The Gap

Take a look at this graphic to the left. I pulled this from a Christian Science Monitor article which was reporting on our new Treasury Secretary, Henry Paulson. In his first major speech last year, he declared what most of us already know to be true: the poor and middle class of our country are getting screwed while the nation's elite are prospering.

"Amid this country's strong economic expansion, many Americans simply aren't feeling the benefits," Paulson said during his first major speech as Treasury secretary, at Columbia University's business school in New York on Monday. "Their increases in wages are being eaten up by high energy prices and rising health care costs, among others."

And the median wage hasn't really gone up at all. Between 2001 and 2004, the median income of Americans with college degrees rose from $72,300 to $73,000 (after adjusting for inflation), according to a Federal Reserve survey of consumer finances.

So, what does the graph mean? Well, even though we are a wealthy nation, we rank below all these other countries in the fair distribution of that wealth. I don't know about you but....Denmark? Fucking Denmark? Good Lord.

Tim Gets The Sack

It's been awhile. Time to haul out the Shitsack.

A couple of weeks ago, my old pal Merrill, staunch neocon who works out at the same gym I do, cornered me by the elipticals. "Hey, Mark. You liberals are trying to raise my taxes again. What gives? It's just sour grapes because Governor Pawlenty did something they could never do: balance the budget without raising taxes," she decried with the usual conservative fervor.

Not being too well versed on economics, I just nodded and listened as she droned on about how poor people, schools, and the elderly are stealing money from ordinary citizens like herself. This wasn't the first time I have heard a conservative trumpet the fact that our governor turned a 4.5 billion dollar deficit into a surplus. I think this is one of the few things neocons have left, which, incidentally, can be found on page 29 of the Conservative Talking Points Manual. Knowing neocon's "facts" the way I do, I decided to take a look into the current budget battle and see if I could make sense of it all.

First of all, Governor Pawlenty is completely full of shit when he says that he balanced the budget through spending cuts. They didn't even make a dent. What did make a dent is the $1 billion dollar increase in state licenses and fees as well as the $1.4 billion dollars in property tax increases (that's $866 per household) since T-Paw took office. How the spending did make a dent was in the level of service the state offers. Schools are in financial disarray, the roads have gone to hell, and cities have been laying off policemen and firemen left and right.

Second, the current budget battle is not over raising taxes. It's about returning the tax percentages to what they were before the poster child for rich people welfare took office. According to the Minnesota Revenue Service, households earning between $45,000 and $105,000 pay 12.3 percent in state and local taxes, while households earning above $105,000 pay 10.9 percent. The very wealthiest Minnesotans, who earn above $355,000, pay 9 percent.

Are you fucking kidding me?

I am paying a third more, percentage wise, in taxes than someone making three times as much money as our family does? And people are defending this? What cracks me up about fiscal conservatives is the don't just tell the simple truth. It's not that they distrust governments spending habits. It's that rich people want to keep their grubby hands on their sweaty money. They are greedy. Pick up any history book about any country and you will see the same story. People who have wealth essentially steal money from the people who don't to maintain their power and control over them. The fact that we think America is somehow "different" and is a magical place filled with freedom shows how wonderully vain and shortsighted we truly are.

Anyway, the plans that are currently being proposed in the Democratic controlled state congress return the percentages back to what they were five years ago. And it wants to add higher taxes to gas, liquor and cigarette purchases. Gee, what a shock that ol T-Paw would be against this as well....y'know, cutting into the purse of the gas, alcohol, and tobacco lobby which pretty much owns conservatives across the country including him.

So, Tim, my old friend, I have been too busy of late trying to spread the word about the dangerous psychotics in DC destroying my children's future. Up until now, you have slipped under the radar but now? Now, I am going to be up your ass with a tweezer when you start flapping your gums about taxes and liberals because you are a liar. Your only mission in life is to make sure that the wealthy of this state continue to bleed poor people dry.

