems are too complex for them in today's society so...let's resort to violence, which seems to be their answer for everything. Anyone want to guess what countries in the world still beat their students and mistreat children that are mentally challenged?

Iran, Saudi Arabia, Syria, Pakistan...

So I guess the right wants us to be just like them:)

Cool.

The Grudge Match

Rush Limbaugh, who I guess is now the head of the GOP now that Michael Steele wussed out, has challenged President Obama to an on air duel. While it's doubtful that it will ever happen, it does bring up some interesting ideas.

A few weeks ago I wrote about how President Obama made his first mistake by even mentioning Rush Limbaugh. For the most part, I think this is still true. He has much more important things on his mind than to address an entertainer. But now this entertainer has hilariously been set up as the head of the opposition which, in all honesty, is fucking great, I hope Rush stays in the news for a long time. Why?

Now the entire country can truly see what the GOP has become...an ignorant, hate filled group of jingoistic psychotics who subscribe to a divisive belief system. Either you are with us or you are a traitor, is their motto and they will shout it to the highest tree tops in identifying who are the enemies of the state...who are the "real" Americans and who are not.

If President Obama is even marginally successful in his efforts to help the economy, it will be the end of the douche bagedness of the conservative movement in this country. It might even be the end of the GOP period. Check out this quote from another blog I post on:

We will fracture from the Repubes and go by a new party name-the Limbaughians. And then he can head things up. I will gladly go to work for him. He loves smart women, pays very well, and we are on the same page ideologically. I could never work for a liberal.

Cool.

Pelosi on Hannity

Here is a clip of Alexandra Pelosi hawking her HBO special on Hannity. They show another clip from the doc which is very interesting...Hannity as the messiah.

Also, check out how much he fawns over Alex:)

A Clip

As promised, here is a clip from Right America: Feeling Wronged.

A Sad Tale

Last week I had the pleasure, if you can call it that, of watching the HBO documentary Right America: Feeling Wronged directed by Alexandra Pelosi. Yes, she is the daughter of Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi. Before all you righties out there start screaming about bias, Alexandra did direct the wonderful film Journeys With George which chronicled the 2000 campaign of George W Bush. President Bush and Ms. Pelosi became friends during the filming in which she was allowed complete access to him. They are still friends to this day so please...leave the fucking "tap into your inner rage about liberal media bias" thing over at the Kool Aid stand.

Her latest film examines the aftermath of President Obama's election and its effect on right wing America. I started it and stopped it at least three times (had it on TiVo) because I just could not take the magnitude of the ignorance in the 50 minute piece. Finally, as any political wonk would, I somehow managed to get through it. I'll put up a clip tomorrow from the film but I urge all of you who have HBO to watch this documentary. It will be airing on HBO all month. After you do, let me know if you reach the same conclusions that I did, which are:

• Complete vindication of my assertion that the loons in the Republican Party are far more abundant, organized, and strong than the loons on the left. In fact, they are the base of the conservative movement.
• Just as with the loons on the left, their complete and utter ignorance knows no bounds.
• Their ignorance is willful...again just like on the left.
  
• Complete destruction of Jonah Goldberg's fucking dumb ass theory that liberals are secretly fascists. Watch this documentary and you will see that the conservative movement is about fervent and warped nationalism fed by very strict views on race, gender, religion, and sexual orientation....all key ingredients to a fascist state (more on this later in the week).
  

Now, Pelosi says that "while not representative of the entire Republican Party, these are just some of the party faithful who turned out at campaign rallies along the way." Of course she has to say that in an attempt to sound fair and balanced. And even I am willing to admit that, after numerous arguments over the years about Yassar Arafat being a "freedom fighter," the left is full of shit about many things.

But where is the left's equivalent of Rush Limbaugh...or should I say Herr Limbaugh? His speech delivered at the CPAC conference over the weekend was nauseating. He talked a lot about freedom...freedom as long as its his way, mind you. Where is the left's equivalent of CPAC? Or Grover Norquist? Or Sinclair Broadcasting? Or Clear Channel? Oh, that's right. That would be the delusion that NBC, ABC, and CBS are all liberal.

Honestly, folks, I just don't see any sort of organizing principle on the left like I do on the right...like we clearly see in this documentary. To simply say that "there are just as many crazies on the left as on the right" is overly simplistic. Jerry Falwell said it best when he said that the conservative base is the largest minority voting bloc in this country. Guess what?

They all turned out for Alexandra Pelosi.

