Presidential Profiles #6: Dennis Kucinich

In October of 1962, President Kennedy faced the biggest crisis of his presidency. The Soviet Union had moved medium range nuclear missiles into Cuba, less than 90 miles away from Florida.

In order to get as broad a perspective on the situation, President Kennedy called in a wide variety of experts on the Soviet Union. Bobby Kennedy, Attorney General, pushed hard for the ultra conservative, Dean Acheson to be in the room at all of the briefings.

The president wanted Adlai Stevenson. Stevenson was known at the time as the doviest of doves, an appeaser that would've made Chamberlain look tough. As they were debating how to confront the Soviets, air strike or blockade, Stevenson suggested they make a deal with the Russians: they remove their missiles in Cuba, the United States would remove it's missiles in Turkey. The idea was extremely weak, ill conceived, and terribly wrong given the provocation on the part of the Soviets.

Ultimately, President Kennedy went for the blockade and it worked. He remarked later in the year that he was actually quite grateful that Stevenson brought up the idea because "all of us need to be reminded that, at the end of the day, we are all human." In the year 2007, Dennis Kucinich has reminded us all that we are human.

Look at this guy. He just looks like a drip. Actually, he looks a goofy cartoon character. There's no way in heck that he is EVER going to get the nomination. And yet...I can't help but think, as my hero did, that we need to hear that voice.

The voice that wants to replace our forces in Iraq with an international peacekeeping force. The voice that wants to really reach out to moderate voices in the Middle East. The voice who wants us to formally apologize to the Iraqi people for all of the death and destruction of which we are partly responsible . The voice that wants to create a cabinet-level Department of Peace.

His unwavering idealism is equalled only by the fact that he makes decisions based on his own principles, not politics. You won't catch Dennis Kucinich putting on an orange camo jacket and going out into the woods to kill something just so he can get votes. His hope for a better place is something that we should all strive for, not something that should draw laughter and accusations of weakness. In all honesty, Dennis Kucinich is probably the candidate who most adheres to the true principles of Jesus Christ. It is for this reason, Dennis Kucinich gets a B.

I wish I could be more like him. All of us should be. I wish I didn't see the world in the jaded way that I do. Having first hand experience with Islamic extremism taught me a long time ago that they are simply too dangerous to treat with so much idealism. But like President Kennedy said, we need to hear that voice. It keeps us measured. It keeps us honest. In the final analysis, it is what makes us American.

Thursday: Mike Huckabee

Presidential Profiles #5: Mitt Romney

Mitt Romney is one strange cat. For starters, there's his name. Could we really live with a president named Mitt? Mitt is actually his middle name. When you hear what his first name is you'll know why he prefers to go by his middle name.

His first name is Willard.

Then there's the whole abortion thing. He was against abortion then he was for it when a relative died of an illegal abortion and now that he is seeking the Republican nomination for President, he is back to being pro-life.

He is for the death penalty, against all forms of equal rights for homosexuals, and his favorite book is Battlefield Earth by L. Ron Hubbard (yikes!). He supports the Bush Doctrine, is against stem cell research, and is a Mormon sans the extra wives.

In many ways, he seems like an ideal candidate for conservatives....but then you get to health care. Romney, as governor of Massachusetts, made it illegal for anyone to be uninsured in regards to health care. His plan called for all employers to immediately insure all of their employees. If an individual was unemployed, they would be able to choose their provider and the state would pay for it. They also would be able to choose whatever doctor they wanted or keep their old one. Since this plan is highly logical, well thought out, is working out great, and helps our everyone equally, conservatives hate it.

And him, because if everyone gets equal treatment, as we all know, that's one step closer to communism. Besides, heaven forbid, that we would start having healthier people who then wouldn't be bilked out of their retirement money by the pharmaceutical industry. Sadly, as far as most conservatives go, this is too black a stain on Romney to fully support him.

So, even though he is really conservative on most things, he gets a C in my eyes, just above Brownback and Biden, for actually doing something about health care and succeeding.

Wednesday: Dennis Kucinich

Who The Heck Are These Guys?

You may have noticed (and will notice in the next couple of weeks) that, in my Presidential Profiles series, I am not covering everyone. If you scroll back and take a look at the last four and then look at the next seven I will be putting up over the course of the next week or so, there are some folks missing. When I decided to run this series, my first rule was that they had to announce, officially, that they were running. They also had to be someone with whom I was familiar. But some people have commented that perhaps I should cover, at least briefly, all of the dogs in the hunt, so to speak.

So I thought we would start off this week with quick takes of those people that are not running but sort of are running and those people who are relatively unknown but running. Without further adieu, here they are:

THE REPUBLICANS (Officially Announced)

Tom Tancredo-hates all illegal immigrants to the point of blowing a bowel every time the topic comes up.

Tommy Thompson-former Secretary of Health and Human Services. Incorrectly identified anthrax attack, Bush lapdog, from Wisconsin (that's an extra strike so four total).

Duncan Hunter-My friend Bob likes him.

Ron Paul-Never, under any circumstances, trust any man with two first names for a name.

Jim Gilmore-I have no idea what to say here. Who?

THE REPUBLICANS (Not officially announced)

Fred Thompson-was great in Die Hard II, although I don't care for him much in Law and Order. Oh wait...his politics. Yeah, how about someone with intellectual curiosity? We have, after all, suffered six plus years without it. Also, dude, decide already. As it stands right now, you are about 30 million dollars and counting in the hole.

Newt Gingrich-(cough...excuse me for a moment...cough cough...) Bwa-hah ha-ha....what did you spend six years bitching about when Clinton was in office? And what did you then do yourself? Fuck off, dickhead.

Chuck Hagel-The best of the bunch. I wish he would get in the race. His stance on Iraq, no nonsense look at big government, and his plain civics would make him an immediate B in my mind. Run, Charlie, Run!!!

THE DEMOCRATS (announced)

Chris Dodd-Uh.....no.

Mike Gravel-Ah, the libertarian of the bunch. And he's weird and from Alaska. There are some things I like about him but does anyone but me even know what he looks like?

THE DEMOCRATS (unannounced)

Al Gore-hey, conservatives, guess what? Al Gore has been trying to make that house (you know the one you have been having embolism after embolism about for the last couple of months because he won an Oscar and since you all suffer from collective short man syndrome and can't stand it when a liberal is ahead of you on something...) of his green but can't due to zoning restrictions in Tennessee. Oh..wait...sorry...what do I think of him as a candidate? Well, he won the presidency once so maybe he could win it again.

Wes Clark-the mother fucking stud of the bunch. Best line ever (to the gun lobby): "Ordinary Americans have no business owning assault rifles. If someone wants to own an assault rifle, then should get themselves a pair of boots and come and see me. I have a job for them." Of everyone here and mostly everyone in my series, I trust him completely to find a solution in Iraq. I am, however, a little iffy on his domestic policies such as health care and education.

So, there you have it. If I have left anyone out, please let me know. As always, I welcome your comments.

Tuesday: Mitt Romney.

