Tomorrow I will be putting my first stub up in my series of profiles on the 2008 Presidential Candidates. I will be ranking them each with a letter grade, starting with the worst candidate and ending with the best one. I have to admit that all of them, Republican and Democrat alike, are a full letter grade or more above President Bush, who stands at a F. So, regardless of who wins, our long national nightmare will finally be over.
And you know what? It really can't come too soon. I didn't think it was possible to be MORE nauseated by Bush Co and their chin-high level of bullshit but last week drove me even further over the edge. Last Tuesday the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform heard testimony from Jessica Lynch and Kevin Tillman. Remember Jessica Lynch? She was the

young, Brittney Spears type who fought off the evil hoards of the enemy only to be captured, tortured, and raped. She was the "little girl Rambo" whose bravery was sung in praises over all the major media networks. And, in an intense firefight, she was rescued by the thinnest of margins by our freckled face kids at the front.
The entire story was a complete fabrication.
According to Lynch, "I am still confused as to why they chose to lie and tried to make me a legend when the real heroics of my fellow soldiers that day were, in fact, legendary." Lynch never fired a shot the day she was captured, she was never tortured or raped, and her "rescue" was more like an orderly transfer from hospital to another which met with no resistance whatsoever.

An even bigger lie is the story of Pat Tillman. Pat was an all star safety for the Arizona Cardinals when the September 11 attacks occurred. He and his brother, Kevin, joined the military to fight in Afghanistan. On April 22, 2004 Pat was killed in what the army described as an intense firefight with the enemy. This was a lie.
Pat was actually killed by friendly fire under circumstances that are still a mystery. Spc. Bryan O'Neal, the last man to see Tillman alive, says he was ordered by the Pentagon (Donald Rumsfeld) not to divulge how Pat died. Pat's body armour was burned so there would be no evidence that he was killed by friendly fire. According to his brother, Kevin and his mother, Mary, they believed the cover up occurred because the army wanted to deflect attention away from the Abu Gharib prison scandal. They needed a hero and they propped up Tillman as their poster boy for the War on Terror.
But was Pat really the hero they wanted? I mean, c'mon, the guy was extremely well read, supported John Kerry and urged others to do so, was friendly with Noam Chomsky, and (gasp!) was an atheist...clearly not someone who could be easily brainwashed. When questioned by the Tillman family in regards to Pat's death, Lt. Col. Ralph Kauzlarich, Tillman's cross commander in Afghanistan (in a show of tremendous Christian empathy) told Mary Tillman that Pat "got what he deserved." He suggested that the reason they’d found no closure was that infidels such as themselves (the Tillmans do not belong to a church), when they die, are only “worm dirt.” Apparently Tillman told his fellow soldiers in Afghanistan that Iraq was "fucking illegal war" that was distracting America from the real enemy, Al Qaeda.
So....how did Pat really die? Was it accidental or did some of his fellow troops, their brains short-circuiting from not being able to process the truth, shoot Pat in a rage of jingoistic fervor? Nah, that couldn't be possible. I mean, c'mon, people aren't that far gone around the bend to believe everything that Bush Co spews at them, right? RIGHT? Well, actually, they are.

Last Monday, President George W Bush, in between his tribal dance lesson and sticking pins in his Harry Reid doll, received a purple heart. How did our commander in chief receive an award which is reserved for troops who are wounded in combat? Bill Thomas, a decorated Vietnam vet from Copperas Cove, Texas, came up with idea of presenting President Bush with HIS purple heart to the president because he felt that Bush had endured "unprecedented verbal attacks, both foreign and domestic, during his time in office. We felt like emotional wounds and scars are as hard to carry as physical wounds," Thomas said.
"I just threw up in my mouth," Markadelphia said as he heard this story of unfathomable zombiesm. As one of my co-workers, also decorated with a Purple Heart from Vietnam, told me when I relayed this story to him, "That a man who made that sacrifice for our country can be so deluded as to give his Purple Heart (like it was a used car) to rich man's son whose daddy got him out of action (or could even bring it upon himself to serve with his Texas unit) is obscene beyond words."
More obscene is the fact that there are still around 90 million people (29 percent) in this country that believe that we are fighting for freedom in Iraq in order to protect ourselves from future terrorist attacks and that oil has got nothing to do with it. These same 90 million people also believe that Jesus Christ is coming back this year, we are in the final days, and if we don't do exactly what they tell us to do, all of us will be "left behind." So, as I kick off my presidential profiles series, ask yourselves this question:
Isn't it time to stop letting the loonies run the asylum?
Tuesday: John McCain.