Friday, April 24, 2009
Stomach...hurts....too much laughter
Following the Republican Party of late has been a movingly depressing experience, sort of like watching Old Yeller die — if Old Yeller were a worm-infested feral bitch who spent the past eight years biting children at bus stops and shitting in neighborhood swimming pools. As a useful force in American politics, the Republicans have been dead for a while now. But in the seven months since Sarah Palin's nomination, they have taken on an intriguing new role: providing much-needed comic relief during dark times, serving as the unofficial rodeo clowns of the Financial Crisis Era.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
NEWSFLASH!
Jesus Christ would have approved of water boarding.
That's right folks. I've taken an informal poll of my conservative friends (not last in line as he is currently the star of Salsa Tonight!) and they all agree that, in addition to carrying an assault rifle, if Jesus were alive today, water boarding would've have been just dandy with him. I guess they really don't get the meaning of these passages.
Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.
Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
(Matthew 5: 9-10)
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Last In Line...Salsas!
For those of you who wanted to know what Last In Line looks like, here he is in all his glory. Of course, I'm sure many of you thought that when you first did see him that it wouldn't be like this!
Looks pretty good, doesn't he?
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Words of Wisdom
The meaning of "communism" and "socialism" has been thrown out there so much to describe so many things that it is really now meaningless. What does it mean to say that Obama is a socialist? First, get the definition of that correct, and then offer up the proof. Raising taxes is not "socialist." Requiring banks who take TARP money to hold to certain rules is not socialist.
We've never been an unrestricted free market. The govt has always attached strings to its funding. The interstate/highway funding of each state is contingent (partially) on the state having a drinking age of no less than 21. It's been that way for many years now. Is that socialist? I mean, who is the fed govt to tell the states what laws they have to make? But if they give the funding, they can make it contingent on following their rules.
Obama has not even advocated repealing the bush tax cuts yet. And he proposes a modest increase in the upper tax bracket percentage, back to where it was under Clinton.
The sky hardly fell then. The hyperbole and hysteria of certain right wing people is just getting to be too much- like the boy who cried wolf. It's not being taken seriously. There has been much government intervention over the years- our country was not a libertarian free for all with no taxes and no restrictions before Obama took office.
And yet some people are acting like Obama is going to confiscate not only our money, but our guns and our houses and perhaps put us in concentration camps. We need a little perspective and some knowledge of history. And when we pay taxes, it is not OUR money being stolen from us. WE are the govt, WE elect these people, WE decide as part of the social contract that we need to pay taxes for the common good. We are not just a nation of individuals, every man for himself. Admittedly there's govt waste and incompetence, and that should be addressed. But different issue.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Suddenly he's not a socialist.
At the time, the wealthiest people in this country were taxed at a whopping 91 percent of their income and some of that money went to build the infrastructure that built highways like Interstate 35 that runs from Duluth in my home state all the way down to Texas. Imagine that...a Republican using the government to make the economy better.
Of course, that would never happen today as it is quite clear to 58 million Americans that President Obama is going to "drag us into that European cesspool of socialism" as a conservative friend of mine recently reminded me. That number of 58 million just got a little smaller, though, as a friend of mine's railroad products company (his dad owns the company and he sits on the board of directors) has suddenly seen the light. Most everyone there has been pretty right wing and very much Obama loathers...that is until last Thursday.
As if out of someone's ass (where it all started to begin with), President Obama is a great guy! And not a socialist at all...
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Teabags and Traitors
My posts over the last week or so have been around the general theme of how entertaining the right has become since they got their asses handed to them in the last election. They started off as their usual peptic selves and have since boiled over into a hilarious combination of insanity and paranoia spewing forth heretofore unfathomable lies and deceit. What has caused them to get this way?
First up is tax day (April 15th)...always a day to rile up conservatives. I want my money, damnit! But I also want a strong defense, smooth roads, and someone to take care of me when I am shitting my pants at age 80. Ah, the hyperbole.....
This year, in a sad attempt to find some galvanizing event to coalesce into something resembling a party, they have glommed on, much to the chagrin of real Libertarians who despise Republicans spending as much as they do Democrats spending, to the various "Tea Parties" being thrown around the nation to protest against President Obama's tax policies and his....socialism?
(Mark leaves computer area and walks into family room. Finds pillow with which to muffle copious amounts of laughter)
First of all, this year they would actually be protesting the tax policies of President Bush, not President Obama, who passed 2009 laws in 2008. Second, President Obama is more than likely going to wait to raise taxes on the top percent of this country AFTER Bush's tax cuts expire in 2010...which means that won't actually happen until 2011. He is doing this because, contrary to the belief in psycho-ville, he does have conservative economists advising him. And, third, socialism? Ok...um...fucksticks? Please do a little research. The current tax rate in the upper bracket is 36 percent. Under President Obama's plan it would increase to 39 percent. JESUS H JOHNSON!! If that's not socialism, then I don't know what is!! Anyone want to take a guess what it was Reagan? Nixon? Eisenhower? 50, 70, and 91 percent!
Oh...no...that's going to leave a mark.
The fact is that the progressive tax was put into play by a Republican (Teddy Roosevelt) first because he called it the "fair and right thing to do...to spread the wealth." Imagine if ol' Teddy were around today...he would be taken out back and shot in the head by his own party.