And, thus, you get the Shitsack.

Worth 1000 Words

Take a look at this picture taken by Stephen Crowley of the New York Times. In the foreground is President Bush giving a speech yesterday at the White House. The figure to the left is Vice President Cheney.

Aside from the obvious hunting jokes ("Look Out! He has a gun!" or "Oh great, another shooter on the the grassy knoll..."), doesn't this image sum up the entire Bush presidency?

Bush, the figurehead, with Cheney hiding in the bushes, the one really pulling the strings?

Priceless.

I See Dead People

This week, I thought a break from politics was in order. There is so much going on in Washington DC that I think I have hit overload. So, I thought I would focus on a problem that has been chawing on my ass for...well...let's see...for all of the 22 years I have lived here in the beautiful state of Minnesota

Over the last couple of years, I have taken several trips to Chicago. I enjoy dropping my kids off at my mom's and having a nice weekend alone with my wife, who used to live in Chicago and loves visiting her old hometown. In addition, one of my best friends moved there in 2005 and I like to go visit her on occasion. To the left is a picture of her and me at a reggae club on Clark, a couple of blocks away from Wrigley Field. Isn't she cute?

Anyway, most of you who know me know that I am a social animal of the highest order. Given a choice, the most fun I can possibly have (sans kids) involves bullshiting with my friends at a pub or seeing a band play live. In other words, I like going out on the town, man....hitting and sticking my way through the rapture that is the club scene. The smell of Vodka red bulls, cigarettes (when they aren't banned), sweat, love, and loud music is a mega tonic for me and I really NEED to immerse myself in the pool of bar sensuality at least 3 or 4 times a month to remain sane.

Therefore you can only imagine how someone, like myself, who enjoys these things feels about a city like Chicago. Basically, it's like a steak lover devouring a Silver Butter Knife at Murray's. Chicago is the Big Mother Fuckin' Daddy of the bar and club scene. Every trip I have taken there over the last few years (on average three times a year) has been nothing short of spectacular and a large part of that is due to the night life there and the wonderfully friendly people. So, it comes with great disappointment and sadness that I must inform all of you that live in Minneapolis:

Our city is fucking lame.

Actually, lame is not harsh enough. The bar/club scene in Minneapolis is terribly appalling, terrifically tedious, and just outright awful. Why?

The people who live here are fucking lame.

Actually lame is not harsh enough. I hope I don't make too many enemies here but, citizens of the seven county Metro area, you bore me to tears. You have no energy, nothing interesting to talk about except your fucking cabin and golf. You are getting fatter by the day from sitting in front of the television watching NASCAR and eating Cheetos. The dumb ass little cliques that you all cling needfully to are sub human. In other words, you NEVER GO OUT!! What is the matter with all of you?

I think you need me to illustrate the difference between going out in Minneapolis and Chicago. It is my sincere hope that you will then understand my frustration.

Minneapolis

Mark calls up several of his friends for a night out on the town. None of them call him back because they are dicks. Mark then elects to go to a bar by himself. The first bar he goes into has three guys in fucking baseball caps talking about their lawn mowers. One guy discusses the lamentable chore of mowing both his lawn here in town and his lawn at the cabin. Super! An attempt to engage them in a conversation elicits a series of grunts and crooked looks from the three men. One of them then says to Mark, "You talk like a fag." Mark leaves.

He then goes into another bar which has no guys present at all but does have a couple of groups of girls in them. He tries to engage each of them in conversation only to have most of them bring up, rather quickly, the fact that they have boyfriends . Others look at him like he just shit his pants and the stink is wafting around him.

Finally, he tries a bar with a band playing. The room is large and could probably handle 300 people. Mark sees four people there, probably friends of the band, dancing in the empty darkness.

It is 10pm on a Friday night.