Presidential Profiles #4: Sam Brownback

Grading slightly higher than Joe Biden, but still at a C, is Sam Brownback, Republican senator from Kansas. Before the Democrats that read this blog have an embolism because they think I have lost my mind, consider these points. Senator Brownback:

1. was vehemently against President Bush's NSA wiretaps program, citing "big government" interference in the lives of ordinary citizens.

2. is against capital punishment because he finds that it is incongruent with "the culture of life."

3. is against the troop surge in Iraq. He said, "We cannot fight a war with the support of only one political party. And it does mean that the parties in Iraq--Sunni, Shi’a and Kurds--must get to a political agreement, to a political equilibrium."

4. worked with Senator Ted Kennedy (!) to enact stricter border regulations.

5. with Congressman John Lewis to help win placement of the African American Museum on the National Mall in Washington, DC.

6. supports stem cell research.

7. and, last (and most important), visited refugee camps in Sudan in 2004 and returned to write a resolution labeling the Darfur conflict as genocide, and has been active on attempting to increase U.S. efforts to resolve the situation. He is an endorser of the Genocide Intervention Network, which called him a "champion of Darfur" in its Darfur scorecard, primarily for his early advocacy of the Darfur Peace and Accountability Act.

What the??!! Is this man a Democrat in sheep's clothing? No, because he still is pro-life ("Roe vs. Wade was a holocaust"), very against gay marriage, and thinks that Christianity should be taught in every school everywhere.

Yet, Senator Brownback gives me hope that Christian Conservatives, like himself, are beginning to see the hypocrisy of their ways. If you are going to be pro-life, you gotta be pro-life all the way. He is what many are calling the "New Evangelical." He, like Reverend Boyd, talk about the work of Christ being humble, seeking to eliminate poverty and spread the word of God through peaceful means, not the end of a gun barrel.

Sam Brownback may not fall in line with everything I believe in but he is making serious effort in areas that need attention. For that he gets a slightly higher C (I don't want to get into the plus or minus thing) than Joe Biden.

Monday: Presidential Profiles Short Takes (aka why aren't THESE people being profiled?)

Presidential Profiles #3: Joe Biden

A while back, I saw Joe Biden on Real Time with Bill Maher. He told a story about a recent visit to the White House. Senator Biden was meeting with President Bush to discuss Iraq. He asked the president whether it was wise to continue in Iraq and what his strategy was to combat the insurgency. The president told Senator Biden that he felt that it was wise because he "felt it in his gut." His strategy was to stay the course.

The senator than replied, "Mr President, are you suggesting that we keep troops in harm's way based on your gut feeling with no change in strategy?" President Bush paused for a moment and said, "Well, Joe, you know I seek guidance from God quite a bit and after much thoughtful prayer, I knew in my gut that to continue is the right thing to do."

"But what about the intelligence reports? The commanders on the ground? What are they saying?" Biden asked.

"I don't pay too much attention to details, " the president stated.

This exchange, if true, is frightening. It also made me like Joe Biden a little bit more because at least someone was asking some hard questions about Iraq. His foreign relations experience is vast, serving as a long time member and current chair of the Senate Foreign Relations committee. His plan for Iraq calls for "a third way that can achieve the two objectives most Americans share: to bring our troops home without leaving chaos behind. The idea is to maintain a unified Iraq by federalizing it and giving Kurds, Shiites and Sunnis breathing room in their own regions." The key points include:

1. Keep Iraq together by giving its major groups breathing room in their own regions. A central government would be left in charge of common interests like defending the borders and distributing oil revenues.

2. Secure the support of the Sunnis -- who have no oil -- by guaranteeing them a proportionate share of oil revenue.

3. Increase, not end, reconstruction assistance but insist that the oil-rich Arab Gulf states fund it and tie it to the creation of a massive jobs program and to the protection of minority rights.

4. Hold an international conference to enlist the support of Iraq's neighbors and create a Contact Group to enforce regional commitments.

5. Begin the phased redeployment of U.S. forces this year and withdraw most of them by the end of 2007, with a small follow-on force to keep the neighbors honest and to strike any concentration of terrorists.

I like all of this but.....

Joe Biden is also kind of a dick, which is also one of the things that makes him appealing. The bad side to his dickishness comes in the fact that one of his main convictions is his own vanity. I mean, look at the man's hair! He also voted for the war and is now against so my beef with him is the same as Hillary Clinton. At least, though, he has a plan that has some specifics to it, something that Hillary is sorely lacking.

So it is for this reason I give him a C.

Friday: Sam Brownback.

2008 Presidential Profile #2: Hillary Clinton

I think Hillary Clinton is a liar. I don't think she is a liar for the reasons that have been circulating in conservative circles for the last 15 years. In what is probably the greatest example in recorded history of the pot calling the kettle black, conservatives will have you believe that Hillary is responsible for: a) the deaths of hundreds of people who "crossed" her and Bill; b) stealing millions of dollars from taxpayers; and c) every single bad thing that has ever happened to everyone ever.

Most of this is simply not true. It's all part of the usual conservative reframing of reality baloney. What is true about her is that she has spent the last seven years cozying up to several large corporations, especially key defense contractors in New York as well as several red states, and that she supports the Iraq War. She may say she doesn't but believe me, she does. If she is elected president, nothing will change in Iraq.

I wanted to like Hillary, y'know, I really did. The first woman president? We need a goddess in the White House. But Hillary? Nope. She is too far gone around the bend. Her time in Washington has made her cold and calculating--she'd give Dick Vader a run for his money, no doubt. While she and I do share some common interests on domestic issues, it is Iraq that is THE issue. And the Middle East. And defeating terrorism. I think her policies would be a simple continuation of the same crap we have had for the last six years.

The other thing is that if she is elected, our country would remain as divided as we are now. There are still people out there who froth at the mouth when Bill Clinton's name comes up. I would wager there are about 90 million of them in this country. There are still more who are Democrats and just don't like her. So, half of the country would hate her (for all the wrong reasons of course) and we just don't need that right now, whether it is justified or not.

Now I know that some of my liberal friends are going to pissed as hell about this take on Hillary but too bad. At the end of the day, I am finding it a real struggle to see a difference between her and W. Enlighten me, if you will but for now I give her a D.

Thursday: Joe Biden.

2008 Presidential Profile #1: John McCain

I used to like John McCain. Remember the cool mack daddy maverick who bitch-slapped W all over the joint in 2000? God, I miss that guy.

He's gone now and he's been replaced by this man (left), whom we see pictured with President Bush at a recent fundraising event in Arizona. He might look like John McCain, walk like John McCain, and even talk like John McCain but he sounds an awful lot like George W. Bush, especially when he talks about Iraq. To put it simply, Senator McCain has taken leave of his senses when it comes to the topic of the Iraq War. He believes every single thing that comes out of W's mouth about the war and is betting his whole campaign on it. He thinks the surge will work, that the insurgency is in its last throes, and all the Middle East really needs is a forced democracy. Good Lord.....