And then we have the Department of Homeland Security Report which has right wing pundits blowing the biggest bowel since Hoover dropped his last deuce in office. The report (which should be titled "No Shit") says that "right-wing extremists have capitalized on the election of the first African American president, and are focusing their efforts to recruit new members, mobilize existing supporters and broaden their scope and appeal through propaganda, but they have not yet turned to attack planning," the assessment reads.
"The current economic and political climate has some similarities to the 1990s when right-wing extremism experienced a resurgence fueled largely by an economic recession, criticism about the outsourcing of jobs and the perceived threat to U.S. power and sovereignty by other foreign powers.," it continues.
The report also points to returning veterans from Iraq and Afghanistan as potential targets for recruiting saying that their combat skills would be welcome in such groups. It urges more support and funding for veterans so as to avoid "the difficulty of veterans to reintegrate into their communities that could lead to the potential emergence of terrorist groups or lone wolf extremists capable of carrying out violent attacks."
It goes on to say that "proposed imposition of firearms restrictions and weapons bans likely would attract new members into the ranks of right-wing extremist groups ... The high volume of purchases and stockpiling of weapons and ammunition by right-wing extremists in anticipation of restrictions and bans in some parts of the country continue to be a primary concern to law enforcement."
This report has prompted cries of outrage from the right. All of you will have to excuse me for a moment....
(Mark leaves computer area and walks outside. His neighbors ask him if he needs any help as he is LAUGHING HIS FUCKING ASS OFF SO HARD THAT HE HAS PHYSICALLY LOST CONTROL OF HIMSELF.)
Setting aside the obvious and highly humorous fact at how many right wingers these days act and sound like Al Qaeda (remember English translation of Al Qaeda is "the base":)), what I find to be outrageously ironic about this is how many of these folks spent months screaming about Bill Ayers and now, when DHS gets a flood of new threats from right wing extremists every day...threats that we are not privy to...threats that make Ayers look like an eight year old with a green water pistol...and we have a sitting Congress person calling for people to be "armed and dangerous" THEY HAVE THE GALL TO CRY "FASCISM?!?
Perhaps they might want to stop listening to dolts like Michelle Malkin and ACTUALLY TAKE A LOOK AT REALITY. They will see, as I did last July, that the chief concern under the subject heading Domestic Terrorism comes from their side of the aisle not the left...and has for the last 15 years. Take a look at the fucking facts. Make sure you read the first comment directly after my post which entirely proves my point.
The last time I checked it was illegal to make a threat on the president's life. This happens all the time in koolaidville. The frenzy and anger that has been whipped up by the right is absolutely unparalleled at this particular point in time. They are out of their minds with the fact that President Obama might actually succeed at what he is doing. If he does, their entire belief system is going to shatter. And to them, their lives will be over. They simply can't deal with this.
If you don't believe me, here's a little story for you. I am friends with a doctor named Sam. Sam and I work out at the same gym. He is very conservative. Last summer, right before candidate Obama was to give his speech in Denver at Mile High Stadium, a group of right wing extremists were foiled in an attempt to kill him. My friend Sam, a well respected kidney specialist here in Minneapolis...a man who has dedicated his life to saving people...came up to me as I was on the treadmill and said, "Today is a sad day." He looked really down and, thinking that something horrible had happened, I asked him what exactly was wrong.
He pointed to the TV, which had images of the redneck fucks who were planning on killing Obama and said,
"Those guys failed at their mission to save this country."
Monday, April 13, 2009
Everyone...Quick! Be afraid...
Or...are they?
Dum Dum Dah!
Pick up any newspaper (while they are still around) or flip on any channel and you will see the "liberal" media reporting that the cohorts of the "pirates" vow revenge. Oooo.....
THEY'S A COMIN'!!! THEY'S A COMIN' MA....quick, hide the white women!
And the culture of fear rolls merrily along...:)
Friday, April 10, 2009
Rush Limbaugh - Brainwashed Nazi
This one is so good I can hardly stand it.
And it makes me happy to hear that not all Republicans have lost their minds.
Thursday, April 09, 2009
And the hits just keep on coming...
Not one to prove my wrong regarding how entertaining the conservative base has become, Michelle Bachmann (thankfully not my congressional representative) has accused Democrats and even fellow Republicans of starting re-education camps in the form of the new bill to expand Americorps.
In addition to the obvious question--what color is the sky in their world?--one must seriously wonder what the fuck goes on inside the heads of people that think this way. Americorps is similar to the Peace Corps in which volunteers serve their country for a summer helping to better our nation's communities.
Orin Hatch (R-Utah) is one of the bill's co-sponsors and has gone on record in saying that Bachmann's ravings on this matter are complete nonsense. You can add this bit of nonsense to her last shriek about cap and trade, in which she said that Americans would be paying 3K extra in taxes.
Complete bullshit. Here are the facts.
I'm waiting for the story (coming soon to a TV near you) in which someone like Bachmann or Glenn Beck shoots a "commie liberal"in the head, justifies it by saying that it was their patriotic duty, and 38 million people believe them.
Wednesday, April 08, 2009
Tuesday, April 07, 2009
Check It Out!
Bill Maher on Glenn Beck
This is the whole New Rules segment from last Friday. Forward to 1:50 and check it out. It sums up the right's hyper over exaggeration to a tee!
Monday, April 06, 2009
Armed and Hilarious
Remember...conservatives...never wrong...always right!
