Conservatives and The Gold Standard

For years many conservatives have been insisting the United States return to the gold standard, with putzes like Glenn Beck hawking gold on TV at inflated prices.

Ted Cruz and Ben Carson pulled the gold standard out of their asses in the most recent Republican presidential debate. The New York Times has an article that explains the technical reasons why some conservatives want it (to limit government spending) and why it's stupid (it causes deflationary spirals and depressions).

But the gold standard is bad for other reasons. It would give more power to countries that produce gold. What countries produce the most gold? In order of production in 2014: China, Australia, Russia and the United States. We're number 4! We're number 4!

Do we really want to give China and Russia that much control over the United States' economy?

And there really isn't very much gold in the world: last year the entire world's production was 2,860 metric tons. A cubic meter of gold weighs 19 metric tons. That means that the entire output of all the gold mines in the world was only 150 cubic meters, or a cube measuring 5.3 meters on a side, about 17 feet.

I could store the entire annual global production of gold in my basement. All the gold produced in history would fit in a cube 68 feet on a side -- you could stack it all on the basketball court in Madison Square Garden.

The idea that the best use of gold is to have it sit around in vaults collecting dust is sheer stupidity. Gold should be used for things of real, practical value. It's extremely useful in electronics because it's a good conductor and doesn't corrode. It's used in spacecraft for the same reasons, plus it acts as a lubricant. It's used in dentistry and medicine, timepieces and jewelry. And of course, to plate every knick-knack in Donald Trump's apartment.

It's crazy that Ted Cruz thinks the best use of US government resources is to buy gold from China and Russia and then let it sit in Fort Knox doing absolutely nothing, meanwhile jacking up the price of every wedding ring, computer, cellphone and television set on the planet.

But the real reason the gold standard is coming up now? Because it sounds cool. The phrase "gold standard" has a cachet of excellence. It was a Democrat, Franklin Roosevelt, who got the United States off the gold standard -- and ended the Great Depression, but never mind that. Gold standard -- good, Democrats -- bad!

Ted Cruz is bringing up the gold standard not because it has any merit, but because he wants to associate himself with something that sounds cool. He thinks most conservatives are dumb and easily duped by promises of wealth, and a country on the gold standard would be really wealthy! That, and it would make his gold-hoarding speculator pals incredibly rich overnight.

The gold standard is emblematic of the conservative mindset of flash over substance, and the overriding emphasis of money over human well-being.