He also has been seen cozying up to Jerry Falwell, who he used to call a moron. So basically he has been spending his days running to the right which, in all likelihood, will cost him the election because most people (like me) loved him for his independent attitude. He claims that his convictions have been the same all along but we all know it really isn't true. A man who I thought capable of no bullshit has an enormous amount of it spewing forth from his mouth.

It is for that reason that, as a presidential hopeful goes, he gets a D.

Wednesday: Hillary Clinton

Lord, grant me patience

Tomorrow I will be putting my first stub up in my series of profiles on the 2008 Presidential Candidates. I will be ranking them each with a letter grade, starting with the worst candidate and ending with the best one. I have to admit that all of them, Republican and Democrat alike, are a full letter grade or more above President Bush, who stands at a F. So, regardless of who wins, our long national nightmare will finally be over.

And you know what? It really can't come too soon. I didn't think it was possible to be MORE nauseated by Bush Co and their chin-high level of bullshit but last week drove me even further over the edge. Last Tuesday the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform heard testimony from Jessica Lynch and Kevin Tillman. Remember Jessica Lynch? She was the young, Brittney Spears type who fought off the evil hoards of the enemy only to be captured, tortured, and raped. She was the "little girl Rambo" whose bravery was sung in praises over all the major media networks. And, in an intense firefight, she was rescued by the thinnest of margins by our freckled face kids at the front.

The entire story was a complete fabrication.

According to Lynch, "I am still confused as to why they chose to lie and tried to make me a legend when the real heroics of my fellow soldiers that day were, in fact, legendary." Lynch never fired a shot the day she was captured, she was never tortured or raped, and her "rescue" was more like an orderly transfer from hospital to another which met with no resistance whatsoever.

An even bigger lie is the story of Pat Tillman. Pat was an all star safety for the Arizona Cardinals when the September 11 attacks occurred. He and his brother, Kevin, joined the military to fight in Afghanistan. On April 22, 2004 Pat was killed in what the army described as an intense firefight with the enemy. This was a lie.

Pat was actually killed by friendly fire under circumstances that are still a mystery. Spc. Bryan O'Neal, the last man to see Tillman alive, says he was ordered by the Pentagon (Donald Rumsfeld) not to divulge how Pat died. Pat's body armour was burned so there would be no evidence that he was killed by friendly fire. According to his brother, Kevin and his mother, Mary, they believed the cover up occurred because the army wanted to deflect attention away from the Abu Gharib prison scandal. They needed a hero and they propped up Tillman as their poster boy for the War on Terror.

But was Pat really the hero they wanted? I mean, c'mon, the guy was extremely well read, supported John Kerry and urged others to do so, was friendly with Noam Chomsky, and (gasp!) was an atheist...clearly not someone who could be easily brainwashed. When questioned by the Tillman family in regards to Pat's death, Lt. Col. Ralph Kauzlarich, Tillman's cross commander in Afghanistan (in a show of tremendous Christian empathy) told Mary Tillman that Pat "got what he deserved." He suggested that the reason they’d found no closure was that infidels such as themselves (the Tillmans do not belong to a church), when they die, are only “worm dirt.” Apparently Tillman told his fellow soldiers in Afghanistan that Iraq was "fucking illegal war" that was distracting America from the real enemy, Al Qaeda.

So....how did Pat really die? Was it accidental or did some of his fellow troops, their brains short-circuiting from not being able to process the truth, shoot Pat in a rage of jingoistic fervor? Nah, that couldn't be possible. I mean, c'mon, people aren't that far gone around the bend to believe everything that Bush Co spews at them, right? RIGHT? Well, actually, they are.

Last Monday, President George W Bush, in between his tribal dance lesson and sticking pins in his Harry Reid doll, received a purple heart. How did our commander in chief receive an award which is reserved for troops who are wounded in combat? Bill Thomas, a decorated Vietnam vet from Copperas Cove, Texas, came up with idea of presenting President Bush with HIS purple heart to the president because he felt that Bush had endured "unprecedented verbal attacks, both foreign and domestic, during his time in office. We felt like emotional wounds and scars are as hard to carry as physical wounds," Thomas said.

"I just threw up in my mouth," Markadelphia said as he heard this story of unfathomable zombiesm. As one of my co-workers, also decorated with a Purple Heart from Vietnam, told me when I relayed this story to him, "That a man who made that sacrifice for our country can be so deluded as to give his Purple Heart (like it was a used car) to rich man's son whose daddy got him out of action (or could even bring it upon himself to serve with his Texas unit) is obscene beyond words."

More obscene is the fact that there are still around 90 million people (29 percent) in this country that believe that we are fighting for freedom in Iraq in order to protect ourselves from future terrorist attacks and that oil has got nothing to do with it. These same 90 million people also believe that Jesus Christ is coming back this year, we are in the final days, and if we don't do exactly what they tell us to do, all of us will be "left behind." So, as I kick off my presidential profiles series, ask yourselves this question:

Isn't it time to stop letting the loonies run the asylum?

Tuesday: John McCain.

Credit Where It's Due

The original idea for my post this week came from my pal Bill. I have to give him credit for inspiring me to write what I wrote as well as check out the facts he laid out in this diatribe.

I hope you enjoy this clip as much as I did

Bye Bye 'Berto

One more housekeeping item before I begin my series on presidential candidates. I think it is time for Attorney General Alberto Gonzales to resign. Why? The first reason is this incredibly dorky picture, at left, that is his "official" photo. Second, Mr. Gonzales seems to be operating under the assumption that he is still President Bush's personal attorney. He is not. He is my attorney, your attorney, and the rest of the population of the United States' attorney. There are plenty of bad guys out there for him to catch and he has proven that he would rather spend his days making sure which of the 93 US Attorneys are "loyal Bushies" than try to....say...prevent another terrorist attack.

Now, Attorney General Gonzales did not break the law...technically....when he, Karl Rove, and multiple staff members of the Justice Department fired eight US Attorneys a few months back. Administrations can hire and fire as they please. The problem that I see with all of this is that the fired attorneys, while loyal conservatives, weren't loyal to President Bush. They were loyal to the law. So when pressure was placed on them to act in more political issues than issues of the law, they balked. In other words, they wanted to uphold the law of the land, not go on snipe hunts for W.

Most people that I talk with about this "scandal" say that no one cares, really, unless they live in Washington DC. Your average Joe or Jane doesn't really think about it because it's all just "politics as usual." Well, if I were you, I would care about it because this whole mess has exposed the depth of President Bush's bullshit. And brother is it hip deep!

He has purposefully surrounded himself with mindless sycophants who are in their j0bs because they know how to say "yes" and they have no idea how to say "no." In other words, they are in their jobs to protect the president while he bends and breaks the law. They are not serving us. They are mindlessly serving their master who selected them based on their loyalty, not on their ability to do their jobs.