It should come as no surprise to anyone that she is now advocating an armed insurgency, proving me right yet again that conservatives seem to view all things through the lens of violence. Speaking out against cap and trade a couple of weeks back, Bachmann said she wants Minnesotans "armed and dangerous on this issue of the energy tax because we need to fight back."
Hmm...now let me see if I have this straight. Conservatives spent months talking about William Ayers, Weather Underground, and their ties with the supposed "radicalness" of Barack Obama and yet who are the ones that continue advocating insurgency?
Meanwhile, Sarah Palin, talking a break from creating a list of books to be banned in her quickly fading fairy tale of being the queen, is-OMG-like sooo pissed off and stuff because of what Levi dished on Tyra so she went to her BFFs at People Magazine and set the record straight.
Is it just me or does the conservative movement get more entertaining every day?
Saturday, April 04, 2009
Obama French Town Hall Meeting 4/3/2009 Pt5
This was the question I was talking about yesterday. Pay attention to the final point...fucking money.
Friday, April 03, 2009
Clear and to the Point
He said
Our security and our values are not in contradiction.
This sums up exactly how I feel about the use of torture in our conflict against extremism. It doesn't work. We can maintain the values that we have as a nation when it comes to the dignity of human life and still protect our country. My grandfather proved it in World War II when, rather than treating human beings as animals as the Japanese did, we offered them food and clothing in exchange for information (that the readily gave up) which lead to winning the war. Let me say this again for the deaf fuckers that read here...WE WON THE WAR. And we did not stoop to the levels that Japanese did in order to win.
As President Obama went on to say, we cannot allow Al Qaeda to use things like Abu Ghraib or Gitmo as a recruiting tool. We need to take away as many notions as we can that we are ANYTHING like these psychotics. We aren't. We need to lead by example and I thank God that finally we have a president who represents those values in abundance and is now taking that message to the rest of the world.
I'll put up some clips of the event over this weekend.
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
Then Stop Acting Like It!
Check this out.
Discussion over.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Oh, Dick.....Dick, Dick, Dick
My initial response was that it is quite foolish of anyone, regardless of their political stripes, to simply ignore the effects of any administration's policies (bad or good) and pretend they never happened. The effects of what Dick and George did to this country will be felt for decades if not longer. So, sorry, but I will be continuing to talk about them along with the all of the latest and greatest current events which, to anyone who actually takes the time to think, have a large degree of relevance to decisions President Bush made.....SIX MONTHS AGO!
Of course, the truly funny part about all of this (and helping me out immensely) is that they don't want to go away either. Cheney, Rice, McCain et al have been hitting all the major chat shows over the last month so to say that the left won't "let it go" is quite hilarious....and hypocritical which shouldn't surprise anyone. What is even more funny is that our former VP, in his latest round of media appearances, may have fucked himself......really fucked himself. And I am here to tell all of you that I love it.
From CSM.
Crusading Spanish human rights judge Baltasar Garzón is now considering criminal charges against top Bush administration officials for the torture of five Spanish citizens held at Guantánamo Bay, Cuba. Judge Garzón's previous prosecution of Gen. Augusto Pinochet eventually resulted in the Chilean dictator's arrest in Britain.
OH NO HE DI-ENT!
So funny that I think I actually laughed off one of my testicles is the fact that none of the men named in Garzon's investigation may have to say a fucking thing about Cheney because Cheney himself WON'T FUCKING SHUT UP ABOUT IT!! In all of his interviews that he has given since his departure from DC, Dick has made it a point to essentially state that torture makes our country safer. In particular, President Obama's new policies (see: closing of Gitmo) have made our country prone to attack. "We must torture," he cries at the top of his lungs, "it worked for us!"
His family may want to to try to get him to check his ego in the lobby before he enters the theater and shut his fucking mouth because our ol' Buddy Richie might find hisself in the hoosegow. As of yet, Richard Bruce Cheney has not been named but Gonzalez and Yoo have been. How long do you suppose it will be before they start flapping their gums, as many top Bush administration officials already are about how frequently torture was used and, sadly, how none of it yielded any useful information? Could it be the we could see a time in the near future when former administration officials won't be able to travel due to fears of being arrested for war crimes? Hoo boy...I can't wait to see the right spin themselves out of this one which we all know they will:)
In sum, good readers, I wanted to go on record and make all of you a promise: as long as Dick's only conviction is his own vanity, I am going to talk about what he says on this blog. It might be a tough nut for some of you to swallow but, as our current president begins representing our country at this week's G-20 summit in London, the rest of you can probably see that we really have a lot of 'splainin' to do, Lucy!
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Yep
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Here They Are
The list of the Dirty Dozen intrigues me the most. Why? Because it neatly and clearly shows the actual people responsible for fucking over America as opposed to the "evil spirits" the right has manufactured out of their asses to jibe with their paranoid beliefs about "gubmint." Only two on the list are government officials (Rubin and Paulson) with two more being part of quasi government agencies (Greenspan and Cox). All four of these men were completely worthless and drank the free market Kool Aid.
A fifth is Phil Gramm, former Republican Senator from Texas who was the Senate Banking Chair from 1995-2000. Intelligent minds think alike as the list mentions Gramm-Leach-Bliley (as I have repeatedly) as being a major catalyst to our current situation. Strangely absent from the list is Barney Frank, the right wingers favorite whipping boy. Sorry righties. Frank may be a putz and a buffoon but he has nowhere near the power to do what has been done. Neither does our government for that matter.
