Not Fake

62-Year-Old With Gun Only One Standing Between Nation And Full-Scale Government Takeover

Bailey, who keeps his gun on his person at all times and regularly patrols his property in his truck, has reportedly struck dread into the very highest-ranking members of the U.S. government. According to sources, top government and military officials are fully aware that they remain unable to commence with their oppressive, systematic subjugation of the American populace as long as the 62-year-old owner of a rifle exists. 

I guess The Onion stopped running fake news stories...