Take Monica Goodling for example. Until March 26 of this year, she was the Director of Public Affairs for the Justice Department. That's the third highest member of that department. Any idea where she got her law degree? Harvard? No. Yale? Nope. She got her law degree from Regent University. What school is that you say? Well, it happens to be the one run by this man to the left: Pat Robertson. Yes, that's right. Ms. Goodling got her degree from a TV evangelist's school which, by the way, is ranked among the lowest, academically speaking, in our entire country. Care to take a guess at how many other Bush administration appointees hale from Regent University?

150.

One hundred and fifty! It says so on their web site. Check it out here! Are you fucking kidding me? Is it any wonder that disaster after catastrophe has occurred during the last six years? These people are not smart, completely lack intellectual curiosity, and are perfect fodder for brainwashing into "loyal Bushies." Ms. Goodling is no exception.

When the fired attorneys scandal fully broke, she resigned her position at the Department of Justice and refused to testify, citing the fifth amendment. In its history, no Department of Justice employee has ever exercised their fifth amendment rights with respect to their official conduct, and remained an employee.

What will come of all of this? Who knows? But support for Attorney General Gonzales is fading, even with Republicans, and I think it's time he was replaced. President Bush needs to understand that the business of government should not be run by his personal pals and cronies. Can we please just fast forward to January of 2009 when our next president, from either side of the aisle, can appoint qualified, intelligent people that are not mindless zombies?

Sheesh....

The Most Tears

I think the most tears I have shed this week have been about this man. I know there were people much younger than him that died but Liviu Librescu's story really got to me. A Holocaust survivor, Librescu held the door shut as his students jumped out the window. He brought them precious seconds as Cho shot through the door ultimately killing him.

The story of his life was the subject of an article on the Christian Science Monitor today. You can read it here.

What a man. What a person. What a hero. I can't help but wonder if the reason he survived all the hardships in his life was to save his student's lives in the year 2007. Simply amazing.

Drugs, Mental Health....and Guns?

I was reading the New York Times' coverage today of the Virginia Tech massacre. As I turned to the back pages, I found this article. Click here. It was right next to the last part of a story about how they found prescription drugs in Cho's (the VT shooter) dorm room. Apparently Cho had also visited a mental health facility for suicidal feelings and violent thoughts.

And then I remembered hearing that Eric Harris and Dylan Kleibold, the Columbine shooters, were also on anti-depressant medication. I just double checked this and they were. For the last hour or so, I have looked up all of the major rampage killings in the last few years and guess what? There was mention of anti-depressant use in every case.

EVERY CASE!!!

Look, I am not saying that this is THE REASON why Cho killed everyone but the Times article says that one additional child out of 100 experienced worsening suicidal feelings but that would've happened anyway? Excuse me? Cho was that child! Clearly, these psychotropic drugs fuck with your brain and no one is talking about them because who wants to take on a billion dollar industry?

Final Question: How on earth did someone who was on medication AND spent time at a mental health facility buy a gun so easily? Good Lord...

This Week: Reflection

I have decided, in light of the shootings at Virginia Tech yesterday, to postpone my series on presidential candidates. It just doesn't seem appropriate.

I am still trying to get my head around what happened yesterday and how horrible it was. I am going to try to post some thoughts everyday and let's start a discussion in comments and see what happens.

My initial thoughts: this was a failure on just about every level you can think of in education. It was a failure of this university's culture to identify the young man who committed these crimes as needing help. It was a failure of security. It was a failure in response on the part of law enforcement authorities.

And now the reaction comes and that is a failure, too. The gun debate, of course, comes up again with all the typical cast of characters. No one wants to explore the real issue: why is our country so violent?

Your comments?

What Time Is It?

Time to get Wild and Loose with Morris Day and the Mother Fuckin' Time.

OK. Well, not really. Although all of you need to go out to your nearest CD store and purchase every CD released by The Time. They are:

The Time (1981)
What Time Is It? (1982)
Ice Cream Castle (1984)
Pandemonium (1990)

Anyway, the reason why I am asking myself, What Time Is It?, is because I am curious as to the calender year. It may say 2007 but it feels a heckuva lot like 2008. Why?

The 2008 Presidential Race has begun. And, sweet merciful crap, is it starting early!

Why it is starting so early is anyone's guess but my feeling is that most of our country is sick to death of George W Bush, his bullshit lies, and the rapid decay of our country that he and President Cheney are responsible for. We want to look to the future and have some hope, for crying out loud, by pretending that we can somehow kick our ignorant, child emperor out of office early.

Over the next couple of weeks, I am going to post yours truly's opinions on all of the candidates that have thrown their hat into the ring. I am very interested in your opinions, positive and negative alike. Starting tomorrow, I will be posting short, three or four paragraph takes on each candidate, beginning with the ones I like the least and ending with the ones I like the most. Each will receive a letter grade score. The last two, one from each party, will be the candidates that I feel would be great presidents and could really turn this country around.

I don't know how many I will put up each week, probably no more than three, so scroll down and leave comments on any post you want. Let's start multiple threads on each profile and see what everyone thinks.

Tuesday: John McCain.

Your Tax Dollars

Check out this video from YouTube. Nice picture of the palettes of money that came from YOUR tax dollars to Halliburton directly to....where exactly? This video says it was 12 billion but I have read that it was more like 9 billion dollars that basically vanished.

Let's hear it, conservatives. Since you like to bitch about tax dollars being wasted on all those lazy poor people, how do you feel about it being wasted on lazy rich people?

The Gap

Take a look at this graphic to the left. I pulled this from a Christian Science Monitor article which was reporting on our new Treasury Secretary, Henry Paulson. In his first major speech last year, he declared what most of us already know to be true: the poor and middle class of our country are getting screwed while the nation's elite are prospering.

"Amid this country's strong economic expansion, many Americans simply aren't feeling the benefits," Paulson said during his first major speech as Treasury secretary, at Columbia University's business school in New York on Monday. "Their increases in wages are being eaten up by high energy prices and rising health care costs, among others."

And the median wage hasn't really gone up at all. Between 2001 and 2004, the median income of Americans with college degrees rose from $72,300 to $73,000 (after adjusting for inflation), according to a Federal Reserve survey of consumer finances.

So, what does the graph mean? Well, even though we are a wealthy nation, we rank below all these other countries in the fair distribution of that wealth. I don't know about you but....Denmark? Fucking Denmark? Good Lord.

Tim Gets The Sack

It's been awhile. Time to haul out the Shitsack.

A couple of weeks ago, my old pal Merrill, staunch neocon who works out at the same gym I do, cornered me by the elipticals. "Hey, Mark. You liberals are trying to raise my taxes again. What gives? It's just sour grapes because Governor Pawlenty did something they could never do: balance the budget without raising taxes," she decried with the usual conservative fervor.

Not being too well versed on economics, I just nodded and listened as she droned on about how poor people, schools, and the elderly are stealing money from ordinary citizens like herself. This wasn't the first time I have heard a conservative trumpet the fact that our governor turned a 4.5 billion dollar deficit into a surplus. I think this is one of the few things neocons have left, which, incidentally, can be found on page 29 of the Conservative Talking Points Manual. Knowing neocon's "facts" the way I do, I decided to take a look into the current budget battle and see if I could make sense of it all.