Chicago

Mark calls up his friends in Chicago. All of them call him back and either agree to join him or say they have other plans. Mark stops at one of the eight thousand bars on Clark to have a quiet beer by himself before meeting with his friends. He sits at the bar. A basketball game is on TV and the other guys at the bar engage Mark in a hoops related conversation. I learn their names and hear about their lives. They play 16 inch softball in Grant Park. They work at various jobs around town, all of which are interesting, and have girlfriends except Chad who has a boyfriend.

Throughout the course of his stay at this bar, women come up to him. They ask him his name, inquire about his marital status, bullshit about bands, love, orgasms and life. Mark says his goodbyes and meets his friends at another bar on Clark. More drinking, laughing, goofing around, ass grabbing, and meeting new people are had at this bar. Everyone is outgoing and extremely friendly. We then go to another club to see a band where we pick up more people. They are all interested in what I have to say. I am interested in their stories.

It is 10pm on a Friday night.

Now can you see the difference?

People of Minneapolis (speaking specifically to the guys here): Put down your video game controller, go out to a bar and cut loose with your pals. Talk about life, sports, music...actually have a conversation with someone. Going out to a bar with your laptop and mulling over fantasy football picks is not what I am talking about. Do you have to go to your cabin every weekend? There is a whole city out there to enjoy, people to meet, and a culture to suck. Do you really want to spend your time in a fucking golf cart with man tits bouncing around through your stupid looking polo shirt?

And ladies, don't think you are immune to criticism either. I would humbly suggest to you that when you do go out to a bar or a club, please remove the giant pole that you have up your ass and separate yourself from your herd. I realize that our culture here in the Northwoods frowns upon people being friendly to one another but, good God, woman! The unhappiness you feel in your life can be directly traced to the fact that you don't take any risks and maybe...say...starting a conversation with a cool looking dude at a club might make you enjoy life a little more. Better yet, open up your little sewing circle and let some more chicks in. Check that catty bullshit at the door...life is too short.

I say all of these things out of tough love because, in the end, I really do love all of you but you are really letting me down. It's so obvious to me that most of your unhappiness stems from the fact that you have filled your life with meaningless bullcrap that takes you away from the social contact you need as a human being. You have so much potential to be much happier people than you are but you are squandering it by refusing to cut loose once a week and kick out the jams. Stop being so fucking insular and realize that your experience on this planet is a human one and there are scores of people out there waiting to help you revel in it. There are scores of empty places in our fair city that are willing and anxiously waiting for you to decorate their establishments with the wonder that is you.

They are called bars. They are called clubs. And people go there to have fun.

So, enough with the staying-at-home-non-phone call-returning-when-I-call-you-up-to-go-out-bullshit! I know you have it in you. Get out, talk loud, and be proud.

And let me know where you will be at so we can hook up later.

If I Were A Traitor

It seems that yours truly has had his patriotism questioned recently. This has happened in the past and I have always thought of the Mark Twain quote which Bill Maher uses in the above speech.

"Patriots support their country all time and their government when it deserves it,"

It's funny that this has come up because I was all set to write a column about the ever growing list of laws that Bush Co has broken and why they aren't considered traitors.

Oh, well. Bill beat me to it, as usual. Don't forget to check out the video below from Congressmen Patrick Murphy as well.

If I Were A Congressmen...

...I would want to be just like this guy. Representative Patrick J. Murphy (D-PA) gave this speech on Friday March 23, 2007 that will be remembered as the beginning of the end of the delusion we have suffered in for the last four years in Iraq.

Oh, and for you neocons that might entertain the notion that Mr Murphy has no clue what it's "really like in Iraq"...sorry to burst your ever shrinking bubble of misguided patriotism but Representative Murphy served two deployments after 9/11 - the first to Bosnia in 2002 and the second to Baghdad, Iraq in 2003-2004 as a paratrooper with the 82nd Airborne Division. In Iraq, Captain Murphy advised on offensive operations, initiated reconstruction efforts within the justice system, trained the new Iraqi Civil Defense Corps on the rules of engagement and was instrumental in the prosecution of Sheik Moyad, a radical lieutenant of Muqtada Sadr. For his service, Patrick earned the Bronze Star and his unit earned the Presidential Unit Citation.