Still Laughing (and hurting from it)

Thanks to Last in Line for sharing this with me...this is the funniest thing I have seen since "Jizz in My Pants."

Once Again, Remarkable

Yesterday, President Obama called various leaders of Congress, of both parties, as well as key US financial minds to the White House for a meeting on fiscal responsibility. In what has to be one of the most interesting things I have ever seen, he set up the event like a press conference in which he was standing at the front fielding questions and everyone else was out in the audience. I'm not sure I have ever seen a president do this before...certainly not the last four. It sets the tone for how different our new leader is going to run the show.

He took some tough questions and had some very interesting answers..one of which was a promise to reduce the federal deficit by half. He said that the economic crisis “will require us to make difficult decisions" and that he “going through our budget line by line to root out waste and inefficiency,” and “eliminating programs that don’t work.” In addition, he “will stop the fraud and abuse” and “make more tough choices,” he said, “to start living within our means again." All of this said after last week's remarks regarding cuts in Social Security, Medicare and a reformation the tax code. What the? Is he really a Democrat?

But talk isn't enough...which is what most Republicans said who attended the meeting...I think with good cause. As our new President addresses Congress tonight and unveils his budget on Thursday, let's all take an honest look to see if he is going to actually make cuts and raise revenues.

Alright, conservatives, if you see the cuts are you going to give him credit or will you continue to do the "tap into your inner rage and find fault with everything" rag?

And My Pick Is.....

Tonight are the Oscars. It seems like Slumdog Millionaire has all the momentum. Of the five films nominated, I think that Milk is the best but I think Slumdog will win. Milk has really hung with me in the last week and it is such an amazing film.

If I had to rate the rest of them I guess Frost Nixon is a close second followed by Benjamin Button, then Slumdog and finally The Reader.

Where It All Began

I thought I would save Frost Nixon, the fifth of the five films to be nominated for this year's Academy Awards, for last. Why? Of all of the films nominated this year, Ron Howard's latest gem is the most congruent with the subject matter of this blog.

To begin with, the film is excellent. Frank Langella and Michael Sheen are absolutely stunning in their performances. The supporting cast, consisting of Sam Rockwell, Kevin Bacon, and Oliver Platt, is also quite good. The film is based on the great interviews that David Frost had with Richard Nixon in 1977.

For me, the most intriguing part of the film (actually using the interviews themselves as dialog) was the haunting similarity between Nixon's explanations of Watergate/Vietnam and President Bush's explanations of...well everything he did. Dick Cheney and Don Rumsfeld both worked for Richard Nixon in his second administration and they learned well from the master. The complete and utter bald face lies told time and again in the face of basic facts is as nauseating today as it was 31 years ago.

The money line:

"I'm saying that when the president does it, it's not illegal"

Sound familiar?

Tell Me A Story

Braving the relatively minor snowfall last night which, for some reason, inexplicably causes the new wimpy Minnesotan to drive like total douche bags (see: green light means FUCKING GO, BITCH), I trekked over to neighboring Edina to see The Reader.

Based on the novel, the film tells the story of a young man named Michael who has a chance encounter with an older woman named Hannah. They have an affair over the spring and summer of 1958 in which he learns the art of love making. It's been awhile since I was turned on...in that way...by a regular film and some of scenes gave me the screaming thigh sweats!

Hannah moves unexpectedly and leaves Michael wondering what happened. Years later, Michael is a law student and goes with this class to watch trials of suspected Nazi sympathizers. It turns out that Hannah is one of the suspects and the story unfolds from there in a very tragic yet terribly romantic way.

Ralph Fiennes plays the older version of Michael who is essentially a man who never got over his one true love. The main hook of the story, which I want give away, is very near and dear to me as I am a vociferous reader. Kate Winslett is her usual wonderful self and has several nude scenes ( great ass btw). David Kross plays the young Michael and is the real star of this film. He does silence better than any actor I have seen in a long while.

For those of you looking for a night of tragic passion and unrequited love, check this one out.

Life Outside the Bubble

Slumdog Millionaire was the first of the five films nominated for Best Picture that I saw. Generally, I had an idea what it was about but had no idea that it would be as compelling as it was.

The film tells a story of a young man named Jamal Malik and his rise from the slums of Mumbai all the way to a chance appearance on the Indian version of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. Jamal is played by Dev Patel who I knew I was going to like because of my obsession with the British TV show Skins.