First of all, Governor Pawlenty is completely full of shit when he says that he balanced the budget through spending cuts. They didn't even make a dent. What did make a dent is the $1 billion dollar increase in state licenses and fees as well as the $1.4 billion dollars in property tax increases (that's $866 per household) since T-Paw took office. How the spending did make a dent was in the level of service the state offers. Schools are in financial disarray, the roads have gone to hell, and cities have been laying off policemen and firemen left and right.

Second, the current budget battle is not over raising taxes. It's about returning the tax percentages to what they were before the poster child for rich people welfare took office. According to the Minnesota Revenue Service, households earning between $45,000 and $105,000 pay 12.3 percent in state and local taxes, while households earning above $105,000 pay 10.9 percent. The very wealthiest Minnesotans, who earn above $355,000, pay 9 percent.

Are you fucking kidding me?

I am paying a third more, percentage wise, in taxes than someone making three times as much money as our family does? And people are defending this? What cracks me up about fiscal conservatives is the don't just tell the simple truth. It's not that they distrust governments spending habits. It's that rich people want to keep their grubby hands on their sweaty money. They are greedy. Pick up any history book about any country and you will see the same story. People who have wealth essentially steal money from the people who don't to maintain their power and control over them. The fact that we think America is somehow "different" and is a magical place filled with freedom shows how wonderully vain and shortsighted we truly are.

Anyway, the plans that are currently being proposed in the Democratic controlled state congress return the percentages back to what they were five years ago. And it wants to add higher taxes to gas, liquor and cigarette purchases. Gee, what a shock that ol T-Paw would be against this as well....y'know, cutting into the purse of the gas, alcohol, and tobacco lobby which pretty much owns conservatives across the country including him.

So, Tim, my old friend, I have been too busy of late trying to spread the word about the dangerous psychotics in DC destroying my children's future. Up until now, you have slipped under the radar but now? Now, I am going to be up your ass with a tweezer when you start flapping your gums about taxes and liberals because you are a liar. Your only mission in life is to make sure that the wealthy of this state continue to bleed poor people dry.

And, thus, you get the Shitsack.

Worth 1000 Words

Take a look at this picture taken by Stephen Crowley of the New York Times. In the foreground is President Bush giving a speech yesterday at the White House. The figure to the left is Vice President Cheney.

Aside from the obvious hunting jokes ("Look Out! He has a gun!" or "Oh great, another shooter on the the grassy knoll..."), doesn't this image sum up the entire Bush presidency?

Bush, the figurehead, with Cheney hiding in the bushes, the one really pulling the strings?

Priceless.

I See Dead People

This week, I thought a break from politics was in order. There is so much going on in Washington DC that I think I have hit overload. So, I thought I would focus on a problem that has been chawing on my ass for...well...let's see...for all of the 22 years I have lived here in the beautiful state of Minnesota

Over the last couple of years, I have taken several trips to Chicago. I enjoy dropping my kids off at my mom's and having a nice weekend alone with my wife, who used to live in Chicago and loves visiting her old hometown. In addition, one of my best friends moved there in 2005 and I like to go visit her on occasion. To the left is a picture of her and me at a reggae club on Clark, a couple of blocks away from Wrigley Field. Isn't she cute?

Anyway, most of you who know me know that I am a social animal of the highest order. Given a choice, the most fun I can possibly have (sans kids) involves bullshiting with my friends at a pub or seeing a band play live. In other words, I like going out on the town, man....hitting and sticking my way through the rapture that is the club scene. The smell of Vodka red bulls, cigarettes (when they aren't banned), sweat, love, and loud music is a mega tonic for me and I really NEED to immerse myself in the pool of bar sensuality at least 3 or 4 times a month to remain sane.

Therefore you can only imagine how someone, like myself, who enjoys these things feels about a city like Chicago. Basically, it's like a steak lover devouring a Silver Butter Knife at Murray's. Chicago is the Big Mother Fuckin' Daddy of the bar and club scene. Every trip I have taken there over the last few years (on average three times a year) has been nothing short of spectacular and a large part of that is due to the night life there and the wonderfully friendly people. So, it comes with great disappointment and sadness that I must inform all of you that live in Minneapolis:

Our city is fucking lame.

Actually, lame is not harsh enough. The bar/club scene in Minneapolis is terribly appalling, terrifically tedious, and just outright awful. Why?

The people who live here are fucking lame.

Actually lame is not harsh enough. I hope I don't make too many enemies here but, citizens of the seven county Metro area, you bore me to tears. You have no energy, nothing interesting to talk about except your fucking cabin and golf. You are getting fatter by the day from sitting in front of the television watching NASCAR and eating Cheetos. The dumb ass little cliques that you all cling needfully to are sub human. In other words, you NEVER GO OUT!! What is the matter with all of you?

I think you need me to illustrate the difference between going out in Minneapolis and Chicago. It is my sincere hope that you will then understand my frustration.

Minneapolis

Mark calls up several of his friends for a night out on the town. None of them call him back because they are dicks. Mark then elects to go to a bar by himself. The first bar he goes into has three guys in fucking baseball caps talking about their lawn mowers. One guy discusses the lamentable chore of mowing both his lawn here in town and his lawn at the cabin. Super! An attempt to engage them in a conversation elicits a series of grunts and crooked looks from the three men. One of them then says to Mark, "You talk like a fag." Mark leaves.

He then goes into another bar which has no guys present at all but does have a couple of groups of girls in them. He tries to engage each of them in conversation only to have most of them bring up, rather quickly, the fact that they have boyfriends . Others look at him like he just shit his pants and the stink is wafting around him.

Finally, he tries a bar with a band playing. The room is large and could probably handle 300 people. Mark sees four people there, probably friends of the band, dancing in the empty darkness.

It is 10pm on a Friday night.

Chicago

Mark calls up his friends in Chicago. All of them call him back and either agree to join him or say they have other plans. Mark stops at one of the eight thousand bars on Clark to have a quiet beer by himself before meeting with his friends. He sits at the bar. A basketball game is on TV and the other guys at the bar engage Mark in a hoops related conversation. I learn their names and hear about their lives. They play 16 inch softball in Grant Park. They work at various jobs around town, all of which are interesting, and have girlfriends except Chad who has a boyfriend.

Throughout the course of his stay at this bar, women come up to him. They ask him his name, inquire about his marital status, bullshit about bands, love, orgasms and life. Mark says his goodbyes and meets his friends at another bar on Clark. More drinking, laughing, goofing around, ass grabbing, and meeting new people are had at this bar. Everyone is outgoing and extremely friendly. We then go to another club to see a band where we pick up more people. They are all interested in what I have to say. I am interested in their stories.

It is 10pm on a Friday night.

Now can you see the difference?