Huh. Maybe Democrats do know a thing or two about the defense of this nation.

And what it means to truly be a patriot.

UN Secretary General Speaks in Iraq

Check this out on You Tube. Wow. I guess the troop surge is really working. If the media could only report the good news...sigh.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RZ2KWqsTJ-4

Orewell That Ends Well

Bill Maher has been on a roll lately. This commentary dovetails nicely with my post this week. We have lost so much...if only more people could see really see it.

Profiles In Courage Volume 8: A Voice of Reason

Four years ago today, our country embarked on what will be remembered as the biggest failing in our history. In an effort to "take the fight to Al Qaeda," President Bush invaded Iraq on March 19, 2003. Since that day, I have written many words on here about why Iraq has been a colossal blunder. I went from supporting the war in the beginning to seeing unconscionable actions by this administration result in disaster. I have listened to lie after lie about how we are "doing" in Iraq and tried to understand the people who still support this war.

A few weeks ago I started working on an anniversary piece on the Iraq invasion. After a few paragraphs, I realized that I was repeating myself and should probably come up with something else. On the evening of March 10 I sat down to watch one of my favorite programs, Real Time with Bill Maher, and the first guest said something which made me fall out of my chair. I was shocked for three reasons. First, he was a general. Second, he said something I didn't think it was possible for a general to say, which was:

"We've got this thing that so many military believe that Republican administrations are good for the military. That is rarely the case. And, we have to get a message through to every soldier, every family member, every friend of soldiers that the Republican party, the Republican dominated Congress has absolutely been the worst thing that's happened to the United States Army and the United States Marine Corps."

and third, he was the man who by many is considered to be the father of the Iraq Army. So I decided I would tell his story and let the General, who knows Iraq very well, comment on where we are at with "things" in Iraq four years later.

Major General Paul D. Eaton was born in Weatherford, OK and has served in the United States military for 32 years. Throughout his career he has received the following medals: Distinguished Service Medal, Defense Superior Service Medal, Legion of Merit (with 3 Oak Leaf Clusters), Meritorious Service Medal (with 2 Oak Leaf Clusters), Army Commendation Medal (with 2 Oak Leaf Clusters) and the Army Achievement Medal just to name a few. In June of 2003, General Eaton took over as Commanding General, Coalition Military Assistance Training Team, Baghdad, Iraq which essentially means he was tasked to build the Iraqi Army. In less than a year, he built an infrastructure out of nothing creating an army of a 27-battalion, nine-brigade, three-division army and air force, navy, coastal defense force, civil defense corps, police service, facilities protection service, border police force, customs police force, immigration police force, national security police force and a diplomatic protection service officers force.

Some would argue that General Eaton failed in his task when he ended his tour of duty in June of 2004. Violence in Iraq has spiraled out of control and the country is currently engaged in a civil war. I say he was handed a bag of shit from Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld and told to turn it into a steak dinner for 27 million people, a highly improbable task. In the end, he did the best he could possibly do.

When he retired from service in 2005, General Eaton became one of the first voices in what eventually became a chorus of military personnel who began to speak out about how poorly this war has been managed. In recent editorials, Eaton has said that the Iraq War can't be won militarily and there must be a "diplomatic surge" to secure peace. Naturally, he was criticized for being a "traitor" and a "pawn of the left." I find this to be odd as all the information about Paul Eaton that I got was from official military web sites which unanimously sung his praises and service.