But the rest of the list does. They are all CEOs of the biggest financial institutions in our government and I'd love to hear what all of you think after you read what they did. Take a look at people like Cassano, Weill, and Cayne. What is the difference between these fucks and Bernie Madoff? Zero. They were allowed by the dicks mentioned above as well as Presidents Clinton and Bush to rape and pillage as many villages as they could get their grubby mits on and destroy.
And righties? Please try to bring your "it's all the government's regulations" horse shit to the table now. It's always been weak to begin with and now all it does is further the point that you have absolutely nothing to offer anymore which essentially makes future Democratic victories in coming election years more likely.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Dead Cat Bounce?
"See, Mark? See? I told you Barack Obama would be a horrible president."
"How do you mean?" I asked.
"Look at the Dow. Wall Street doesn't like him."
"Yeah, but how much does the president really affect Wall Street?"
"Oh, they do."
"So when it dropped all that way under Bush...that was his fault too?"
"That was different. That was Barney Frank's fault."
"Ah, I see. But, ML (her initials) it just went up a little today. How do you explain that?"
"My husband-he's in banking and knows more than you-that's just the dead cat bounce. This market is dead. Obama is destroying the market and eventually he will destroy this economy with his socialist policies."
Yesterday, the Dow gained 500 points after two weeks of solid gains. As of this writing it is slightly up after starting low. As I often do in these situations, I defer to someone who knows more about the economy than I do (I am more of a foreign policy and political wonk)...Last In Line...who has told me quite often that the president doesn't really have that much to do with the state of Wall Street.
These days that might be a little less true but his main point is valid. I do wonder, though, if she will give our president at least some credit the next time I see her at the gym and ask her about that "dead cat bounce" thing...why it, like so many other things out of the mouths of the right, was a complete bag of shit.
Probably not.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Torture is Cool
Well, this is the one that really pissed me off. Is there ever going to be a time in this country when people DON'T believe dumb ass shit like this? Probably not
The fact of the matter is that torture does not work. The information you get from it is very unreliable and the only purpose it serves is to further the right wing's bizarre "violence makes my dick hard" fetish. I think they have a serious problem and should seek help.
While they are doing that, the rest of us can proceed in a fashion that actually elicits results. Take the example of my recently passed grandfather who told me that when he was involved with interrogations (Pacific Theater 1942-1945) they would simply dangle the carrot of a warm meal, water, sometimes a movie (!) and before you knew it, they'd get all kinds of information about Japanese troop positions. It nauseated him as a Christian to here what was going on down at Gitmo and in other prisons around the world. And he was a lifelong Republican!
Hell, these days, the dudes down at Gitmo are falling all over themselves to claim more credit for 9-11. We don't have to do shit.
Friday, March 20, 2009
No Need To Imagine
I can only imagine what the reaction would be had GWB made a quip like that about the special olympics. Baracks teleprompter has denied all responsibility.
First of all, let's put to rest the right wing bullshit myth that President Obama only speaks well with a teleprompter. Clearly, people that say that don't spend a lot of time watching him speak. So, I challenge those who believe this to watch 10 hours of President Obama speaking at events like he did yesterday (sans teleprompter), answering questions, on chat shows etc...Take notes and send me clips of his speech. I think you will find that it is not as bad as the myth you believe.
Second, let's also put to rest the bizarre right wing myth that if you make a mistake that somehow that means you are weak. President Obama has said on several occasions that he is only human and he makes mistakes. In fact, he speaks very plainly about his faults and how dunderheaded he can be. Last night was an example of that. He was insensitive and rude. Thus he apologized.
And the reason why you would never here a similar reaction if the same thing happened with Bush is because: a) He would never apologize because b) mistake? What mistake? To admit error is weak and weaklings shall perish in a sinful pit of boiling sewage.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Liberal Media Watch
Ah, the "liberal media." Here we have former VP Dick Cheney lobbed softball question after limp noodle question and essentially given a forum to air his bullshit. This is just Part 1!
Sunday, March 15, 2009
A Giant Pile of Steaming...(Part 7 of 7)
Scenario:
Pedro fails high school English.
1958 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English and goes to college.
2008 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state.
Newspaper articles appear nationally
explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist.
ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system
and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core curriculum.
Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up
mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.
What a grand display of hyper inflated over exago bull crap. And, yes, FUCKING RACIST! This is the exact kind of bullshit that will piss me off no matter who the fuck is president. The fact that...and I know this is true because I hear about it every day from some of my conservative friends....these people think that if you don't learn English you end up mowing lawns is, without a doubt, the purest example of ego centrism combined with jingoism I have ever seen. Guess what, d bags? We aren't number one anymore largely thanks to the buffoon who occupied the oval office from 2001 to 2009. If any language should be learned, it's Chinese, not English.
"English banned from core curriculum?" Douche Bag Code for "Them firners are a comin'!"
"ACLU files...?" Douche Bag Code for "Please release your inner racist or you will be speaking firner soon."
"Newspaper articles appear nationally..." Douche Bag code for "All media are liberal commies who should be taken to camps and/or shot in the head."
"Pedro's cause is taken.." Douche Bag code for "Liberals are fascists who want to take your guns."
How much longer are we going to listen to this crap? People that say these types of things are fucking liars. Period. Liars who seek only to instill fear and fan rage.
The real reason why Pedro has failed high school English was that he was probably given a standardized test (see: No Child Left Behind) that has no sensitivity whatsoever to his learning style or his culturally diverse background. This essentially means that it is the worst fucking gauge of his actual intelligence.
