Are you a washed up actor or actress that needs a gig before you get spit out the bottom of the porn industry?
Well, the right wing media industrial complex WANTS YOU!
Take Janine Turner, for example. She couldn't find work anymore in that liberal cesspool called Hollywood (buncha fucking socialists who don't want to make any money) so she parlayed her talents to reach a willfully ignorant audience of millions eager to fork over the hard earned cash to commiserate with others in their fear, paranoia, anger and hatred.
Here's an example of what YOU can do!
Here are some tools. When the Democrats start ranting, use the GIRLFRIENDS acronym to forge through the storm.
G: Get Reasonable. Want to teach your children that laws don’t matter? Be a Democrat.
I: Informed on Phony Contraception Battle. Want your children to lose their religious freedom? Be a Democrat.
R: Republicans Are the Women’s Party. Want your daughter to be constrained by government? Be a Democrat.
L: Legislative Liberty Is Lost. Want your child to live under tyranny? Be a Democrat.
F: Fuel and Energy Policies Are a Farce. Want your child’s transportation to be a horse? Be a Democrat.
R: Return Women to the Workforce. Want your daughter to live off the government? Be a Democrat.
I: Insolvency — Sinking in a Sea of Debt. Want your child to live in debt, hounded by creditors? Be a Democrat.
E: Entitlement Society — “Give me Liberty and Gimme, Gimme!” Want your child to be dependent on other people’s money? Be a Democrat.
N: National Security — We Are Vulnerable. Want to teach your child it’s okay to be bullied? Be a Democrat.
D: Darkness — Democrats Want Us to Be in the Dark. Want your child to sit in the dark? Be a Democrat.
S: Sick — Our Health Care Will Soon Be Hopeless. Want your child to be sick for a year? Be a Democrat.
Steady paychecks guaranteed by Bill Whittle. And remember, it doesn't matter at all if you believe what you are saying or are even factual. This has $$$ written all over it!
So why let Sarah Palin get all the market share? This is one oil well that won't dry up (wink wink!)
4 comments:
Meh. No worse than Janine Grrawfulo, just different slant. And a lot less greasy and scrofulous. Ms. Turner looked a lot better as a brunette, but at least she washes her hair. And a lot more coherent than Rosie O'Donnell or Roseanne Barr. And a lot less foul-mouthed than the loony Ellen Barkin. And less paranoid than Algore's manliness adviser Naomi Wolf.
I'll take Ms. Turner any day.
She couldn't find work anymore in that liberal cesspool called Hollywood
Yeah, imagine that, she ain't that cute little brunette anymore and BAM - Hollywood says Fuck You. By all means M - you defend Hollywood and all it stands for. Hollywood was the Michael Jordan generation before you were squirted into this world.
Sheesh.
No worse than Janine Grrawfulo, just different slant.
Of course it is. Ah, the sweet elixir of false equivalencies to make yourself feel better...
What does that even mean? That makes no sense, Mark.
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