On March 10, 2007, the stunning condemnation that General Eaton delivered on Real Time, which can be seen on video and in its entirety at the conclusion of this column, gave me hope that people of good faith, service, and reason can finally start speaking truth to power. For all the polls that say that most people are against this war, we still have just enough people that support it to keep it going. Everyone needs to realize that President Bush, Dick Cheney, and their mindless sychophants have NOT been fighting the "War on Terror." They have used 9-11 to systematically take away most of our civil liberties, destroy the constitutional balance of power, and waste countless American and Iraqi lives while spending billions of dollars, most of which went to their own friends in the corporate world. The disgust that I feel for these disgraceful people whom we call our "leaders" is unfathmable; they are an embarassment of biblical proportions and my children will have to endure the irrevocable harm that they have inflicted on our great nation.

Are there any more Paul Eatons out there in the world? Raise your voices, proud men and women, and tell your stories.

General Paul D. Eaton on Bill Maher

Great Bunch A Guys

It's been awhile since I have written about the firearm lobby. You know the fellas I am talking about....the ones who wish they could do what I do at least three times a week...if they could only get it up without a gun.

Last Sunday I read Dennis Anderson's weekly column in the Star and Tribune and saw what is perhaps the finest example of the pure psychotic paranoia of these dickheads. Jim Zumbo, an avid outdoors man, columnist, and popular host on the Outdoor Channel, has been ex-communicated from the cabal of gun boys. It all started on February 19th when he wrote:

I must be living in a vacuum. The guides on our hunt tell me that the use of AR and AK rifles have a rapidly growing following among hunters, especially prairie dog hunters. I had no clue. Only once in my life have I ever seen anyone using one of these firearms. I call them "assault" rifles, which may upset some people. Excuse me, maybe I'm a traditionalist, but I see no place for these weapons among our hunting fraternity. I'll go so far as to call them "terrorist" rifles. They tell me that some companies are producing assault rifles that are "tack drivers."

Sorry, folks, in my humble opinion, these things have no place in hunting. We don't need to be lumped into the group of people who terrorize the world with them, which is an obvious concern. I've always been comfortable with the statement that hunters don't use assault rifles. We've always been proud of our "sporting firearms." This really has me concerned. As hunters, we don't need the image of walking around the woods carrying one of these weapons. To most of the public, an assault rifle is a terrifying thing. Let's divorce ourselves from them. I say game departments should ban them from the prairies and woods.

Within 36 hours of this post on his blog, Zumbo was fired as spokesman for Remington, fired as Outdoor Channel employee, fired by Outdoor Life magazine for which he worked for over 40 years, and his blog removed from the Outdoor Life website.

Dennis Anderson, our very own outdoor columnist and avid hunter had this to say:

What's going on here? Can't a person -- particularly someone who has long supported anything and everything to do with the "outdoors" (including conservation) -- express an opinion without losing a career?

The answer is no, Dennis, a person can't. The reason for this is that the people who run the gun lobby are a group of mentally ill Nazis who are so insecure about anyone expressing an opinion that wavers even slightly from canon that any small step out of line is meet with extreme punishment. This is how they have always been and will always operate. It's how pretty much all conservatives seem to operate these days. None of this comes as a shock to me at all. Hell, I am surprised that didn't just shoot Jim Zumbo in the head with an AR or AK rifle.

Zumbo's biggest mistake was not dissing the rifles themselves but warning hunters of becoming just like terrorists. Huh. Imagine that. Wasn't it yours truly who has been called "nuts" and "paranoid" and "a traitor" by several neocons who post on this blog for saying the exact same thing? And now, here we have a member of an atypical conservative group stating what is very plainly the truth and look at what happened to him. Tell me again that I am nuts. Speak to me again about how my opinions about conservatives are inaccurate. Please explain to me how I am the irrational one, in the face of this complete bullshit, and am only presenting part of the truth.

His comments obviously struck a chord in nuttersville and, in the end, truly illustrate a mindset that is extremely dangerous. On almost every conservative issue, there is no wavering. That is a sign of weakness. No matter how awful the results of any action, conservatives must stay the course, not give in, and not allow any dissent. Iraq is an example of this. Our current "fuck you, we're better" approach to international relations is an example of this. Health Care, Education, the Environment, Homeland Security....have only one way to be handled and that's the "Right" way.