People of Minneapolis (speaking specifically to the guys here): Put down your video game controller, go out to a bar and cut loose with your pals. Talk about life, sports, music...actually have a conversation with someone. Going out to a bar with your laptop and mulling over fantasy football picks is not what I am talking about. Do you have to go to your cabin every weekend? There is a whole city out there to enjoy, people to meet, and a culture to suck. Do you really want to spend your time in a fucking golf cart with man tits bouncing around through your stupid looking polo shirt?

And ladies, don't think you are immune to criticism either. I would humbly suggest to you that when you do go out to a bar or a club, please remove the giant pole that you have up your ass and separate yourself from your herd. I realize that our culture here in the Northwoods frowns upon people being friendly to one another but, good God, woman! The unhappiness you feel in your life can be directly traced to the fact that you don't take any risks and maybe...say...starting a conversation with a cool looking dude at a club might make you enjoy life a little more. Better yet, open up your little sewing circle and let some more chicks in. Check that catty bullshit at the door...life is too short.

I say all of these things out of tough love because, in the end, I really do love all of you but you are really letting me down. It's so obvious to me that most of your unhappiness stems from the fact that you have filled your life with meaningless bullcrap that takes you away from the social contact you need as a human being. You have so much potential to be much happier people than you are but you are squandering it by refusing to cut loose once a week and kick out the jams. Stop being so fucking insular and realize that your experience on this planet is a human one and there are scores of people out there waiting to help you revel in it. There are scores of empty places in our fair city that are willing and anxiously waiting for you to decorate their establishments with the wonder that is you.

They are called bars. They are called clubs. And people go there to have fun.

So, enough with the staying-at-home-non-phone call-returning-when-I-call-you-up-to-go-out-bullshit! I know you have it in you. Get out, talk loud, and be proud.

And let me know where you will be at so we can hook up later.

If I Were A Traitor

It seems that yours truly has had his patriotism questioned recently. This has happened in the past and I have always thought of the Mark Twain quote which Bill Maher uses in the above speech.

"Patriots support their country all time and their government when it deserves it,"

It's funny that this has come up because I was all set to write a column about the ever growing list of laws that Bush Co has broken and why they aren't considered traitors.

Oh, well. Bill beat me to it, as usual. Don't forget to check out the video below from Congressmen Patrick Murphy as well.

If I Were A Congressmen...

...I would want to be just like this guy. Representative Patrick J. Murphy (D-PA) gave this speech on Friday March 23, 2007 that will be remembered as the beginning of the end of the delusion we have suffered in for the last four years in Iraq.

Oh, and for you neocons that might entertain the notion that Mr Murphy has no clue what it's "really like in Iraq"...sorry to burst your ever shrinking bubble of misguided patriotism but Representative Murphy served two deployments after 9/11 - the first to Bosnia in 2002 and the second to Baghdad, Iraq in 2003-2004 as a paratrooper with the 82nd Airborne Division. In Iraq, Captain Murphy advised on offensive operations, initiated reconstruction efforts within the justice system, trained the new Iraqi Civil Defense Corps on the rules of engagement and was instrumental in the prosecution of Sheik Moyad, a radical lieutenant of Muqtada Sadr. For his service, Patrick earned the Bronze Star and his unit earned the Presidential Unit Citation.

Huh. Maybe Democrats do know a thing or two about the defense of this nation.

And what it means to truly be a patriot.

UN Secretary General Speaks in Iraq

Check this out on You Tube. Wow. I guess the troop surge is really working. If the media could only report the good news...sigh.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RZ2KWqsTJ-4

Orewell That Ends Well

Bill Maher has been on a roll lately. This commentary dovetails nicely with my post this week. We have lost so much...if only more people could see really see it.

Profiles In Courage Volume 8: A Voice of Reason

Four years ago today, our country embarked on what will be remembered as the biggest failing in our history. In an effort to "take the fight to Al Qaeda," President Bush invaded Iraq on March 19, 2003. Since that day, I have written many words on here about why Iraq has been a colossal blunder. I went from supporting the war in the beginning to seeing unconscionable actions by this administration result in disaster. I have listened to lie after lie about how we are "doing" in Iraq and tried to understand the people who still support this war.

A few weeks ago I started working on an anniversary piece on the Iraq invasion. After a few paragraphs, I realized that I was repeating myself and should probably come up with something else. On the evening of March 10 I sat down to watch one of my favorite programs, Real Time with Bill Maher, and the first guest said something which made me fall out of my chair. I was shocked for three reasons. First, he was a general. Second, he said something I didn't think it was possible for a general to say, which was:

"We've got this thing that so many military believe that Republican administrations are good for the military. That is rarely the case. And, we have to get a message through to every soldier, every family member, every friend of soldiers that the Republican party, the Republican dominated Congress has absolutely been the worst thing that's happened to the United States Army and the United States Marine Corps."

and third, he was the man who by many is considered to be the father of the Iraq Army. So I decided I would tell his story and let the General, who knows Iraq very well, comment on where we are at with "things" in Iraq four years later.

Major General Paul D. Eaton was born in Weatherford, OK and has served in the United States military for 32 years. Throughout his career he has received the following medals: Distinguished Service Medal, Defense Superior Service Medal, Legion of Merit (with 3 Oak Leaf Clusters), Meritorious Service Medal (with 2 Oak Leaf Clusters), Army Commendation Medal (with 2 Oak Leaf Clusters) and the Army Achievement Medal just to name a few. In June of 2003, General Eaton took over as Commanding General, Coalition Military Assistance Training Team, Baghdad, Iraq which essentially means he was tasked to build the Iraqi Army. In less than a year, he built an infrastructure out of nothing creating an army of a 27-battalion, nine-brigade, three-division army and air force, navy, coastal defense force, civil defense corps, police service, facilities protection service, border police force, customs police force, immigration police force, national security police force and a diplomatic protection service officers force.

Some would argue that General Eaton failed in his task when he ended his tour of duty in June of 2004. Violence in Iraq has spiraled out of control and the country is currently engaged in a civil war. I say he was handed a bag of shit from Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld and told to turn it into a steak dinner for 27 million people, a highly improbable task. In the end, he did the best he could possibly do.

When he retired from service in 2005, General Eaton became one of the first voices in what eventually became a chorus of military personnel who began to speak out about how poorly this war has been managed. In recent editorials, Eaton has said that the Iraq War can't be won militarily and there must be a "diplomatic surge" to secure peace. Naturally, he was criticized for being a "traitor" and a "pawn of the left." I find this to be odd as all the information about Paul Eaton that I got was from official military web sites which unanimously sung his praises and service.

On March 10, 2007, the stunning condemnation that General Eaton delivered on Real Time, which can be seen on video and in its entirety at the conclusion of this column, gave me hope that people of good faith, service, and reason can finally start speaking truth to power. For all the polls that say that most people are against this war, we still have just enough people that support it to keep it going. Everyone needs to realize that President Bush, Dick Cheney, and their mindless sychophants have NOT been fighting the "War on Terror." They have used 9-11 to systematically take away most of our civil liberties, destroy the constitutional balance of power, and waste countless American and Iraqi lives while spending billions of dollars, most of which went to their own friends in the corporate world. The disgust that I feel for these disgraceful people whom we call our "leaders" is unfathmable; they are an embarassment of biblical proportions and my children will have to endure the irrevocable harm that they have inflicted on our great nation.