As he recounts his life to a police office who is torturing him for information as to why he made it onto the game show in the first place, we see the horrors of poverty, the insanity of the human condition, and, of course, the power of love. For most Americans, the sight of the slums in India is horrific. When I saw the film, there were actually people shouting at the screen because they couldn't believe what young Jamal had seen and done in his life.

Convectional wisdom says this is the one that is going to win. I'm holding out my pick until I see The Reader tomorrow night.

Americana At Its Best

Continuing with the Oscar nominations for Best Picture, last Sunday night I took in The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Of the five films nominated, I thought this one would be the one I would like the least. It turned out to be one of my favorites.

The film tells the story of a man born old and living backwards...getting younger and younger as the years roll on. His story begins in 1918 and moves forward to present day. The first hour of the film is typical period piece, shoo in for and Oscar nom fare. As we get into the World War Two years, the tone becomes a little more stark. Right about at mid point (the film is almost three hours) you realize that this is a movie about the relationships that one has in one's life. In particular, how the people you love are dynamic...in a constant state of change...and are highly unpredictable.

I have been going through some tough stuff with one such relationship in my life recently and, as usual, the reason why I love films as much as I do was fully illustrated in this narrative. The relationship between Benjamin (Brad Pitt) and Daisy (Cate Blanchett) was nothing short of extraordinary. I have always had questions in my head, for my whole life really, about relationships....questions like why does love seem eternally unfilled...confused...sad..and ultimately lonely?

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button answers these questions quite well which, as films often do, made me feel a lot better about the aformentioned relationship.

And it is a very nice tapestry of Americana, from a rabid historian's point of view.

Harvey Delivers from the Grave

A couple of nights ago I called my 91 year old grandmother to check in. I try to call her at least a couple of times a week since my grandfather passed away last April. She was doing just fine.

My grandmother has been a staunch conservative for her entire life. She has gone to the same church for over 60 years and is a strict believer in the word of God.

So, it came as a real surprise to me that she told me that she saw the film MILK recently with her friends. The movie, currently nominated for several Oscars including Best Picture, Best Actor, and Best Screenplay, tells the story of Harvey Milk, the first openly gay man to be elected to a public office.

Milk was elected to the San Francisco Board of Supervisors in 1977. He also was instrumental in defeating Proposition 6, a state wide referendum which would have banned all homosexuals from teaching in public schools. He, along with Mayor George Muscone, was assassinated by another member of the Board named Dan White on November 27, 1978. White's motive was anger over the liberal, multi cultural turn that the board had taken. In addition to electing the first gay man, the Board had also elected its first single mom and first Chinese American, two other people that White had planned on killing but changed his mind after he shot Muscone 4 times (3 in the head) and Milk also 5 times (2 in the head) with hollow point bullets.

I had recently seen the film as well, being a part of my usual Oscar blitz at this time of year, and both of us talked about it. She remarked of the horrible treatment by fellow Americans that gay people have had to endure which is depicted quite vividly in the film. She was angry at how un-Christian supposed followers of Jesus were when the topic of homosexuality comes up. And then she dropped a bomb shell on me.

She told me that homosexuals are born the way God intended them to be and it was not learned behavior like some people thought. Wow! Even 20 years after he was shot, Harvey is still changing people's minds.

Needless to say, I was very happy. We talked some more about the film and how incredibly sad it was that America has so many stories about people who try to stand up and change things to make people happier only to be gunned down by psychotic morons.

If you go see the film, a word of warning: they show everything in the assassination scene. It is very difficult to watch. I have no qualms about saying that I wept like a baby before, during and after it.

Guess What?

Well that didn't take long. From CNN.com

Blogger Michelle Malkin, in a story on the conservative Web site TownHall.com on Wednesday, said that if Hughes "had more time, she probably would have remembered to ask Obama to fill up her gas tank, too."

"The soul-fixer dutifully asked her name, gave her a hug and ordered his staff to meet with her. Supporters cried, 'Amen!' and 'Yes!' " she added.

"How does a 61-year-old homeless woman who's living in a pickup truck with her son JUST HAPPEN to get a ticket so she can VERY PUBLICLY ask Prez. Obama for a HOUSE? Anyone? Who pushes her up on stage? She's right at the front of the crowd. Did she just happen to get a seat there?" asked reader Erik E.

I don't know, Erik but as is the usual with the right, you have demonstrated a complete lack of taking any sort of responsibility and completely missed the point.

What a fucking shock.