In addition, his instructor was more than likely a lazy ass and did not pay attention to Pedro's differentiated learning style. If, instead of lecture, he had been taught in one of the other MILLION instructional strategies available to teachers, he would NOT have failed. Off the top of my head, if I have an ELL (English Language Learner) in one of my classes, I try to use as much audio and visual material as I can. I certainly don't stand up there and jabber away with an ego the size of a hot fucking air balloon while my students doodle, text, or pass out from boredom.
So, all of you...please...the next time you hear anything remotely like this, call the moron on their bullshit. Tell them to take a walk down Main Street and see who actually lives in our country now as opposed to the make believe land they have in their delusions.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
A Giant Pile of Steaming....(Part 6 of 7)
Scenario:
Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee.
He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.
1958 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2008 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job.
She faces 3 years in State Prison.
Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.
Ok, this happens every day at my kid's school and no one is accused of being a sexual predator. In fact, I would wager that it goes on in most schools and this is just more "code" for psychology is a myth and if everyone just pulled themselves up by their boot straps, their lives would be fine.
Friday, March 13, 2009
A Giant Pile of Steaming....(Part 5 of 7)
Scenario:
Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July,
puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed.
1958 - Ants die.
2008- BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called.
Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, FBI investigates parents,
siblings removed from home, computers confiscated,
Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list
and is never allowed to fly again.
I assume they mean at school? If not, this happens pretty much all summer long in my neighborhood and no one so much as lifts a finger.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
A Giant Pile of Steaming...(part 4 of 7)
Scenario:
Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1958 - Mark shares aspirin with Principal out on the smoking dock.
2008 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations.
Car searched for drugs and weapons.
First of all, smoking dock? I asked everyone I know who was alive in 1958 if their school had a smoking dock and the answer from everyone was no. Teachers could smoke in the teacher's lounge but students got in trouble if they got caught with cigarettes.
As a parent, I can also relate that there are a wide variety of forms that parents can fill out to allow their kids to take aspirin, Tylenol, or anything else they might need. No police are called, no cars are searched, and no one is expelled.
The conceptual lens of people who think this way is in desperate need of an anti-bacterial wash.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
A Giant Pile of Steaming...(Part 3 of 7)
Scenario:
Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.
1958 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins.
Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2008 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark.
Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it
They shake hands and end up buddies? Seriously, is this person writing this email FROM the year 1958 and is his Dad named Ward Cleaver?
I showed my mom this and she laughed. As a principal, she told me what actually happens as opposed to what happens in ignorant over exago land.
No Swat team is called and no charges are filed. Both Johnny and Mark are shown to my mom's office. She asks them what happened. They both lie. Their parents are called in and told that the children are suspended for a day or more (depending upon the severity of the fight). They come back to school and avoid each other for awhile eventually becoming more concerned seeing the latest comic book movie.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
A Giant Pile of Steaming...(Part 2 of 7)
Scenario:
Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car
and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1958 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal,
goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2008 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse.
Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang.
State psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers
being abused herself and their dad goes to prison.
Billy's mom has affair with psychologist.
Actually, what 1958 should read is this:
Billy has a wide variety of mental and emotional issues related to the physical abuse his dad inflicted on him, fails to go to college or land a decent job, and grows up to abuse his own kids because that's WHAT ACTUALLY FUCKING HAPPENS IN THE REAL WORLD AS OPPOSED TO NEVER NEVER LAND!!!
The person who wrote this email clearly has never spent any time with abused children or adults and is completely lacking in any sort of knowledge of even rudimentary psychology and behavior development. To them, these fields are probably just "more liberal bullshit" which is quite apparent in their view of 2008. What a bunch of over exaggerated nonsense.
In addition, what's with the violence thing again? Seriously, I honestly think that people that view the world this way get off on beatings and death. It reminds me of the time I watched the Passion of the Christ a few years back. I was with some friends of mine who are very right wing Christians and, for many of them, it was their third or fourth time! Honestly, I could only watch Jesus Christ being beaten and mutilated once. It was sad and nauseating. They didn't seem to mind, though, as they were over taken by emotion and, strangely, almost seemed to enjoy it.
Put that together with how they seem to always have to find an enemy to blow up somewhere and it really makes you wonder. Maybe they might fit in just fine in Iran or Saudi Arabia.
Monday, March 09, 2009
A Giant Pile of Steaming...(Part 1 of 7)
Each email consisted of a comparison between a school in 1958 and a school today. There were 8 comparisons and a concluded paragraph which ordered
This email should hit every email box to show how stupid we have become.
So, let's take a look at how "stupid" we have become and start off our Monday with two comparisons.
Scenario:
Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students.
1958 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the Principal.
Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2008 - Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie.
Tested for ADD. School gets extra money from state
because Jeffrey has a disability.
Scenario:
Jack goes quail hunting before school,
pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.
1958 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun,
goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
2008 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail
and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselor called in
for traumatized students and teachers.
Let's begin the idiocy in the first example of beating a child with ADD. Really? Is that a solution for someone who has a learning disorder...violence? As we go through the week, we will see more examples of how violence seems to be the only answer for people who think like this...which, of course, begs the question...aren't believers in Christ supposed to support non violence?