Are there any more Paul Eatons out there in the world? Raise your voices, proud men and women, and tell your stories.

General Paul D. Eaton on Bill Maher

Great Bunch A Guys

It's been awhile since I have written about the firearm lobby. You know the fellas I am talking about....the ones who wish they could do what I do at least three times a week...if they could only get it up without a gun.

Last Sunday I read Dennis Anderson's weekly column in the Star and Tribune and saw what is perhaps the finest example of the pure psychotic paranoia of these dickheads. Jim Zumbo, an avid outdoors man, columnist, and popular host on the Outdoor Channel, has been ex-communicated from the cabal of gun boys. It all started on February 19th when he wrote:

I must be living in a vacuum. The guides on our hunt tell me that the use of AR and AK rifles have a rapidly growing following among hunters, especially prairie dog hunters. I had no clue. Only once in my life have I ever seen anyone using one of these firearms. I call them "assault" rifles, which may upset some people. Excuse me, maybe I'm a traditionalist, but I see no place for these weapons among our hunting fraternity. I'll go so far as to call them "terrorist" rifles. They tell me that some companies are producing assault rifles that are "tack drivers."

Sorry, folks, in my humble opinion, these things have no place in hunting. We don't need to be lumped into the group of people who terrorize the world with them, which is an obvious concern. I've always been comfortable with the statement that hunters don't use assault rifles. We've always been proud of our "sporting firearms." This really has me concerned. As hunters, we don't need the image of walking around the woods carrying one of these weapons. To most of the public, an assault rifle is a terrifying thing. Let's divorce ourselves from them. I say game departments should ban them from the prairies and woods.

Within 36 hours of this post on his blog, Zumbo was fired as spokesman for Remington, fired as Outdoor Channel employee, fired by Outdoor Life magazine for which he worked for over 40 years, and his blog removed from the Outdoor Life website.

Dennis Anderson, our very own outdoor columnist and avid hunter had this to say:

What's going on here? Can't a person -- particularly someone who has long supported anything and everything to do with the "outdoors" (including conservation) -- express an opinion without losing a career?

The answer is no, Dennis, a person can't. The reason for this is that the people who run the gun lobby are a group of mentally ill Nazis who are so insecure about anyone expressing an opinion that wavers even slightly from canon that any small step out of line is meet with extreme punishment. This is how they have always been and will always operate. It's how pretty much all conservatives seem to operate these days. None of this comes as a shock to me at all. Hell, I am surprised that didn't just shoot Jim Zumbo in the head with an AR or AK rifle.

Zumbo's biggest mistake was not dissing the rifles themselves but warning hunters of becoming just like terrorists. Huh. Imagine that. Wasn't it yours truly who has been called "nuts" and "paranoid" and "a traitor" by several neocons who post on this blog for saying the exact same thing? And now, here we have a member of an atypical conservative group stating what is very plainly the truth and look at what happened to him. Tell me again that I am nuts. Speak to me again about how my opinions about conservatives are inaccurate. Please explain to me how I am the irrational one, in the face of this complete bullshit, and am only presenting part of the truth.

His comments obviously struck a chord in nuttersville and, in the end, truly illustrate a mindset that is extremely dangerous. On almost every conservative issue, there is no wavering. That is a sign of weakness. No matter how awful the results of any action, conservatives must stay the course, not give in, and not allow any dissent. Iraq is an example of this. Our current "fuck you, we're better" approach to international relations is an example of this. Health Care, Education, the Environment, Homeland Security....have only one way to be handled and that's the "Right" way.

And we all better fall in line otherwise we'll end up like Jim Zumbo.

The Numbers Are In!

Thanks to one of my intrepid readers I have some wonderful statistics to share with all of you. On March 2nd, the three major news networks coverage of Anna Nicole Smith and the Walter Reed Scandal were totalled.

CNN made 40 references to Anna Nicole Smith and 53 to the Walter Reed Scandal. MSNBC made 96 references to Anna Nicole Smith and 84 to the Walter Reed Scandal.

and Fox News....my oh my.....121 references to Anna Nicole Smith and 10 to the Walter Reed Scandal. Bwaa Haa Haa. Are you fucking kidding me?

Someone who thinks that Fox News is a real news channel please post in comments. C'mon, I double dog dare ya!!

How the Republican Media is trying to bury Walter Reed Story

Really? Nah...the couldn't, could they?

How many Anna Nicole Smith videos and how many Walter Reed videos?

Yeah, talk to me some more about the "liberal" media....

Support Our Tr..oo.....um....wait a minute...

On February 15, 2004 John Kerry said the following at a primary debate:

"President Bush cut the VA (Veterans Administration) budget and is not kept faith with veterans across this country. And one of the first definitions of patriotism is keeping faith with those who wore the uniform of our country.”

He was laughed at by every neocon from here to Timbuktu because, as I'm sure you are all aware, Democrats don't care about the troops. Why would anything a traitor like John Kerry says be true anyway?

On March 19, 2005 President Bush cut $350 million dollars from the federal budget for veterans, specifically in the area of home funding which amounts to about 5000 medical beds for our troops. The Governor of Pennsylvania, Ed Rendell, a Democrat, said this was unconscionable. Neocons accused Governor Rendell of being a traitor and not supporting the troops by criticizing the president.

On February 13, 2007 President Bush again proposed cutting part of the budget for veterans starting in 2009 and continuing through 2010 in the hopes of balancing the budget by 2012. Democrats again raised concerns about how our troops are our greatest treasure and the sacrifices they make should be repaid in kind. I remember asking a neocon friend of mine at a party about how he, as a veteran, felt about the cuts. He told me that Democrats lie about everything, no one cares more about the troops than Republicans, and it was his job, as a soldier, to kill any Democrat that came into his gun sight.

In the last two weeks, most of the major media began running stories about conditions at Walter Reed hospital. Pictures and video showed black mold in the bathrooms, mouse droppings on the floors everywhere, and holes in just about every wall in the place. Soldiers, heretofore afraid to speak out, began telling stories of the rotten medical care they have received since serving in Iraq and Afghanistan. Other military hospitals around the country have now been called to the mat, as several soldiers have cited similar conditions. Maj. Gen. George Weightman, who oversaw Walter Reed, was fired immediately. Last week, Army Secretary Francis J. Harvey also resigned in what many have finally come to see as the most appalling fuck up of Bush Co's tenure in the White House.

Yes, that's right. You heard me correctly. This is Bush Co's fault. They decided we should go into Iraq and quite obviously didn't plan for how taxed the veteran's health care system would be. In fact, they made matters worse but cutting funding for programs that were already underfunded and thus, people like Cpl. Wendell McLeod were treated like animals. "This is how we treat our soldiers -- we give them nothing," Annette McLeod, wife of Cpl. McLeod said. "They're good enough to go and sacrifice their life, and we give them nothing."