And we all better fall in line otherwise we'll end up like Jim Zumbo.

The Numbers Are In!

Thanks to one of my intrepid readers I have some wonderful statistics to share with all of you. On March 2nd, the three major news networks coverage of Anna Nicole Smith and the Walter Reed Scandal were totalled.

CNN made 40 references to Anna Nicole Smith and 53 to the Walter Reed Scandal. MSNBC made 96 references to Anna Nicole Smith and 84 to the Walter Reed Scandal.

and Fox News....my oh my.....121 references to Anna Nicole Smith and 10 to the Walter Reed Scandal. Bwaa Haa Haa. Are you fucking kidding me?

Someone who thinks that Fox News is a real news channel please post in comments. C'mon, I double dog dare ya!!

How the Republican Media is trying to bury Walter Reed Story

Really? Nah...the couldn't, could they?

How many Anna Nicole Smith videos and how many Walter Reed videos?

Yeah, talk to me some more about the "liberal" media....

Support Our Tr..oo.....um....wait a minute...

On February 15, 2004 John Kerry said the following at a primary debate:

"President Bush cut the VA (Veterans Administration) budget and is not kept faith with veterans across this country. And one of the first definitions of patriotism is keeping faith with those who wore the uniform of our country.”

He was laughed at by every neocon from here to Timbuktu because, as I'm sure you are all aware, Democrats don't care about the troops. Why would anything a traitor like John Kerry says be true anyway?

On March 19, 2005 President Bush cut $350 million dollars from the federal budget for veterans, specifically in the area of home funding which amounts to about 5000 medical beds for our troops. The Governor of Pennsylvania, Ed Rendell, a Democrat, said this was unconscionable. Neocons accused Governor Rendell of being a traitor and not supporting the troops by criticizing the president.

On February 13, 2007 President Bush again proposed cutting part of the budget for veterans starting in 2009 and continuing through 2010 in the hopes of balancing the budget by 2012. Democrats again raised concerns about how our troops are our greatest treasure and the sacrifices they make should be repaid in kind. I remember asking a neocon friend of mine at a party about how he, as a veteran, felt about the cuts. He told me that Democrats lie about everything, no one cares more about the troops than Republicans, and it was his job, as a soldier, to kill any Democrat that came into his gun sight.

In the last two weeks, most of the major media began running stories about conditions at Walter Reed hospital. Pictures and video showed black mold in the bathrooms, mouse droppings on the floors everywhere, and holes in just about every wall in the place. Soldiers, heretofore afraid to speak out, began telling stories of the rotten medical care they have received since serving in Iraq and Afghanistan. Other military hospitals around the country have now been called to the mat, as several soldiers have cited similar conditions. Maj. Gen. George Weightman, who oversaw Walter Reed, was fired immediately. Last week, Army Secretary Francis J. Harvey also resigned in what many have finally come to see as the most appalling fuck up of Bush Co's tenure in the White House.

Yes, that's right. You heard me correctly. This is Bush Co's fault. They decided we should go into Iraq and quite obviously didn't plan for how taxed the veteran's health care system would be. In fact, they made matters worse but cutting funding for programs that were already underfunded and thus, people like Cpl. Wendell McLeod were treated like animals. "This is how we treat our soldiers -- we give them nothing," Annette McLeod, wife of Cpl. McLeod said. "They're good enough to go and sacrifice their life, and we give them nothing."

Ms. McLeod is one many voices of veteran's families that I hope can be heard. These are the people that the right wing media ignore, spewing more of their lies and hate about how Democrats "don't support the troops." Neocons inability to look at these stories boggles my mind and is, in the end I guess, completely expected by a group of people who regularly accuse liberals as being out of touch with reality while they are, in fact, living life at fucking Disneyland.