And of course, we do have the rip about the school "getting money from the state" which is right wing douche bag code word for "evil" big government taking YOUR money and giving it some retard somewhere. If only that gimp could heed those magic words of the right....just pull yourself up by your bootstraps and everything will be fine.
The second example shows an oldie but a goodie...Gubmint's a comin' to take our guns! I loves my guns! And then Jack is going to be sent away...to jail! What a pantload. First of all, who goes quail hunting before school? And if they do, it is probably in Montana or Wyoming where no one is going to call the FBI. I do quite enjoy the counselors getting called in thing though because everyone in education, of course, are all a bunch of lily livered faggots who are all a-feared of guns...right?
Now, the do have a good point about the over medication which is why I paired these two together. If Jack were on an SSRI (Serotonin Re-Uptake Inhibitor), then he would probably go on a school shooting spree. Drugs like Paxil, Prozac, and Lexepro should never be given to any person under the age of 21 as they tend to make their still developing minds think more violently (1 out of 100 young adults!) and possibly act that way. Look at any school shooting in the last ten years and ALL of the gunmen have been on anti depressants.
But seriously...this makes us "stupid?" That we want to take care of people that are mentally challenged? That we don't want our children to carry guns in schools? That we don't beat our kids anymore?
Folks, the word "stupid" is actually right wing douche bag code for "weak." Essentially, problems are too complex for them in today's society so...let's resort to violence, which seems to be their answer for everything. Anyone want to guess what countries in the world still beat their students and mistreat children that are mentally challenged?
Iran, Saudi Arabia, Syria, Pakistan...
So I guess the right wants us to be just like them:)
Cool.
Thursday, March 05, 2009
The Grudge Match
A few weeks ago I wrote about how President Obama made his first mistake by even mentioning Rush Limbaugh. For the most part, I think this is still true. He has much more important things on his mind than to address an entertainer. But now this entertainer has hilariously been set up as the head of the opposition which, in all honesty, is fucking great, I hope Rush stays in the news for a long time. Why?
Now the entire country can truly see what the GOP has become...an ignorant, hate filled group of jingoistic psychotics who subscribe to a divisive belief system. Either you are with us or you are a traitor, is their motto and they will shout it to the highest tree tops in identifying who are the enemies of the state...who are the "real" Americans and who are not.
If President Obama is even marginally successful in his efforts to help the economy, it will be the end of the douche bagedness of the conservative movement in this country. It might even be the end of the GOP period. Check out this quote from another blog I post on:
We will fracture from the Repubes and go by a new party name-the Limbaughians. And then he can head things up. I will gladly go to work for him. He loves smart women, pays very well, and we are on the same page ideologically. I could never work for a liberal.
Cool.
Wednesday, March 04, 2009
Pelosi on Hannity
Here is a clip of Alexandra Pelosi hawking her HBO special on Hannity. They show another clip from the doc which is very interesting...Hannity as the messiah.
Also, check out how much he fawns over Alex:)
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
Monday, March 02, 2009
A Sad Tale
Her latest film examines the aftermath of President Obama's election and its effect on right wing America. I started it and stopped it at least three times (had it on TiVo) because I just could not take the magnitude of the ignorance in the 50 minute piece. Finally, as any political wonk would, I somehow managed to get through it. I'll put up a clip tomorrow from the film but I urge all of you who have HBO to watch this documentary. It will be airing on HBO all month. After you do, let me know if you reach the same conclusions that I did, which are:
- Complete vindication of my assertion that the loons in the Republican Party are far more abundant, organized, and strong than the loons on the left. In fact, they are the base of the conservative movement.
- Just as with the loons on the left, their complete and utter ignorance knows no bounds.
- Their ignorance is willful...again just like on the left.
- Complete destruction of Jonah Goldberg's fucking dumb ass theory that liberals are secretly fascists. Watch this documentary and you will see that the conservative movement is about fervent and warped nationalism fed by very strict views on race, gender, religion, and sexual orientation....all key ingredients to a fascist state (more on this later in the week).
Now, Pelosi says that "while not representative of the entire Republican Party, these are just some of the party faithful who turned out at campaign rallies along the way." Of course she has to say that in an attempt to sound fair and balanced. And even I am willing to admit that, after numerous arguments over the years about Yassar Arafat being a "freedom fighter," the left is full of shit about many things.
But where is the left's equivalent of Rush Limbaugh...or should I say Herr Limbaugh? His speech delivered at the CPAC conference over the weekend was nauseating. He talked a lot about freedom...freedom as long as its his way, mind you. Where is the left's equivalent of CPAC? Or Grover Norquist? Or Sinclair Broadcasting? Or Clear Channel? Oh, that's right. That would be the delusion that NBC, ABC, and CBS are all liberal.
Honestly, folks, I just don't see any sort of organizing principle on the left like I do on the right...like we clearly see in this documentary. To simply say that "there are just as many crazies on the left as on the right" is overly simplistic. Jerry Falwell said it best when he said that the conservative base is the largest minority voting bloc in this country. Guess what?
They all turned out for Alexandra Pelosi.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Still Laughing (and hurting from it)
Thanks to Last in Line for sharing this with me...this is the funniest thing I have seen since "Jizz in My Pants."
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Once Again, Remarkable
He took some tough questions and had some very interesting answers..one of which was a promise to reduce the federal deficit by half. He said that the economic crisis “will require us to make difficult decisions" and that he “going through our budget line by line to root out waste and inefficiency,” and “eliminating programs that don’t work.” In addition, he “will stop the fraud and abuse” and “make more tough choices,” he said, “to start living within our means again." All of this said after last week's remarks regarding cuts in Social Security, Medicare and a reformation the tax code. What the? Is he really a Democrat?
