Contributors

Sunday, May 01, 2011

Republican Jesus

Most of you don't know this but I spent a fair amount of time avoiding Christianity. From about my sophomore year in high school until 20 years after that, I considered myself more of a polytheist. Right around 8 years ago, however, I realized that I didn't have to worship the Jesus that was being peddled to me by the right as being the "One True Jesus."

In other words, I stopped believing in Republican Jesus and believed in the one that the Bible states (clearly!) is for everyone.

A few days ago, I put up some Republican Jesus cartoons. The source of those was this fantastic column by a new fave of mine, Justin Rosario. This post is perfectly illustrative of a number of things that I think are really important.

First, it shows the journey of a man that was similar to mine.

Somewhere in there, I learned that we don’t have a national religion and people were free to practice whatever religion they wanted.

That's what I learned in school as well. He also saw what I saw during that time with the right.

Even with the Young Republicans during that first Bush presidency, I wasn’t assaulted with any kind of religious politics. I did find a good deal of racism which gave me a big clue about how Republicans see the world.

Yep. Same here.These Republicans are still around, though, and represent the business wing of the party.

But during Bush’s tenure, I started hearing the more than occasional remark about how not believing in God makes you a bad American and if you were a LIBERAL that didn’t believe in God? Scum of the Earth! Wait a minute. Not believing in God (or, more precisely, not believing in a very specific version of God) makes me a bad American? How does that even work? This country was founded on religious freedom and the explicit separation of Church and State, wasn’t it? 

This was right around the time I decided that I didn't have to believe in their warped version of Jesus Christ. Sadly, folks, Republican Jesus is an awful lot like Al Qaeda Mohammed. What's happened is the lines between civil religion and Christianity have blurred together with a whole lot of hate, anger, and fear to give us what we have today....Republican Jesus.

Republican Jesus™ is very different than the Jesus you and I are familiar with. First off, he is White. Not just white, but White. Republican Jesus™ has a special place in his heart for America. Specifically, White America. Do you doubt this? Ask yourself why anyone who believes in a colorblind Jesus would even conceive of praying for the death of Obama? No, only those who follow Republican Jesus™ would even think that such a prayer could, or should, be answered. If you are currently thinking that racism has nothing to do with the unprecedented hatred of Obama, go away, I’m talking to the grownups.

Oh, if only more liberals talked this way.

Republican Jesus™ loves the rich. Ignore that whole “camel through the eye of a needle” garbage. Republican Jesus™ wants you to be prosperous! It’s called “prosperity theology” and it percolates throughout the conservative religious fervor. God rewards the faithful with material wealth. Very spiritual stuff. If your idea of spiritual is a McMansion.

Sooner or later, this whole hypocrisy is going to come to a head. You can't worship the unregulated free market and Jesus Christ at the same time.

Republican Jesus™ hates the poor. This is the flip side of “prosperity theology”. If God rewards the faithful with riches, than the poor are obviously NOT of the faith and deserve what they get. This is, in part, why conservatives hate the social safety nets of welfare, food stamps and Medicaid. Those (and by “those” I mean those) people don’t worship Republican Jesus™ and are unworthy of being helped. Besides if you feed them, they’ll just breed!


Republican Lt. Gov. Andre Bauer of South Carolina actually said that. And he meant it.

Yep. He did. And that brings us to where we are today. Rosario has very accurately defined the real motive behind the "War on Spending" that we see being carried out with such vehemence. Of course, they may talk a good game but over two thirds of the Tea Partiers don't want Social Security or Medicare touched. Why? Because they are all fucking old and using the system themselves.

Thankfully, no one really has to worship Republican Jesus. He, like many of the beliefs of conservatives around the world, is a fairy tale distorted on purpose to serve a need by extremely weak minded people.

6 comments:

6Kings said...

If you are currently thinking that racism has nothing to do with the unprecedented hatred of Obama, go away, I’m talking to the grownups.

Oh, if only more liberals talked this way.


Yeah, so we could distinguish the idiots from the rest. If you find a racist when you are talking about Obama, call them on it. Otherwise, you are using it as an excuse for his documented lying, pathetic leadership, and fiscal irresponsibility. Too bad you can't get past your fawning of this joke of a president.

Let's see, we are spending 1.65 TRILLION more than we receive this year and you don't think we have a spending problem?! Reality, meet M!
Here is a "picture" for you liberals that are reading deficient.

juris imprudent said...

Somewhere in there, I learned that we don’t have a national religion and people were free to practice whatever religion they wanted.

You had to take a journey to reach a conclusion any 8th grader should be able to tell you? I don't think even the Westboro Baptist Church demands that we all worship in their manner. Of course it wouldn't matter if they did since they are bunch of fringe-dwelling lunatics that have no power or influence.

Thankfully, no one really has to worship Republican Jesus.

But you had to post about it none-the-less, right? Apparently you find it more interesting to build up and tear down straw-men than to actually discuss issues. Which of course is what you scream hysterically about the other side doing!

rld said...

"Worships the unregulated free market"

You keep saying this and this is only your view and does not represent very many people at all. Your definition of "worship" is probably dumbed down as well.

blk said...

The first time I heard about "prosperity theology" was with regard to Creflo A. Dollar (his real name, no kidding!), a black minister based in Georgia.

In 2007 Chuck Grassley, a Republican Senator from Iowa, held Senate hearing on Dollar and five other similar "clergymen" and some of their wives. Most are white-bread protestants, but Dollar is black, and other one, Toufik "Benny" Hinn, was born in Israel in an Orthodox family. These PT weasels are not all Anglo-Americans who who portray Jesus as a blond-haired and blue-eyed Aryan superman.

If you're going to tar people with the racist brush, you need to narrow your focus to specific individuals and give specific examples. Crusading against broad groups of people based on some relatively tenuous association they may have with others is a sure fire way to discredit your arguments to anyone except those who already agree with what you're saying.

The prosperity theology can be construed in some ways to be racist, but anyone of any race can pick up that banner and wave it to enrich themselves. Because all it's really about is money and control. At its heart, It's an excuse to throw out everything that Christ said and replace it with the self-serving idea that "God wouldn't have made me rich he wouldn't have given me all this money." Which is especially lame because many of these guys got rich by using TV broadcasting to talk impressionable impoverished and old people into giving them all their money.

Larry said...

Crusading against broad groups of people based on some relatively tenuous association they may have with others is a sure fire way to discredit your arguments to anyone except those who already agree with what you're saying.

Are you listening, Mark? Since I first became aware of your often comical train wreck of a blog, this has characterized a majority of your posts. Especially since you conflate often disparate groups (i.e., a union of sets instead of the intersection)

Anonymous said...

Larry,

Mark give up false equivalency? It ain't gonna happen. That's his only tool for demonizing conservatives. If he gave it up, he would be forced to realize that all his arguments are nothing more that a great steaming pile of ____. His entire worldview is so thoroughly dependent on believing that "the right is evil" that giving it up would cause mental destruction to the point where you could expect to find him grazing in the fields with the animals.