The policies of George W Bush have been idiotic, incompetent, and utterly unkind which, quite honestly, I think is being polite. For him to stand up in front of the public and say he cares about the troops has now been categorically proven to be one of the greatest lies in the history of our country. The pictures and videos I have seen are nauseating, to the say the least, and I was so far beyond appalled by this it was hard for me to know where to begin. So I started with the man who might have been president whose words from three years ago ended up being exactly true.

I wonder what else he was right about?

Ah, Hunter...

A reader sent me this quote over email yesterday. I miss Hunter S. Thompson...his acerbic wit, his assholeishness, his complete command the English language, and his honesty. This was written shortly before his death in 2005.

"We have become a Nazi monster in the eyes of the whole world -- a nation of bullies and bastards who would rather kill than live peacefully. We are not just Whores for power and oil, but killer whores with hate and fear in our hearts. We are human scum, and that is how history will judge us. No redeeming social value. Just whores. Get out of our way, or we'll kill you. Well, shit on that dumbness, George W. Bush does not speak for me or my son or my mother or my friends or the people I respect in this world. We didn't vote for these cheap, greedy little killers who speak for America today -- and we will not vote for them again in 2002. Or 2004. Or ever. Who does vote for these dishonest shitheads? Who among us can be happy and proud of having all this innocent blood on our hands? Who are these swine? These flag-sucking half-wits who get fleeced and fooled by stupid rich kids like George Bush? They are the same ones who wanted to have Muhammad Ali locked up for refusing to kill gooks. They speak for all that is cruel and stupid and vicious in the American character. They are the racists and hate mongers among us -- they are the Ku Klux Klan. I piss down the throats of these Nazis. And I am too old to worry about whether they like it or not. Fuck them."

Special Comment

One of my regular readers sent this to me and I thought it was pretty accurate. Enjoy!

Aargh!!!

Alright, I can't take it anymore. And I am tired of being nice. The last few days have made me unbearably ashamed of our country....aggravating me to the point of nuclear acid reflex syndrome. So I must vent!

First up is Army Chief of Staff General Peter Schoomaker who, at a speech last Friday, was asked about where the Army was in finding Osama bin Laden. The response of the highest ranking officer in the Army? "I don't know whether we'll find him," he said in a speech to the Rotary Club of Fort Worth. "I don't know that it's all that important, frankly."

Great. That's just fucking great. I don't want to hear one more word from ANY conservatives about how the Democrats are weak on terror. You want to gripe about something? Start with this guy. And after that why don't you move on to President Bush and Drunken Shooter, who were both quoted over the weekend as saying that the United States will never bomb KNOWN Al Qaeda bases in Pakistan because they are our allies.

Hey, George and Dickhead, why don't you fly over there, help them put on their jammies, and give them a good night kiss...making sure they are comfortable, of course! Osama bin Laden is responsible for the 9-11 attacks. He is our nation's biggest threat. He is Number One on the FBI's most wanted list and the Army thinks he doesn't matter anymore? And Shooter wants to rely on Pakistan to help "root out Al Qaeda?" Right. Like that is going to happen. And somehow this is all OK ? Something is very, very wrong here people. The words coming out of these people's mouths....something stinks to high heaven and I smells me a rat.

Helping matters immensely as always, is our own resident moron, Michele Bachmann (R-MN, 6th District) who has been going around saying that she knows of a "secret Iranian plan" to partition Iraq into three parts and create a terrorist safe haven. "Half of Iraq, the Western and Northern Portion of Iraq, is going to be called the Iraq State of Islam, something like that. And I'm sorry, I don't have the official name, but it's meant to be the training grounds for terrorists, " she was quoted as saying.

Um...what the fuck are you talking about Michele? First of all, Iran supports the US backed government because it is a Shiite led body. Second, the Northern part of Iraq is run by the Kurds, peacefully I might add, and have no love loss for Iran. In fact, they have been and are our strongest ally in the country. Third, most of the violence in Iraq is being carried out by Sunni extremists, who loathe Iran and have NOTHING WHATSOEVER TO DO WITH AL QAEDA (aka the people who actually attacked us on 9-11).