But talk isn't enough...which is what most Republicans said who attended the meeting...I think with good cause. As our new President addresses Congress tonight and unveils his budget on Thursday, let's all take an honest look to see if he is going to actually make cuts and raise revenues.
Alright, conservatives, if you see the cuts are you going to give him credit or will you continue to do the "tap into your inner rage and find fault with everything" rag?
Sunday, February 22, 2009
And My Pick Is.....
If I had to rate the rest of them I guess Frost Nixon is a close second followed by Benjamin Button, then Slumdog and finally The Reader.
Where It All Began
To begin with, the film is excellent. Frank Langella and Michael Sheen are absolutely stunning in their performances. The supporting cast, consisting of Sam Rockwell, Kevin Bacon, and Oliver Platt, is also quite good. The film is based on the great interviews that David Frost had with Richard Nixon in 1977.
For me, the most intriguing part of the film (actually using the interviews themselves as dialog) was the haunting similarity between Nixon's explanations of Watergate/Vietnam and President Bush's explanations of...well everything he did. Dick Cheney and Don Rumsfeld both worked for Richard Nixon in his second administration and they learned well from the master. The complete and utter bald face lies told time and again in the face of basic facts is as nauseating today as it was 31 years ago.
The money line:
"I'm saying that when the president does it, it's not illegal"
Sound familiar?
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Tell Me A Story
Based on the novel, the film tells the story of a young man named Michael who has a chance encounter with an older woman named Hannah. They have an affair over the spring and summer of 1958 in which he learns the art of love making. It's been awhile since I was turned on...in that way...by a regular film and some of scenes gave me the screaming thigh sweats!
Hannah moves unexpectedly and leaves Michael wondering what happened. Years later, Michael is a law student and goes with this class to watch trials of suspected Nazi sympathizers. It turns out that Hannah is one of the suspects and the story unfolds from there in a very tragic yet terribly romantic way.
Ralph Fiennes plays the older version of Michael who is essentially a man who never got over his one true love. The main hook of the story, which I want give away, is very near and dear to me as I am a vociferous reader. Kate Winslett is her usual wonderful self and has several nude scenes ( great ass btw). David Kross plays the young Michael and is the real star of this film. He does silence better than any actor I have seen in a long while.
For those of you looking for a night of tragic passion and unrequited love, check this one out.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Life Outside the Bubble
The film tells a story of a young man named Jamal Malik and his rise from the slums of Mumbai all the way to a chance appearance on the Indian version of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. Jamal is played by Dev Patel who I knew I was going to like because of my obsession with the British TV show Skins.
As he recounts his life to a police office who is torturing him for information as to why he made it onto the game show in the first place, we see the horrors of poverty, the insanity of the human condition, and, of course, the power of love. For most Americans, the sight of the slums in India is horrific. When I saw the film, there were actually people shouting at the screen because they couldn't believe what young Jamal had seen and done in his life.
Convectional wisdom says this is the one that is going to win. I'm holding out my pick until I see The Reader tomorrow night.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Americana At Its Best
The film tells the story of a man born old and living backwards...getting younger and younger as the years roll on. His story begins in 1918 and moves forward to present day. The first hour of the film is typical period piece, shoo in for and Oscar nom fare. As we get into the World War Two years, the tone becomes a little more stark. Right about at mid point (the film is almost three hours) you realize that this is a movie about the relationships that one has in one's life. In particular, how the people you love are dynamic...in a constant state of change...and are highly unpredictable.
I have been going through some tough stuff with one such relationship in my life recently and, as usual, the reason why I love films as much as I do was fully illustrated in this narrative. The relationship between Benjamin (Brad Pitt) and Daisy (Cate Blanchett) was nothing short of extraordinary. I have always had questions in my head, for my whole life really, about relationships....questions like why does love seem eternally unfilled...confused...sad..and ultimately lonely?
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button answers these questions quite well which, as films often do, made me feel a lot better about the aformentioned relationship.
And it is a very nice tapestry of Americana, from a rabid historian's point of view.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Harvey Delivers from the Grave
My grandmother has been a staunch conservative for her entire life. She has gone to the same church for over 60 years and is a strict believer in the word of God.
So, it came as a real surprise to me that she told me that she saw the film MILK recently with her friends. The movie, currently nominated for several Oscars including Best Picture, Best Actor, and Best Screenplay, tells the story of Harvey Milk, the first openly gay man to be elected to a public office.
Milk was elected to the San Francisco Board of Supervisors in 1977. He also was instrumental in defeating Proposition 6, a state wide referendum which would have banned all homosexuals from teaching in public schools. He, along with Mayor George Muscone, was assassinated by another member of the Board named Dan White on November 27, 1978. White's motive was anger over the liberal, multi cultural turn that the board had taken. In addition to electing the first gay man, the Board had also elected its first single mom and first Chinese American, two other people that White had planned on killing but changed his mind after he shot Muscone 4 times (3 in the head) and Milk also 5 times (2 in the head) with hollow point bullets.
I had recently seen the film as well, being a part of my usual Oscar blitz at this time of year, and both of us talked about it. She remarked of the horrible treatment by fellow Americans that gay people have had to endure which is depicted quite vividly in the film. She was angry at how un-Christian supposed followers of Jesus were when the topic of homosexuality comes up. And then she dropped a bomb shell on me.