Ms. McLeod is one many voices of veteran's families that I hope can be heard. These are the people that the right wing media ignore, spewing more of their lies and hate about how Democrats "don't support the troops." Neocons inability to look at these stories boggles my mind and is, in the end I guess, completely expected by a group of people who regularly accuse liberals as being out of touch with reality while they are, in fact, living life at fucking Disneyland.

The policies of George W Bush have been idiotic, incompetent, and utterly unkind which, quite honestly, I think is being polite. For him to stand up in front of the public and say he cares about the troops has now been categorically proven to be one of the greatest lies in the history of our country. The pictures and videos I have seen are nauseating, to the say the least, and I was so far beyond appalled by this it was hard for me to know where to begin. So I started with the man who might have been president whose words from three years ago ended up being exactly true.

I wonder what else he was right about?

Ah, Hunter...

A reader sent me this quote over email yesterday. I miss Hunter S. Thompson...his acerbic wit, his assholeishness, his complete command the English language, and his honesty. This was written shortly before his death in 2005.

"We have become a Nazi monster in the eyes of the whole world -- a nation of bullies and bastards who would rather kill than live peacefully. We are not just Whores for power and oil, but killer whores with hate and fear in our hearts. We are human scum, and that is how history will judge us. No redeeming social value. Just whores. Get out of our way, or we'll kill you. Well, shit on that dumbness, George W. Bush does not speak for me or my son or my mother or my friends or the people I respect in this world. We didn't vote for these cheap, greedy little killers who speak for America today -- and we will not vote for them again in 2002. Or 2004. Or ever. Who does vote for these dishonest shitheads? Who among us can be happy and proud of having all this innocent blood on our hands? Who are these swine? These flag-sucking half-wits who get fleeced and fooled by stupid rich kids like George Bush? They are the same ones who wanted to have Muhammad Ali locked up for refusing to kill gooks. They speak for all that is cruel and stupid and vicious in the American character. They are the racists and hate mongers among us -- they are the Ku Klux Klan. I piss down the throats of these Nazis. And I am too old to worry about whether they like it or not. Fuck them."

Special Comment

One of my regular readers sent this to me and I thought it was pretty accurate. Enjoy!

Aargh!!!

Alright, I can't take it anymore. And I am tired of being nice. The last few days have made me unbearably ashamed of our country....aggravating me to the point of nuclear acid reflex syndrome. So I must vent!

First up is Army Chief of Staff General Peter Schoomaker who, at a speech last Friday, was asked about where the Army was in finding Osama bin Laden. The response of the highest ranking officer in the Army? "I don't know whether we'll find him," he said in a speech to the Rotary Club of Fort Worth. "I don't know that it's all that important, frankly."

Great. That's just fucking great. I don't want to hear one more word from ANY conservatives about how the Democrats are weak on terror. You want to gripe about something? Start with this guy. And after that why don't you move on to President Bush and Drunken Shooter, who were both quoted over the weekend as saying that the United States will never bomb KNOWN Al Qaeda bases in Pakistan because they are our allies.

Hey, George and Dickhead, why don't you fly over there, help them put on their jammies, and give them a good night kiss...making sure they are comfortable, of course! Osama bin Laden is responsible for the 9-11 attacks. He is our nation's biggest threat. He is Number One on the FBI's most wanted list and the Army thinks he doesn't matter anymore? And Shooter wants to rely on Pakistan to help "root out Al Qaeda?" Right. Like that is going to happen. And somehow this is all OK ? Something is very, very wrong here people. The words coming out of these people's mouths....something stinks to high heaven and I smells me a rat.

Helping matters immensely as always, is our own resident moron, Michele Bachmann (R-MN, 6th District) who has been going around saying that she knows of a "secret Iranian plan" to partition Iraq into three parts and create a terrorist safe haven. "Half of Iraq, the Western and Northern Portion of Iraq, is going to be called the Iraq State of Islam, something like that. And I'm sorry, I don't have the official name, but it's meant to be the training grounds for terrorists, " she was quoted as saying.

Um...what the fuck are you talking about Michele? First of all, Iran supports the US backed government because it is a Shiite led body. Second, the Northern part of Iraq is run by the Kurds, peacefully I might add, and have no love loss for Iran. In fact, they have been and are our strongest ally in the country. Third, most of the violence in Iraq is being carried out by Sunni extremists, who loathe Iran and have NOTHING WHATSOEVER TO DO WITH AL QAEDA (aka the people who actually attacked us on 9-11).

None of what she is saying makes any sense to me but in this day and age of conservatives making up a bunch of shit based on their paranoid delusions, lying about it, and then playing into people's ignorant fears to gain votes, maybe by this time next week, the Bachman View on Iran will be gospel (pun fully intended).

For those of you who live in the Sixth District of Minnesota, your representative has taken leave of her senses and needs to be removed from office immediately. Please demand a recall vote and find someone who a). knows what they are talking about and b). is not completely full of shit. For more on this nausea, click here.

Thank goodness, though that we have the media, who can always be relied upon to report only the most important issues of the day. CNN, MSNBC, and Fox News are all bastions of democratic discourse and continually further our own intellectual.....wait, sorry, I have to stop typing because now I am the one that is completely full of shit.

For the last week, all three of the major news networks have been wall to wall Anna Nicole Smith and Brittany fucking Spears. This is news? Arguments over the body of dead woman? A spoiled bitch shaving her head is the lead story? Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, our own Star and Tribune ran a story about how Anna Nicole Smith "really wanted to be friends with Brittany." Really? (Giggle....) That's just so way cool important!!!

I am sooooo happy (photo above fully conveys my message to all three networks) to see that we are right back where we were on September 10, 2001 when the most important news of the day were people being attacked by sharks. Do you want to know why Al Qaeda managed to attack us so easily? It's because of bullshit idiocy like all of the above.

Imagine being a family member of someone who died in the 9-11 attacks. You are now being told by your government that the person responsible for the attacks isn't that important. You have a member of Congress who was the emotional maturity of a thirteen year old girl and likes to make up stuff! Your media has completely and utterly failed you in being the public purveyor of important information.

How do you feel?

The Funnies

I think I have put just about every typical section of a newspaper up here over the years: news, sports, entertainment, and opinion (obviously). Saving the weather for another time, I thought I would share a comic that I saw the other day in the City Pages. If you can't read it, click on the picture and it take you to page where can view it in a larger size

It has been two days since I saw it and I am still laughing about it.

Oooo, tough guy!

There has been a lot of talk in the latest thread about how Democrats are "weak" and Republicans are "tough" so I thought I would share this video with all of you.

This was a press conference six months after 9-11. If Al Gore were president and said these things, neocons would've called for his head. Instead, since George Bush can do no wrong, he gets a free pass. Oh, and Mr. President, the host country that you talk about here...hmm...Taliban resurgence, Al Qaeda camps rebuilt...

You're doing a heckuva job, Brownie!