None of what she is saying makes any sense to me but in this day and age of conservatives making up a bunch of shit based on their paranoid delusions, lying about it, and then playing into people's ignorant fears to gain votes, maybe by this time next week, the Bachman View on Iran will be gospel (pun fully intended).

For those of you who live in the Sixth District of Minnesota, your representative has taken leave of her senses and needs to be removed from office immediately. Please demand a recall vote and find someone who a). knows what they are talking about and b). is not completely full of shit. For more on this nausea, click here.

Thank goodness, though that we have the media, who can always be relied upon to report only the most important issues of the day. CNN, MSNBC, and Fox News are all bastions of democratic discourse and continually further our own intellectual.....wait, sorry, I have to stop typing because now I am the one that is completely full of shit.

For the last week, all three of the major news networks have been wall to wall Anna Nicole Smith and Brittany fucking Spears. This is news? Arguments over the body of dead woman? A spoiled bitch shaving her head is the lead story? Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, our own Star and Tribune ran a story about how Anna Nicole Smith "really wanted to be friends with Brittany." Really? (Giggle....) That's just so way cool important!!!

I am sooooo happy (photo above fully conveys my message to all three networks) to see that we are right back where we were on September 10, 2001 when the most important news of the day were people being attacked by sharks. Do you want to know why Al Qaeda managed to attack us so easily? It's because of bullshit idiocy like all of the above.

Imagine being a family member of someone who died in the 9-11 attacks. You are now being told by your government that the person responsible for the attacks isn't that important. You have a member of Congress who was the emotional maturity of a thirteen year old girl and likes to make up stuff! Your media has completely and utterly failed you in being the public purveyor of important information.

How do you feel?

The Funnies

I think I have put just about every typical section of a newspaper up here over the years: news, sports, entertainment, and opinion (obviously). Saving the weather for another time, I thought I would share a comic that I saw the other day in the City Pages. If you can't read it, click on the picture and it take you to page where can view it in a larger size

It has been two days since I saw it and I am still laughing about it.

Oooo, tough guy!

There has been a lot of talk in the latest thread about how Democrats are "weak" and Republicans are "tough" so I thought I would share this video with all of you.

This was a press conference six months after 9-11. If Al Gore were president and said these things, neocons would've called for his head. Instead, since George Bush can do no wrong, he gets a free pass. Oh, and Mr. President, the host country that you talk about here...hmm...Taliban resurgence, Al Qaeda camps rebuilt...

You're doing a heckuva job, Brownie!

Bringin' Out The Sack

Two posts from me today. Kinda different, I know, but after hearing Australian Prime Minister John Howard (left) run his mouth recently, I had to put something up about it.

He was quoted as saying, "Terrorists are praying for a Democrat to win in 2008." Why? If you follow this line of logic, it is because Democrats are "weak" and the terrorists will be able to attack our country again. Once the Democrats are in power again, terrorists will be able to run rampant, killing people left and right in the Middle East and around the world.

I think Prime Minister Howard and whoever in the Bush administration is paying him off need to be reminded of a few facts.

1. The worst terrorist attack in our country's history occurred under a Republican president.

2. The last time I checked Al Qaeda has been rebuilding much of its operation in Afghanistan and terrorists are carrying out attacks on a daily basis in Iraq, Lebanon, Gaza, The West Bank, India, Pakistan, Indonesia (am I starting to bore all of you yet?....I could go on...)

3. All of the major candidates for the Democratic nomination have been on record as saying that troops need to be re-deployed to fight the people who actually attacked us on 9-11.

4. The Democrats, not the Republicans, were the ones who have been fighting tooth and nail to enact the recommendations of the 9-11 commission.

So, Johnny, congratulations. You are the recipient of this week's Shitsack!

Enjoy!