She told me that homosexuals are born the way God intended them to be and it was not learned behavior like some people thought. Wow! Even 20 years after he was shot, Harvey is still changing people's minds.
Needless to say, I was very happy. We talked some more about the film and how incredibly sad it was that America has so many stories about people who try to stand up and change things to make people happier only to be gunned down by psychotic morons.
If you go see the film, a word of warning: they show everything in the assassination scene. It is very difficult to watch. I have no qualms about saying that I wept like a baby before, during and after it.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Guess What?
Blogger Michelle Malkin, in a story on the conservative Web site TownHall.com on Wednesday, said that if Hughes "had more time, she probably would have remembered to ask Obama to fill up her gas tank, too."
"The soul-fixer dutifully asked her name, gave her a hug and ordered his staff to meet with her. Supporters cried, 'Amen!' and 'Yes!' " she added.
"How does a 61-year-old homeless woman who's living in a pickup truck with her son JUST HAPPEN to get a ticket so she can VERY PUBLICLY ask Prez. Obama for a HOUSE? Anyone? Who pushes her up on stage? She's right at the front of the crowd. Did she just happen to get a seat there?" asked reader Erik E.
I don't know, Erik but as is the usual with the right, you have demonstrated a complete lack of taking any sort of responsibility and completely missed the point.
What a fucking shock.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Wait For It
He took questions and the woman at left, Henrietta Hughes, got up and told him how rough her life had been lately. I predict the right will pile on her like flies on shit in the next 48 hours. She is a perfect example of who they love to rip apart. Let's keep an eye out, shall we?
Monday, February 09, 2009
The Sad Return of a Monster
Someone needs to ask the former vice president if he is so concerned about Al Qaeda, why are Osama bin Laden and Ayman El Zawahari, the men responsible for 9-11, still at large after SEVEN AND A HALF FUCKING YEARS! Why did he insist on invading Iraq and allow Al Qaeda to reconstitute itself as it has been fully proven in this NIE report. In fact, Dick should review this blog post and come back to reality.
As for the rest of us, in light of Dick's outburst, why don't we review what appeal to fear means.
Friday, February 06, 2009
Siimply Wonderful
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
Liberal Media Watch
Hmm...what I am missing here?
I thought that the media was all liberally and soft and shit on Obama. Could it be that (gasp!) the media is actually more interested in ratings and profit than political leanings?
Nah, can't be.
Tuesday, February 03, 2009
The Most Liberal Agenda?
Today, it will sound absolutely ludicrous.
In about an hour, President Obama will appoint Judd Gregg, yet another Republican, to be Commerce Secretary and serve in his cabinet. Gregg is a fiscal conservative and staunchly pro life. The American Conservative Union, which is THE congressional ratings association for Republicans, gives him a lifetime rating of 78 percent.
Now, how can our president be pursuing the most liberal agenda in our country's history and still have people like this on his team? Is it because, unlike my esteemed colleagues on the right, that my guy actually likes to listen to (gasp!) alternative viewpoints?
Monday, February 02, 2009
A Quick Goodbye Please
Tom Daschle represents so many things that I loathe about the Democratic Party that I am hoping and praying that he goes away soon to a life of quiet rumination.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Show Me A Child
The best bit though was when the interviewer asked about Al Qaeda and how they seemed nervous about the Obama era. Our new president responded by saying
They are nervous. They are nervous because they are going to see a changed America on my watch. No longer will they have a devil to point at and the world will see their ideas for what they are..completely bankrupt. Show me a child that Al Qaeda has helped during the last eight years. The only way they understand is violence.
My guy hits one out of the park...all the way past Waveland.
Monday, January 26, 2009
His First Mistake
By mentioning Limbaugh in a meeting regarding the stimulus package, our new president has now empowered him and elevated him to the status of having a seat at the table. Rush Limbaugh should have no such fucking seat at the table when it comes to anything related to the direction of our country. He is an entertainer and lacks, in just about every way, the intellectual and moral strength that it takes to run this country. Or any country for that matter.
Now, someone like myself (a fourth rate blogger who only has about 200 readers as opposed to Rush's 13.7 million listeners) can mention Rush and get away with it as it usually makes my page loads go up. The fact that President Obama lowered himself by mentioning Rush's name nauseates me. Rush's ideas regarding where this country should go are akin to a 5th grader who is on an eternal temper tantrum...never admitting fault...never shutting up....never, EVER being wrong.
I knew he'd make mistakes, and I think the economic stimulus is going to hold a big one for him, but I didn't think he would ever make a dumb one like this so early. Ah well, he is only human:)
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Oh....no.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
"I Hope He Fails"
Setting aside the fact for just a moment that if President Obama does fail that will mean a worse economic situation than we have now, I think Rush is beginning to sound desperate. Odd, because he still gets around a 5 share which, in radio lingo, is pretty amazing in ratings . Obama HAS to fail because if he doesn't or even if he is marginally successful it proves that Rush and other conservatives are wrong (see: End Times).
It is absolutely unconscionable that Rush Limbaugh, in this truly challenging and uncertain time, wants the president of the United States to fail. Doesn't he have even the slightest sensitivity for the people in this country that are hurting right now? If he is the patriot he claims to be, he will set aside his own hubris and attempt to be helpful.
Think he'll do it?